Friday, September 28, 2012


This isn't a satire, although I wish it were. You see, as I have stated before I check the ads Google is running on this blog. The other day I saw one for the Chevy Volt that, especially after I had checked out the fine print, was very disturbing.
Chevrolet is of course part of "Government Motors" ( still owned 51% by the Federal Government and STILL, despite an attempt via financial shell game to say otherwise, in debt to the bailout program). As a de facto Obama fiefdom they have been tasked with finageling an "all electric drive" car onto the market. 
Note how dishonest this is. The car is said to have a "range of 400 miles"; but that is with its gasoline-powered generator. True, the wheels are driven by electricity only, but the batteries are only good for 40 miles, after which a gasoline engine runs a generator to supply the batteries. But generator driven or direct driven, it still takes (x) amount of gasoline to drive a car (y) miles down the road.
In other words, if you have a 60 mile commute every day, and gasoline supplies the last 20 miles; then your HONEST miles per gallon is calculated by the gas you use in those last 20 miles. So statements like: "I drive 300 miles to work and back every week and I only use four gallons of gas in my Volt" SOUND like you're getting over 72 miles per gallon. Baloney. You're getting about 25 MPG. I haven't seen any way to calculate electricity into the equivalent of gallons of gasoline, but since as I said it takes (x) energy in whatever form to move a car (y) miles, I've a feeling that when your electric bill comes you may be in for a real surprise.
For now, that surprise might not be so nasty. A recent letter to the Washington Post was from a Volt owner who crowed about how he was recieving subsidized electricity from the power company, which made driving electrically very economical, indeed. This is not surprising, as it has been the tactic of dope dealers for ages. Get them hooked, then start charging full price. 
The result? Well, if I don't have enough money for gasoline then I cannot drive until I get some.  But if that Volt owner winds up not being able to pay his fuel bill, that means he will not be able to pay his electric bill. And that means his power gets cut off.  And that means that not only does the Volt owner not drive, it also means he freezes in the dark while his food spoils.
Remember back during the 2008 campaign when Obama said that under his plan the price of electricity would "necessarily skyrocket"?  And now here he is, the de facto head of Government Motors, trying like mad to convince you to rely on an electric car. Why?
Commies like Obama hate freedom. Nothing gives you the freedom to go where you damn please when you damn please like a car powered by reasonably cheap fuel.  Keeping large groups of people herded together makes them easy to control. "Concentration camps" aren't called that for nothing, folks.
Which (finally) brings us to the subject of that ad, which showed an odometer registering the total miles travelled by Volt drivers. It was moving rapidly, and I scanned the ad to see where the data was coming from. 
It was coming from the "OnStar" devices installed on every Volt sold. You people out there may not even know that you are being tracked by OnStar and your movements are being reported back to Government Motors. I bet that those electricity subsidies you are getting are pegged in the fine print of your sales contract to your permission for GM to monitor your miles driven and to use the data in marketing and other purposes.
He who would give up essential liberty for a little free electricity deserves neither liberty nor electricity. Only a dolt would buy a Volt.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


W ell, folks, we knew it would come to this. The Democrat media and polling organizations have come up with some patently ridiculous poll results in the "battleground states" of Ohio, Virginia and Pennsylvania.
Last week Romney is pulling ahead - ON THE ECONOMY, especially, and now we are to believe that he's way behind this week? On the basis of what stellar accomplishment of Obama's is this poll justified??
These polling organizations, especially those connected with partisan media outlets such as the Washington Post, the New York Times, MSLSD, etc; hide their stacking, loading, and misrepresentation of the data they collect via complicated formulae and protocols. 
One of many such protocols is the projection of "likely voter" turnout. These results were arrived at in large part by predicting the Democrat turnout to be LARGER than it was in 2008.  Fat freaking chance. If the results are postulated on the much more likely 2010 model, OBAMA GETS HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM.
These manipulated polls cannot just be made up, that much is true. They need actual numbers from actual surveys. So they overload the samples with Democrat voters and then analyze them using an uber-overoptimistic model based on a greater Democrat turnout than took place in 2008. 
It really doesn't take a genius to recoognize the fact that, in the face of the fact that nothing has happened since the last set of polls to make anything better; and add to that the fact that Obama is fiddling on Letterman and The View while the Moslem Crescent burns; and any idiot can see that these "polls" have been manipulated and skewed by Obama's media syncophants.
And to what end? They seek to dispirit Romney voters and keep them away from the polls. They are trying to do to YOU, Patriot, what Tokyo Rose and Axis Sally and Lord Haw-Haw were trying to do to the fighting spirit of our soldiers and our allies in another big fight against fascists. 
Unfortunately for them, an institution exists that I call "Internet Free America". There exists the "New Media". There exists Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Breitbart, right down to this little blog. Don't buy this risible crap the "polls" purport to show. Obama has done nothing but stumble from one pathetic screwup to another in this last polling cycle (when he hasn't been partying with Beyonce or running his mouth on "The View"). 
Don't let this phony baloney keep you from the polls. No matter what, GET OUT ON ELECTION DAY AND VOTE LIKE HELL!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Folks, I really, really, REALLY don't give a rat's patoot about sports, except insofar as they affect the culture, etc. The importance I attach to sports consists of things like Vince Lombardi's famous advice that "it isn't how many times you get knocked down. It's how many times you get back up". 
I don't keep track of stats, I rarely know when some team is winning. Back in high school I didn't even care if the school team won or lost. I do however watch a few games, because you can't hardly go down to the corner pub without having some game right in your face on the bar TV. I may not care who wins or loses, but I know a good effort when I see one and I understand the rules.
Which is more than I can say for the referees this season, whom I understand are replacements hired to fill in while the pro-level officials are on some kind of strike. I've engaged in much animated conversation about the - words fail me - questionable calls these officials have made.
My position on these officials has been that even if the calls they make are wrong, as long as they are completely impartial both teams suffer equally, so the only harm done is some individual player may lose a designation as MVP for making a play that is negated by a lousy call. On the other hand, that's still unfair.
But overall, I had been thinking, it's a wash, so what? Then I saw the tape of the final play in the late Green Bay vs. Seattle game.
THAT WAS SO NOT A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN!!! THAT PASS WAS SO INTERCEPTED!!!  That call was the worst call ever made, eclipsed only by the call made by the voters in November 2008. Good GRIEF.
So now all you football fans have the official judgement of the Alexandria Daily Poop's Editor-In-Chief. It's the most impartial judgement you can get. The officials who made that call should be locked up for robbery. 
Or, as one coach put it, "Footlocker needs to call those zebras and tell them they're needed at the store." I concur. What a complete boner of a call.

Monday, September 24, 2012


Officials at the National Zoo in Washington D.C. announced yesterday that the giant panda cub recently born there had died.
Within hours of the announcement, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney read the following statement, written by Mr. Obama:
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I am just going to read to you a short statement from the Office of the President concerning the tragic death of the newborn giant panda cub at the National Zoo. The statement is as follows:
'All of America is in mourning today as we learn more and more about the unfortunate demise of the poor baby panda at our National Zoological Park. We join our fellow Americans as we unite in our grief.  An investigation is underway to determine the why and the how of this tragic event. 
This was a very preventable tragedy. Two factors stand out as major contributing causes. 
First, the tax cuts for the rich instituted by my predecessor, George W. Bush, deprived the Zoo of funding which could have been used to develop safeguards and guidelines which could have averted this tragedy. Were it not for the Bush tax cuts, more state-of-the-art veterinary equipment might have been available to perhaps revive this innocent and fragile little cub.
Second, it has been reported that Zoo staffers assigned to monitor the mother panda and her cub were entertaining themselves by watching a You Tube video which made light of neglectful parents. This video was played within earshot of the mother panda, and it is believed that the mother panda may have taken the pretended endorsement of neglect as good advice; coming as it did from the room where she knew her trusted keepers were watching over her. It is our understanding that all of these keepers were hired by my predecessor's administration.
Correcting these and other flaws inherited from the previous administration will take more time. I ask all Americans to grant me another four years to complete this task. God bless the United States of America'

Friday, September 21, 2012


Good day, gentle readers. No doubt all three of you have been wondering when I was going to publish my views on the latest goings-on in the Moslem Crescent, what with our embassies burning and our people being abducted, draggged through the streets, and sodomized before being brutally MURDERED while of course Mr. Obama - who no longer even deserves the derisive "president" by which we have referred to him herein for the past few years - goes out playing with David Letterman and Beyonce in between lame apologies to and tut-tuts at the people who are doing the burning and murdering. 
It is our general policy here at the Alexandria Daily Poop to not rush our opinion into print until we have gathered enough newss to have been able to say that we know enough beyond a reasonable doubt to have a valid opinion. Now we have an opinion, but we scarcely know where to begin. Just as Mr. Obama was gearing up his smoke-and-mirrors routine to deflect his inept handling (if not deliberate destruction) of the American economy - including among much else the downgrading of America's global credit rating not once but TWICE, first from AAA to AA+ and now just down to plain old AA - the spectre of national security has raised its head, and Obama's and the Democrats' dangerous and legendary ineptitude in this area is being exposed as the frightening danger to the Republic that indeed it is.
We do know now for a fact that the Benghazi embassy raid and the murder of our Ambassador was NOT a reaction to a schlocky freaking YouTube movie about Mahometanism. It was in fact a planned attack using small arms, rocket grenades and mortars, and the fact that it occurred on the 11th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks of 2001 is more than significant. That this was not a reaction to a movie that has been on YouTube for more than six months is now obvious. But Obama and his bunch attempted right up until it was undeniably a terrorist attack and not a protest gone feral that it was the movie and "disrespect for Islam" that was to blame and not the remnants of AlQaeda feeling their oats because of a weak leader of the free world.
If Obama could do so (we are convinced) he would call a national emergency and censor any communications that could be called "disrespectful" of Islam. Islamist nutbars from all over the world, emboldened by Obama's mealy mouthed and gutless responses to these recent events, have been demanding that we abrogate the First Amendment and punish people who say things that "upset moslems".  Were it I, I would say in a Rose Garden statement:
"Our embassy in Benghazi, Libya was attacked on the eleventh day of this month by forces loosely allied with Al-Qaeda. This is an unlawful act of war and part of the unlawful war which Al-Qaeda has been waging on the United States and our allies ever since the inception of that extremist organization. The United States demands and expects the full cooperation of the government and military of the State of Libya as we seek the perpetrators of these acts. We will send in military and law enforcement units into Libya as we see fit and they will conduct the search for these vermin as they see fit. Any harm befalling any American Citizen in Libya from this day forward will be viewed by this Administration as an act of war against the United States, and may result in a punitive campaign using disproportionate and overwhelming force.'   
'Every American Citizen in Libya for any reason is authorized by this Administration to be armed with a pistol and/or a submachinegun or select-fire assault rifle.'
'Furthermore, any further attempts at storming any United States Embassy in any non-European nation may be viewed as an act of war against the United States depending upon our interpretation of the circumstances. The government of the nation in which such assault may take place will be deemed the responsible party and will be held accountable.'
'We have heard and are tired of hearing various leaders and self-styled leaders of the Islamic faith demand that various American citizens be punished for exercising their rights of free speech under the First Amendment. We are sick and tired of Moslems demanding the death penalty for those who lack what they deem the proper deference to the Islamic faith.  In this nation we tolerate artists who depict Jesus - whom Christians regard as God and Savior - depicted by so-called artists as being a homosexual hedonist or portrayed nailed to a cross and soaking in a jar of urine. No one demands the lives of these "artists"; because the proper being to deal with them is God Himself.'
'The person who insults God is a fool. But the person who decides that he is morally entitled to murder that fool is a criminal. Any person who demands the death of or harm to any person for excercising his or her rights under the protection of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America will be considered to be soliciting murder; and if money is offered as a reward the offense shall rise to soliciting murder for hire; and should a killing then take place the offense shall rise to murder or murder for hire. And the offender shall be liable not only under the laws of the Federal government of the United States but also under the laws of the State or Territory where the object of the threat was living at the time the threat was made. And in the case that the murder actually takes place within a State or Territory of the United States, the charge of murder or murder for hire may be bought in that Territory of State with the concurrence of the Attorney General of the United States.'
'This Administration will not tolerate foreign mobs to dictate to our citizenry the limits on the excersise of their freedoms. Anyone, just by being present physically in the United States, is free to call the most powerful government official any name he or she desires. ANY person - not just American citizens - are when they are within our borders protected from the abrogation of their rights.'
'The policies I have just announced and explained here are meant to protect the rights that are the birthright of every human being on this planet, but are nowhere else on this Earth as closely held, ardently treasured and vigilantly protected.'   

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A General Commentary on the Elections Seven Weeks Out

The rapidly approaching 2012 national elections in the United States constitute the most significant event in world history since the Bolshevik Revolution.
Ever since the United States were described as the "arsenal of Democracy" We have been feared by every tyrant both petty and grand on this planet. Believe it. When Japan screwed up and forced us into declaring war on them, the Tripartate Pact required Hitler to declare war on us in retaliation. Hitler realized what war with America would mean, and he tried to get out of it. But even criminals like the Nazis and the 1941 incarnation of the Imperial Japanese Armed Forces have to have some form of honor between theives. Nazi Germany tried every trick they could, but in the end they had to honor their treaty obligations. In so doing they doomed themselves.
We allied ourselves with the Bolsheviks, who by then had become the rulers of what was then and for the next half century known as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.
Basically this meant that we were helping one group of anti-semetic socialists defend itself from another. Had Adolf Hitler not attacked Russia, the Statist Left in this country - who were fine with Hitler and his "National Socialist" movement - would have organized loud violent protests against "our unjustified attacks" on Uncle Joe's buddy Adolf.
 Much as the Left bitched about Iraq - saying that "the 9-11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia, not Iraq" - had Hitler not attacked the Lefties' beloved "Uncle Joe" (Stalin) before Pearl Harbor, there would have been nationwide unrest spurred on by the lefties, asking why - when no German bombs had fallen on Pearl - were we attacking Hitler. National Socialism and Italian Fascism were and are cut from the same filthy God-hating Leftist cloth as are Marxism, Maoism, Leninism, Stalinism and all the other variants of Communism. 
 World War II on the German-Soviet front was less a struggle between good and evil as it was a fight over who would hold the reins and call the shots in the excercize of the perversion of Democracy known as Socialism. The war on Nazi Germany as waged by the Western Allies was a war against a tyranny. The war waged against Nazi Germany by the Soviet Union was a war between gangsters in an argument about who would muscle in and take over. When finally Nazi Germany lay in ruins and defeated, the Soviets moved to take as much as they could as rapidly as they could. 
The history of the "Cold War" is well known, and it ended with the breakup of the Soviet Union. Unfortunately it did not entail an end to the dream of global statist socialism by elements of the Left. 
The world Communist conspiracy has for over half a century known that the United States of America alone is the sole entity blocking their path to world domination. To this end, they have undertaken to undermine America's socio-political underpinnings. They have undertaken a decades-long effort to polarize America along lines of race, wealth, and sex and (most recently) "sexual orientation".  
The basic technique is right out of the Nazi handbook: identify a scapegoat and blame it for everything. Find a minority and demonize it. Today's "minority" is the "One Percent" of the alleged "rich" who screw the "Ninety-Nine Percent" of the "oppressed poor" and laugh at them over champaigne and caviar at the banquets where they conspire to take even more from the benighted souls at the bottom in order to finance their private jet planes. 
Here in America, the Left has for some decades been developing what they hope will turn out to be the ultimate weapon: using accusations of racism to blunt or stall counterattacks on their efforts to change America from a Republic to a "People's Republic".  Sometime around the turn of the millenium they identified the tool they would use to exploit our national feelings of guilt over American slavery.  His name is Barack Hussein Obama. 
We who live in the United States have now experienced over three and one half years of Obama, during two of which he had Democrat majorities in the House and the Senate to back him up. 
What does Obama have to show for this? 
He has rammed "Obamacare" down the throats of a loudly protesting American public.
He has - as opposed to his promise to cut the deficit in half - DOUBLED IT. 
He has spent more money in 21 months than was spent in the entire history of this Republic before he took office.
He has overseen the downgrading of the credit rating of the United States not once but TWICE, the first time from AAA to AA+ and just in the last few days to just plain AA. 
He has authorized the printing of massive amounts of dollars to cover the debts he has run up - thus making the dollar that American labor sweats for worth that much less - and camouflaged it by calling it "Quantatative Easement".  
And when he is pressed for an answer as to why all this is so, and to why the Islamic Crescent is aglow with the fire of burning United States Embassies and as to why our Ambassador to Libya was dragged naked throught the streets and sodomized before being brutally slain, his excuse is George W. Bush and a crappy 15 minuite movie trailer made by a nincompoop and posted on You Tube.
On which of these items would any American base a decision to give Obama another four years? (SANE Americans, that is.)?    

Saturday, September 15, 2012


Since I had decided to run as a write-in candidate for the Presidency (as announced previously here) I felt I should eliminate the ads from the blog, to ensure no conflicts with campaign finance laws.  When I announced the end of the campaign, I sought to reinstate the ads, only to find that my new security regimen was hindering the process. Those issues have been resolved, and the ads are now appearing on my media outlets again.
One reason I like the ads is that (as I understand it) Google uses a program that looks for keywords in blog content to determine which ads might fit in. The results are often unintentionally hilarious. 
A while ago I did a post wherein I excoriated the companies who urge people to buy gold from them, since the dollar (according to them) would still be worthless; and I pointed out that even so, these folks were willing to accept the allegedly soon-to-be-worthless American dollar in exchange for allegedly soon-to-be-priceless gold. (New lamps for old, anyone?)
Google's computer program saw the word "gold" as the most frequently mentioned noun in the post, and placed an ad immediately below it advertising gold for sale because the dollar would soon lose all its value. This is like Jack Daniels advertising in the Women's Christian Temperance Union Quarterly.
Of course I make money off those ads, so additionally you guys out there check them out. Hey, find out their addresses, write them, and tell them you saw their ad in the Alexandria Daily Poop. You won't get a discount for it but, in the case of the folks like the gold sellers and the Obama nuts whose ads wind up here, you can imagine their faces when they find out their advertising is winding up on a blog that excoriates them regularly. 
I just wonder if I write, say, "baby baby baby baby baby diaper diaper diaper diaper diaper diaper diaper" if I don't wind up with an ad for Huggies or some such a few days from now? We'll see, won't we?

P.S.: My last post was a critique of the over-dependence of Americans on their cell phones. Right now there's an ad for cell phones hovering at the top of the page.  I'm ALWAYS RIGHT, folks, and I never lie.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


How many times have you heard somebody say "Wow, I thought I lost my phone! I'm so glad I got it back, my life is in that thing!" Statements like that give a big clue as to why our society is in decay.
A telephone is just that. The only thing you need a telephone for is to make and recieve telephone calls.  Landline or cell, that's it's only legitimate reason for being.  And a cell phone is a damn near neccessity these days as land-line pay phones are rapidly headed the way of the moa and the dodo.
The first cell phone that was commonly available to the common stiff on the streets was the Sprint "PCS" (Personal Communication System" - it always has to sound new and fancy, but it was and is still just a cell phone).  Soon, that wasn't enough, and "texting" was added.
Then came still and video cameras built into cell phones and these became so popular for taking sneak pics and vids of people undressing in locker rooms that nowadays public pools and gyms ask you to surrender your phone before entering the dressing rooms. \
Then it was the Palm Pilot and the Blackberry and an avalanche of technology such that now you can get full internet access and more right over your "i-Phone" or whatever. It's gotten to the point that many of us are "connected" to everyone on the planet except the guy right next to us, who is similarly lost in the ozone.
People will hear about something on the news, whip out their "smart phones", google it and find a website discussing it, and text in their idiotic comments.
Lots of people have what's called a "Bluetooth" device clipped to their ears, and have become oblivious to the fact that, when you are talking in public to someone who isn't physically present, you look like you are nuts. And there are people who just go off in a heated argument and walk around raving at the person they are on the phone with as if that person is right in front of them, complete with hand gestures, body language and cuss words.
Here's a true story: I had a woman in my cab a few years ago who wanted to go to a house in Burke, VA for a party. But she didn't know the address and wanted me to follow her directions. At some point she told me to "go straight" down a section of highway.
Then presently she started saying "Make the next left" and "Turn right two lights down."  Eventually we wound up in the middle of Clifton, VA.
She had been telling a friend (who was coming from another directioon), via her damned "bluetooth", how to get to the party. She hadn't bothered to tell me she was on the phone.  She hadn't noticed that we were going the wrong way, either; because she had been so engrossed in talking to her friend. When we finally got to her destination the fare was $85, and I had to call the police to force her to pay it. Had she just given me the damn address, there wouldn't have been a problem.
But people don't remember addresses anymore. How many times have I picked someone up - someone who called for a cab fifteen minutes before I arrived or even pre-arranged the trip the day before, who has gotten into the hack and when asked "where to" has said, "umm, wait a minute" and has had to consult some database in his or her phone to tell me where they were going? I wish I had a dollar for every time...
People going to the freaking airport have to consult their "smart phone" to find out which airline they are getting on. This is ridiculous. I don't care if you fly someplace ten times a week, you damned well ought to know which airline your ticket is made out for. CAN'T YOU DAMNED IDIOTS KNOW OR REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE GOING BEFORE YOU ORDER A CAB?? For the luvva Pete....
I'm at a loss for all the constant yak, yak, yak on the phone. And "texting" makes even less sense. Call me on the phone and if you can't get your point across in one minute or less, then we need to meet face to face.
I keep a personal phone book made of paper and printed in ink with all the names, addresses, and numbers I use. I have quite a few phone numbers memorized, too in case I don't have my master list handy and my phone goes out.
As for my cell phone, sometimes - most of the time, really - I keep the damn thing turned off unless I'm expecting an important call or making one. For me, "keeping it real" means not being phoney.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Eleven years ago the United States of America were attacked by a pack of filthy, merciless savages. They hijacked airplanes full of innocent people and flew them into buildings full of even more innocent people. The screams of children in the cabins of the airplanes mattered not a whit to these deranged animals.
The weather in the Washington, D.C. area that day was  eerily like today's weather: Not too hot, not too cold, but jusst right, and not a cloud in the sky.  That day I was driving back from Fairfax, having just delivered a fare, when I spotted a jetliner flying low and slow over the City of Falls Church fiteen miles out from the airport. I didn't have the AM/FM radio on and I had no idea where that jet was going or why it was flying so low.
Within minutes advisorys started coming in to avoid the area around the Pentagon because of a reported fire, then a plane crash. When I pulled into an Arlington service station to refuel everyone was crowded around a television set on the cashier's counter. It was then I learned of the unspeakable horror unfolding in New York and at the Pentagon. 
I decided to go home and call my parents and let them know I was okay. As I drove along, getting nearer and nearer to my home a bit less than a mile from the Pentagon, wild reports were coming over the radio about hijacked Metropolitan police helicopters and explosions in the streets of Washington D.C.  Sirens sounded in the distance as I wound through side streets to reach my home.
About a block from my house, I saw a young mother playing with her toddler in their yard. I could tell that the kid was oblivious and its mother was trying hard not to show fear to the tot. Surreal.
When I reached home I was approached by a trio of women who had walked almost three miles out from D.C. and who needed to get to Bailey's Crossroads. It was almost impossible to get anywhere on the main roads. Route 50 was at a standstill, and it took 15 minutes just to cross it.
I made a lot of money in the next 24 hours as all the local rental cars were suddenly rented and people had to go as far afield as Richmond and even Philadelphia to get one. For three days I was busy without a pause. Then a pall fell over the entire region. Reagan National remained closed for what looked like forever until the local Congressional delegation fought to force the DOT to re-open it (and this is one of the few times I will thank Rep. Jim Moran. thanks, Bugs.)
Gradually we recovered, but the memories of the victims who were forced by the flames to jump to their deaths in New York and the bravery of the passengers who tried to re-take a fourth jetliner and sacrificed themselves (but succeeded in at least ensuring it crashed harmlessly in a Pennsylvania field) lingered.
There will be another time - soon - for another post on the way the Left soon began trying to frame events in the context of "political correctness"; and the war and its status thus far.
But for today, I stood in the doorway of the cab insurance office on this clear and perfect day and watched as a single bumblebee foraged for what sweet nectar was still available from the fading blooms of a stand of lilacs. There's a metaphor in there somewhere, but I haven't the eloquence to put it into words.


Peanut Farmer Jimmy and the Little Duke both had similarly high polls in their runs against Republicans at this stage in their campaigns. Carter was even better off and he was an incumbent in the middle of a terrible economy. And neither of them had the double barrelled support of so many news and media organizations. But even the most skewed polls turned in the home stretch . Carter and Dukakis both wound up having their asses handed to them by Ronald Reagan and George Herbert Walker Bush, respectively.  There are interactive historical Electoral College maps available on the web (look them up, kids. I'm not going to spoon-feed you the info.)
The purpose of these carefully edited news reports you see are being fed to you by a news media that is completely "in the tank" for Obama. The skewed polls don't fool Obama and his gang. They know they are in trouble. When such an organization as Gallup Polls reported a less-than-spectacular "convention bounce" for Obama they suddenly found themselves under the scrutiny of Eric "Fast and Furious" Holder, and suddenly began reporting results more favorable to Obama.
The news media and the corrupt and intimidated pollsters - and the Obama campaign - want you to believe that resistance is futile, that you might as well just stay home for all the difference you are going to make.  They FEAR YOU.
They fear YOU. Isn't that marvelous? The most powerful single individual on the planet fears YOU, and so is using every phony trick he can find to make YOU think that it is USELESS to fight him. 
He and his gang of quasi-criminal borderline traitors, who are even now trying to sell you electric cars as an answer to expensive gasoline and are SIMULTANEOUSLY WORKING TO SKYROCKET THE PRICE OF ELECTRICITY (one of Obama's campaign promises, remember?) know you aren't stupid. So they want to make you feel outnumbered.
To this end, they are not only having their toadies at Chicken Noodle News and MSDNC give you uber-slanted reports of the political landscape, they have trolls planted on every website and in every tavern posing as discouraged anti-Obama voters. DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE BLOWHOLES and if by some chance you cannot inspire them to take heart, they are most likely Obamabots in sheep's clothing. Ignore them, shun them.
It has been said by my fave Conservative talk show host, D.C.'s own Chris Plante (himself a former mewscaster with CNN) that the most insidious power the lamestream media has is the power to ignore. This is why the despise such entities as Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and other communicators right down to this humble blog. Things like "Fast and Furious" (the Justice Department gunrunning scheme to undermine the 2nd Amendment) would have never seen the light of day had it not been for the "alternative media". 
Well, folks, we have the "power to ignore" also. And so no matter how much you hear about "the polls", ignore it.  No matter how much some idiot newsie tries to take some puny, trumpery incident in the distant past of Romney or Ryan and make a mountain out of a molehill, ignore it.  There is only ONE thing ANYBODY needs to ask. Look at the record of Obama and his henchmen. Ask yourself if the country needs another four years of that.
And then go to the polls and vote a straight Republican ticket. And we don't care if the "polls" the day before election day show Obama ahead by twenty points (they won't). These scum fear that ballot in your hand worse than if it were a gun.
Back during World War I, a detachment of United States Marines arrived to re-inforce a division of French troops that had been being mercilessly pounded by the Germans.  The French commander informed the commander of the newly-arrived Marines that they were going to surrender.
The Marine commander bellowed at the French officer:
The Marines went on to win the day. They weren't about to surrender without firing a shot.  Neither must we. VOTE.

Friday, September 7, 2012

The Poop Report, September 2012

About a week ago I noticed that the old taxi was beginning to stall out. The guy I lease it from agreed that it was rapidly turning into a "Rolls Nardly" (Rolls down one hill n' hardly makes it up the next) amd said he would be replacing it the day after Labor Day. 

However, when it came time to register the title in Virginia it turned out that there was a discrepancy in the dealer re-assignments. The dealer has to take the title back to Pennsylvania to remedy the flaws, and the vehicle won't be able to be titled in Virginia until Monday of next week. Even then, it'll take a whole 'nother day to swap out all the damned modern scientific technology (the meter, dispatch system and the credit card processor and security cameras) from the old cab to the new one. Then yet another day to get the damn thing past the Hack Inspector. 
We were going to operate the old taxi right up to the day after Labor Day, but the fucker got to where it would choke up and edge up hills at about two feet per second. We had to cease operations last Sunday afternoon. Luckily I am pretty well fixed up for food and such, there's a half a case of Sierra Nevada Pale in the fridge and I laid in a supply of ramen noodle soup and French bread (it makes for good crouton even when stale) enough to last me a few days.
Ye Idylle Foole however is Ye Deville's Toole, and so I have busied myself with finishing the  writing of the first "Prequel" to my yet-to-be-famous novel "The Peterson Investigation".  (The new novel, "Georgetown in Plainclothes" covers "The Peterson Investigation"'s main character Detective J.P. Waterman in March of 1977 as he takes on his first assignment in the Detective Bureau of the Metropolitan Police and immediately catches a case which begins as a simple traffic stop and mushrooms into a massive investigation involving narcotics, forged IDs, a robbery team, an orgy club of overpriveleged high school students, and a dead 15-year-old girl. If you read this E-rag often then you wil be the first to know when I have uploaded it to Kindle.
Also in the meantime I have this evening done as is my sometimes wont and checked to see how far down you have to scroll the Google results of a search using the keyword "poop" before you get to this here blog. I suppose I should be very happy to report that when the keywords "daily poop" are entered even without the "Alexandria"; this blog comes out on top. 
Alas, just plain "poop" still carries countless (and mostly gross) links, and even after eight pages still no mention of this blog. However, I can see why such a thing as a video titled "Justin Bieber Eats Poop" is among the top ten hits. As usual, there are some truly hilarious ones, such as whoever it was who replaced a "STOP" sign with a red octagon with "POOP" where "STOP" ought to be. (it doesn't matter, a red octagon means "STOP" however you slice it, but I can only imagine someome rolling up to that sign and having a laughing attack so bad their foot slips off the brake.)
I did find out, finally, where the term "Poop Deck" comes from. The "Poop Deck" on a sailing ship is of course the deck atop the Captain's cabin in the rear. "Poop" both in nautical and scatalogical terminology has the root in Latin of "Puppis" meaning "stern" or "rear".  This raises an interesting question: If the "poop deck" is in the rear, then how come if you need to take a dump aboard ship, you go to the "HEAD"??  Does this have anything to do with the etymology of the expression "shithead"?
Lord help me, I need to get back to work.


A particularly shocking item in the D.C. area local news this week revealed that several members of the DiMatha High School football team (located, thank God, in Maryland and not here on the other side of the Potomac Moat) had, while in some other town on some sort of "exhibition" game, hired prostitutes from a call girl service. A couple of the boys involved have been expelled from school entirely and all involved have been removed from the DiMatha athletic program.
Really, boys? Whores? Whores are for guys who can't get any and have to pay for "it".  And whores aren't all that attractive, either. Not to mention, when you have sex with one you are probably gonna be the fifth or sixth guy to do that with her - maybe even the sixteenth - in the last 24 hours. God only knows what you kids were sticking your willies into. Herpes? Gonnorhea? Syphilis? (Maybe even HIV, but female-to-male transmission of HIV is rather less common than if the new infectee is getting penetrated).
I don't know why, but I and a couple other adults I know have been "shoulder-tapped" by high school kids and asked to obtain Viagra for them. Viagra? You horn-dogs need saltpeter, not Viagra. Hells bells, sailor; I don't even need Viagra. I can cut diamonds with it on the worst day, and I'm 59 fucking years old.
And another thing. Where the fuck do you kids get the bucks to hire a slut? Has some college talent scout given you a stipend or are you just spoiled brats who get too much allowance? And if you have some kind of after-school job that pays that well, then your folks should charge you room and board.
Cheese and rice, you guys. If you football heroes are that damn desperate, go down to the CVS and get a bottle of Corn Husker's Lotion and a copy of Penthouse or something. That's what I (and my pals) did when we were in high school, and it's way cheaper than a whore, it won't give you anything worse than naybe a paper cut, and nobody is going to kick you out of school and make a big deal about it if you get caught yanking your doodle in the bathroom.
(By the way, Noxema is OK in a pinch, but don't use Vicks. Now behave.)

Thursday, September 6, 2012


WE ARE AS OF THIS WRITING attempting to get through Vice President Joe "plugs" Biden's acceptance speech. He has just uttered - for the second time in the campaign - what is going to be his "tag line": Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive.  Amid all Joe's blather, this line stands out from the class warfare he is espousing.
YES, bin Laden is dead. Obama didn't pull the trigger, and the information needed to get bin Laden was developed mainly by the CIA commanded by Obama's predecessor. But it happened on Obama's watch and he did give the kill order, so good for him, he can accept credit for that. Just as soon, that is, as he also accepts responsibility for such things as the bond rating of the USA being downgraded also on his watch.
AS FOR GENERAL MOTORS, two American carmakers got the Obama bailout treatment; GM and Chrysler. The third carmaker, Ford Motor Company refused the government help and the interference from the government that such "help" would entail. Ford is looking pretty perky these days.  GM and Chrysler? They are still majority owned by the U.S. government. And the government-designated "car of the future" the all-electric drive Volt has been shelved and production ceased as there wasn't a tax break big enough to get anyone but a leftist loon to buy a car that goes 40 miles between 10-hour + charging times. (We will say that the latest versions of the Chevy Camaro and the Dodge Challenger represent a welcome return to the styling and power of the muscle cars of yore. Just as soon as the government sells the last vestiges of GM stock, we might buy a Camaro. Zoom-zoom? No, baby. VROOM VROOM!) General Motors has NOT EVEN COME CLOSE TO PAYING OFF ITS BAILOUT even though Obama has tried smoke and mirror tricks using stock values and such.
Yes, Bin Laden is dead; and GM is on life support. For all the blather Plugs will be spouting, the dealerships and salespeople his and Obama's management of GM and Chrysler closed down and fired might just have a different opinion of Biden's enthusiasm.
Biden and Obama are a pair of real killers. Tonight they are asking four more years to finish the job of bringing America "FORWARD" right over the edge of the cliff. 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


There has always been a peculiar suspicion in American culture toward things that are fun and foods that taste good and also sex, which can be both (don't get us started).
This attitude is made manifest in the belief that anything enjoyable must have a down side, and if a down side does not seem to exist in reality then one needs to be invented.
Our own particular first exposure to this attitude was either an Ann Landers or Dear Abby column that ran sometime around 1965. In that column some parent wrote that her teenagers were pizza addicts and she was worried about their nutrition.
What Ann (or Abby) wrote back was that a deluxe pizza with cheese and vegetable and meat toppings often constitutes a "meal in itself";  but parents should be sure that a salad was consumed with the pizza. 
A salad? Why in hell do you need a salad to go with a pizza that has everything including "roughage" from the green peppers, onions, and other vegetables? Why? Because the salad is punishment for the indulgence, is why.  
Don't get us wrong here. We love a good Caesar salad, we have constructed some doozies at restaurant salad bars, and even iceberg wedges with blue cheese dressing are mighty tasty, or at least we are of that opinion. But the typical Midwest family style salad of the day consisted of iceberg lettuce and tomato quarters dressed with mayonnaise. Mayonnaise! That crap was actually arguably worse for body and soul than the pizza! So, let the kids have a pizza as long as they punished themselves with a horrid concoction of blah crap that actually had less nutritional value than the pizza they enjoyed? What was the point?
Well, of course the point was (and remains) that every pleasure MUST have a downside attached, that there MUST be unpleasant consequenses for every pleasant experience. Go camping, get poisoned by poison ivy. Go to the beach or the pool, get a sunburn (or in the alternative coat yourself with zinc oxide and look like an idiot). Fall in love, get married, have fantastic sex and wind up with five brats who literally eat up your paycheck and cause you no end of headaches and heartaches the way I and my siblings did our folks.
We generally deem aborting a pregnancy to be wrong on the grounds that it is taking a human life. But we are not a member of what I call the "pickled fetus crowd", who literally carry around not just gruesome pictures of aborted babies but actual butchered fetuses preserved in formaldehyde to gross people out. These people are more interested in possible pregnancy as a deterrent to sex outside of marriage than they are about the "rights of the unborn". And while we are to a large degree sympathetic to the anti-abortion views of the pickled fetus folks, we have absolutely no objection to the use of rubbers (condoms), which prevent the formation of a fetus in the first place. The pickled fetus crowd finds even rubbers objectionable, because they take away a possible consequense to the pleasure of sex.
We were completely flabbergasted back in the early 1980s and the first stages of the AIDS pandemic to see certain of the anti-pleasure crowd bemoaning the search for vaccines and cures for HIV because AIDS had the potential of being a powerful deterrent to sexual indulgence. Sadly, thus far these folks have gotten their wish. (Nevertheless, we do agree that teaching 11 year old kids how to put a condom on a banana is going quite a bit too far.)
Particularly anusing is the attitude toward masturbation. Graham crackers were invented by a Scots-American physician who believed that children who ate them would be less inclined to - er - experiment with their genitalia (ha! I ate Graham crackers by the carload and... well, TMI, I suppose).  This "solitary vice" (vice?) is both universally looked down on and universally practiced, even by married people. No one will admit to it, everyone will say it is disgusting... yet everyone does it. Hook someone up to a polygraph, ask them if they masturbate, and if they say "no" the damn machine will flip out.
This attitude of pairing unpleasant consequenes to pleasure is rooted in a belief that pleasure without consequence is the path to absolute hedonism. And there is a tad of merit to this. As George Carlin observed; if he could lick himself the way his dog did, he'd never leave the house.
Nevertheless, if I am having a pizza, that's what I'm having; and maybe a beer or a glass of wine. I'll have a salad with my pasta, I'll have a salad with my steak. But with my pizza I'll just have another slice, thank you; and if that bothers you you can go eat a salad, for all I care.


LET'S BE PERFECTLY FRANK, FOLKS. THE DEMOCRAT PARTY IS RUN LOCK STOCK AND BARREL BY WHITE POLITICIANS. Yes, we are aware that "president" Obama is - allegedly - partially of African heritage. Big deal. He is a nincompoop who was selected early on by white Democrats who had been looking for and finally found - in the words of white racist idiot and Vice President "Joe" Biden - "The first African-American candidate who is articulate and clean..." Obama has these characteristics and more. He was hand picked by the white Democrat party leadership because he was well-dressed, well-barbered, well-spoken; and had just enough cream in his family coffee to be "not too black" for the majority white middle-class.
Racist Democrat Senate Majority Leader (for now, but that will be changing) Harry Reid (D-Nevada) wrote in his book "Game Change" that Obama was picked because he "...had no Negro dialect unless he wanted it..."
So here we have the two most prominent men in the Democrat Party saying right out loud that Obama was picked because he could do what used to be called "pass for white" but which is now being called being articulate, bright and clean with no "negro dialect".
What about Nancy Pelosi?
Yeah, what about the "San Francisco Treat"?
Well, to start off with, Nancy Pelosi is not even a native Californian. She was born and raised the daughter of former Baltimore Mayor Joe D'Alessandro; and she grew up in Baltimore's "Little Italy" district. 
Now, I've been to Baltimore's famous Little Italy. Funny thing about the place is how fast African-Americans move through it, as if they are in a big hurry. Another funny thing is how it's the safest neighborhood in the City of Baltimore, at least if you live there or are a white person coming in to spend some money in the restaurants, delis, and shops. But let a black person come sauntering down the street without a destination such as employment in one of the restaurants, and a silent but palpable hostility will home in on him like a laser beam as activity stops and people stare as he passes. I have personally seen a black dude come ambling into one end of Little Italy and go running out the other.
That's where Nancy Pelosi grew up, among Italian-Americans whose slur for African-Americans was "Mulanyom". "Mulanyom" means "Eggplant"; and among Italians it is just as scathng a racial insult as "nigger" is in English. Pelosi doesn't care a fig for black folks. But her father and his Italian cronies were wise enough to see that the black vote could be useful in holding on to power. So Nancy was carefully taught various political recipes using mulanyom. 
Consider, too, the members of the "Congressional Black Caucus".  The ranks of the CBC include some of the most cartoonish stereotypes of black folks that ever set foot in the public spotlight. These members are exclusively Democrat AND "progressive"; and any black Congressman who doesn't toe the CBC line is deemed to be an "Uncle Tom" and shunned. Damned near every one of them was elected to office with the help of white Democrat dollars and with votes from districts gerrymandered by white Democrat politicians.
Make no mistake. Pelosi and Reid and the people who finance them are not about to let African-Americans take over the party. It was a gamble putting Obama up for the presidency. The white Democrat leadership knew that if they put a black person who was an actual leader in the White House, he might come up with some back-sass that would endanger their carefully cultivated image of power. They found what they needed in a very skillful deliverer of ghetto votes to the Chicago Democrat political machine. I guarantee you, he was not sent on his way from the Illinois State Senate to the White House via the United States Senate before the white racist hard-left statists who control the Democrat party had ascertained that they had the controls necessary to rein him in should he imagine he was actually the most powerful individual on the planet.
Let's look at one prominent member of the Congressional Black Caucus, Representative Maxine Waters (D-California) from Oakland. She's absolutely nuts. And the rank and file of the CBC is not anything to write home about either. One gentleman (I forget his name or district) participated in a hearing about plans to locate a strike force of Marines on the island of Guam. This august member of the Congressional Black Caucus expressed his grave reservations about locating so many troops and so much heavy equipment on the island because they might weigh so much that the island would - in the words of the Member - "Tip over, and capsize"
Cripes. And yet this is the sort of person the white leadership of the Democrat party all but installs by fiat wherever they can. The Democrat leadership needs only poltroons who will vote the party line and allow themselves to be led by the nose by Pelosi through mobs of pissed-off citizens in hopes of provoking a racial incident, which will be used to gain political advantage for Pelosi and her ilk (and if no incident happens - as it did not - then they will lie and say it did). In fine, the  white racist Democrat leadership strives to allow only malleable fools to enter the membership of the House from the ranks of the African-American community.
There is no similar black caucus in the Senate because States cannot be gerrymandered for advantage, seeing that the two U.S. Senators are voted for by the entire population of each State. It was a major job for the Illinois Democrat machine to get Obama into the U.S. Senate, where he parked his ass for two years idling in neutral (so as to have no record) before being presented and marketed to us as a viable presidential candidate.
Obama and his lesser Congressional and state and local contempraries exist to follow the marching orders of their white Democrat political overseers and do their bidding. Other than that, their sole utility is to enable the use of the "race card" when Democrat shenannigans are opposed by anyone.
Any African-American politician who espouses the principals of conservatism is labled an "Uncle Tom" and lied about in the - again, white-controlled - Democrat media.
Meanwhile, back in the poor black neighborhoods, for all the Democrats have promised over the last five decades it's the same-o same-o. Enough handouts to ensure dependency and here and there a black congressman or two to let the residents of the ghetto feel like they have a voice.
That's the way the Democrat Party has conducted business since World War II. And it's racist. Cleverly masked, but it's racist nonetheless.

Monday, September 3, 2012


THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS. Remember Clint Eastwood's speech at the Republican National Convention where he spoke to an empty chair that represented "president" Obama?

Well, someone (not me) has come up with a great idea: PUT AN EMPTY CHAIR ON YOUR LAWN AND PUT A SIGN ON IT THAT SAYS "WE OWN THIS COUNTRY...WHEN SOMEBODY DOESN'T GET THE JOB DONE, YOU HIRE SONEONE ELSE" or in the alternative "we built this" or the remark of your choice.

This is better than a yard sign, it's just so do-it-yourself. Plus it's Labor Day, so you'll be right there to make sure the lefties don't try and destroy your display (although we imagine some of them will go puling to their "neighborhood associations" or maybe even to the police.)

Got a LAWN? Got a CHAIR? Got a piece of cardboard and a magic marker (or crayon or what-have-you)?

Then celebrate National Empty Chair Day right along with Labor Day, and give "president" Obama what he deserves:



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