WE were going to skip a few days - which we do anyway from time to time since this is OUR publication and we figure we can tun this here railroad however we damn please - when we noticed that we seem to be getting a lot of traffic from Red China.
Now, knowing what the Chicom dicatorship's policies are regarding viewing materials on the Internet, we are pretty sure Chinese citizens are prohibited from viewing this rag. And we are pretty sure that the reason is that the Chinese government does not want to be criticized.
So if you are a Chinese common citizen trying to - well, we don't do porn here, so sorry; but if it's freedom in action you are looking to see, then look here, where we regularly make the case that the most powerful man in America is a nincompoop, a liar, and quite possibly may be guilty of treason. And NOBODY can do one damn thing about it!! It's true! Look at this:
BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS A PIG TURD
We are going to sleep quite soundly tonight knowing of a certainty that the "authorities" not only will not knock on our door to call us to account for the above statement, but that they DARE NOT DO SO.
Try making a public statement like that about your leader, signing your own full legal name to it the way we do here. We are sure he will send his thanks - whoops, we mean his tanks - in response.
We are also sure that about 80-90 percent of our Red Chinese readers are Chinese secret police. Read on, you guys. If we can subvert you here and tempt you to the side of Freedom, then all the better. We'll tell you Chinese government types this much: If you think you can ruin the United States economy without ruining yourselves, think again. Call the debt and we will just print another trillion dollars and send it in. And when the resulting global financial catastrophe settles, the USA and the dollar will be on top of the heap, just like we are now.
Whoever you are and no matter what nation you are from, when you are reading the Alexandria Daily Poop you are seeing America's gift of freedom being demonstrated with every word, every letter, and every hit of the spacebar on this here laptop. You are not truly free unless you can - absolutely without fear - tell your nation's head of state to get bent. A leader who demands respect instead of deserving it is unfit to be a leader at all. Saying this will not get US so much as questioned by the police, never mind being sent to jail or worse. This is the RIGHT of every person on the planet. The only difference is, here in the United States that right MUST be respected OR ELSE. Most other places, notably Red China, that is not the case.
And that is why the Chicom authorities don't want you common Chinese citizens reading the Alexandria Daily Poop. We are probably keeping a few of the Red Chinese secret police busy monitoring us, and that's that many fewer agents to hurt you Chinese citizens. And you are very welcome. Thanks for reading the Alexandria Daily Poop.