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Sunday, March 10, 2013

JUSTIN BIEBER AIN'T GOT NO HAIR!!!

Just a little background here, folks. When I was a student at Wayne High School in what is now Huber Heights, Ohio we had an expression for a male who exhibited a lack of enthusiasm for taking up a challenge. It was said of such a one that he "didn't have the hair" for it.
 
The hair being referenced therein was not, of course, the hair on one's head but rather the bodily hair that signalled the transformation from boy to man. Today this attitude may be considered somewhat skewed, but it is the American Midwestern ethos I came of age in.
 
Well, that was then and this is now, but really not a whole lot has changed. Well, maybe social norms and such have changed, but reality has not. At some point in your life, you need to "have the hair" to deal with it. "The hair" of course refers to the secondary sex carachteristic that appears around puberty and manifests itself chiefly in the armpits and the pubic area.
 
Two days ago, a photograph of Justin Beiber laying in a bed was released and aired on TMZ.  His left arm is behind his head, and the pose exposes a left armpit with no trace of hair growth.
 
I wonder if he shaves his pubic area. Not that I care, but he seems to want to be such a tough guy. We have not seen such a conflict between pretence and reality since Humphrey Bogart.
 
Hey, Bieber. How's about we set up a wrestling match between you and me? Not "Greco-Roman"; I'm thinking more "mixed martial arts".   You are - what? 18? - and I am 60. If you accept, I will kick your young ass. (and don't think a couple weeks studying Krav Maga will help. I hold rank in both the karate philosphy of Shotokan and the realm of Aikido.)
 
Anyway, Justin; you can accept the challenge via the "comments: widget. However, I am not holding my breath. You ain't got the hair, puddin' haid.
 
 

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