Sunday, April 7, 2013


There are two commercials presently being run on American TV. (Okay, there are hundreds of them, but these particular two are the best and the worst).
First, the best. That would be the Cheerios commercial which at the end features a closeup of a really cute infant in a high chair grubbing at a pile of Cheerios and stuffing them in his (her?) mouth and babbling "Num, num, num". 
How very precious. It didn't make me want me to rush out and buy a box of Cheerios, but awwwww....
It's a heck of a lot better than the Cheerios commercial I saw as a little boy. In that one, "Cheerios Sue" was in a castle tower being besieged by a freaking dragon. And a damn scary dragon it was, too.  And even though the "Cheerios Kid" defeated the dragon (after, of course, wolfing down a bowl of Cheerios), that damn commercial gave me some of the worst childhood nightmares I'll never forget.
So, General Mills, you are hearby awarded the Alexandria Daily Poop's 2013 award for "Best Commercial on Broadcast Television".
 Having accentuated the positive, we shall now attempt to eliminate the negative by asking our gentle readers to write AAMCO and tell them to pull this damn ad from the airwaves.
This disgusting travesty is the one where the voiceover admonishes the viewer that "You wouldn't trust just anybody to sit in your cubicle" as the video shows a man licking a computer keyboard only to be confronted by a shocked female co-worker.
The camera cuts to a scene of an apprehensive elderly woman being embraced by a bare-chested hairy ape as the announcer intones: "Or hug your mother".
The next scene is of a guy laying on a massage table as a Mexican wrestler perches on a bookshelf. As the announcer says: "Or be your massage therapist", the Mexican wrestler crouches, gives off a high-pitched scream, and launches himself off the bookshelf at the table.
That commercial is so bad that I fumble for the remote and change the channel every time it comes on. I have even gone so far as to unplug the TV when that option is handier than trying to find out where the remote has gotten off to.
Gentle readers, I ask you to write or Email General Mills and tell them that you love their ad. After all, in these crazy times it is precious, is it not?
And do the same for AAMCO. Except in that case tell them to get that damn ad off the air.
I mean, what would you rather see? A keyboard-licking pervert or a happy baby?
In our opinion, no contest.

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