2012 IN REVIEW
Well, we hardly know what to say. This has been one of the screwiest years we can remember. Our predictions for the past year were further off than they have ever been (but for the most part, that's a good thing).
NOT good was the fact that we managed to re-elect the absolutely worst president in this nation's history. Three million McCain voters and Ron Paulistas either stayed home or idiotically voted 3rd party, and now we're stuck with Mr. Obama for another four years, unless by some miracle there's a movement in Congress to impeach him.
This being the situation, we wish Hillary would have been Obama's running mate. As it is, she's fallen and she can't get up and testify about the Benghazi attacks under oath; and that's one thing that might get even a few Democrats talking impeachment.
The House and Senate elections were disappointing. The Senate is still in Democrat hands, but they are nowhere near the 60 votes they need to turn that body into a rubber stamp. There is a movement afoot to violate the Senate's own rule about changing procedure and eliminate the filibuster, though. (Naturally, when the Republicans tried to end the filibuster of judicial nominations, Reid and his bunch went nuts. But now that an end to the filibuster would essentially make the Senate a rubber stamp for Obama, Dingy Harry wants to do exactly what he decried back then, except he wants no more filibusters, period. We'll just bet that when the Democrats are the minority again, they'll try and pull some hokey parliamentary tricks to rule their own actions improper and re-instate the filibuster - if they manage to scotch it, which they probably won't.)
The Republicans would have probably gotten control of the Senate again if a couple of candidates who looked like shoo-ins hadn't made idiotic remarks about how a rape can't result in a pregnancy because a woman's reproductive system "shuts down" during unwanted sex. Those remarks cost them their campaigns and quite possibly those of a few others. (Note to politicians, especially male politicians: If the subject of rape comes up, say that rape is rape and that it is wrong, every time. Then ask for the next question.)
The Republicans lost a few seats in the House, but they still have a strong majority. Seeing as they control the money, that's a good thing. Nothing gets done until the money is approved, so, good enough.
Thankfully we didn't have those pitched battles in the streets; except for some leftover "occupy" crap and some Detroit rioting over Michigan's new "right to work" laws.
We are somewhat surprised that Israel has shown such remarkable restraint in not attacking Iran and possibly starting World War III. And so far the religious nutbars who run Iran are still sane enough to know that interfering with the free flow of energy will mean the end of them. So even though we were wrong on that one, we are damn glad of it, believe us.
As this is being written it has been announced that the United States will indeed go over the "fiscal cliff" at midnight. But "negotiations" are still going on, and if the Republicans drop the soap again, they could vote on a "compromise" that gives the Democrat Party everything they want.
Well, not everything. Early on in all this "fiscal cliff" business, Obama sent TurboTax Timmy Geithner to Speaker Boehner and Senate Minority Leader McConnell with a demand that the House cede its power to decide whether or not to raise the national "debt ceiling" to Obama. TurboTax Timmy was laughed out of the room.
Of course, there have been not a few Second Amendment issues arising this past year; many of them in the last few weeks. However we have promised not to discuss them until after the New Year has begun, so we will end our review of 2012 here. Watch this space on January 2nd.
THE 2012 IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD
Every year we here at the Alexandria Daily Poop go through a list of people we have met in the course of our day job of driving a taxicab; and from these we select the "Idiot of the Year".
Unlike other "Idiot of the Year" awards, this award goes not to some national dipshit but to a common, everyday citizen. We give this award because we feel that it is idiocy on the small level that fuels and enables idiocy on the large level. Idiotic television shows like that "Honey Boo-Boo" nonsense are on TV because idiots watch them. The idiot politicians who control the government at the state, local and federal levels are there because common idiots voted for them, or failed to vote against them for some idiotic reason. Idiocy on the small scale, like a match to kindling, can ignite a firestorm of truly horrific idiot thinking and behavior.
Once in a blue moon we may decide to name as a recipient someone or some entity or group that we have not personally interacted with on the job, as last year when Time Magazine (and everyone connected with it) got the award for nominating "The Protestor" as "Person of the Year". (Ironically, since this blog is a total protest against damn near everything, I am a recipient of the very award I heaped scorn on. If there's any cash involved, I have yet to recieve it. And by the way, it's my SECOND award for Time's "Person of the Year" since one year the cover had a Mylar mirror and the recipient was "YOU". How fucking lame.)
This year, I was sorely tempted to give the award to another bunch of people I have never personally met. In yesterday's post, I commented on the pack of idiot road warriors who call themselves "Mischief". I had contemplated giving them the dishonors, and then maybe a dishonorable mention. However, such a mention or even the full award would be wholly inadequate to the purpose of displaying them as an example of idiocy. Awarding these morons with "Idiot of the Year" would be the equivalent in infamy to awarding a soldier who singlehandedly took out eight enemy machine gun nests, saved his entire divison and won the war, with a "Good Conduct" medal. What these shitheads need is for a judge to throw the book at them, with at least a year in the pokey and permanent revocation of their driving priveleges.
Having said that, there are times when the supply of common everyday idiots seems to be in short supply. But then I experience a deluge. Such was the case this year. One candidate in February, then nothing until I met a guy driving a BMW and wearing an expensive suit who asked me to interpret a set of signs regulating parking for him. I thought I would be stuck with that lamebrain - who being an obvious Ivy Leaguer apparently needed a product of the Northern Virginia Community College Criminal Justice program to tell him what plain English means - as the 2012 awardee. Then, just after the election, I met the winner.
As in every year, a brief description of the qualifications for this award follows.
Candidates for the Alexandria Daily Poop Idiot of the year MUST (unless a waiver is made by the Editor):
Be someone I have met in the course of my attempt to make a living driving a taxicab in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan Area.
In my presence do, say, or brag about something they have said or done which; when considered in the light of their level of supposed intelligence, education, and station in life is spectacularly and amazingly stupid.
No person who is clinically insane, retarded, or otherwise mentally deficient through no fault of their own shall be considered for this "award".
No person who is intoxicated at the time of my encounter with them shall be considered, as we hold alcohol and drugs to be "performance enhancers" in the "competition" to be Idiot of the Year. Boasts made when sober about deeds done when intoxicated, however, still qualify.
Having said that, it is time to announce our winner. Considering the financial mess we have been in for what seems to be time-out-of-mind, this year's recipient is particularly apt. SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, WE PRESENT YOU WITH THE RECIPIENT OF THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP'S UNCOVETED AWARD
BACK IN NOVEMBER, about a week after the elections, I had a young man of about 22 years flag me down. He was going to George Washington University where, he told me, he was studying economics. We had a conversation that included the problem of inflation.
This student of the economy told me that in his opinion, inflation would never be as serious a problem as everyone says it is because - quote - "We can always print more money to make up for it."
Someone PLEASE tell me they know this moron and he's flunking. GW grads often go on to be Very Important People in their fields, but this idiot could do major damage to the nation if he ever got a position as Comptroller of Peckerwood Hollow, WVa.
AND SO, MISTER BLOW-OPEN-THE-LEVEES-SO-THE FLOOD-WILL-SUBSIDE, You are the recipient of the distinct dishonor of the Alexandria Daily Poop's annual award of
IDIOT OF THE YEAR 2012!!
As always, the "Prize" is my suggestion to you that you hurry down to GW Hospital and get a vasectomy so you don't sire another generation of fucking imbeciles. You are an idiot.
PREDICTIONS FOR 2013
This year, I'm playing it safe.
Spring will arrive sometime between mid-March and early April. Daylight will come earlier and dusk will come later until the summer solstice, when daylight will begin to wane.
Other than that, I just don't know what might happen. There is one thing I should tell you: Auld acquaintance should never be forgot. As the saying goes, those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it.
A very Happy and Prosperous New Year (in spite of everything) from the ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP.