Friday, May 31, 2013


IDIOCY MARCHES ON in our public educational system, where in Calvert County, Maryland a six year old boy was suspended from school for two weeks after being questioned by school officials for TWO FUCKING HOURS before his parents were called. The lad was so scared by the experience that he literally pissed himself.  His offense?
BRINGING A FUCKING CAP PISTOL TO SCHOOL. Thank God it wasn't loaded, claim the "authorities"; because then it would have been considered and "explosive device" and "police would have had to have been called".
Now if you are Mr. or Ms. Common Sense, you are thinking: "What the goddamn fucking FUCK is wrong with these idiots?" Well, shout Hallelujah. The Alexandria Daily Poop is here to 'splain the sitchieashun.
Whar we have here - and in other places across the country - is a full bore Leftist takeover of the administration of the public schools (and a lot of private schools, too).  There is an effort afoot to feminize the American male, starting with the youngest.
(Take a minute and get some smelling salts and sit down where you'll hit something soft if you collapse while reading this).
Part of this effort is holding events such as "Switch" or "Crossover" days wherein boys dress as girls and girls dress as boys (I am not making this up).  And recently a network featuring kids' cartoons floated the idea for an animated show in which the main character is a 12 year old boy who has a special ring. When he has to deal with bad guys, he holds up the ring and says: "You go, girl!"
This is NUTS!
But the same people who want to get YOUR SON to fantasize about being a girl aren't about to stop there. All this brouhaha about toy guns and pictures of guns and pastries chewed into vague gun shapes is part of an effort to train kids (and especially boys) that guns are scary evil things that must not be touched except by special "highly trained" agents of the State.
Notice how all this effort is being directed at BOYS more than anything else. Boys are naturally rough and tumble. Boys love to play "dodge ball" (banned almost everywhere these days). Boys love competition. So in many schools, "musical chairs" is played without a chair being removed at the end of every round.
Try telling one of the American Statist Progressives who promote these policies that they are being idiotic and you'll get an earful of pseudo-psychological blithering and be interrupted and the subject changed every time you make an undisputable point. They will not listen to you, and so long as they have any kind of authority whatsoever they will use it to maximum advantage to advance their goal of producing a nation of homosexual sissies (there are some homosexual males who are otherwise quite masculine; the ASPs want to stamp the boy out of these, too) who will be pliant to "the authorities" and (quite possibly most importantly) totally useless as warriors in defense of freedom.
You parents out there need to form an alternative group to the PTA; or take over your local PTAs in a putcsh. Start demanding the immediate ouster of any school official from the lowest teacher up through the Superintendent of Schools right on up to the Secretary of Education who advocates this seditious lunacy. And be as loud and nasty as the ASPs and make it VERY CLEAR that you are fed up with this nonsense.
Why, some places will suspend or expel a student for just SAYING the word "gun".  What if he says "I'm gun to the swimming pool after school"? What are they going (or "gun"!) to do? Alert the SWAT team to surround the aquatic center?
If this crap is not brought to a screeching halt - and soon - that event will come about. Act now.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

HOW TO GET RID OF THE IRS FOR GOOD (Satire, of course)

We were driving past the Bureau of Engraving and Printing (and printing and printing and printing world without end, Amen) last night, and we got to thinking about Obama's and Bernanke's infatuation with "quantitative easement" or, in plain words, paying off U.S. debt by just printing more money.
And it came to us that if they can just cover our tab by pumping out some more semoleons, then WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO LET THE INFERNAL REVENUERS STICK A GODDAMN FINGER UP OUR ASSHOLES EVERY APRIL??
Really, now. The 16th Amendment was passed to fund World War I, way before we adopted the Federal Reserve System. Back then, the dollar was backed by silver and gold. Nowadays the U.S. dollar just represents a share of the Gross National Product, which is the value of all the goods and services produced in these United States. 
What this means is that if the government simply printed more money to cover its expenses, the dollars we earn would be worth less, but we could keep every dime we earned and not have to dick around with forms and instructions and accountants and such every year. Instead of giving the government X dollars every year, we'd simply pay more for the stuff we buy.  This is kind of like the "Fair Tax" national sales tax, but without the expense of maintaining a huge complicated bureaucracy to administer it. 
Of course, this would require the people to keep a very close eye on the politicians in order to keep the money from going from "worth less" to simply and literally worthless. So no more crap like having the Senate take a tax bill that originated in the House, stripping out all the House language and filling it in with their own bright ideas about spending money. Repeal the 16th Amendment and replace it with an Amendment stating that all authorizations for printing more money, for spending any money, or funding any undertaking not only MUST originate in the House; but they MUST be a separate bill and that the Senate may NOT amend the authorization nor attach riders, etc.; but rather must give the House measure a straight up-or-down simple majority vote within a reasonable time frame (and spell it out, because you cannot trust a politician to decide what is "reasonable").
An additional safeguard against the fatal cheapening of the currency would be the boom in business and the growth of the economy and the ensuing wealth that would result from entrepeneuers operating free from the need to keep all those damned records and withhold all those damn taxes. The CPAs and IRS employees who would find themselves out of work could - now unimpeded by federal interference - found new enterprises and become something useful instead of the pain in the ass they are today. 
The beauty of this scheme is that people could and probably would demand that the government knock off all the damn spending once they realize that the higher prices they are paying are a direct result of the government printing all that money to cover all that spending. That, and no more IRS agents holding up things or hauling people in for audits motivated by political ideology.
We started writing this as satire, but you know, it could very well work except for one damn thing.
And that is that it would curb the sway the politicians in Washington hold over We the People. Congressional representatives would return to their home districts and get an earful worse than they got while Obamacare was being debated, and every one of their constituents would be on their ass the way they need to be. And there are a lot of people in the Congress who will let that happen over their dead bodies.
Why don't one of you talk show guys present this idea on your show? It would be fun if the dolts in the lamestream media viewed it as a serious threat and tried to drown it in blather.
No taxes of any kind for anything, just print the money needed. Hell, they do it anyway. Call our idea "Make It, Don't Take It".
Could work, who knows?

Monday, May 27, 2013


About 17 years ago I was asked by someone if I could get my father to come to D.C. and speak about his experiences as a dorsal turret gunner aboard a B24 Liberator heavy bomber flying out of Libya during World War II. Dad was a participant in the horrifying Ploesti raid, and I figured it might make an interesting talk especially since he never spent a lot of time telling us kids "war stories".
But when I popped the question, Dad scoffed and said: "If those people want to know about war, they can ride the subway to Arlington Cemetery".
Indeed. Dad had seen a bomber containing two of his best buds get hit and go down with no parachutes evident. On every mission he flew, there were men killed in action, a few times right on board the bomber he was protecting.
Death in battle is seldom quick and clean. Men fall for some minutes in an airplane spinning so violently that they are pinned and cannot bail out.  Soldiers take a bullet to the gut and bled out screaming for a medic. Sailors die in hideous fires, and they suffer no less than a victim of burning at the stake. And yet since 1775 men who are just barely out of their boyhood have stepped up to face these horrors to secure and defend our Republic and our freedom.
The statement "freedom is not free" is not just some old saying. The very attainment of freedom is more often than not achieved by use of arms, and once attained must be vigilantly watched over and defended, notably with arms. As it has been said, the Tree of Liberty needs to be refreshed from time to time with the blood of Patriots and tyrants.
The fallen warriors we honor today gave their lives so that our liberty and our Republic may prosper. It is astounding that there are those who complain about having to stand in line for an hour to cast a ballot. They might think during that hour about the men - and women - who gave their very lives so that they could cast that ballot to begin with.
How many mothers, fathers, wives, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters have seen a sedan pull up and watched two officers in full dress uniform start up the walkway; and - atremble and with eyes full of tears - hoped against hope that the visit was for some reason other than to notify them of the death of their beloved?
Go ahead and have your cookout. But remember that your freedom to have your fun came at the price of hundreds of thousands of lives. Remember to bring your guests to atttention and ask for a minute of silence to remember those who made your cookout possible.
It's a pity, but there are actually people in this country who think that what I have suggested is too much trouble and/or "silly".  If you run into one of these types, give them a copy of this post.
God rest the souls of our Honored Dead, and comfort and bless those they left behind.

Sunday, May 26, 2013


Although I now reside in Alexandria, Virginia; and even though I grew up in Huber Heights, Ohio on the outskirts of Dayton still I was born in Indianapolis, Indiana.  Therefore I have always had an interest in the "Greatest Spectacle in Racing". 

I am particularly very disappointed that Danica Patrick seems to have given up on the 500.

( For nine years I was rooting for you, Danica. Remember that year your car's nose cone got damaged and you had to have your pit crew replace it, and how you roared right back into the lead?  As I recall, you almost had that race won, but you ran low on fuel and had to pussyfoot just to make it to the finish. With a performance like that, you might just have won with a few more years and some tweaking of your fuel and tire management.)
But I am glad to see that this year it's going to be more than just a bunch of Honda engines riding on Dallara chassis. Chevy is fielding a few engines this year, too.
I remember my Dad telling me that Indy was - in addition to being a big deal of a speed contest - also a laboratory where different design details were put to the acid test and where new ideas in car manufaccture were born. (This lasted until I believe 1968 or 69 when a turbine engine was introduced. He thought it was heresy not to have a reciprocating piston engine in the race. When I pointed out what he had said about Indy being a lab for innovation, he invited me to stop being a smartass.).
Still there has been lots of innovation. About ten years ago, Indy cars were required to have a tether to keep the wheels from flying off  the car and causing mayhem if there was a wreck And the new "Steel, Aluminum and Foam Energy Reducing" SAFER barrier was placed around the track to reduce injuries caused by hitting the wall at 1/3 the speed of sound. 
Ah, yes. The wrecks. Anyone who says he doesn't think that the wrecks are one of the best things about the show probably says he reads Playboy and Penthouse for the articles (and is about as believable). The danger of operating a vehicle going over 200 MPH alongside other drivers who are doing likewise is inherently dangerous, and the crashes are the proof of that pudding. 
I'd like to watch the 500 this year, but I have to be sleeping seeing as how I work 7P to 7A. One thing I wonder is how the crowd will treat Jim Nabors when he sings "Back Home Again (in Indiana)" since he has announced that he is marrying another man. Indy fans are a pretty conservative lot (except for the hipsters smoking grass in the infield.)
Oh well. I'll catch clips of the race later, I suppose. Meanwhile, Memorial Day 2013 post is coming tomorrow about this time. See you then. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013


One theme that has run through this blog from the outset is the disdain in which the American Statist Progressives who have taken over the Democrat Party hold the Constitution and particularly the enumerations of rights in the first ten amendments commonly known as the Bill of Rights.

They believe in the First Amendment freedom of speech... so long as they agree with the speech. Otherwise it's ban, censor, shout down and even criminalize speech they don't agree with. And a woman charging admission to people so they can watch her spread melted chocolate all over her naked body is "protected speech"; as is putting a Crucifix upside-down in a jar of urine and applying for and recieving a grant of fifty large from the federal government (which means YOU THE TAXPAYER); and if the grant is denied it's censorship.
On the other hand, let someone publish, tongue in cheek, a rejoinder to the admonishment that "There is no excuse for domestic violence" by saying: "why, of course there is. Undercooking the eggs at breakfast, forgetting the proportions of vermouth to scotch in a Rob Roy, etc.; after she's been told umpteen times"; and publish that EVEN AS A SATIRE and you will likely have an angry mob of FemiNazis at your door unless they know you have a firearm (like I do).
The First Amendment right to freely associate and assemble is okey-dokey with the ASPs as long as it's an unruly mob of jejune spoiled brats who care less than dogs about where they crap and piss and who leave injured police officers and one helluva mess wherever they "associate and assemble" to demand that the government confiscate other people's money and give it to them.
On the other hand, let the TEA party have a nice, quiet peaceful rally in which the participants seek to preserve the Constitution and bring the federal government back into line, and that is somehow a threat to the Republic and must be stopped.
Likewise the free exercise of religion and the prohibition against the passage of laws "respecting an establishment of religion" has been creatively (and capriciously and arbitrarily) interpreted by the ASPs. Proponents of Witchcraft, Buddhism, paganism, Satanism, Mahometanism ("Islam") and indeed everything other than what C.S. Lewis called "mere Christianity" are to be "tolerated".  But other than sects which exist to promote leftist ideals under the veneer (and the thinner the veneer the better) of worshipping Christ, Christianity needs - by the lights of the ASPs - to be restricted as severely as they can get away with.
The Second Amendment is particularly hated by the ASPs, since their goal is to reduce we peons under absolute dependence on the government. And so the ASPs blow off the Second Amendment as something which just generally authorizes the National Guard and does not apply to we proles on the street.
(Mind you, the ASPs are always able to get permits for their own firearms, since they are National Treasures and must be able to protect themselves.)
Every limitation on government power and every guarantee of individual rights in our entire Constitution is utterly disdained by the ASP left, unless it suits their purposes. Then and only then does it become Holy Writ, enscribed on stone from On High to be honored and respected without question, Amen Hallelujah. Once a passage or clause or amendment presents an obstacle to the ASP agenda, however, it is denounced as "outmioded" and/or "obsolete"; or - and commonly - ever-more-tortured legal exemptions are carved out by means of clever and creative "reasoning" relying on flawed precedent (and increasingly precedent deriving from legal systems outside the U.S.) and a careful choice of judicial officials.
But there is one part of one Amendment that is unconditionally Holy Writ to the ASPs: the Fifth Amendment right to not be compelled to be a witness against oneself. Because if it were possible to put these lice under oath and compel them to tell the truth under pain of perjury, the dam would burst and the prisons would be filled with corrupt ASPs. 
Case in point: Lois "Lois Lame" Lerner, the IRS official responsible for determining "not for profit" status for organizations yesterday invoked her Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination when called to testify about the IRS scandal.
But Lois Lame might have just screwed herself. Prior to invoking the Fifth Amendment, she gave a long speech about her innocence and her denial of havig done anything wrong. 
But in the American judicial system, you have two  options when testifying. You can either take the stand and defend yourself OR refuse altogether. Once you take the stand and make an exculpatory statement, you MUST then submit to questioning under oath. (In a police custodial interview, you may waive your right to remai silent and then re-instate it at any time; but under a hearing when you have been sworn in you may not just take the stand and profess your complete innocence and then refuse to be cross-examined.)
Already there are calls in Congress for Lois Lame to be recalled and forced to tell the truth. So if you will excuse us, we need to run to the 7-11 for a case of brewski and a couple pans of Jiffi-Pop. This is getting good...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Lest anyone think I haven't posted in a few days out of some kind of fear of the Administration, the fact is  I have been quite busy renewing my hack permit. Among other things this involves visits to the DMV and other government entities, and by the time I get through dealing with the idiots my taxes pay for, I'm too pooped to write much of anything.

Besides which, writing about this triple-dip scandal and the attendant cover-up is like trying to play Wack-A-Mole while simultaneously refereeing a game of 43 man Squamish.
I should be back in a few days. Until then, read Britebart and listen to Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levine (and of course if you can get him, Chris Plante. He's local to D.C. but "I Heart Radio" has him on WMAL 630 AM and 105.9 FM. Ciao for now and see you in a few days.

Thursday, May 16, 2013


FOR THOSE OF OUR READERS TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER, the title of this post is taken from the old "Snuffy Smith" comic strip.  Snuffy was a stereotypical hillbilly moonshiner, and when the IRS (which was in charge of collecting the Federal whiskey tax before BATFE took over) came after his still, he'd yell "INFERNAL REVENOOERS!" as he blasted away at them with his cap-and-ball rifle.
Lots of folks these days would like to blast away at the IRS; and for good reason. This agency has powers not held by any other law enforcement agency in this nation. You don't have to tell the cops where you work or how much money you make, even if they ask you. But you have to tell this and much more to the Internal Revenue Service.

The Infernal Revenuers can haul you in for an audit on a whim. They have an expedited lien system so they can slap liens on any property you have  so fast it would make your head swim. And in one notable case during the 1980s, the IRS took over and operated a homosexual strip joint right across from the FBI on 9th Street NW in D.C. to satisfy a tax debt owed by the owner of the club. No, really. They did.

The Infernal Revenuers are the folks who approve tax exenptions for non-profit groups and political and other associations. And as has been discovered they are not above dragging their feet on these exemptions and using their other unique powers against those deemed by an Administration to be politically or socially undesireable.

In the scrum resulting from the current IRS scandal, the agency's main defense has been that they don't know what they are doing. This is entirely believable, as the Infernal Revenuers maintain a "hot line" one can call for an explanation of the Internal Revenue Code. But if some Infernal Revenuer on that line gives you advice and you follow it; and if some other Infernal Revenuer looks at your return and has a differing opinion (or if the first guy was wrong); YOU get hauled in and get told it is YOUR fault (for being stupid enough to follow the advice of an Infernal Revenuer, we suppose).

We believe it was Hustler magazine that, back in the late 70s ran an article calling the IRS the "American Gestapo".  If I were a former member of the Gestapo, I'd have sued Hustler for defamation.

Against all of the anger directed at the IRS and in response to those who object to their ability to demand answers to fresh questions about one's finances, the Infernal Revenuers have usually trottted out the fact that the IRS was the agency that got Al Capone - for tax evasion.

But Al Capone got his money by exploiting he fact that the Federal government had decided to try to insert itself into the affairs of private citizens by enacting Prohibition. Had not the Federal government pushed for and enacted the 19th Amendment and the Volstead Act, Al Capone would have been nothing more than a Corsican pimp, easily handled by the Chicago Police vice squad.

The Infernal Revenuers have no place in a free Republic. It is high time the 16th Amendment was repealed, and taxes be "apportioned among the Several States" as mandated in the main body of the Constitution, with perhaps a flat tax of no more than 10 percent in the event of war.

As it stands, these Infernal Revenuers - who defend themselves against charges of harrassing conservative personages and groups by saying that they are nincompoops - are poised to take over managing this republic's health care system.

No government agency ought to have this much power over the citizenry. The IRS and the 16th Amendment ought to be abolished ASAP,  and taxation carried out by the (much more localized and responsive) means dictated by the Founders in the first place. 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


On top of the Benghazi scandal, we lately learn of the IRS harrassment of conservative groups AND the Justice Department spying on news organizations.  (And this last item may just serve to turn the media against Obama at long last.)
This is Watergate all over again (except as we said no one got killed in Watergate. FOUR AMERICANS DIED in Benghazi).  In fact, Article II of the Articles of Impeachment filed against President Richard Milhous Nixon accused Nixon of using the IRS to violate the rights of his political enemies. And during this whole thing, Obama and his flunkies have tried to put the blame on some guy who made a You Tube video and on some low-level schlemiels in the Cincinnati office of the IRS and in the Justice Department.
Of course Obama is trying like mad to put up Corleone family style "buffers". The Administration is stonewalling like mad. Well, Obama did say he'd be "transparent"; and his and his flunkies' lies are exactly that: transparent falsehoods.
And now he's gone and pissed off the media.
We just hope Michelle and the girls like eggs. Obama is laying one after another, and all those chickens coming home to roost ought to keep the First Family in omelets right up until Big Daddy's ass is impeached and he is convicted and thrown out of the Big White House. Chief Justice Roberts, get ready to sew gold stripes onto the sleeves of your robe.

Saturday, May 11, 2013


"Call what "Waterlessgate"? you may ask. Of course we are talking about the dog's breakfast of a scandal that has finally boiled up out of the Current Resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest's handling of the attacks on our (what the Administration is now trying to avoid calling) Consulate in Benghazi, Libya on the tenth anniversary of the September 11th 2001 attacks on New York and Arlington, Virginia (a third attack, as you remember, was thwarted when the hijacked passengers of the fourth airliner rebelled).
One reasson we call this "Waterlessgate" is because it occurred in the desert. But the second, better reason is that  none of the Current Resident's flunkies' explanations can hold water for ten seconds. 
We have said this before: why in the FUCK; seeing how we had a diplomatic mission in a town absolutely CRAWLING with al-Qaeda and seeing as how the date was the TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE 2001 SEPTEMBER 11 ATTACKS ON THIS NATION; was there not combat-ready security already in place and prepared? ESPECIALLY since the American Ambassador to Libya had PLEADED for it?   Just that ONE fact shows plainly that Current Resident Obama either (1) has shit instead of brains,  or (2) didn't give a flying fuck. Either way, he's completely unfit to be Commander in Chief.

From the beginning, Obama and his flunkies lied their asses off. First they tried to say that this was "a riot" resulting from a Moslem overreaction to some video some yahoo posted on You Tube. But rioters don't bring AK47s and rocket propelled grenade launchers to the riot.

And the Foreign Service and military people at Benghazi weren't a bunch of clueless kids like the people who voted for the Current Resident. They knew a planned and coordinated assault when they go through one. Various people began to come forward, and the tactics of the Obama Administration in trying to sweep this scandal under the rug were reduced to utter, transparent lies.

Right now, the whole thing is really starting to resemble Watergate, right down to the Administration trying to minimize everything now that the media cannot ignore the facts ("Third rate burglary" with Watergate, "What does it matter?" and "That was a long time ago" with Benghazi.) One thing different from Watergate is that with Watergate, nobody DIED.

It is hard to see why anybody in politics or the media (except for the Congressional Black Caucus) won't eventually realize that the Current Resident is an unqualified and very likely criminal goofball. We may not have to wait until the Republicans retake the Senate for Obama to be impeached.

Hope springs eternal...


Thursday, May 9, 2013


We had intended to write about the Benghazi hearings today, but in accordance with our belief that lesser stupidity founds and nourishes greater stupidity we find it more needful to inform our readership about several things germane to the Second Amendment (and in one instance, also the First Amendment) that are being reported in the news today.
Before I start in on this one, I want to remind everyone that my Second Amendment bona fides are sterling. As I have stated elsewhere in this blog, I believe the right to Keep and Bear Arms includes everything up to and including the standard equipment of a modern light infantryman, which in this country includes a fully automatic select-fire rifle. I also believe that - especially if you believe that felons should have the right to vote - convicted felons should regain their Second Amendment rights when they are released from the supervison of the criminal justice system (this means out of prison and having completed parole and any form of probation).
However, I also believe in OBEYING THE FUCKING LAW, so I am not about to purchase a fully automatic weapon without going through the process mandated for legal possession of one (and yes, I could obtain one legally but it's a ton of paperwork and hassle and full-auto guns go for starting at about fifteen grand, so fuck that noise.)  Likewise I am not going to provide any felons with any weapons, no matter how exemplary their conduct has been).
And since I believe in obeying the law, I am also not going to be present if an event being planned by some Internet nutball here in Virginia is proposing. This gentleman proposes having a massive group of gun owners gather at Memorial Bridge on July 4th and march into the District of Columbia CARRYING LOADED RIFLES!!!
Jeeeeeeeezzzzuuussss. Is he INSANE? IF this march takes place, it will be met at the District line by a corps of heavily armed police. THEN WHAT, YOU IDIOT?   Have you even thought about the possibility that among your marchers might be an anti-gun shithead who will light up a pack of firecrackers, intending to make the police think they are being fired upon?? Not to mention that carrying a firearm on one's person - unless one is a police officer or a "special police officer" or otherwise permitted by the D.C. government - IS A FELONY. You will lose both your firearms AND your right to have them, and quite likely your freedom for a few years. If, that is, something doesn't happen to provoke a firefight.
Anybody thinking about going along on this "march" ought to think again.
However, I must say that the same police agencies warning against this march as a "violation of D.C. and federal law" need to explain why it is that they allowed the "Occupy" movement to be a gigantic, unlawful, public-pooping filthy and more than occasionally violent pain in the ass for several months. These guys might be idiots, but all they want to do is carry their weapons into D.C., march around the Capitol a couple times, and go back home. And I bet you not one of them would even think about crapping on a police car, either.
Moving on...
Much has been made in the media recently about fully-functional firearms which can supposedly be made by a process known as "3-D printing". Such firearms (say the media and the anti-gun shills) would be "virtually undetectable" and could be "made by anyone, even crazy people and felons"

"3-D printing does indeed exist. Basically a 3-dimensional object can be "printed" from layers of plastic. And indeed certain parts of firearms - notably lower recievers, magazines, and slides - can be manufactured in this manner.

But anyone who says that 3-D printing can be used to manufacture a functioning firearm entirely out of plastic is either a damn fool or a damn liar with an agenda.

Because not only are metal springs needed to operate a weapon, in order to fire even a .22 cartridge safely, a metal chamber is needed. The pressure and heat developed by a fired round would likely melt and deform the chamber The next thing that would likely happen is the firearm exploding in the shooter's face.

Nevertheless, grandstanding politicians are parading in front of the TV cameras to announce their plans to pass laws against manufacturing "plastic guns".  While they are at it, they might think about outlawing flying "magic carpets" as a threat to aviation.

I don't care how much these dildoes say "plastic guns" are possible, THEY ARE NOT.

And yet people fall for this garbage. Cripes.


Finally, we bring the idocy full-circle.  Yet another case - this time in Virginia - has arisen wherein some grade-school youngster has been "playing Army" or some such thing with another boy and has been busted for it, of course with the usual involvment of police officers who have better things to do.

This particular kid pointed a pencil at some other boy and said something like :rat a tat tat; imitating a machine gun. For that, he got a multiple-day suspension and a lecture; and he is lucky he wasn't hauled into juvenile court. And of course the school officials when interviewed by the media explained exactly why some kid going :rat tat tat with a pencil is deemed to be "threatening with a deadly weapon"


Here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we are at a loss for words. We look at the above examples of idiocy, and we wonder how long our sacred republic can survive, seeing as we are in the thrall of such imbeciles as have been described above.

Sunday, May 5, 2013


WE have pointed out previously the efforts of media to influence children in particularly the sections of the print media aimed at children. The Washington Post for example ran two articles in the "Kids' Post" section about the Electoral College before and after the 2000 Presidential election.
In the first article, seeing that the election would be close and that Al Gore might only win with an Electoral College decision overriding the majority vote; the Post told the kiddies that the Electoral College was instituted as a safeguard against the People making "a bad choice".  No, really, that's what they told YOUR KIDS (or maybe you, if you were a kid back then but are an adult now).
But once the Electoral College overrode a majority popular vote in favor of GEORGE W. BUSH (a majority so slim it was within the margin of error for current vote-counting technology, by the way); the "Kids' Post" explained that the Electoral College was obsolete and was never intended to override the majority. 
Now today comes "Slylock Fox"; a syndicated Sunday feature that asks its youthful readers to guess how Slylock solved a mystery. In today's panel one of the strip's main villains, an evil scientist named "Count Weirdly",  is lecturing at a "global warming" conference. He is demonstrating that ice in a tumbler melting does not raise the water level in the tumbler whatsoever, and so "global warming" will not raise the sea level. "Slylock" points out that not all polar ice is over water, but "a lot" of it is on land, and if that ice melts it will raise sea level.
This argument about floating ice not raising sea level with its melting has in fact been used by those who seek to debunk the prediction of the effects of "global warming".  But this argument has been applied only to the Arctic ice cap, which is indeed all "sea ice".  There is a good deal of "land ice" at the South Pole, but so far all that has come of anything which might be related to "global warming" is the breaking off of part of the "Ross ice shelf"; which is really nothing more than the "calving" of an iceberg from a glacier. Big deal. And it's not even the point the "Slylock" strip is trying to make.
In the larger debate about "global warming" and mankind's alleged role in it, this melting-ice business is a side issue. What the "Slylock" strip intends is to put it into the minds of kids that those in the scientific community who doubt that "global warming" is taking place (and/or that human activity has little or nothing to do with it) are evil, insane, malevolent beings who are trying to fool everybody so that all the cute cuddly polar bears will drown (or some such nonsense).
Parents, you need to watch what your kids are reading. Kids, I know some of you read this blog. If you are under the age of sixteen, STOP IT UNTIL YOU ARE SIXTEEN because I use some cuss words here and I talk about grownup stuff you really don't need to be distracted with (and how ironic is it that a lot of what I talk about involves adults who think and act like children?).
But I'll tell you this much: Unlike "Kids' Post" and "Slylock Fox", here at the Alexandria Daily Poop you will read the truth.
Parents, we at the Alexandria Daily Poop urge you to get busy and write the jerks who publish "Slylock Fox"; and tell them that you will explain the world to your kids, and not them.

Saturday, May 4, 2013


A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR and he''s wearing what is obviously a cowboy hat that has seen better days. The crown has a few rips and a couple of bullet holes; and the brim is all frayed and floppy and sloppy; and the whole thing looks sort of moth-eaten.
SO, the bartender points at the hat, and asks the guy: "What kinda hat is that? A Texas Stetson??
To which the guy wearing the hat says: "Hail no! This here's a Kentucky derby!"
See, folks, today is the Kentucky Derby. So the joke is that a "Kentucky derby" a hat like some hillbilly might wear. Get it?
Forget it.

Friday, May 3, 2013


No, unfortunately no one has slipped LSD into your orange juice, you read the headline right. While Obama is ordering the Defense department to fulough workers to comply with his "sequester", he has also ordered the Defense department to purchase "renewable bio-fuels" at FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS PER GALLON.

Number one, if "bio-fuel" costs that much, then it is a complete freaking BOONDOGGLE.  This makes hundred-dollar hammers and three hundred dollar toilet seats look like positive bargains. What's the idea of making the military "green" anyway? War is never going to be "green". It is, always has been and always will be a filthy dirty grimy bloody horrific business.
But there is a lot of purely political garbage involved with this "green fuel" business. The price of the fuel doesn't represent its worth, it represents a huge price support for the manufacturers. Hell, didn't they say that "biodiesel" would be cleaner and cheaper?
But, number two, even though throwing out this "green fuel" program would save enough money to satisfy the Defense sequester requirements, Obama WANTS there to be maximum pain to individual people and maximum damage to the economy (so that he can try and blame it on the Republicans). Furloughing essential employees and wasting money by paying more than ten times what it is worth for fuel is a great way to accomplish both goals.
Folks, I can't get a lot done just by writing this little obscure blog. You people who read this need to tell others, and then you all need to jump down the throats of your Senators and Congressmen about this. And don't let them change the subject or talk down to you, either. It's high time they were reminded that they are wasting OUR HARD EARNED MONEY and helping ruin the Republic in the process. 


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