HERE AT THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP, WE TRY HARD TO GIVE YOU THE TRUTH, AND NOT JUST SPREAD IDLE RUMORS. BUT IT IS THE TRUTH THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF IDLE RUMORS FLYING AROUND.
One of these was voiced the other day by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who said that he had it on the authority of an "anonymous Bain Capital investor" that putative Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney had not paid income taxes for ten years.
We at the Alexandria Daily Poop were about to dismiss this as just another paathetic attempt to force Romney to hand over 13,000 pages of data for the Democrat propaganda machine to miscontrue and use to obfuscaate the real issue; which is not what Romney is doing with HIS money but what Obama has been doing witb OUR MONEY.
However, noted D.C. area talk show host Chris Plante announced today that he has been informed by an anonymous and mysterious source that Senator Reid keeps captive in his office a female goat by the name of Vickie, along with an assortment of lingiere and French maid outfits, lipstick, etc.
Some credence may be given to this rumor by the fact that Reid told a reporter that a certain smell was "the tourists coming into the Capitol building." Is it possible he was trying to explain away the aroma of sweaty female goat?
What horrors is this innocent barnyard animal being put through? Who else is involved? The burden is on Senator Reid, who must IMMEDIATELY invite the Federal Bureau of Investigation in to swab his office for ovine DNA and, if Vickie the Goat is present, to rescue her and take her for examination. Reid must also allow his residences and adjunct offices in Washington and Nevada to be similarly searched.
DEMAND that Senator Reid free this poor ewe goat at once, by calling, faxing, or e-mailing him at:
FREE VICKIE THE GOAT NOW!!!