OUR ANNUAL REVIEW OF 2016, THE IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD, AND PREDICTIONS FOR 2017v

Well, gentle readers, it has been some few years since we put out the New Year's Eve post. We are at the moment propped up in the sack enjoying breakfast and preparing to deal with the celebrating public for the next 36 hours (or more). We will have OUR champagne when we are finally done (Actually our traditional sparkling wine here at the ADP is Freixenet Black Spanish,which isn't - strictly speaking - Champagne; so sue us. So without further ado, let us begin with our

REVIEW OF 2016

This final year of the administration - if it can be called that - of White House Resident Barack Hussein Obama has been a real roller-coaster of ups and downs. A mind-boggling quantity of celebrities and entertainers passed away this year (But Mick Jagger evidently endureth forever). But this being an election year, politics overlaid nearly everything that was happening. And of course with the Left controlling the media just about everything was linked in some way with a sideways snark at the man they were trying to prevent from gaining the White House, our President-Elect Donald J. Trump. 

Politics, politics, politics. 2016 was all about politics, and particularly the increasingly desperate efforts of the American Statist Progressives (ASPs, because they are a bunch of treacherous vipers) to prevent the Republicans from controlling all three branches of the Federal government. And oddly enough, the weapon they thought they had was the self-same Donald Trump; who will now be sworn in on January 20th as President of the United States of America. 

The highest prize in this year's elections was of course the say in who will be nominated to the Supreme Court. This was made unfathomably more important by the untimely - and many say suspicious - death of conservative lion Antonin Scalia. And this fact alone - that Donald Trump will make those calls and not Hillary Clinton - has been the single most powerful driving force behind the unhinged protests of the ASPs and their brainwashed adherents. 

Thus Donald J. Trump is not only TIME magazine's "Person of the Year" for 2016. In our opinion Trump IS 2016 personified. We have never seen such a convulsion of the Left in this country as they realized that their whole hundred years work in their effort to cement socialism to our daily lives was about to collapse under the administration of Donald Trump. And the ASPs will not give up (we are thinking of that line in the movie Gladiator where a Roman general says that someone should tell the Germans that they've been conquered) but will continue to be as much of a pain in the ass as possible. 

THE 2016 IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD 

Since we haven't done this for a few years, a recap on the purpose and qualifications for this "prize" may be in order.

"Idiot of the Year" is awarded not to some nationally known doofus but rather to someone we have met in the course of our day-to-day operation of a taxicab in the National Capital Region. This is because we believe that idiocy on a large scale is underpinned by idiocy on a small scale. For instance, millions of "little" idiots elected Barack Obama and his idiot administration. 

Past recipients have been a federal government employee who upon being told the significance of December 7th wished us "Happy Pearl Harbor Day" (yeesh) and a man who summoned us to open the doors to his vehicle because he had locked his keys in, and then did not want to pay us because we merely reached into the window he had left open and retrieved his keys. 

The successful candidate for Idiot of the Year will say, do or brag about something in my presence which is idiotically incommensurate with his or her level of social standing, wealth, and/or education. People who are genuinely retarded or otherwise mentally defective are disqualified, since it's not their fault they are simpletons. Also alcohol and substance intoxication are disqualifying factors, as in this competition they are "performance enhancing drugs". However, bragging (while sober) about some stupid thing one did whilst drunk or high puts you into the running. Candidates for Idiot of the Year are people who damn well ought to know better.

And now we announce and award our traditional prize to the winner of 

THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP ANNUAL

IDIOT

OF

ing 

THE

YEAR

2016!

A few months ago we were waiting in front of a D.C. office building waiting for a passenger. Directly over our head was a sign that said "NO PARKING - ENTRANCE". In front of us was a "NO PARKING - BUS ZONE" sign and in back of us was a red curb with a fire hydrant in the middle of the red zone. Presently some guy in a BMW pulled up alongside me and asked: 

"CAN I PARK HERE?"

Cripes. 

Yes, of course you may, you stupid bastard. See, I not only drive a cab, but I'm also in charge of parking control for the entire DC Metropolitan Area. If you get towed, just tell them I said you could park there and they'll release your car. Hell, they'll even deliver it to you, on my orders. Never mind the signs and the painted curb. I'm feeling generous today, so just park wherever you want. 

You, you idiot, are a symptom of what's wrong with this entire country. You want to make what is OBVIOUSLY a WRONG choice and think if you get someone - ANYONE - to validate it, it'll be okay. It won't. When your car gets towed, you won't blame yourself, you'll blame ME even though it was YOUR responsibility to READ THE DAMN SIGNS AND OBEY THEM!

And to top it off, you are almost as old as me and not some idiot Millennial. When MY generation acts as stupidly as the present crop of young adults, it's nothing short of alarming. 

And so you, Mr. "Ask the cabbie for permission to break the law" are the recipient of the dubious honor of being named 

IDIOT OF THE YEAR 2016!

As usual, the "prize" is our suggestion to you that you and your offspring if any get sterilized as to avoid bringing in another generation of imbeciles. We have enough of you already.

OUR PREDICTIONS FOR 2017

In the upcoming sentencing phase of the trial of convicted mass murderer Dylann Roof, it will be revealed that the "family secret" he was trying to conceal by acting as his own counsel and calling no witnesses is that Roof is bisexual and was engaged in a sexual relationship with a family member; perhaps his own mother: and would sooner die than have this brought to light. Roof will be sentenced to life without parole and will seek protection with some "ARYAN" gang in prison, and wind up as the sexual property of some Nazi. 

Having eliminated the "60 votes for closure of debate" rule, some Democrat senator will drop dead trying to filibuster the old fashioned way (by just not shutting up when he has the floor). And good riddance. 

Donald Trump will continue to astonish and amaze opponents and friends alike with his adroit handling of the government. Within the year the position of the United States on the world stage will be restored as the world's pre-eminent superpower. 

And the ASPs will continue their lunacy until everyone (almost) finally percieves them to be the depraved loons they are. 

Russia and the USA will finally get the Middle East under control. The war on the extremist radical Islamists will be waged properly: ie; until they surrender or are all dead. 

And it is our hope here at the ADP that each and every one of our gentle readers has a very happy and prosperous New Year in 2017. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017 FROM THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP!

A TINY BIT OF WATER TURNS OUT TO BE THE REASON FOR THAT LAST POST

Before I begin, gentle readers, I would like to tell you that my Christmas turned out to be mostly okay. I did have to work for more than 24 hours straight to get caught up with the room rent, but I did get to meet up with some very good friends and have a nice Christmas dinner. Seeing as how I've been talking almost no one but cab company management, auto mechanics and the management here at this motel for more than 14 days just a few words with friends were wonderfully restorative. 

As it turns out, the problem is more than likely water vapor inside the interface between the control module in the car and the various systems. When it gets cold enough and humid enough, the vapor condenses and the damn computer can't tell the anti-theft module there's a valid key in the ignition, thus no start. This may also explain the intermittent nature of several other irksome - but mostly not disabling - problems I have been experiencing. 

So I probably won't have to spend another day at the shop until it's convenient, since I've developed a method for coping with the problem. It's still a whole megillah to get the damn thing started in the morning. It entails re-setting the system by disconnecting the battery, waiting 20 seconds, re-connecting it and then putting the key in "run"and waiting until the wiring has heated up enough to re-vaporize the mist. 

Simple. And it only took me 14 days and about three grand in lost revenue to find out. 

Oh well. Once again, Merry Christmas.

CHRISTMAS 2016

Well, here it is Christmas and I'm about miserable. "Between residences" and living in a  $300 per week motel, and maybe soon in my cab because the hack developed problems with its anti-theft system and for almost two weeks it just flat refused to permit me to start it. The good news is that the mechanic and I found a way to reset the system and it mostly starts up on the first or second try. So if by some miracle I go out tonight and work 24 hours in a row and don't wind up with every nitwit I pick up shoving a plastic rectangle in my face instead of cash, I might be able to get caught up here.  But I've lost almost two grand in income because of that damned cab, and instead of buying everybody a bottle of Benedictine D.O.M. I am struggling to stay out of the cold. 

But for all that, I'm thankful that I'm living here in the USA and not in some war-torn hellhole on the other side of the globe. And I'm happy that my friends have kids and grandkids who are for one night out of the year actually eager to go to sleep. 

And so I'm hoping for a "Christmas miracle" in the next 24 hours. And  I (and you) shouldn't lose sight of the true Miracle of Christmas: The birth of The Savior 2016 years ago. He watches over me, so I'll be all right. And so will you and yours. 

A very merry Christmas to all.

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MORE ON THE ALLEGED "RUSSIAN ELECTION HACK"

It has been given to us to understand that those diabolical Russians did not swing the outcome of the election to Trump by phonying up the vote tally. 

This of course comes as no surprise to us, for reasons we have given in our previous post on this subject. We note that the leftist media has never in any of this directly said that the voting totals were affected by the alleged "Russian hack"; but it has been strongly implied that this was exactly what happened. 

Once, however the weasels had their backs against the wall, the allegation was made that the Russians had "hacked" both the Republican AND the Democrat National Committees and ignored the derogatory things they unearthed about the Republicans and spread around the dirt they found on the Democrats. This, it is alleged, "influenced" the election. 

Well, let's see...

Among the things unearthed and distributed by somebody - maybe the Russians, maybe Wikileaks, whoever - was an e-mail from Clinton campaign chief John Podesta bitching about "needy Latinos" whining and wanting stuff. 

Now, if Podesta had never written that e-mail; then the true attitude of the Democrat Party toward Latinos - that by the lights of the Democrats they are people who should vote Democrat and accept what they get (which will be as little as possible) and not bitch - would have never been exposed. 

Now if this were a false allegation, the Democrats could have countered it with the truth. But now all they are left with is whining about how it is "unfair" that people now know the truth about their attitude toward the minorities they allegedly are trying to help.

It's a laff riot watching the Democrats and their shills in the media melt down over this. Allegations that the info hack was urged by Trump are being pushed. Meanwhile almost 60 percent of the American people think that the Democrats are full of shit. 

Meanwhile there is growing evidence that a supporter of  Bernie Sanders - a DNC staffer - leaked these Podesta e-mails as revenge for the (proven) DNC rigging of the Democrat primary in favor of Hillary Clinton. 

Is Podesta a Russian? Maybe that's what they mean by "Russian".

TRUMP HAS EVERYONE'S PRECIOUS PANTIES IN A TWIST

OH NO! Trump just nominated a "climate change denier" to the EPA! All you lefties head for the rooftops and shout the alarm!

MY GOD! Trump just picked a guy who thinks climate change is real to be Secretary of State! Plus the nominee advocated gay Scoutmasters! Oh, NO! All you righties get on the talk shows and denounce this!

OH, MY HEAVENS! Look at all the former Generals Trump has nominated for various positions! Is he planning to foment a military takeover with himself as Commander in Chief? Will his first act be a coup d'etat? What is Trump planning on doing?

Two things. 

First, Trump is putting together an Administration of people he feels are best qualified to run the agencies he appoints them to. As he sees it, their administrative skills are best suited for the jobs he appoints them to. And he will be the boss and they will damn do as they are told and they will know it. 

Second, he is splitting his critics on both sides, causing them to get confused and unhinged, nattering about his choices on both sides of the issues.

If you want to know about Trump, I'll tell you a story about a little boy of two whose family had a tradition of setting before a boy on his second birthday a Bible, an (empty) miniature liquor bottle, and a dollar bill. The idea was to predict the kid's future.

If he picked up the Bible, for instance he would go into the Ministry.

If he picked up the liquor bottle, he'd be an entertainer.

And if he picked up the dollar, he'd be a businessman. 

So when Junior toddled over and picked up the Bible, his mother smiled and touched her heart, as she always had wished her son to be a preacher. 

But then the toddler tucked the Holy Book underneath his arm, stuffed the dollar in his pocket, grabbed the liquor bottle, and toddled away. 

His mom's jaw dropped with astonishment, and her husband looked at her and said:

"Well I'll be damned, Madge. The boy's gonna be a politician!"

We think the kid's name was Donald J. Trump. 

DID THE RUSSIANS "HACK" OUR PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION? (no)

As this is being written we are watching some guy on Chicken Noodle News (CNN) going on and on about how the charge that Russia may have gained access to the vote-tallying infrastructure and manipulated the 2016 election to be so serious as to warrant a complete (and politically noisy, which is the real point) investigation.  

Let's take a look at some facts.

The United States of America consists of 50 states plus several territories having from 3 to 55 "electoral votes". Each of these States are divided into Counties, with over 3,000 counties in total. Each of these counties is further divided into voting precincts, with some having hundreds. So a conservative estimate would put the total at 30,000 precincts. 

Each of the counties (or independent cities like Alexandria, Baltimore, St. Louis and Carson City) establishes how votes shall be cast. The methods used range from simple paper ballots in a box through those old clunky lever-actuated voting machines through marked paper ballots which are electronically counted right up to totally electronic voting machines (which are self contained and not directly connected to cyberspace). 

Typically, precincts transmit the vote tally by some secure means - with observers from both parties monitoring the process - to the County or City. The Counties and Cities then transmit the totals - after verification and again under the observation of poll watchers - to the Secretary of State for the State in which the votes were cast. The State Secretary of State then certifies the vote and passes it to the Federal Election Commission using secure facilities and verification procedures. 

For any entity foreign or domestic to "hack" the vote so egregiously as to affect the outcome , the effort would entail doing so in a way that the aforementioned secure procedures would not detect such a massive discrepancy at one point or another. 

We are not saying here that the Russians might not have tried  such shenanigans. But here in America we have the world's best hackers. And most of them come down on the side of Hillary Clinton and her ilk. If anyone in the world tried to electronically corrupt our election, they - and not the Russians - are the first suspects. 

Finally, we find it surprising that these accusations come from the same bunch of American Statist Progressives who are so opposed to requiring a valid photo identification to ensure ballot integrity. if there is a problem with the integrity of the vote in America, it lies with the domestic threat thereto, and NOT with "The Russians". 

Case closed.

REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR

Three quarters of a century ago, the Empire of Japan mounted a naval based air raid on the United States military installations in Hawaii. The main target was the U.S. Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor, but the attackers did not neglect the air strips at Wheeeler and Ford fields. It was a complete surprise in that the Japanese delegation  to Washington was at that very hour meeting with our Secretary of State in talks aimed at preserving peace. 

Every battleship in the Pacific Fleet was damaged. Four, most notably the USS Arizona were sunk. 

2,408 American soldiers and sailors and 68 civilians were killed.

The next day, President Franklin Roosevelt asked for and obtained from Congress a formal Declaration of War. Treaty obligations forced Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy to declare war on the United States, and on December 11 1941 we declared war on them, too. 

Less than three and one half years later, Adolf Hitler committed suicide as allied forces closed in on Berlin. Less than three months after that, Japan surrendered after having twice tasted the fire of nuclear weaponry. 

On September 11 2001 these United States were again attacked by surprise, with a similar amount of casualties. The ensuing conflict has gone one nearly four times as long as it took us to beat out three enemies on two fronts in World War II. We need to remember Pearl Harbor, and remember how we brought three well-armed and determined criminal regimes to their knees in three years and nine months - not 15 years and change. 

President-elect Trump, once you are sworn in, remember Pearl Harbor. Let's get busy and finish this.

"FAKE NEWS" IS IDIOTS WHO THINK THE ONION IS A LEGIT NEWSPAPER

Although we wouldn't put it past Clinton campaign official Norman Podesta to be operating a whorehouse for kiddie-diddlers out of a pizzeria run by one of David Brock's old boyfriends, we rather doubt there is anything to the lurid claims circulating via "Twitter" and such. 

From what we can tell, this whole "pizzagate" matter started as a rumor on some social network and then "went viral"; which is the online term for everybody sharing idle gossip as if it were Gospel.

The Democrats and their media surrogates however see the problem as a result of people being allowed to read "unfiltered" news. Well, no it isn't. What's wrong here is that the very idiots that the Democrats had spent years cultivating as credulous boobs saw some sort of satire or parody about a pedophile ring being operated out of some DC pizza parlor and treated the story as if it were real life. 

There is no "fake news". There are only very real idiots.

THE TEN STRONG THINGS (From the Talmud)

THE TEN STRONG THINGS

There are ten things which have strength:

IRON is strong, but fire melts it

FIRE is strong, but water quenches it

WATER is strong, but it evaporates to clouds

CLOUDS are strong, but the 

WIND blows them away.

MAN is strong, but fear casts him down.

FEAR is strong but sleep overcomes it

SLEEP is strong, yet

DEATH is stronger still; yet

LOVING KINDNESS overcomes even death.

IS THE MARK OF THE BEAST IN YOUR WALLET?

As a cab driver my hatred for plastic payment is well known. As I say, we cabbies need to buy gasoline and lunch, etc TODAY NOT TOMORROW OR NEXT WEEK. It really irks me that a bunch of politicians have mandated that people can expect a cab driver they hail off the street will accept their piece of crap plastic in payment. Flag my hack, and I want CASH you moron. 

However just the other day I was reading in the Book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ to Saint John, and a chill ran through me. It was the part where was said that the Beast caused all people to receive a mark in their right hands or foreheads, and without that mark no one could buy or sell. 

For years now there has been an ongoing attempt to get everyone to use plastic to pay for every damn thing they buy. "Cash back" (actually electronic credits) offers, extended "frequent flier miles", and other goodies are used to ensure that you mindlessly stick a damn plastic rectangle in the face of every waiter, clerk and cabdriver you pay. 

(For a while they tried to sell us front-line service providers on accepting plastic since people tend to tip more than when they actually see the money leaving their hands, but most of us didn't buy it, so they worked on governments and employers to FORCE US to.)

The ultimate objective is to have a "cashless economy" which would benefit society by making it impossible to use cash for wrong or "immoral" purposes; and to make attempting a robbery pointless. How wonderful. 

How wonderful, until you realize that once we reach that point, it paves the way for limitless inflation where - unlike the Wiemar Republic in post-WWI Germany where people pushed wheelbarrows full of currency to the store to buy a loaf of bread; or in present day Venezuela where paper money is weighed instead of counted (one dozen eggs for 35 pounds of peso notes) - even if one thousand dollars is worth one penny, a million dollars will still be easily stored and countable on the little magnetic strip. Sure people will still bitch, but they'll bitch less if it isn't inconvenient. Money won't have to be printed, just authorized. And the more divorced from reality the general public is, the easier it will be for corrupt politicians to sway them. 

How wonderful, until people find out (after it's too late) that at a minimum in a "cashless economy" a PERMANENT RECORD is made every time you make any kind of purchase; detailing AT A MINIMUM how much you spent and who you paid and when and where. And as a bonus, what you were spending it on. 

The point of a "cashless economy" is NOT to make things more convenient for YOU. It is to make life easier for the banks, who can use the money your card accesses to loan out at interest; to make things easier for the blowholes who send you junk mail based on your purchasing habits; and ultimately to prevent YOU from spending money on things the "authorities" deem improper; among other things. 

A CASHLESS ECONOMY IS A PREREQUISITE FOR THE TOTAL STATE CONTROL OF YOU.  Now imagine:

Some day soon, the problems of identity and card theft will be addressed by some joker who decides that what we need is a "card-free" economy. What gets proposed is that a unique bar code or the equivalent accessing any individual's financial and personal information be tattooed onto the hand or forehead of that individual. Biometrics will be included to preclude a thief lopping off a hand or head to get access. Once that happens, no one will be able to have a yard sale or buy a  gallon of  milk without the government knowing about it. 

What do you wanna bet the last three digits of that code will be "666"?

Stop bowing down to the Beast, you fools. PAY IN CASH and refuse this sinister trend.

FIDEL CASTRO DIES, NOTHING CHANGES

The blood-soaked Communist tyrant who took over Cuba in 1959 and ruled it with an iron hand for more than 50 years finally went to meet his Maker (and explain why he didn't believe He existed, among other things they had to discuss, we are sure) sometime yesterday. 

This announcement was met with joyous celebration from America's ex-pat Cuban community. Why this is, we understand; these people fled that beautiful island because Castro had turned it into a place where it was and is impossible to get ahead in life. Castro believed in the Marxist/Alinskyite false dichotomy between the "haves" and the "have nots". 

The Communist way of resolving this has always been a quest for "social equality".  Unfortunately, the result of such a quest has always been the making of everyone equally miserable. Everyone except the leadership, of course. 

To speak one's mind in disagreement with any aspect of Castro's regime - to say nothing of outright opposition, even if only by speech or writing - was to risk imprisonment or worse, with sanctions upon one's innocent family as well. 

(Once a few years ago - during the Administration of George W. Bush - we met a young man from Sweden who called the United States a "proto-fascist regime". In response, we asked him to accompany me to the White House. There, we walked up to a Secret Service policeman and told him to observe carefully what we were about to do. Then we faced the White House and flipped it the bird, Italian style (forearm slammed into the crook of the arm for emphasis). Then we asked the SS guy if he was going to arrest me. He shrugged and said: "Why? That's your right."  Then we asked the young Swede if he could do what we had just done in his country. He was stunned. But we digress...)

The cheering and the celebration among the ex-pat Cubans is therefore understandable. But the situation in North Korea remains just as miserable as it was under Kim Il-Sung, and arguably became worse under his son Kim Jong-Il, and is no better under Kim Whatzizname, the present leader. 

Similarly, Cuba remains a Communist dictatorship under the rule of Fidel Castro's brother Raul. It's the same old dynasty of despots as North Korea. 

Kim, Kim, Kim; Castro, Castro, Castro.

Same-o same-o same-o.

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A HAPPY THANKSGIVING

We are sorry we did not do a commemorative post yesterday, but when the wi-fi goes down, it's down; and with every tavern and coffeehouse closed, it was just impossible to do a post. So we are sorry if anyone felt slighted. 

Of course there is much to thank God for this year, starting with the fact that the eight-year effort of the American Statist Progressives to clinch their control of these United States for good has been brought to a screeching halt with the election of Donald J. Trump over Hillary Clinton. (of course the ASPs are going nuts about this, and are trying like mad to subvert the Electoral College or, barring that, cripple the Trump Administration before it is even formed. Predictable.)

Also, we are very grateful that we did not die early last Monday morning when a loose electrical connection occasioned the failure of our charging system in our taxicab along I-95 in the middle of the pitch-black night just beyond the Thornburg,VA exit. We must say, way out there you can see all the stars very well, but it's hard to appreciate that with fully loaded 18-wheelers pounding past mere feet from where one is sitting with NO LIGHTS WHATSOEVER. So thanks be to God for the Virginia Safety Patrol guy who came along with a flashlight and a battery jumper box so I could tighten up the connections and get started again. 

I also thank God for showing me to the inexpensive motel I am now ensconced in and writing this from the free wi-fi provided. It's not really much more expensive than a studio apartment in a decent neighborhood. I am thankful that I lost the fight with the Resident Manager of the crummy Old Town rooming house I had lived in for almost nine years and had to seek this place out  as temporary shelter. After just a few weeks of having my own shower, certain skin conditions I had are clearing up. 

The blessings of God are too many to be counted. Indeed, as the Bible says: "All things work together for good, to those who love God and put their trust in Him". 

Indeed. A very happy (albeit belated) Thanksgiving to all of our three readers.

THE PURPOSE OF THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE

Comes now the inevitable pack of morons with their utterly predictable bitching about Hillary Clinton having been "cheated" out of the Presidency by the "antiquated" "outmoded" "un-democratic" Electoral College. This, in the face of the fact that Clinton's alleged "popular majority" was smaller than the margin of error contained in our vote-tallying methods and technology.

There are many false assumptions about the Electoral College. In 2000, when everyone knew the Bush vs. Gore vote was going to be close, the Washington Post newspaper's "Kids' Post" section told its young readers that the Electoral College existed to cancel out the votes of those who elected an "unacceptable" choice of the voters. But when Bush won the College but not - and by the way by the same inside-the-margin-of-error amount as this time - the popular nationwide vote, the "Kids' Post" was quick to explain that the Electoral College was an antiquated and obsolete method of choosing a President. 

Actually, the Electoral College was designed so that candidates for President would have to woo more than just the residents of the largest population centers of the nation. The College is made up of the number of members of the House and the Senate from each state, plus three each from the District of Columbia and some other American territories and possessions. Thus, you cannot take Ohio just by getting votes in Cleveland, you also must convince Dayton, Columbus, Cincinnati, Akron, and even itty-bitty Chilicotthe and Vandalia. Because of the Electoral College, every four years "flyover country" becomes VERY important. Without it, one party would have only to clench the vote in four or five major population centers, and to hell what the people in "flyover country" want or need. Their votes would be a mere formality for appearances sake. 

Now there is a petition circulating demanding that the Electors change their assigned votes when they meet to formally elect the President. The riots in the streets right now are part and parcel of an effort to intimidate them into doing just that. Not bloody likely, in our opinion, because most states have laws on the books to make breaking faith as an assigned Elector a felony offense. 

But these riots against President-Elect Trump only serve to show that without the Electoral College, we would be reduced to a direct democracy, which in the end is nothing but mob rule. Which is why the Founders put the College in place: to prevent the U.S. from becoming what Venezuela is today. Thank God for that.

THE DEPRAVED, DELUDED LEFT GOES BANANAS AFTER TRUMP VICTORY

Gentle Readers, just look at the nuts rioting in the street and you will realize why Trump won. These morons are who Hillary Clinton was depending on to hand her the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Consider:

Mobs carrying signs reading "LOVE TRUMPS HATE" attacking Trump voters and throwing rocks at the cops, etc. 

A protester smashing at a utility box with a baseball bat, hitting it so hard that the door flies open and strikes another protester in the face; whereupon the second protester attacks the first one; whereupon further both protesters' friends join in and a general melee ensues. 

Protesters wearing diaper pins in their lapels or elsewhere, symbolic of their "need to feel safe" ("safety pins", get it?) now that the big bad Trump is poised to take The Oath in 68 days. 

These people are seriously deranged. And dangerous. Several Trump voters have been attacked and beaten.  And one woman, enraged that her 6 year old son had "voted" for Trump IN A "PRETEND ELECTION" AT THE CHILD'S SCHOOL packed a suitcase with the child's things, put it by the door and ordered the terrified innocent tot to leave her house, cursing the boy and ignoring his tears, screams and pleas. And not only this, THE BITCH TAPED IT AND PUT IT ON YOU TUBE!! You can look it up. 

Not even your Beloved Editor has been spared the wrath of the moronic cry-baby sore losers. This past Thursday afternoon, I was informed by the management of the cab company I am contracted with that I would no longer be eligible to handle the City paratransit account, one of our most lucrative. The reason was a huge raft of complaints against me in the last couple of days. All of these were from disabled paratransit riders, most of whom are government-dependent to some - many great - extent. I make no secret either of my conservatism, my nationalism, or my support for Donald Trump and disdain for Hillary Clinton. These folks no doubt were trying to get back at me for supporting and voting for Donald Trump, whom they doubtless view as being poised to cut off their free stuff. If I don't get that contract back, I may file a lawsuit. 

These are the people the Democrat Party caters to. As Chris Plante has said many times: The Left is a violent mob. With Trump's election, these United States just missed their undoing and transformation into a mobocracy.

AMERICAN STATIST PROGRESSIVES (ASPs): THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, AND THEY SAID FUCK YOU

You poor treasonous lice. Thought your little plan to make everyone else in America dependent on Government largesse (to be doled out by you who think you know what's best for the rest of us) was about to be cemented, did you?

Thought you'd pack the Supreme Court with Justices who would disarm us and leave us with no defense against you who would dictate every aspect of our lives to us, eh? Justices who would allow the abrogation of our freedom of speech and association if we spoke or organized against your plans for us. Justices who would let you decide what a word or a clause in the Constitution meant, according to your (ever-flexible) definition of it was, huh?

Thought you'd finally bamboozled enough of us that you could complete your dream of dictating every aspect of our lives to us, bit by bit until by the time we realized it we would be left with no means to resist or rebel? Tough shit, assholes. 

Despite every filthy trick you tried, despite all your toadies in the media, despite every attempt at the political mathematics of ambition, distraction, mortification, and derision; you made one fatal error. 

You chose a candidate who is (despite the statements of the FBI director) a lying criminal bitch. You thought that just the fact that she is a well-known female who would be the first woman to occupy the Oval Office would be sufficient to propel her to victory (never mind the fact that she carried enough baggage to put a couple hundred SkyCaps' kids through graduate school). 

Boy, were you assholes wrong.

Abraham Lincoln's axiom of "You can't fool all the people all the time" has been for decades circumvented by you by using the fact that all you need to do is fool enough of the people enough of the time. Well, last night time was up. 

Your agenda has been brought to a screeching halt. We know you are going to keep fighting tooth and nail, but you are going to lose. Hillary Clinton is NOT going to be able to pack the Supreme Court to the point of the Federal Bench becoming an extra-Parliamentary legislature.

That ability was the main prize in the late contest. Well, you blowholes blew it. Our Constitution and our Republic are now safe from you assholes. 

Because the People have spoken. And they said FUCK YOU!

WHY IN HELL WOULD ANYONE VOTE FOR HILLARY CLINTON NOW??

We had wondered whether the latest twist in this damned election campaign was worth writing another post about. At first it was just the FBI re-opening the e-mail investigation because new e-mails had been discovered. 

However, it turns out that the new e-mails were discovered during a probe of top Clinton aide Umma Abedin's estranged husband Anthony Weiner for "inappropriate" communications with an underage female; and on a laptop shared by Umma and her pervo hubby at that. 

Not only this, but it turns out that Clinton people who had been given immunity to force them to answer questions LIED despite having been given said immunity. 

You may think Donald Trump is rude, crude, and socially undesirable. But he is much preferable to having Hillary Clinton - who respects nothing but that which enriches her and gives her more power - in the White House. A Trump presidency might be a disaster. With Hillary Clinton in the White House, disaster is a certainty. 

THE BEST KEPT SECRET IN ALEXANDRIA

On Southbound US 1 (Called "Henry Street" as it passes through the City of Alexandria); at the corner of Wythe Street stands a little one-story carryout called the "Blue and White". It isn't fancy and in fact it's kind of tacky and dumpy looking. 

I had passed by the Blue and White umpteen times in the last 43 years. But about two months ago I was hungry and wanted to grab a bite before I got handed another call, so I stopped in. 

The first thing I noticed was the prices. The most expensive thing they sell is a fried chicken breast dinner; one breast with two sides (mixed greens, mac n' cheese, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy and a couple more) with bread and a fork included. That's $5.50. The rest of the dinners are a flat five bucks, no tax. These include chicken, pork chops, and hamburger steak. Half smoke sausage and large sides are $2.50 - $2.75. 

The service is fast - faster than McDonalds - and the staff is very friendly. 

Stop into the Blue and White some afternoon for a large portion of fast comfort food. Tell them you read about them in the Alexandria  Daily Poop. When they look at you funny, say "You know the crazy cabdriver with a thing for your greens? They'll know who you're talking about.

DON'T LET THE DEMOCRATS FOOL YOU - THEY KNOW THEY, AND NOT TRUMP, ARE HEADED FOR A HUGE LOSS

Gentle Readers, we expect you are just as tired as we here at the Alexandria Daily Poop are of this damned election campaign. We can't stand to read anything in the Washington Post, because every article has some little piece of snark about Trump or puffery about Clinton in it. The Trump campaign is described as "flailing" or "floundering" (It's "foundering" you idiots; and it's Clinton doing the foundering.) 

As more and more hacked Clinton e-mails are being discovered, the stench of her corruption is coming off in waves. The tactics of the Democrat Party in inciting violence at Trump rallies and attempting to portray that violence as being started by Trump supporters has been exposed, as has been a network of people secretly (and illegally) carrying on communication between the Clinton campaign and various Political Action Committees and coordinating activities between them. 

Other e-mails betray an almost cavalier attitude about the possibility of policies Clinton advocates leading to a nuclear exchange with Russia. And on and on, but when called on these things, Clinton just dismisses the question by saying that all these e-mails were "Hacked by Russia", as if no further explanation is needed. 

Hillary Clinton cares about three things: Her own self, money, and power; not necessarily in that order. And she will say anything, do anything, and betray anyone - even her own country - to attain these goals. This stench is reaching the nostrils of all but her most fanatic supporters; and she is losing ground daily. 

Against all this, the best Clinton and her supporters can manage is to try to say Trump is unacceptable because he is too enthusiastic in his pursuit of poontang. 

We'll tell you what: When faced with a choice between a patriotic horn-dog and a treasonous, grasping harpy; we at the Alexandria Daily Poop will take the horn-dog every time. And so should you. 

Barring some development such as - well, it would have to be pretty big - this will be our last political post before November 9th. If a little bit of discussion of these matters goes a long way, then so far this campaign has engendered discussion which could encircle the known universe several times. We shall speak to these matters only once more; in the privacy of the voting booth on November 8 2016. Our next post after that will be a post-mortem either of the Clinton campaign or of the United States of America. 

TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT - BECAUSE FUCK YOU, IS WHY

The Democrat Party machine and their tools in the media are in full panic mode. Yesterday CNN (Chicken Noodle News) ran an entire day of nothing but all these women "coming forward" with one bullshit story after another about Trump having "sexually assaulted" them years ago. As we have pointed out, the Democrats  sprang their little "October Surprise" a month early, and now have to keep it going. 

Here's how the Democrat Party operates these days: They identify which Republicans will likely win the nomination. THEN they put private investigators on their tails, to dig up derogatory stuff. Then they withhold the information until firing the torpedo will strike the Republican's flagship amidships, sinking it. 

This time the Nazis yelled "Torpedo Los!! too early and hit the USS Trump in the bow. So now they've got a backup corps of sappers to try and finish Trump off. 

It isn't going to work. And the shameless partisan complicity of the media in all this is going to wind up pissing people off. It's not just endorsing a candidate that they are doing. It is the practice of ignoring ANYTHING derogatory toward Clinton and shouting down anything favorable to Trump that will cheese off the voters. More and more it is being made plain that the Dems and their media henchmen think that the American voter is STUPID. And on Nov. 8, those voters are going to elect Trump ass their way of telling them that they are  NOT stupid. The world's biggest "FUCK YOU" ever.

THE LAMESTREAM DRIVE-BY MEDIA ATTEMPTS TO BLUNT TRUMP'S KO OF HILLARY BY DISTORTIONS AND OTHER TRICKERYrump rump linton r

Just as we here at the Alexandria Daily Poop predicted, the State-controlled lamestream drive-by media has launched a full frontal attack on Trump.

Trump never "pledged to put Clinton in prison". He did pledge to get a special prosecutor to get to the bottom of her e-mail shenanigans and other abuses, boneheaded errors, and misbehavior. It was when Clinton said she was glad Trump was not leading American law enforcement that Trump interjected: "Because you'd be in jail". And the crowd went nuts with cheering. 

Those cheers visibly shook Clinton, and they have caused a shock wave to roil through the Democrat party. And at one point, Clinton tried a similar zinger aimed at Trump, and the crowd hissed at her.   

TRUMP SCORES SOLID WIN, KICKS PHONY "SCANDAL" INTO OUTER SPACE

In the second 2016 Presidential Debate, Donald Trump very quickly dealt with the 11 year old remarks he made to Billy Bush by apologizing and quickly pointed out that while he had only spoken a few words in what he thought was a private conversation, Bill Clinton had assaulted several women in the audience, and that Hillary had helped Bill cover it up. Also present in the audience was a young woman who as a girl of 12 had been a rape victim. Her alleged rapist had been defended by Hillary, who got the creep off on a technicality. Hillary had laughed about this. 

Trump then pointed out that while he may have said bad things, Hillary and Bill had actually done much worse. 

Then Trump lit into the classified e-mails and tore her apart, vowing to name a special prosecutor once he was in office. Clinton in her rebuttal said she didn't think Trump should be in the White House. Trump rejoined her: "Because you'd be in jail!"

The crowd went wild with cheers. 

Taxes, immigration, health care, military strategy (Clinton said giving the enemy 48 hours advance notice of an air raid was sound military strategy (WTF? It is NOT!) Whatever the topic, Trump bounced her around like a ball. 

At one point, the crowd hissed at Clinton. 

If the Democrats had unveiled this "October Surprise" a week before the election, Trump may have never recovered. But so adroitly did he handle this and so thoroughly did he settle Hillary's hash that about mid-week he'll be polling above her again. After that, most of the Republicans who withdrew their endorsements will sign back on. Trump made one point very well: If he's accused of saying some bad things; his opponent has actually DONE lots worse. And Hillary SAYS a lot of stuff that sounds good, but never actually acts on any of it.

Hillary Clinton tried a trick and got Trumped.

TRUMP'S 11 YEAR OLD GAFFE (PART II)

Donald Trump announced today that he would not resign the Republican Presidential Candidacy. We concur that he should not. Here's why:

Trump is not running for "Plaster Saint". He is running for President of the United States; which is still (Obama and his henchmen's efforts notwithstanding) the best and greatest Nation the world has ever seen (and if this offends you, suck a donkey dick and get over it). All this kerfluffle over something Trump said into a hot mike that should have been off; in a private conversation with a freaking liberal at that (and a liberal who was just as grossly sexual as was Trump in that conversation) is the effort of the Democrat Party to provide a shiny object with which to distract the voters from Hillary Clinton's - words fail us - shortcomings. 

The Democrat Party has to have been really desperate about Hillary's chances to have pulled this item out this soon. There's still a month left to get people to realize what this is: A Democrat scam to distract people from the real problems and get them focused on something titillating. Trump trading masturbation fantasies with some liberal-schmiberal weenie 11 years ago is in no way relevant to anything this election is about. 

Of course, some of those Republicans who are up for election have formally pulled their support for Trump. Most of these are facing re-election in districts where people are very socially conservative and fear what standing with Trump might... might do to their chances.

But soon enough, folks will realize that what Trump bawdily joked about 11 years ago has NOTHING to do with what Hillary Clinton has done and continues to do for the last eight. All the Democrat - controlled lamestream drive-by media could maybe milk this all the way to Election Day if they only had two weeks until the election. But... There are FOUR WEEKS remaining, and four weeks is an eternity in politics, especially in an election like this one. 

All the Trump camp needs to do is say that this is an irrelevant 11 year old exchange of WORDS, when what needs to be discussed is DEEDS. Hillary's deeds are despicable and her assuming the Presidency of this Republic is a clear and present danger to it. Trump needs to brush this phony "October Surprise" "scandal" off and do a number on Hillary vis a vis her plans for this Republic. 

The position of the Alexandria Daily Poop stands. We endorse Donald Trump and predict a 37 State landslide on the second Tuesday in November.

FINALLY I KNOW WHAT THE HELL A "SCHNITZELBANK" IS

As an elementary school lad, one of the songs we sang when the music teacher paid our classroom a visit was: Ist Das Nicht Ein Schnitzelbank?" The lyrics:

"Ist das nicht ein schnitzelbank?

Ja! Das ist ein schnitzelbank!" 

Translation:

"Is this not a schnitzelbank?

"Yes, this is a schnitzelbank!"

One burning question had haunted me all these years: WHAT THE FUCK IS A SCHNITZELBANK?? The only thing I knew about concerning schnitzel was Weiner Schnitzel, basically breaded fried veal. Since I knew a bank was something you put valuables in, I thought it might have been a refrigerator or a freezer. You know: "Schatzi, I'm home! Vere ist mein schnitzel?"  "You ist late, Hans. I put it in der schnitzelbank. Heat it up!" Thing is, what if she had made knockwurst. Was there a separate "Knockwurstbank"? Or did they just shove everything in the schnitzelbank? 

Well, thank heavens somebody posted the meaning on Wikipedia. In German, a "Schnitzelbank" is a woodworking bench. "Bank" being German for "Bench" and "Schnitzel" being German for "chip" or "Shavings" (Weiner Schnitzel being pounded very thin explains the name for that dish.)

Finally. After 53 years I know what a schnitzelbank is. Why didn't they tell us when we were being taught the damn song?

DONALD TRUMP'S 11 YEAR OLD GAFFE

Comes now the news that more than a decade ago Donald Trump was caught on an open mike having a bullshit session with Billy Bush (whoever the hell he is, we are given to understand he's some kind of celebrity gossip yenta) about how to feel up chicks. Or something like that, a good deal of it was bleeped out. A couple of things here.

FIRST: When males get together one common subject they discuss is how to get them some wimmens. Human males bond over discussing females and how to get them in bed. Unless we're homosexual, it's a large part of what we talk about. And homosexuals talk about other males. Yet Gerry Studds - the Massachusetts Democrat who maintained a Congressional page boy as a lover - everyone in the Democrat Party was okay with that. (There was a censure, but that was kabuki). Another Massachusetts Democrat, Barney Frank, had a male prostitute lover who ran a call boy service out of the basement of Frank's Capitol Hill townhouse. After a few weeks of tee-hee news stories, the whole thing was forgotten.

SECOND: While Trump merely had a male-to-male "bull session" with another man in the back of a limo with an expectation that the conversation was private, Hillary's husband Bill was confronted with multiple accusations of having actually having engaged in several actual, unwelcome "feel-ups" of women, INCLUDING THE VERY SERIOUS ACCUSATION OF THE RAPE OF JUANITA BRODERICK, WHO IS NOT ONLY FEMALE BUT AFRICAN-AMERICAN INTO THE BARGAIN! In all of these instances, Hillary coordinated attacks on the accusers. In fact, as an attorney in Arkansas Hillary managed to get a man off on a technicality in the rape of a TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD. She later laughed about it. 

Donald Trump engaged in what is commonly known as "locker room banter" and got caught on an open mike. Hillary Clinton is an accessory after the fact in several cases of sexual assault of a female. 

Now who's the one who's a danger to women and girls?? 

GOVERNOR MIKE PENCE: THE SECOND BEST REASON TO VOTE FOR TRUMP

Governor and Vice-Presidential candidate Mike Pence turned in an amazing performance in the debate last night, allowing Timmy Kaine to demonstrate exactly how much of an asshole he (Kaine) is. Hillary and her supporters are in a rout, trying to twist the result nine ways from Sunday to make Pence look bad. 

Of course, the single best reason to vote for Trump in November is to deny Hillary the Harpy the White House. But many of us have had lingering doubts about Trump. 

Now, Trump has stated some lofty goals and excellent ideas. But if he goes too far, he can be impeached. In Mike Pence, we have an excellent replacement in the case that Trump winds up being impeached or assassinated; otherwise ends up being unable to exercise the office of the Presidency. 

ON THE OTHER HAND, if Clinton gains the White House and gets impeached (or possibly offed by her own Secret Service detail), we get Tim Kaine. That is like being offered the choice between burning at the stake or boiling in oil. 

We at the Alexandria Daily Poop are not alone in this estimation. An informal survey indicated that nine out of ten people who had been "on the fence" now feel much better about Donald Trump; knowing that if necessary he can be replaced by a very good man indeed.