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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

TOYS R US EMPLOYEES BEWARE OF THIS BANKRUPTCY SCHEME

If you work for "Toys "R" us particularly in Virginia, you are doubtless aware that the company is filing for bankruptcy protection. They may be about to pull a little scam to screw you out of unemployment benefits. Here's how it works (Magruders pulled this same crap):

They'll tell you that the company is "reorganizing" under Chapter 11 and say that a new company will be formed and in order to b e considered you must resign and re-apply.

WARNING! DO NOT RESIGN! IN VIRGINIA YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO COLLECT UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS IF YOU RESIGN AND IF TOYS ARE US DOES WHAT MAGRUDERS DID THEY WILL WAIT UNTIL EVERYBODY HAS RESIGNED AND SCREWED THEMSELVES OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT AND OTHER BENEFITS AND THEN CHANGE FROM CHAPTER 11 REORGANIZATION TO STRAIGHT CHAPTER 7 LIQUIDATION.

Do not fall for this dirty trick, and don't believe the suits when they tell you everything's fine. It's not. Be careful and don't resign until you've found something else. Lotsa luck.

ANGRY MOB OF ILLEGALS SHOUTS DOWN NANCY PELOSI FOR WORKING WITH TRUMP

You see, Gentle Readers, we told you so!

Just like in Hunt for Red October, President Trump has turned the torpedo coming for him right back at the enemy, and it has blown up in their faces. Yesterday Nancy Pelosi sought to have a press conference when a mob of illegals showed up and started shouting her down for the crime of having even met with Trump about anything at all. We believe President Trump knew exactly what would happen when he allowed himself to be seen eating and perceived to be negotiating with Pelosi and Schumer. These illegals are largely ignorant and are rightly suspicious that the Democrats are just using them and will toss them under the ICE bus as soon as they are inconvenient.

People, President Trump knows the Democrat playbook, having been one. And he knows how they perceive the "little guys" they are trying to "help". He knew this would happen, and now Pelosi and Schumer are catching hell from these illegals who thought that the Democrats were there to help them. 

Heading 3-1-5! 


Friday, September 15, 2017

TRUMP MAKES HIS HEADING 3-1-5, REPUBLICANS FREAK

Remember the movie "Hunt for Red October"? Sean Connery plays a Russian officer who wants to defect and give a top-secret nuclear ballistic missile sub to the United States. The Soviets guess his game and send an attack sub to destroy both him and Red October. Eventually the attack sub, captained by a young officer who had studied under him at the Soviet Naval Academy, launches a torpedo at Red October. Connery's character instructs the American at the helm to head right into the torpedo, saying: "Make your heading 3-1-5. As the Russians and Americans sweat and count down the seconds to impact, Connery makes small talk. And when the torpedo hits, it does not explode but breaks apart. Connery explains that he knows the other boat's captain as he taught him at the Academy and knew he would set the torpedo to arm itself at a certain point, thus he guided Red October to meet the torpedo head-on before it was armed, destroying it. Later the opposing captain fires again and Connery, knowing he won't make the same mistake twice, executes a series of maneuvers that cause the opposing sub to become the target of the torpedo. The opposing sub is killed by her own weapon.

Similarly, a few days ago President Trump had dinner with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and let it slip that some deals had been made. Most conservative talk hosts and the entire Republican establishment is freaking out. 

Relax, folks.

President Trump knows Pelosi. He knows Schumer. He used to be a Democrat and knows the playbook. And he is well aware that Pelosi and Schumer want to destroy him. 

Let the Captain make the heading 3-1-5. He knows what he's doing.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

CITIZENS AND BUSINESSES REACT TO PLANS TO CHANGE THE NAME OF JEFFERSON DAVIS HIGHWAY IN ALEXANDRIA AND ARLINGTON VIRGINIA

The governing Councils of the City of Alexandria and the County of Arlington in the Commonwealth of Virginia today announced that the portion of U.S. Route 1 running through the two jurisdictions; currently known as Jefferson Davis Highway; will be renamed "Martin Luther King Junior Memorial Highway" pending approval of the State legislature, which is needed for the change to proceed in Arlington. 

We interviewed some residences and businesses along the route of the proposed change. Surprisingly, although the corridor voted overwhelmingly for Obama in 2008 and 2012 and for Clinton in 2016, the residents and business owners were largely not pleased by the development.

Shopkeeper after shopkeeper told our investigators that they were pleased to have their shop located on a route named after such an important icon, but that the costs of changing letterhead and signage would be burdensome. At several of these locations corrugated steel rolldown doors were being installed, having just that day been ordered. Only one merchant was deliriously happy: Harvey's Custom Signs; whose owner Harvey Smithers told us he had been cranking out "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs as fast as he could print them. Smithers, who is African American, told the ADP:

"See, I ain't no fool. I know all these liberal white folks in Del Ray and Crystal City can't stand th' notion of having to tell folks to take a right or a left off of Martin fuckin' Luther King t' get t' they house. So I found out about this yesterday and set up to print out these signs. They cost me a dollar to make and I sell 'em for twenty bucks. So far today I made fifty thousand dollars. And my brother owns a moving company, so I steer people to him.'

'Talk about affordable housing. The politicians gonna have lotsa affordable housing within days of that name change taking effect. My brother and me gonna buy a bunch of it. Then we gonna rent 'em out. Then, when the City realizes that the tax assessments is way down, they greedy asses gonna change the name back and give some lame excuse, and all the whiteys gonna wanna move back an' my brother an' me are gonna like buy houses at $25 thou each and sell 'em back to the whiteys for the three or four hundred grand they paid in the first place. Then we gonna move to someplace where white folks ain't so goddamn crazy."

Mayor Silberberg and the City Manager and Council did not respond to the ADP's request for comments.

Note: ONCE AGAIN THIS IS A SATIRE! However, in this case the possibility of it coming true is all too real.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

CONTROVERSY ERUPTS AFTER ALT RIGHT OBTAINS PERMIT TO ERECT STATUE OF JOHN WILKES BOOTH AT FORD'S THEATER

Washington, D.C.
August 27 2017

City officials in the Nation's Capital are red with embarrassment as they struggle to quash a "special use" building permit obtained by "Alt Right" leader Spencer Richards. The purpose of the permit is to allow the demolition of a souvenir shop across the street from Ford's Theater (and next to the house where President Abraham Lincoln died) in order that a statue memorializing what Richards calls "The alleged" assassin of Lincoln, Confederate sympathizer and actor John Wilkes Booth.

The property was purchased by a "front group" and the Special Use permit stated only that the property was to be used as the site of "a memorial".  

"We just assumed it was gonna be a memorial by some private person, and that the subject of the memorial was going to be President Lincoln' said a D.C. official who declined to be identified.  'I mean, who could have even thought about this crazy-ass shit happening here in the 21st Century? And less than a month after Charlottesville?"

"We just wanted to get the truth out' said Richards when asked why his group had performed such an elaborate ruse. 'Booth didn't shoot Lincoln. Lincoln shot himself, and Booth fled thinking - and rightly so - that he'd be blamed for Lincoln's death".

Richards claims that Booth had only gone to Ford's Theater to deliver a message to Lincoln:

"Lincoln had been drinking heavily during the last few weeks of the war' Richards claimed; 'And Booth went to the Theater to inform the President of the fact that he had freed the slaves whilst he had been drunk. He was carrying a letter informing the President of that fact as he approached the Presidential Box."

Richards produced a copy of the letter, which he claimed had been found in the alley behind Ford's Theater by an unknown person and given to Richard's organization by descendants of that individual, who wish to remain anonymous. The letter reads:

Dear Mr. President:
It is my concern that you did not, by reason of your inebriation, know what you were doing when you freed all the slaves earlier this year. Please reflect on this fact, and rescind your order. Respectfully, JWB.

According to Richards, Booth told Dr. Samuel Mudd that when Lincoln read the letter, he gasped, started and handed the missive back to Booth as he said "I FREED THE WHAT!??!!" Handing the letter back to Booth, Lincoln drew a derringer from his pocket and shot himself in the head. 

As to additional elements to the assassination, Richards claims that Mary Todd Lincoln told Major Rathbone that if Lincoln's death were deemed a suicide, she would be ineligible to benefit from the multimillion dollar life insurance policy on Lincoln's life. So Rathbone stabbed himself with a dagger and threw it into the alley where Booth was escaping. 

The other alleged "conspirators", claims Richards, were people Booth knew and were only coincidentally involved with incidents erroneously tied to the assassination. George Atzerott was only trying to burglarize Vice President Johnson's hotel suite; and Louis Paine attempted to kill Secretary of State Seward for drugging his 12 year old niece with laudanum and molesting her in the woods in what is now Rock Creek Park. 

Richards' claims have been met with extreme skepticism by most members of the public, and City officials have filed for a restraining order forbidding the "alt right" from doing any work or demolition on the site while they attempt to revoke the permit on grounds of fraud and deception by Richards and his group. The next hearing on this matter is scheduled in D.C. Superior Court for October 13th.

Note to readers: The foregoing post is SATIRE. NO ONE (at least to our knowledge) is planning such and outrageous memorial. This blog post is nothing but satire... and click bait. Got it? 

Monday, August 21, 2017

THE RACIST ECLIPSE

That's right folks, you read right. Some whiny lady discovered that the "path of totality" of today's eclipse of the sun passed over only areas with majority white populations. 

Two things: Number one, the eclipse did NOT "pass over" anyplace. everybody saw it at the same Grenwich Meridian Time. What looks like a "path" is just where you'd have needed to be to see the full effect at XX:XX Hours Greenwich Meridian Time,

Number two: HOW FUCKING STUPID AND/OR OBSESSED DO YOU HAVE TO BE to believe that there are racial implications to a fucking eclipse? Somebody needs a straitjacket and a rubber room. Cripes. Need we elaborate? Stupidest thing I have heard in a long time. sheeesh.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

MEDIA GOES OFF THE RAILS IN CHARLOTTESVILLE REPORTING

We cannot believe the utter bullcrap being peddled by the Left and the media about the Charlottesville riots of last week. 

Perhaps the most egregious statements are those who compared the filthy hippies (who just showed up unpermitted and uninvited and began raising hell) to "noble and heroic" figures in history. They have been compared to the troops who invaded Normandy to take down Adolf Hitler's criminal regime. They have also been compared to the people who fought the German National Socialist Worker's Party in the streets before the Nazis took power. 

What a load of crapola.

The American forces at Normandy took the toughest of the obstacles at their assigned beachheads. We rather doubt that any of the "ANTIFA" blowholes would have obeyed orders to scale cliffs with ropes dangling from grappling hooks while the Waffen SS fired down on them. 

And the people who fought the NSDAP in the streets in Germany were BOLSHEVIKS. They were a pack of goddamned Communists whose ultimate aim was a similar world totalitarian state as desired by the Nazis. It was smallpox vs. ebola then, and it's smallpox vs ebola now. 

And of course there are calls for stricter gun control, even though there was not one shot fired the whole time. In fact, the armed "militias" who showed up arguably prevented things from getting WORSE; as some of these got between the "alt right" and the ANTIFA idiots, who had more sense than to try to fuck with men who had rifles. 

The Second American Civil War continues to heat up, and the Media are fanning the flames. God help America. And God bless President Trump.

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