TRUMP HAS EVERYONE'S PRECIOUS PANTIES IN A TWIST

OH NO! Trump just nominated a "climate change denier" to the EPA! All you lefties head for the rooftops and shout the alarm!

MY GOD! Trump just picked a guy who thinks climate change is real to be Secretary of State! Plus the nominee advocated gay Scoutmasters! Oh, NO! All you righties get on the talk shows and denounce this!

OH, MY HEAVENS! Look at all the former Generals Trump has nominated for various positions! Is he planning to foment a military takeover with himself as Commander in Chief? Will his first act be a coup d'etat? What is Trump planning on doing?

Two things. 

First, Trump is putting together an Administration of people he feels are best qualified to run the agencies he appoints them to. As he sees it, their administrative skills are best suited for the jobs he appoints them to. And he will be the boss and they will damn do as they are told and they will know it. 

Second, he is splitting his critics on both sides, causing them to get confused and unhinged, nattering about his choices on both sides of the issues.

If you want to know about Trump, I'll tell you a story about a little boy of two whose family had a tradition of setting before a boy on his second birthday a Bible, an (empty) miniature liquor bottle, and a dollar bill. The idea was to predict the kid's future.

If he picked up the Bible, for instance he would go into the Ministry.

If he picked up the liquor bottle, he'd be an entertainer.

And if he picked up the dollar, he'd be a businessman. 

So when Junior toddled over and picked up the Bible, his mother smiled and touched her heart, as she always had wished her son to be a preacher. 

But then the toddler tucked the Holy Book underneath his arm, stuffed the dollar in his pocket, grabbed the liquor bottle, and toddled away. 

His mom's jaw dropped with astonishment, and her husband looked at her and said:

"Well I'll be damned, Madge. The boy's gonna be a politician!"

We think the kid's name was Donald J. Trump.