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Monday, November 29, 2010

THE WIKILEAKERS

THERE IS A SIMPERING FAGGOTTY AUSTRALIAN SISSY SOMEWHERE ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET WHO DESIRES TO BRING THE uNITED sTATES DOWN. This asshole is the founder of "WikiLeaks", the website which has dumped thousands of pages of classified United States government correspondence into the public domain.

We are quite sure you have heard of this siituation.

Long story short: Mr. "WikiLeaks" needs to be found dead in some public place where he wil be discovered by some jogger; with his genitals cut off and stuffed in his fucking mouth with his tiny dick sticking out.

Hey, CIA. I volunteer for the job. Let's talk about it.......

Thursday, November 25, 2010

THANKSGIVING 2010

NO AMERICAN PUBLICATION WORTHY OF THE TITLE WOULD LET THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY PASS WITHOUT SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THE OCCASION. WE HERE AT THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP HOPE YOU WERE ABLE TO SPEND THE DAY WITH LOVED ONES AND ENGAGE IN THE TRADITIONAL FEASTING.

As for us, our parents have passed on, and the family is scattered, so we dined on a rather overpriced buffet and are about to turn on a football game and fall asleep watching it. Tradition, don't you know.

While we have much to be thankful for - among them the outcome of the recent elections - we find that we are most thankful for our woes and ills, our heartaches and our pains. Not so much because we enjoy the effects of these things, but rather that the particular basket of trials we have been subjected to is not the worst possible by a long shot. As the saying goes. I was sad because I had no shoes until I met an man who had no feet.

(What the saying doesn't tell you is the man with no feet lost his feet due to frostbite, because he didn't have any shoes, but whatever.)

Happy Thanksgiving.

Friday, November 19, 2010

WHERE DO WE BEGIN?

Honestly, dear readers, so much has been happening recently that we have been having a hard time figuring out what to comment on. Not only that, but by the time we have found time to issue a post, the situation has taken a new twist. Fourteen hours of driving a taxi for a living leaves us precious little time, so right now we are going to try to play a little catchup on the following:

DEMOCRAT REPRESENTATIVE CHARLES RANGEL, who was recommended for censure; who stood in the House Well and tearfully begged mercy from his colleagues. This from the man who has for years written the Nation's tax laws as head of what they like to call "the powerful House Ways and Means Committee". (The Obamacare bill by the way originated in that committee, and - just as we predicted in this Blog - now that the "individual mandate" is being challenged in court as an abuse of the "Interstate Commerce Clause", the Ratz are indeed trying to cite the taxing power of the Congress as their authority for it.) But the tax laws he burdened the common citizen with were not for him, or so he thought. Censured? He should be arrested.

AIRPORT SECURITY SEARCHES, which entail the choice of either having someone being able to see your naked body (while being zapped with X-rays into the bargain) OR being felt up most intimately. This is done to ordinary schmoes in the name of preventing reliance on "profiling". How singling someone out because he or she exhibits a certain pattern of characteristics and/or behaviors is worse than letting an adult stranger feel around a 12-year-old kid's genitals sure does beat us, but sundry government officials assure us that this is indeed the case. Sounds like BULLSHIT to us.

DEFUNDING PUBLIC BROADCASTING is an idea whose time has come. NPR's infamous firing of Juan Williams was the last straw for most of us, but more than that; "Non-Commercial Public Broadcasting" has for years been running what are in- all-but-name advertisments for various businesses, complete with short descriptions of their products. Common citizens are acknowledged as "viewers like you". Which is strange, since viewers like me flip the channel when they start begging for money. Let 'em sink or swim like everybody else.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

SENATOR RAND PAUL (R-KENTUCKY)

OF ALL THE INDIVIDUAL VICTORIES IN THE RECENT ELECTION, PERHAPS NONE IS MORE SIGNIFIGANT THAN THAT OF RAND PAUL.

Paul is first and foremost a defender of the Constitution. In his acceptance speech he made no bones about the fact that he believes, as do we at the Alexandria Daily Poop, that the mission of the new House majority and the Senators newly elected is to restore the rule of law and a newfound respect for the Constitution. This must take place in the Halls of our Congress. We the people are growing rapidly exaspirated with the simpering elitist fools who hide behind "minority" or other status, claiming the title of "victim" even as they atte,pt to take over and rule those of us whom they see as their "intellectual inferiors".

Paul was derided by the Left when some of his supporters, encountering a timorous, smug woman carrying a snide sign into a Paul rally, shoved the woman to the ground and gave her a couple kicks to the head. Maybe not the most civilized thing to do, but necessary.

Had this election not come out the way it did, we believe civil war was just around the corner. The Paul supporters who beat that idiot woman were expressing the exasperation felt by more than half of our nation at her ilk. More patriots need to smack around more traitors, in our opinion.

The incident, please note, did not keep Paul from being elected.

Paul's victory speech put the Senate on notice. They have recieved a firebrand for freedom. Respect for the Constitution must be restored among these legislators who think they can do whatever they want, knowing that the cost of legal challenges will likely give their illegal legislation time to "set" like a dog-poop stain in a silk shirt. The end of this attitude, God willing, has come in the personage of Senator Rand Paul, Kentucky Republican.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

VICTORY 2010!!!

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, POWERED BY THE ENERGY PROVIDED BY THE POLITICAL SUB-CULTURE KNOWN AS THE "TEA PARTY", WRESTED CONTROL OF THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES YESTERDAY. By the time everything gets sorted, Republicans might have as many as nine more seats in the Senate, to boot. If a seat won by a Democrat is a close call, a recount could hand the Republicans the magic tenth seat and control of that body, too.

Here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we are somewhat dismayed that the foul-mouthed Jew-hating wife-beating little Black kid-abusing drunk Jim "Bugs" Moran is still our representative in Congress. (In a truly appalling action, Moran, upon spotting a volunteer for his opponent handing out campaign literature at a Metro station on Monday, launched an obscene rant at the Murray rep. What a jerk).

But overall, a great day for freedom. There is a lot of talk about Obama's veto power, but right now those Democrats left standing will need to think about what will happen in 2012 before they decline to help override those vetoes. And in any case the Republicans now have the power of the subpoena and all the Committee Chairs. So at a minimum, they can turn on a little stopping power.

Now if only they can find some reason to impeach Biden, select a TEA party approved Veep, and THEN impeach Obama, giving us a Republican President. (Shut up. We reserve the right to dream.)

If I could offer but one word of advice to the incoming Republicans, it would be this: ALWAYS REMEMBER that Democrats define "Bipartisanship" as "Republicans drop the soap in the shower". So don't drop the soap.
Sweet victory. Good luck.

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