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Wednesday, December 13, 2017

CORRUPT DEMOCRAT SLEDGEHAMMER SLAMS ALABAMA SPECIAL ELECTION


As we write this, various political commentators are (and have been all day) picking apart the election held yesterday in Alabama to fill the Senate seat opened by the departure of Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions as he took the post of United States Attorney General.  Republican Roy Moore lost to his opponent Democrat Doug Jones by a razor thin margin. Moore has not conceded and states that he will request a recount.


The Republican primary for this election was won by Judge Roy Moore.  With a Republican poised to give Republicans 52 seats in the Senate, the Democrat smear machine kicked into overdrive. within weeks it was found that Moore in his 30s apparently had a taste for romancing teenagers who were older than Alabama's legal "age of consent" of 16.  Then and under dubious circumstances a woman was found who claimed she had been "sexually assaulted" by Moore when she was 14 years of age. Although the criminal and civil statutes of limitation have since expired, such an act would have been considered a serious felony under Alabama law.

All hell broke loose.

We will not here recount every last detail of this story as we are sure it has been discussed to death. But it has been our position here at the Alexandria Daily Poop that since there had been no outcry for 40 years until Moore looked poised to take a seat in the Senate, this fact alone in our opinion puts this woman's story in grave doubt. Moore's admission of his penchant for teenagers as a 30 year old however gave just enough credence to the story to add fuel to the fire. The Democrat hatchet men went looking for more stories.  

Some of these stories were quite salacious, but most were false involving for instance an incident in a parking lot which parking lot never existed. One woman however claimed Moore had signed her high school yearbook and had written some semi-sleazy comment there. When Moore denied having done this and when Republicans began demanding an independent handwriting analysis, famous political ambulance chaser and professional public spectacle Gloria Alred inserted herself into the case.

Despite Alred's interference, the woman was forced to admit she had forged Moore's writings beneath his signature. This event in our opinion put the stake in the heart of this smear. But the Democrats found an ally in - of all people - a Republican.

Senator Richard Shelby, concerned about the "child molestor' label that Democrats would hang on every Republican who supported Moore urged Alabamans to write in "a Republican" without naming any one specific one. This quote found its way into ads by Democrat front groups, some purporting to be "concerned Republicans".   When the votes were tallied, the margin of victory closely matched the write-in votes. 

One Senate seat can be of enormous consequence. This election was isolated and this enabled the full force of the Democrat political machine to be concentrated on one state.  Even so, the only reason Roy Moore is not the Senator-Elect today is because the Democrats got the other Republican senator scrambling to avoid a perceived stain on the reputation of the Party. 

We believe that to avoid Senate elections which become public circuses, the 17th Amendment to our Constitution ought to be repealed and Senators rather be elected as prescribed originally: by the State legislatures, who would had this been in effect yesterday been able to recall an errant Senator at will. Smear campaigns would be less effective and the general public would have more incentive to take an interest in their State legislatures. It is damn time that it be made much more difficult for people from out of state to whip the residents of a state into a frenzy in order to get a Senator more to the liking of any one national group into office..

Saturday, December 9, 2017

PEARL HARBOR DAY: 76TH ANNIVERSARY

Two days ago came the 76th Anniversary of the Japanese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor which threw the United States headlong into the deadliest conflict the world has ever seen. 

Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto was the architect of the attack, which he objected to; saying "I can run wild in the South Pacific for six months. After that..." 

Yamamoto knew whereof he spoke. He was American educated at Harvard and had seen the expanse of this nation and its resources. He also knew the American character. Nevertheless he followed his orders and carried out the dastardly deed. 

We declared war on Japan, and in response Hitler and Mussolini declared war on us (although the treaty under which Hitler declared war only required him to do so if Japan were attacked by us).

During the course of the war we found out where Yamamoto was going to be on a date certain and sent a squadron of American P-38 fighters after his plane. They caught up to him somewhere around Bougaineville and Isoroku Yamamoto wound up burning to death in the shot-up wreckage of his Mitsubishi "Betty" bomber/transport.

In May of 1944, about 6 months short of four years after Pearl Harbor we and our allies accepted the unconditional surrender of Nazi Germany. Three months and two very famous nuclear detonations later Japan gave up. 

Sixty years later, on September 11 2001 we were again attacked by surprise, with the death toll being approximately the same. This present war has lasted much longer than four years, mostly because a pack of hand-wringing wimps has managed to prolong it by emphasizing the need to avoid insulting THE ENEMY. 

Here's an idea: treat the present enemy like we treated the enemy in 1941. THEN after we beat them into submission maybe we could be pals, like we are with Japan today. But not before, and don't give me that crap about how we can't do that anymore. This is war, and these hand=wringing wimps are seditionists at best. Lock them up and then get busy cleaning up. 

(We apologize for not posting this on December 7th, but circumstances prevented it.)

Sunday, November 26, 2017

A TRULY AWESOME GOD!

Today I was reading the Bible about King Hezikiah being at the point of death having asked the prophet Isaiah to plead with the LORD to extend his life. The LORD agreed to extend Hezekiah's life by fifteen more years; and as evidence offered to turn the shadow of the sundial back fifteen degrees (about half an hour)  and then did so. 

Now, if God had accomplished this by bringing the earth to a sudden stop, backing up its rotation on its axis by half an hour, stopping it yet again and speeding it up to normal again; the lawyers would still be trying to come up with some way of suing Him for whiplash and property damage.  

Now there are lots of Christians who think that God simply suspended the Laws of Physics to accomplish this (and this is not the only time in the Bible that God made time to stand still, advance or reverse; and surely He is capable of anything). 

However we believe that God simply took hold of the entire rest of the universe and moved it around the Earth until the sun had backed up half an hour's worth.  And He said it was a minor thing to Him. 

Our God is an awesome God, and worthy to be praised.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

THANKSGIVING 2017

NOVEMBER 23 2017
2227 HOURS

I worked/catnapped from about 6 yesterday morning until about noon today and did okay; about three hundred something. I had planned something special for this year: the Golden Corral buffet, which I have heard is pretty good. But I got there just at 4:30 PM and they had just closed. This is too bad since I had to drive more than 40 miles to get there (it's in Fredericksburg). Rats. So Thanksgiving dinner was a turkey and stuffing bowl at the Fredericksburg WaWa.  Not bad but still...

I did get a chance to estimate how early I'd have to rise if I moved to Dumfries as I am planning to. It'd be at least an hour's commute. But on the flip side it's much more rural than this traffic clogged mess I make my living in. 

I started out pissed off as hell at the boneheads who run Alexandria and are ruining the taxi industry with all their so-called "improvements". But over dinner - which I ate in the cab - I realized once I counted my blessings that I really on the whole and all things considered don't have all that much to bitch about.

This post was going to be a lot longer and more thoughtful. But I am tired, folks, and need my beauty sleep. 

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving and no arguments about the stupid politics for just one day. The old tryptophan is kicking in now. As Red Skelton used to say: "Good night, and may God bless".

Monday, November 13, 2017

THE PHONY "MOORE SCANDAL"

Despite the current Democrat dancing in celebration of the apparent success of that Party's efforts to turn the Commonwealth "Blue", nationally they are reeling from reports of Hillary Clinton's perfidy and a plethora of other ills coming to light. 

Elsewhere in the nation the Dems are losing big. And it would be a major blow to the Democrat Party to have the likes of Judge Roy Moore elected to the United States Senate, which until last week he seemed poised to attain by a landslide. 

Then - Oh, Miracle of Miracles - a now 50ish woman has come forward with claims that Moore made "sexual advances" toward her when she was 14. 

As "Church Lady" Dana Carvey used to say: "Well. Isn't that con-VEEN-ient?"

Too damn convenient to pass the smell test. She said she told her momma and they both have been living in fear of the powerful Judge Moore for the last 40 years. But NOW, when Moore is at the peak of his power, they blabber to the press??

And "establishment Republicans" (who have a vested interest in protecting their little club) have chimed in with their Democrat "enemies" in calling for Moore to step down. Several of them have even gone so far as to say that the "burden of proof" is on Judge Moore to prove this scurrilous accusation is false. 

This allegation is as transparent as the toilet paper in an Amtrak station restroom, which is where it belongs.  

Alabamans, vote Roy Moore for United States Senator from Alabama. We wonder how many hundred dollar bills James Carville had to drag through Alabama before he came up with this bimbo.


Friday, November 10, 2017

A LITTLE HUMOR ABOUT OUR SERVICE SONGS

You guys know about our service songs. I think the Marines have the coolest one: You know, the one about fighting "From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli" and being "First to fight". Hell. Is there anything in the world of military music more stirring than "Semper Fidelis" or "The Stars and Stripes Forever"? You had John Philip Sousa. Marine Corps martial music is indeed the world's finest.

The Army's service song is great, too; although it was originally "The Caissons go Rolling Along". Evidently nobody knows what a "cassion" is anymore (It's a horsedrawn artillery ammo chest) however; so now it's the Army that goes rolling along. 

I can't say I see anything overtly military about the Navy's theme "Anchors Away", but it does take some 'nads to hoist anchor and go sailing into harm's way. 

Which brings us it would seem to the anthem of MY branch, the United States Air Force. 

The anthem, "Wild Blue Yonder" happens to be the only service anthem that mentions the possibility of DEFEAT!

According to that gem of martial musicianship, we go off "into the sun" and "give 'em the gun".  Then we "rise to fame OR GO DOWN IN FLAMES!" (but nothing can stop us). Cheese and rice. 

Nothing in the Navy anthem about a submarine sinking. Nothing in the Army song about cassions getting stuck in the mud. And certainly nothing about Marines falling overboard. But here in the middle of MY services' song is a line about an airplane GOING DOWN IN FLAMES. Cheeze Louise. 

Oh well. HAPPY VETERANS DAY, MY FELLOW WARRIORS!

VETERANS' DAY 2017

A special shout out to my fellow veterans today.

 November 11 marks the day when an Armistice was signed between the Allies and the Central Powers of Europe during World War I. That war; fought using 19th Century Napoleonic tactics of massed troop formations facing off massed troop formations but using modern weaponry like heavy machine guns, tanks, aircraft and even poison gas; was one of the worst slaughters in the annals of human warfare. That war was not ended by the Armistice. The "War to End All Wars" never really ended and is being fought to this day. The Armistice simply hit the "pause" button.

That pause was used by Lenin and his Communists to win the Bolshevik Revolution with the fall of St. Petersburg.  And in Germany, the humiliating and harsh conditions of surrender imposed by the Allies resulted in a frustrated sense of nationalism wronged. Into the vacuum of the German national soul stepped one Adolf Hitler. On September 1 1939 Hitler sparked what we call "World War II" (but what we think is more properly called "The World War, Part II") with his invasion of Poland. He had made alliances with the Japanese, too; and when Japan attacked the United States on December 7th 1941, WW II became a truly global conflagration, the first in history. 

Less than three years after Pearl Harbor, Allied troops landed at Normandy. A few weeks shy of a year later, Berlin and most of Germany lay in smoking ruins. By the end of the summer of 1945, the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki lay in ruins too, the results of two single bombs of a new and terrible design. Part II of the World War ended with the utter defeat of the two most monstrous tyrannies the world had ever known. It was scarcely over before Part III (The Cold War) began. 

Russia was eager to grab as much real estate as possible and turn those living there into vassals. Germany was split into two parts, one free and one Communist (and the Soviets, being not "antinazi" but rather the political kinsmen of National Socialists kept elements of the Gestapo, Kripo, Ordpo, and SS but re-trained them and renamed them the Vopo and the Stassi). The Allies - particularly America - grabbed the cream of German weapons scientists and drew the line of Soviet expansion at the Fulda Gap of the Alps. 

The Cold War got white-hot in "proxy wars" fought in Laos, Cambodia and most importantly Korea and Vietnam. Vietnam was lost not due to the United States forces being beaten but by politicians in the United States demanding our withdrawal and declining to support the forces of Freedom. Korea was fought to a standstill and the fighting was stopped by a shaky but thus far still standing Armistice (like the one that was signed at the beginning of all this tumult.)

Sometime toward the fall of Communism the Soviets decided to invade Afghanistan. It was the worst mistake they ever made. The Afghans fought like the irregular troops of the Continental Army during our Revolution, using ambush tactics and U.S. supplied weapons to waylay and harass the Soviets. Their humiliated pullout emboldened the Polish people to rally behind their fellow citizens Pope John Paul the Great and Lech Walensa. This solidarity caught fire, and by the late 1980s we who were told in our youth that we would never see the "Berlin Wall" fall in our lifetimes watched on television as mobs of young Germans - no longer "East" or "West" Germans - took sledgehammers to that damned barrier.  The Hammer and Sickle was ripped down and replaced by the Russian Tricolor.

Still it wasn't over. The World War part IV was about to begin. 

The Soviet occupation of Afghanistan gave rise to two main groups: The Northern Alliance, who cared less about establishing a theocracy; and the Pakistani Taliban, who wanted to establish a Salafist Islamic theocracy globally. After years of fighting, the leader of the Northern Alliance was slain in what would turn out to be the beginning of the World War part IV. The next day, the United States of America were attacked in the first act of Part IV. The World War Part IV continues to this day. Every day new veterans are minted. These veterans can proudly trace their heritage to Concord Bridge, up through D-Day  and VE and VJ day through the Siege of Baghdad and the demise of Osama bin Laden. We all of us have been fighting a never ending battle against the forces of evil and tyranny since before the founding of these United States. And for all this fighting and killing and dying still it must be said of every military man of this blessed nation that the bringing about of peace and freedom is what he or she is working and hoping for. 

PEACE IS AND WAS OUR PROFESSION. But we will not have "peace at any price". The peace of surrender to tyrants and despots is a peace paid for by subjugation to Satan himself. Let him who would enslave the globe know that American bayonets await his throat. My fellow veterans, you are magnificent. 


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

VIRGINIA TURNS BLUE DUE TO LACK OF POLITICAL OXYGEN

Here in the Old Dominion we've been flooded with libtard idiots, felons with newly minted restored voting rights, and illegal aliens at least one of which reported herself for voting unlawfully after (she alleged) she discovered what she did was illegal.

This Blessed Commonwealth had been reliably Republican for decades, having gone Democrat for the election of Lyndon Johnson but thereafter was solidly Republican until the election of Barack Hussein Obama. Since that time Virginia has been Democrat except for the election of Bob McDonnell, who was elected to turn on some stopping power to Tim Kaine's shenannigans 

Democrat Tim Kaine was Governor when Barack Obama was elected to the White House. Kaine immediately began acting as Obama's butt boy, implementing efforts to bring more and more illegal aliens into the Commonwealth and stymieing and denouncing the efforts of especially Prince William County to stem the tide. 

The citizens of Virginia elected Bob McDonnell to put the brakes on. Democrat party hacks dug up and put together a paper-thin bribery case for the purpose of smearing the Republican party enough to get notorious carpetbagging piece of shit Terry McAuliffe elected as Governor (McDonnell's convictions were thrown out by the Supreme Court, but by then it was too late). 

Eight years of two Obama Administrations and six years of collaborating Democrat governors resulted in the Commonwealth being flooded with thousands of Democrat operatives and flunkies. These deliberately worked to make life hell for anyone who voiced dissent to the Democrat party line in the workplace. Places where people congregated became dangerous places to voice opposition to the Democrat machine. Meanwhile McAuliffe embarked on an effort to restore the voting rights of felons. Although McAuliffe tried issuing a blanket restore, the laws of the Commonwealth required individual consideration of each case. This partially succeeded in stopping hundreds of thousands of Democrat favoring felons from voting. But on November 7th, it proved to be not enough. 

Donald Trump had not been in office anywhere near long enough to replace Obama's people with his own; and the fanatic hatred of the extreme wing of the Democrat Party for Trump added propellant to the efforts to defeat the candidate the Republicans ran for Governor: Don Gillespie; who ran a rather half assed and milquetoastish campaign against Ralph Northam, who Virginia is now stuck with as our next Governor. 

The Democrats, in fact just about ran the table in Northern Virginia. They may wind up with de facto control of the House of Delegates. This creates a dire situation for the Commonwealth. But we see much hope.

Trump must move quickly to see HIS worker bees move into Virginia and speed Obama's minions' departure. He needs to cleanse the National Capital Area of illegals, especially the MS-13 gangsters who are getting bolder every day.

If Trump does this and can lead his party to get some key things done by summer, the mid-terms can wind up being a massive gain for Republicans. Virginia could be solid red again by November of next year.

Let's hope so.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

DEMOCRATS AND ASPS IN FULL BLOWN MELTDOWN AFTER GENERAL KELLY EXPLAINS PRESIDENT TRUMP'S CONVERSATION WITH SLAIN SOLDIER'S WIDOW AND PUTS CONGRESSWOMAN WILLIAMS IN HER PLACE

Before we begin, let us say that the image of a white Marine general putting a black Congresswoman "in her place" could easily be construed as "racist". We don't care. Ms. Williams was out of ANYONE'S place when she listened in on a call placed by the President of the United States to the widow of a man who gave his life in our common defense. 

Congresswoman Frederica Williams is one screwy character. Our beloved DC area talk show host Chris Plante suggested she change her name to "Kookie Mc Kookbutt"; and we quite agree. Williams is in our view loopier than Maxine Waters, and that's a high bar to jump. 

The main theme of Williams' complaint about Trump is that he told the slain man's widow that "He' (her husband) 'knew what he signed up for".  She also claimed that President Trump was "sarcastic" and mocking in his tone of voice when he said it.

SO It was left to General Kelly, the White House Chief Of Staff to inform the yapping Leftist lap-dogs in the media that he, Kelly, had personally advised Trump what to say. And Kelly has had a son die in our common defense, and he knows military protocol toward the surviving family. He also referred to Congresswoman Williams as an "empty barrel" which makes lots of noise. 

Kelly's address to the White House Press Corps left them stunned and no one challenged him. Why?

Because, apparently, the media had to get together and pow-wow some talking points with the Congresswoman. In short order it was being claimed that "empty barrel" was a "racist term" and that the White House had people following Ms. Willaims around. This prompted Ms. Willaims to announce that she was a "rock star".

Kelly was then denounced by late night hosts Kimmel and Fallon as a "racist", a theme picked up by Hillary Clinton and others. 

And so it continues. The Left can't help but show their true colors, and the American People now see them flying above the crow's nest. And it's a good thing. 

Know what we'd like to see? A televised debate between kook Congresswoman Williams and Alexandria's own White Nationalist leader "Picky Ricky" Spencer.  Popcorn sales would go through the roof, and the popcorn farmers would benefit. Have to put it on Comedy Central, though...

Friday, October 13, 2017

DOUBLE DIPPER: BOY SCOUTS TO ADMIT GIRLS; STUPID ASS ARGUMENTS FOR "GUN CONTROL"

Gentle readers, we wish we could write every day, but we are constrained by the fact that; unlike most of the ASPs we have to make a living without recourse to handouts; which means we must WORK. And we put in some serious hours, too: 12 to 14 EVERY DAMN DAY INCLUDING HOLIDAYS. So today we're doing a "twofer".  First up:

IDIOT BOY SCOUT NATIONAL COUNCIL VOTES UNANIMOUSLY TO ADMIT GIRLS.

Seriously, folks, what is with these numbskulls? First gay kids, then gay adult leaders, THEN "transgenders". AND NOW GIRLS? (Are Junior Lesbos ok?)

The reason given for the decision was that "membership has declined by about a third over the last few years". Really?

WELL NO GODDAMN WONDER YOU FUCKING NUMB NUTS! "THE LAST FEW YEARS" ARE THE YEARS YOU SUCCUMBED TO ALL THE PRESSURE FROM THE LEFT AND GOT PARENTS WORRIED ABOUT LEAVING THEIR KID WITH PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO BE THINKING ABOUT GIVING A MERIT BADGE FOR ADVANCED SODOMY.  

Well, congratulations. I doubt even California has enough whack-a-doodle-doos to sustain more than a few troops based on the insane policies you've been bullied into by the pervert Left. There are some who say that girls "deserve the opportunity" to become vested with the prestigious rank of Eagle Scout; which males have for decades found looks great on one's resume'. But by the time y'all finish fucking up the Scouts, that Eagle badge won't mean a damn thing, even if you upgrade it to a neck order. Thanks for destroying a piece of America. Idiots.

Next up:

STUPID ASS ARGUMENTS FOR "GUN CONTROL"

Almost all arguments put forth by the ASPs and the rest of the anti gun crowd fit this description, but here's a few snappy answers to the dumbest of them:

"THE SECOND AMENDMENT WAS WRITTEN TO PROTECT THE KEEPING AND BEARING OF SINGLE-SHOT MUZZLE LOADING FLINTLOCKS"
AND
"THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE THE CONSTITUTION COULD NOT HAVE FORESEEN MODERN WEAPONRY"
AND
"OKAY, SO I GUESS WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR FLAMETHROWERS AND BAZOOKAS. I GUESS I HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE A HYDROGEN BOMB!"

(1) The term "arms" in the Second Amendment means everything up to and including the weapons issued to a modern Light Infantryman. Then it was a flintlock and a bayonet. Today it's a select-fire assault rifle. 

(2) They could not have foreseen TV, the radio, movies and the Internet, either. So do you think we should limit freedom of the press to mimeographed pamphlets?

(3)No, idiot. Flamethrowers and bazookas are specialized weapons not generally issued to every soldier. And neither, of course, is a hydrogen bomb. Stupid ass. 

Hope this gives you some power to deal with the idiots who try to brainwash folks with the idiocy of the Left.


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

AS USUAL, THE ANTI-GUN LEFT STARTS UP WITH POLITICS BEFORE THE BODIES ARE COOL

Yes, good readers; in the wake of the horrendous slaughter in Las Vegas the American Statist Progressives wasted no time in stirring up the emotions of as many as possible in an attempt to get "emergency legislation" passed. 

Even as this is being written we still do not feel we have enough facts to write in detail about this. The Left is far less concerned with the facts and as with every single shooting is going to milk it to the max to try to get pressure on for the passage of ill considered legislation.

One thing we DO know is that the ASPs have marshaled ever resource they have, including "progressive" clergymen with their own agendas. A group of these met at Washington National Cathedral, and some schlemiel of a rabbi intoned that the common denominator of the killers was "Not income or political affiliation...Nor mental health nor zip code.. but GUNS! GUNS, GUNS, GUNS!" We would like to address this rabbi:

Hey, Mr. Clergyman! guess what you left out? THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IS EVIL, WHICH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH. 

Funny how nobody wants to deal with good and evil, isn't it?

Friday, September 22, 2017

SEPTEMBER 23RD 2017: RELAX, FOLKS, THE PLANET WON'T EXPLODE TOMORROW

We have been hearing comments about tomorrow bringing dire events on the Planet Earth. Relax.

The first comment was that some "mystery planet" would collide with ours. That's a lot of hooey (rhymes with "phooey"). I guess since the Weekly World News went out of business (do we ever miss Ed Anger!) the folks peddling imminent catastrophe and "Bible foods to keep you young" have turned to the Internet to peddle their garbage. 

The second comment may have some actual Biblical significance, such as heralding the onset of the "Tribulation" which will precede Armageddon. It concerns a constellation and the planetary motions around it which seem to recap the story of the Virgin Mary, the birth of Jesus, and Satan's attempt to destroy Jesus before he could complete His sacrificial mission. In the end, the constellation representing Satan throws one third of the stars to Earth (symbolic of the angels who joined Satan in his mutiny against God) and ends with the warning: "Woe to the inhabitants of the Earth! For the Devil has come down to you having great wrath; for he knoweth his time is short". 

The following interpretation of this event is mine alone:

This celestial event is a sign that the end times are coming rapidly. The main event of the end will be an attack on Israel to be carried out by Russia, China, Iran and their allies, of course with Satan urging it all on. Before this will be the reign of the Antichrist and the famous 666 that everyone will have to be marked with to buy food or pay rent. Before that will be the Rapture of the believers out of these troubles. This Rapture might happen tomorrow, or not. But this heavenly sign doesn't mean the world will end tonight.

Only that it's getting very, very close. And one only need to look at the news to confirm that.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

PRESIDENT TRUMP SOCKS IT TO UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY BUT GOOD

Yesterday President Donald John Trump addressed the General Assembly of the United Nations and delivered a speech that knocked the ball out of the park. We didn't comment on it as we wanted to sample the unhinged reactions of the ASPs (American Statist Progressives) to the speech first. The ASPs did not disappoint.

Particularly Trump's excoriation of socialism was treated as a fart at a Holy Communion service. He also called Islamic Extremism by its name as the enemy.  And he warned the Norks that if they continued to follow "Rocket Man" Kim Jong Un that they would share his grave. 

President Trump plainly laid out his position on dealing with threats to America and her allies. We believe that he gave new hope to those in Iran who wish to overthrow the deranged theocrats who bear rule in that benighted nation.

So too bad ASPs. Trump made it plain that these nutball dictatorships have gotten their last free blow job from an American President in a good, long time. 

Hail Trump!

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

TOYS R US EMPLOYEES BEWARE OF THIS BANKRUPTCY SCHEME

If you work for "Toys "R" us particularly in Virginia, you are doubtless aware that the company is filing for bankruptcy protection. They may be about to pull a little scam to screw you out of unemployment benefits. Here's how it works (Magruders pulled this same crap):

They'll tell you that the company is "reorganizing" under Chapter 11 and say that a new company will be formed and in order to b e considered you must resign and re-apply.

WARNING! DO NOT RESIGN! IN VIRGINIA YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO COLLECT UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS IF YOU RESIGN AND IF TOYS ARE US DOES WHAT MAGRUDERS DID THEY WILL WAIT UNTIL EVERYBODY HAS RESIGNED AND SCREWED THEMSELVES OUT OF UNEMPLOYMENT AND OTHER BENEFITS AND THEN CHANGE FROM CHAPTER 11 REORGANIZATION TO STRAIGHT CHAPTER 7 LIQUIDATION.

Do not fall for this dirty trick, and don't believe the suits when they tell you everything's fine. It's not. Be careful and don't resign until you've found something else. Lotsa luck.

ANGRY MOB OF ILLEGALS SHOUTS DOWN NANCY PELOSI FOR WORKING WITH TRUMP

You see, Gentle Readers, we told you so!

Just like in Hunt for Red October, President Trump has turned the torpedo coming for him right back at the enemy, and it has blown up in their faces. Yesterday Nancy Pelosi sought to have a press conference when a mob of illegals showed up and started shouting her down for the crime of having even met with Trump about anything at all. We believe President Trump knew exactly what would happen when he allowed himself to be seen eating and perceived to be negotiating with Pelosi and Schumer. These illegals are largely ignorant and are rightly suspicious that the Democrats are just using them and will toss them under the ICE bus as soon as they are inconvenient.

People, President Trump knows the Democrat playbook, having been one. And he knows how they perceive the "little guys" they are trying to "help". He knew this would happen, and now Pelosi and Schumer are catching hell from these illegals who thought that the Democrats were there to help them. 

Heading 3-1-5! 


Friday, September 15, 2017

TRUMP MAKES HIS HEADING 3-1-5, REPUBLICANS FREAK

Remember the movie "Hunt for Red October"? Sean Connery plays a Russian officer who wants to defect and give a top-secret nuclear ballistic missile sub to the United States. The Soviets guess his game and send an attack sub to destroy both him and Red October. Eventually the attack sub, captained by a young officer who had studied under him at the Soviet Naval Academy, launches a torpedo at Red October. Connery's character instructs the American at the helm to head right into the torpedo, saying: "Make your heading 3-1-5. As the Russians and Americans sweat and count down the seconds to impact, Connery makes small talk. And when the torpedo hits, it does not explode but breaks apart. Connery explains that he knows the other boat's captain as he taught him at the Academy and knew he would set the torpedo to arm itself at a certain point, thus he guided Red October to meet the torpedo head-on before it was armed, destroying it. Later the opposing captain fires again and Connery, knowing he won't make the same mistake twice, executes a series of maneuvers that cause the opposing sub to become the target of the torpedo. The opposing sub is killed by her own weapon.

Similarly, a few days ago President Trump had dinner with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and let it slip that some deals had been made. Most conservative talk hosts and the entire Republican establishment is freaking out. 

Relax, folks.

President Trump knows Pelosi. He knows Schumer. He used to be a Democrat and knows the playbook. And he is well aware that Pelosi and Schumer want to destroy him. 

Let the Captain make the heading 3-1-5. He knows what he's doing.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

CITIZENS AND BUSINESSES REACT TO PLANS TO CHANGE THE NAME OF JEFFERSON DAVIS HIGHWAY IN ALEXANDRIA AND ARLINGTON VIRGINIA

The governing Councils of the City of Alexandria and the County of Arlington in the Commonwealth of Virginia today announced that the portion of U.S. Route 1 running through the two jurisdictions; currently known as Jefferson Davis Highway; will be renamed "Martin Luther King Junior Memorial Highway" pending approval of the State legislature, which is needed for the change to proceed in Arlington. 

We interviewed some residences and businesses along the route of the proposed change. Surprisingly, although the corridor voted overwhelmingly for Obama in 2008 and 2012 and for Clinton in 2016, the residents and business owners were largely not pleased by the development.

Shopkeeper after shopkeeper told our investigators that they were pleased to have their shop located on a route named after such an important icon, but that the costs of changing letterhead and signage would be burdensome. At several of these locations corrugated steel rolldown doors were being installed, having just that day been ordered. Only one merchant was deliriously happy: Harvey's Custom Signs; whose owner Harvey Smithers told us he had been cranking out "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs as fast as he could print them. Smithers, who is African American, told the ADP:

"See, I ain't no fool. I know all these liberal white folks in Del Ray and Crystal City can't stand th' notion of having to tell folks to take a right or a left off of Martin fuckin' Luther King t' get t' they house. So I found out about this yesterday and set up to print out these signs. They cost me a dollar to make and I sell 'em for twenty bucks. So far today I made fifty thousand dollars. And my brother owns a moving company, so I steer people to him.'

'Talk about affordable housing. The politicians gonna have lotsa affordable housing within days of that name change taking effect. My brother and me gonna buy a bunch of it. Then we gonna rent 'em out. Then, when the City realizes that the tax assessments is way down, they greedy asses gonna change the name back and give some lame excuse, and all the whiteys gonna wanna move back an' my brother an' me are gonna like buy houses at $25 thou each and sell 'em back to the whiteys for the three or four hundred grand they paid in the first place. Then we gonna move to someplace where white folks ain't so goddamn crazy."

Mayor Silberberg and the City Manager and Council did not respond to the ADP's request for comments.

Note: ONCE AGAIN THIS IS A SATIRE! However, in this case the possibility of it coming true is all too real.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

CONTROVERSY ERUPTS AFTER ALT RIGHT OBTAINS PERMIT TO ERECT STATUE OF JOHN WILKES BOOTH AT FORD'S THEATER

Washington, D.C.
August 27 2017

City officials in the Nation's Capital are red with embarrassment as they struggle to quash a "special use" building permit obtained by "Alt Right" leader Spencer Richards. The purpose of the permit is to allow the demolition of a souvenir shop across the street from Ford's Theater (and next to the house where President Abraham Lincoln died) in order that a statue memorializing what Richards calls "The alleged" assassin of Lincoln, Confederate sympathizer and actor John Wilkes Booth.

The property was purchased by a "front group" and the Special Use permit stated only that the property was to be used as the site of "a memorial".  

"We just assumed it was gonna be a memorial by some private person, and that the subject of the memorial was going to be President Lincoln' said a D.C. official who declined to be identified.  'I mean, who could have even thought about this crazy-ass shit happening here in the 21st Century? And less than a month after Charlottesville?"

"We just wanted to get the truth out' said Richards when asked why his group had performed such an elaborate ruse. 'Booth didn't shoot Lincoln. Lincoln shot himself, and Booth fled thinking - and rightly so - that he'd be blamed for Lincoln's death".

Richards claims that Booth had only gone to Ford's Theater to deliver a message to Lincoln:

"Lincoln had been drinking heavily during the last few weeks of the war' Richards claimed; 'And Booth went to the Theater to inform the President of the fact that he had freed the slaves whilst he had been drunk. He was carrying a letter informing the President of that fact as he approached the Presidential Box."

Richards produced a copy of the letter, which he claimed had been found in the alley behind Ford's Theater by an unknown person and given to Richard's organization by descendants of that individual, who wish to remain anonymous. The letter reads:

Dear Mr. President:
It is my concern that you did not, by reason of your inebriation, know what you were doing when you freed all the slaves earlier this year. Please reflect on this fact, and rescind your order. Respectfully, JWB.

According to Richards, Booth told Dr. Samuel Mudd that when Lincoln read the letter, he gasped, started and handed the missive back to Booth as he said "I FREED THE WHAT!??!!" Handing the letter back to Booth, Lincoln drew a derringer from his pocket and shot himself in the head. 

As to additional elements to the assassination, Richards claims that Mary Todd Lincoln told Major Rathbone that if Lincoln's death were deemed a suicide, she would be ineligible to benefit from the multimillion dollar life insurance policy on Lincoln's life. So Rathbone stabbed himself with a dagger and threw it into the alley where Booth was escaping. 

The other alleged "conspirators", claims Richards, were people Booth knew and were only coincidentally involved with incidents erroneously tied to the assassination. George Atzerott was only trying to burglarize Vice President Johnson's hotel suite; and Louis Paine attempted to kill Secretary of State Seward for drugging his 12 year old niece with laudanum and molesting her in the woods in what is now Rock Creek Park. 

Richards' claims have been met with extreme skepticism by most members of the public, and City officials have filed for a restraining order forbidding the "alt right" from doing any work or demolition on the site while they attempt to revoke the permit on grounds of fraud and deception by Richards and his group. The next hearing on this matter is scheduled in D.C. Superior Court for October 13th.

Note to readers: The foregoing post is SATIRE. NO ONE (at least to our knowledge) is planning such and outrageous memorial. This blog post is nothing but satire... and click bait. Got it? 

Monday, August 21, 2017

THE RACIST ECLIPSE

That's right folks, you read right. Some whiny lady discovered that the "path of totality" of today's eclipse of the sun passed over only areas with majority white populations. 

Two things: Number one, the eclipse did NOT "pass over" anyplace. everybody saw it at the same Grenwich Meridian Time. What looks like a "path" is just where you'd have needed to be to see the full effect at XX:XX Hours Greenwich Meridian Time,

Number two: HOW FUCKING STUPID AND/OR OBSESSED DO YOU HAVE TO BE to believe that there are racial implications to a fucking eclipse? Somebody needs a straitjacket and a rubber room. Cripes. Need we elaborate? Stupidest thing I have heard in a long time. sheeesh.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

MEDIA GOES OFF THE RAILS IN CHARLOTTESVILLE REPORTING

We cannot believe the utter bullcrap being peddled by the Left and the media about the Charlottesville riots of last week. 

Perhaps the most egregious statements are those who compared the filthy hippies (who just showed up unpermitted and uninvited and began raising hell) to "noble and heroic" figures in history. They have been compared to the troops who invaded Normandy to take down Adolf Hitler's criminal regime. They have also been compared to the people who fought the German National Socialist Worker's Party in the streets before the Nazis took power. 

What a load of crapola.

The American forces at Normandy took the toughest of the obstacles at their assigned beachheads. We rather doubt that any of the "ANTIFA" blowholes would have obeyed orders to scale cliffs with ropes dangling from grappling hooks while the Waffen SS fired down on them. 

And the people who fought the NSDAP in the streets in Germany were BOLSHEVIKS. They were a pack of goddamned Communists whose ultimate aim was a similar world totalitarian state as desired by the Nazis. It was smallpox vs. ebola then, and it's smallpox vs ebola now. 

And of course there are calls for stricter gun control, even though there was not one shot fired the whole time. In fact, the armed "militias" who showed up arguably prevented things from getting WORSE; as some of these got between the "alt right" and the ANTIFA idiots, who had more sense than to try to fuck with men who had rifles. 

The Second American Civil War continues to heat up, and the Media are fanning the flames. God help America. And God bless President Trump.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

THE FACTS ABOUT THE CHARLOTTESVILLE VIRGINIA RIOT

GENTLE READERS, if you are confused about the events that transpired in Charlottesville over the weekend, we are not surprised. Rather than reporting the FACTS, almost every member of the media was doing his or her best to tie everything to President Trump and make him look as bad as possible. 

Ignore all the posturing and read the facts here at the Alexandria Daily Poop.

FACT I: The "alt right" demonstrators had secured a permit for their assembly. And despite the extreme unpopularity of the political and racial viewpoints of this group and the various sects of National Socialism and the Ku Klux Klan, their right to argue them in public is protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. (So is the right of the public to leave them listening to the crickets when they finish). 

FACT II: The hordes of filthy hippies who call themselves the :ANTIFA" (ANTI FAscist ) movement are in fact the same bunch of freeloading troublemakers who infested city after city in the "occupy and shit on the cop cars" movement. These people are largely a BUNCH OF IDIOTS who came to Charlottesville equipped with home made armor and blunt force weapons (chains,  clubs, etc.) with the express purpose of causing as much trouble as possible. These lice did NOT have any sort of permit, they just showed up and immediately began to egregiously disturb the peace. We don't know who "threw the first punch"; but we DO know that the folks throwing bags and balloons full of piss and shit were not the licensed demonstrators.

FACT III: Charlottesville, like every other place where these "ANTIFA" blowholes pull their crap is run by DEMOCRATS. This in our estimate explains why the Charlottesville police did not immediately get between the two groups and in fact pushed them together. 

FACT IV: President Trump was right when he said the blame rests with all sides. It does indeed take TWO to tangle.

FACT V: There is nothing good to say about either side here. Thinking people realize that what was seen down in Charlottesville was nothing more or less than "Smallpox meets Ebola" Nobody wants their town to be a Petri dish for these microbes. 

There is nothing more to elaborate on than these facts. We are sick of hearing the fake newsies trying to tie the President to these events and distorting the facts and even blatantly making things up. You can no longer trust the lamestream driveby media. Send these idiots an Email and tell them you trust the Alexandria Daily Poop more than them. Now on to some important issues, please.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

AN OLD RIDDLE AND THE MODERN AMERICAN STATIST PROGRESSIVE RESPONSE

Abraham Lincoln was fond of repeating this riddle:

"If you call a dog's tail a leg, how many legs does it have?"

Of course there were morons who replied "five"; but of course there were mostly intelligent people who realized that just calling an appendage a leg did not make it a leg (although many men who were in the service are familiar with observing in the common shower facilities another male who was so endowed as to be said to have a "third leg"; but we regress...)

Come now the American Statist Progressives, who as usual wish to answer any question so as to be taken in a way which will benefit their broader argument. Ask an ASP this riddle and he will say something along these lines: 

"Well, it depends. There have been great advances in veterinary medicine in the last few decades, so if the dog had been crippled it is entirely possible that his tail and the controlling muscles might be adapted for locomotion and thus considered a leg. And if part of the crippled leg still played a part in the dog's locomotion, you might say the dog had five legs. But if the affected leg were useless or missing, then the dog would still have only four legs. And if the tail did not compensate sufficiently for the missing leg, then the poor animal would have in reality only three legs."

Straight answers are an uncommon commodity among ASPS. 

Friday, August 11, 2017

PRESIDENT TRUMP'S POLLS RISE THE MORE THE LEFT ATTACKS HIM FOR HIS KOREA POLICY; LEFTIST MEDIA TYPES ANGRY AND SHOW IT

Yes, Gentle Readers, it's true. A couple of the more reputable polls are reporting President Trump's approval numbers to be in the mid-40s and rising since he has begun dealing with the Norks in the only language they understand. The lamestream drive-by media is going bananas as a result. 

It is important to note that just about every entity in the American media has all but come out and announced that their mission is no longer to report the news; but rather to gather and disseminate as much derogatory information about the President as possible. As such the American media and especially CNN News and the Washington Post newspaper are absolutely NOT to be trusted or taken seriously. 

And so at this writing CNN is featuring an old leftist blowhard who is angrily holding forth that "You just do not do this (talk like President Trump), you use every means of diplomacy' blah blah blah. 

 Really? "Every means of diplomacy" has been done to death since Kim Il Sung bit the dust. The Norks were promised and received all kinds of food aid and money, which they collected and promptly resumed the same old same-o. Now they have tiny nukes and the means to deliver them, and they are really cranking up the old nuclear blackmail machine. 

Well, cometh the hour, cometh the man. President Trump has, in his capacity as a real estate developer in New York City, had to deal with mob types. He knows how to deal with hoodlums. and today he said our military option is "Locked and loaded". Some idiot reporter asked him breathlessly what that meant. The President said that the Norks know damn well what it means. 

(If you don't, we'll tell you. It means a rifle with a round in the chamber and the bolt locked closed and ready to fire. If the safety is off, the weapon is said to be "cocked and locked".)

This is why President Trump is gaining approval. Americans don't like to be shoved around, especially by some pissant who wants to play tough guy. And we can assure both you and the pissant, President Trump is NOT playing games. 

Thursday, August 10, 2017

THE FLAP OVER PRESIDENT TRUMP'S WARNING TO NORTH KOREA

Folks, we apologize for not putting out our immediate reaction to the President's statement to North Korea (except to say that the Norks had best take Trump seriously). But it is our practice to make sure we have sifted through all the nonsense being uttered by parties all around before we comment on it.

We are glad we finally have a President who will no longer play patty-cake with a pissant country whose capital city (Pyongyang) sounds like a "Slinky" toy or two being tumbled in a clothes dryer. Nevertheless, we have lots of folks here in the USA who would rather damage President Trump than deal effectively with a clear and present danger. 

So we have all these congressmen and senators and media hypes gasping in horror as they call the President's statement "Unpresidential".  But in researching that claim, we find that President Harry S. Truman promised the Japanese a "rain of ruin from the air the like of which has never been seen" if they did not surrender pronto.  And he proceeded to deliver.

Disgraced newsman Brian Williams stated that the job of the media was to "scare people to death" to silence talk of a "first strike".  Pardon us, but we don't think the job of the media is to manipulate people's emotions or "scare" them into or out of supporting this or that, except in a dictatorship.

The left wasted no time in portraying President Trump as a madman and a reckless warmonger who is going to get us all killed. This in turn emboldened the Norks to threaten to nuke Guam and deride President Trump's remarks as "a load of nonsense". 

In the end, the Norks know very well that they have been put on notice. Kim Jong Un cares very much about his own big fat ass, and he knows what will happen if he does attack Guam. Seeing that Kim is in no hurry to die, Guam will be fine. 

HERE at the ADP, we believe there's an excellent chance China will finally act to defuse a dangerous situation by instituting a military coup d'etat. They do that, problem solved. For the time being.


Tuesday, August 8, 2017

CAREFUL, MISTER KIM. YOU ARE PLAYING WITH THERMONUCLEAR FIRE.

North Korea was today reported to be in possession of several to several dozen weaponized small nuclear devices capable of being fitted onto an ICBM. He of course began running his yap about using them... on US.

When asked about this, President Trump said that Kim "Best stop" threatening the USA and if he didn't knock off the 'tude he would be met with "Fire and fury such has never been seen on Earth."

Kim responded by having a factotum say that the Nork military was waiting only for Kim's order to begin a "strike" at Guam.

Do that, Fatso, and your entire country and you will be promptly turned into the world's biggest piece of Corningware (trademark).

Don't think that President Trump won't do it. You are not dealing with Barack Obama anymore; and if you think our Congress and media will be able to stop President Trump you have another think coming. And you can have it right between the time you see the flash and the blast wave arrives.  

Try anything funny, Porky; and th-th-th-that's all folks. 

And remember with your last thoughts that you have been a long time asking for exactly what you are getting. You loony toon.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

SELF DRIVING CARS IMMINENT? IN A PIG'S EYE THEY ARE

We have decided to take a little respite from politics today and discuss the idiotic common belief that "driverless" automobiles will soon put taxis (and semi trucks and Ubers etc.) out of business. 

Those who subscribe to this lunacy state that "Autonomous vehicles" will "eliminate human error" in driving. But unless God Himself is doing the programming, it's being done by error prone humans. Which means that far from being eliminated, human error will be coded in permanently.

And, let's not forget how much information a driver is bombarded with in the course of operating a motor vehicle. Consider that some of it may not be immediately relevant to the task at hand (like a girl in a thong bikini walking down the road) but may immediately become relevant (such as when said girl suddenly runs across the street to greet her similarly bird brained boyfriend). A computer won't recognize the threat before it becomes a threat. A human driver will realize that the girl has a nice butt, but also realize that teen ditzes do stupid stuff and will be prepared for just such an event. And all this information will be running in the background of a human driver's attention span; along with other signs of possible trouble (such as a car sitting at a cross street waiting to enter the stream of traffic. The human's visual "sensors" - his eyes - are able to pick up multiple visual inputs at once; such as how fast approaching and same direction traffic is moving AND if the car on the cross street's wheels are rotating; not to mention the aforementioned bikini-clad lass.) And when any of it becomes indicative of a possible impending emergency, the human brain can come up with possible avoidance scenarios BEFORE they are needed and modify them mid crisis as new information is received. This involves the receiving and processing of multiple thousands of bits of information in a thousandth of a second. To attain that level of processing would require three Cray "Supercomputers" linked together. These supercomputers are each the size of a small broom closet and must be constantly cooled;  which begs the question: Where do you put the passenger?

On top of all of this, we don't believe the geniuses who are trying to foist these "autonomous cars" off on the public will EVER convince people to let some robot take the wheel of a vehicle they are riding in. We want to go where we want to go when we want to go there, and we like to have control. 

There are some people who are so stupid they actually want these "self driving autos". We met one of them the other day. Her reason for wanting this technology?

Quote: "I don't like to have to think about what I'm doing"

No, unfortunately that is a real quote from a real Millennial ditz, who will probably wind up with 2016's "Idiot of the Year" prize in this blog. 

Back in the 1960s we were supposed to have "flying cars" by now. We don't. and we won't. 

Like "flying cars". "self driving" cars are a self-gratification fantasy for this age.  Even if they existed, they would cost as much as an F22 Raptor fighter jet. Self Driving Cars? Not in the lifetime of anyone living today. Get serious, folks.


Friday, July 28, 2017

WHEN LIVING IN THE NATIONAL CAPITAL REGION USED TO BE TOLERABLE. FUN, EVEN.

There was a time here in the D.C. Metropolitan Area when the population was smaller, younger, and lots more fun. It was actually possible to get a speeding citation without looking for someplace where there was space in traffic in which to speed. 

Ditto being able to un-ass your ride when you went into - it's unbelievable, we know - even Georgetown for a night's entertainment. 

And entertainment was lots more accessible; and you could still see nationally known acts such as Blue Oyster Cult, Roy Orbison, John Denver, John McLaughlin and many others at venues such as Crazy Horse, The Bayou, Desperado's and the late lamented Cellar Door. The Cellar Door was one of the best "small rooms" in America for big name acts, and for jazz there was Charlie Byrd's Blues Alley and the One Step Down lounge at 24th and Pennsylvania NW. 

Even major arts venues were more accessible back then. The Kennedy Center (where we saw performances by Carlos Montoya and Andres Segovia)  and George Washington's Lisner Auditorium were easily reached by car, which said car could be parked within easy walking distance of the performance.

We must admit to having had a penchant for going to strip clubs once in a while. These existed in Virginia but were "Pasties and g-string" clubs. D.C. clubs were "bare tits and everything" clubs, and the best of them were found on 14th Street NW between I and K Streets. Benny's Rebel Room, the Butterfly Club and "This is It?" were the most famous and busiest on the Strip. Their flashing marquees were powered by incandescent bulbs sequenced by rotary analog timers whose "tic tic tic tic tick" provided a background rhythm for the scene.

Eating out was less complicated then. The big ongoing competition between rival restaurants was between Mel Krupin's and Duke Ziebart's over who had the best matzoh ball soup. French was French, from formal classic restaurants like the Rive Gauche (now a Banana Republic clothing store at the southwest corner of Wisconsin and M) to informal bistros like La Nicioise (where the waiters came on roller skates) and "Au Pied du Cochon" which was open 24/7/365 (Famous for the re-defection of a Soviet defector and now a hamburger stand). 

Chinatown was palpably Chinese and had some very good and very authentic regional Chinese restaurants. Li Ho Food, a humble little place where slabs of roast pork and whole roast ducks hung from hooks in the front window finally bit the dust a few months ago after decades of very authentic Chinese cookery. Now Chinatown is identifiable mainly because Fuddruckers and Subway and other American shops are required by law to post their names in Chinese characters (fun fact: Mandarin for Chinatown Metro Stop translates literally to "Beautiful Village Underground Ox Cart")

The time we are here writing about is the early 1970s to the early 1980s. Those were the days of very interesting Washington scandals. There was the Representative Wayne Hays scandal featuring Elizabeth Ray, whom Hays hired as a "secretary" although she could barely type.  Then there was the Wilbur Mills affair, when Congressman Mills was having an affair with "Argentine Bombshell" stripper "Fanny Fox". One night they had a fight in the back of Mills' limo and she jumped out. Mills chased her around the Tidal Basin by the Jefferson Memorial, begging her to come back, until they both fell into the drink and had to be pulled out by the United States Park Police. The resulting loud and very public scandal provided much salacious and entertaining evening news and newspaper fodder for the better part of a month.

There was one such scandal wherein we personally knew every participant: The Bauman affair; wherein a conservative Republican congressman (Robert Bauman) who was a closet gay propositioned a 16 year old boy working as a "go-go" stripper in a failed seafood restaurant called "The Chesapeake House" which had been re-purposed as a homosexual strip club (Things were outrageously loose back in the day).  The boy's 17 year old lover filed a complaint and Bauman was in trouble plenty. Every person involved in that affair had been a passenger in my taxicab. 

Speaking of the taxicab business: Back then, the government limited itself to making sure the cab and the driver were safe for the people who used the cabbie's service and the system for determining fares was Hoyle. Today I miss the old days, and thank God I didn't cross over from Virginia to D.C.. 

Back in the day, D.C. cabs operated on a zone system, and a savvy rider could save himself a dollar or more on a ride just by hailing a cab from the other side of the street. But then D.C. decided to force taximeters on the drivers.

Next they required D.C. cabs to accept plastic for payment, even on street hails. Goodbye days when one could knock off early and drive into Maryland for a seafood dinner. This practice has since spread to the Virginia suburbs, where we resist it (but futilely). And D.C. - having forced their cabbies to pay for at least $3,000 worth of modifications to their vehicles less than 10 years ago; now wants to require them to modify their cabs again with GPS based meters and other such things to the tune of almost five grand per cab. 

Living here has gotten too damn complicated and restrictive. I'd move back to Dayton, Ohio in a New York second but for one thing:

THERE AIN'T NO FUCKING MONEY IN DAYTON. Not like there is here. 

Gawd, I miss the old days.

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