With this last post of the year I am announcing the "Winner" of the Idiot of the Year Contest. Here's how it works:
Every month I select the worst idiot I have met in the course of driving the hack. The qualifications are as follows: The candidate must be a normal person of average or above intelligence. Retards, mental cases, etc cannot help it, and this is NOT a great honor. The candidate cannot be drunk, because in the competition for Idiot of the Year, alcohol is a performance-enhancing drug.
The stupidity demonstrated must be truly stupendous and patently incommensurate with the intelligence and standing of the candidate.
Simple stupid driving does not qualify; if it did i would have too many candidates. Egregious road-raging, as with this year's winner however, does.
AND NOW THE WINNER OF "IDIOT OF THE YEAR". The winner is:
Last month I was going eastbound on West Braddock Road. An SUV ahead was turning left, so I had to stop. Some idiot behind me was blowing his horn, and when the SUV cleared the roadway he blasted again as I began to proceed. So I slammed on the brakes. And he blasted the horn yet again. THEN he began following me. I became a bit concerned so I turned down several side streets and sure enough, he kept on my tail. So I proceeded to the King Street Metro with the candidate in tow. He parked behind me on the taxi stand for abot 30 seconds and then pulled up alongside me, showing me his cell-phone and unleashing an obscenity-laced tirade about how he was "reporting" me to the "dispatcher". It was then I noticed the 6-year-old kid in the back seat. So I told him what a clas act he was putting on for the kid to follow and told him I was going to report him to Child Protective Services, whereupon he turned pale and got the hell outta there.
AND SO, MISTER ROAD RAGER, WHOEVER YOU ARE; BEC AUSE you act like a child when you don't get your way;
BECAUSE even though you were in such a goddamned hurry, you still found time to chase me around;
BECAUSE in so doing you did not know me, did not know if i might be armed, etc;
BECAUSE in so doing you potentially endangered not just your self, but a young child;
BECAUSE additionally you provided an horrible example for that child;
BECAUSE your stupendous ego is obviously of more importance to you than your own safety not to mention that of said child;
YOU, MISTER ROAD RAGER, ARE OFFICIALLY THE 2009
IDIOT OF THE YEAR!!!!
Now go suck a donkey dick, you fucking jerk.
Happy New Year to everyone else!