ABSOLUTELY SHAMELESS!

No, I am not talking about today's Supreme Court pronouncements concerning so-called "gay marriage". It's gonna be awhile before I know enough about the nuances of the SCOTUS ruling, including the full texts of the concurrences and dissents, to be qualified to comment.

No, folks; the entity I am referring to is my own self as a "shameless self-promoter", and I do plead guilty. I have gained so many new readers to this blog that I deem it worthwhile to inform you new readers of my novels, on sale on Kindle e-books for a measly buck ninety-nine ($1.99) U.S..

 

I know that many of you are angered because of my pronouncements about "gay marriage" and think I am a gay-bashing bastard. But my novel "The Peterson Investigation" has as a major theme the parochial attitudes toward homosexuality in the Dayton, Ohio area circa 1995.  Read that, and I assure you you will come away understanding much better where I am coming from.

 

My other novel, "Georgetown in Plainclothes", is a sketch of the culture and counterculture in 1977 in the Washington Metropolitan era. I am proud to say that I have met three police officers who have read the novel and who have been impressed enough to ask for my autograph. 

 

All that needs be done to access both novels is to go to Amazon and enter my name - F. Allen Norman, Jr. - in the search box. I tried to post a direct link, but so far I have not been able to. 

 

Besides which, haven't I done enough work writing these works?

HERE WE GO WITH THIS "TRANSGENDERED" CRAP AGAIN

The Colorado State Civil Rights Division has just ruled that a male child who "identifies" as a female MUST be permitted to use the girls' restroom (we have mentioned this case earlier, and now the ruling has come down).

 

The parents of this kid are of a mind that there is nothing wrong with their little boy who thinks he's a girl (or is it their little girl who has a penis?)

 

The official position of the Alexandria Daily Poop is that persons born with male genitals are MALES. Persons born with female genitals are FEMALES. Persons who think that they are a member of the sex other than the one they possess the genitals of are NUTS.

 

Parents of pre-pubesceent boys who insist that their son, who they say "identifies" as a girl and who call him "her" and their "daughter" and who insist that society conform to their rank denial that something is quite possibly very wrong with their son, are at a minimum self-centered lazy souls who want to avoid dealing with the fact that there's a problem with their son.

 

Now this is only our personal opinion, but we believe that these two parents are using their confused little boy to break into the quite possibly lucrative career field of "professional public spectacle". 

 

This kid is not even old enough to know what his weenie is there for, except that he can - unlike a girl - "write his name in the snow" with it. This fascination with "girl stuff" might just be nothing more than a fascination with all things female. Hells bells, folks; we were fascinated by cooking when we were very young, and when we wanted a kitchen mixer for our birthday, our father went batshit. But we continued oir interest (and our parents continued to worry) but in the Boy Scouts we were an amazing camp cook, and we were and remain very much all male.

 

Just one thing here: When this little boy starts to undergo puberty and he begins to realize what that peter of his is for, and decides he wants to get romantically involved with girls, does that make him a lesbian with a dick?

 

And what would it make him if it turned out that - like a girl - his romantic and sexual tastes ran to boys, but he liked to be the "insertive partner"?  "Transgendered" seems a bit insufficient to describe a girl who likes to fuck boys in the ass with her dick.

 

Well, we don't know what others might say about this situation, but here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we call it a train wreck. Any sane person who has read what we have written here knows that we are spot-on right. This kid belongs in a foster home, and his parents belong in a lunatic asylum, along with the officials who ruled on the matter.

 

If a train goes off the rails, you don't remedy the situation by calling it a tractor-trailer.  If your son thinks he's a girl, well...

 

Good grief. Words are insufficient in a conversation that should not be necessary. 

THE PAULA DEEN AFFAIR

Having reviewed what information we could find concerning the firing of Georgia Southern cook Paula Deen from the Food Network for her admission under Oath in a Court of Law that she has in the distant past used the word "nigger" in reference to members of the black (or negro) race, The Alexandria Daily Poop now offers the following observations:

Ms. Deen did nothing in her use of the word in question that nearly every person of her generation has not done, and was arguably a great deal less malevolent in her application of the term than a good many others of her generation.

There have been statements made that Deen was planning a Southern-style "plantation" style feast and planned to hire members of the black race to portray slaves.  This has been presented as an "aggravating factor".  But this sort of thing has been occurring every day for decades in a very well known continuing re-enactment of 18th century life in Virginia called "Colonial Williamsburg"; and we fail to see how a professional cook and expert on those times, being very well known and being an advocate of the accurate transmission of history; is in any way more "racist" than the entitie(s) who run "Colonial Williamsburg".

 

(A personal aside: Some years ago we stopped into a restaurant on Maryland's Eastern Shore and were appalled when the waiter, a young black male, came up to our table and began a tap-dance - no, we are not making stuff up nor are we trying to be "funny" - and delivered a spiel that began with "Okay, folks, wot'll it be?" and said "mmm-MMM!" when he described the Maryland fried chicken. The WTF factor could have been measured in megatons. One of our table mates made a hasty excuse about having left her purse at the (non-existent) motel we had just (not) checked out of, and we left.)

 

In addition Deen is a staunch liberal and supporter of Current Resident of the White House Barack Hussein Obama.

 

It is our considered opinion that Ms. Deen should file a lawsuit for improper and unfair termination of contract against the Food Channel. Once she does that, her attorney should put the very person who made the decision to fire her under oath and then ask him or her if, when, how often, and in what context he or she had ever at any time uttered the word "nigger". 

 

The Alexandria Daily Poop is opening comments on this post. Comments will still be moderated, however opposing views will be tolerated so long as they are (1) on topic, (2) do not contain ad hominem attacks on any person and (3) contribute to the discussion. The final decision as to whether to publish any comment will rest with the Editor in Chief, and is not subject to appeal nor to review by any other person.  Anonymous comments will be considered, but your chances of seeing your comment in print here will be greatly enhanced if you use your full legal name.

A TALE OUT OF SCHOOL

Gentle readers, there are a couple of topics I wanted to comment on today. Famous Southern cook Paula Deen got fired from the Food Network yesterday, All of the information we have right now is that she was forced - under oath- to admit that she had in the past used what is now (and over-delicately) referred to as "the N-word". However here at the Alexandria Daily Poop we do not believe in tiptoeing around. Deen admitted under oath that she had used the word "nigger". 

 

Actually, if you put everyone who speaks even marginal English who had at some point in thier lives used that word on one end of a lever and everyone who speaks English who had never used that word on the other end, the lever would have to be ten thousand miles long and the fulcrum placed ten inches from the group who had used the "n-word" in order that the weight of those who had never used it to raise the first group half an inch. But before we comment any further, we want to read up as much as possible on this, because Paula Deen is a liberal dumbass (who can cook up a storm, we'll give her that) and there may be more to this than just some utterances decades ago. So other than what we have just written here, we will withhold comment.

 

Also, today being Saturday we have witnessed a lot of kids' programming, and there was an emphasis on handling "bullies". We have a lot to say about that, but not today. However we will encapsulate our advice to younguns who are dealing with bullies thusly: Kick the bully in the balls. That's the only language they understand. We will address the bully issue soon, we promise.

 

But today we were working on our next novel, and thought about some things contained in The Peterson Investigation, our first novel (available on Kindle for a buck ninety-nine).  The story is set in my hometown of Huber Heights, Ohio and although all people and events are fictional, there are flashbacks to incidents in the pasts of the characters that were taken directly from incidents that happened back in school when I was a student at Wayne High School. These were embellished a bit, of course; and were included so as to give a flavor of where the characters were coming from culturally. 

 

(I've dropped the editorial "we" to make the mood more intimate)

 

One incident based on a true story related to this real incident. I was in 9th grade English, and we as a class were taking turns reading aloud from a story about a bunch of teenagers making supper. I had just read a passage about a girl taking a noodle casserole out of the oven and dropping it. splattering it all over the floor.  Next up was Joe K.. (I bet somebody is reading this who was right there and knows what I am talking about).

 

Joe was one of those kids who read without any voice inflection to deliniate punctuation and diacritical marks.  For instance, instead of : "Mom brought home a puppy! We were so excited!" a kid like Joe would read: "Mom-brought-home-a-puppy-we-were-so-ex-it-ed" in a flat monotone. 

 

Well, folks, Joe wound up voicing the boy who saw the noodles splatter.  What ought to have come out of his mouth was: "Oh, my!' Tom ejaculated', ("Ejaculated" in context meaning "blurted out"), 'That's quite a mess!"

 

Instead, Joe read out: "Oh my. Tom ejaculated. That's quite a mess."  Twenty five kids plus the teacher convulsed with laughter as Joe turned as red as a stop-sign. 

 

True story, readers. Hand to God, I swear to you this actually happened. 

 

Hey, it's the weekend and a full moon. Serious shit can wait. 



THE REAL MOTIVATIONS BEHIND THE CONCERNS OF THE AMERICAN STATIST PROGRESSIVES

In my last post I made reference to the supposed concerns of the ASPs (American Statist Progressives - truly a nest of vipers) concerning "diversity". But by "diversity" they mean such diversity as will serve to advance their agenda.

 

In every other area about which they voice concern, there are also ulterior motives. Let's talk about this "diversity" crapola first.

 

By "Diverse", the ASPs mean "Heterosexual white Christians in the minority".  They certainly do NOT mean "diversity of opinion". ASPs are some of the most astrigently doctrinaire, dogmatic people to walk the earth; and if you disagree with them one little bit, then by their lights you are a no-good son of a bitch.  The ASPs would gladly gas every heterosexual white Christian male if they could; and then the planet would be sufficiently "diverse" for their liking.

 

ASPs are fond of saying that Christians display an "arrogant certitude" that their beliefs are absolute, irrefutable truths; and they say that such certitude is a bad thing. What they don't say is that they think this is a bad thing because they believe that it is their beliefs that are the ultimate irrefutable truth. And while Christians are tolerant of them (pains in the ass though they are); the ASPs are some of the most intolerant people on the planet should anyone question one jot or tittle of their manifesto.

 

ASPs claim to be "pro-choice".  But are they "pro-choice" when it comes to parents choosing where and how to educate their kids? Certainly not! By their lights, everyone's kids should be required to attend the Leftist indoctrination camps that they have turned the public schools into over the last half-century.

 

So are the ASPs "pro-choice" as to the personal decision as to whether to possess a firearm? Hell no. Disarming those who might resist has always been a priority of wannabe tyrants.

 

No, the only thing the ASPs are "pro-choice" on is the choice of a woman to have an abortion. (The choice of a woman NOT to have an abortion, not so much). 

 

ASPs lead the charge against "Big Tobacco", "Big Oil" and "Big Pharma(ceutical)".  In these matters they claim their motivation is protecting public health, protecting the environment, and making life-saving medications "affordable". 

 

But the ASPs' real motive in opposing these entities is that they make a lot of money. ASPs don't really give a damn if you get lung cancer and croak. They want to ruin the tobacco industry, except that they don't bitch about Cuban cigars (which aren't really all that great anymore, because Communism fucks up everything it touches) or Venezuelan oil, because it finances a Marxist government.

 

The ASP mantra - famously expressed by Current Resident of the White House Barack Hussein Obama to Joe the Plumber - is to "spread the wealth around".  Their goal is "equality". Equality not of opportunity, but of outcomes. This cannot be accomplished by "spreading the wealth" but rather the true agenda of the ASPs is to make everyone (except them, of course) equally miserable. As my late Uncle Tom was fond of saying, to hell with that noise.

FAMOUS FIRSTS (Reductio Ad Absurdem)

A few days ago I got a fare to what the guy said was "National Airport".  As always, I asked, "You mean Reagan?".  I did this because some people get confused by their schedules and think they are going to Reagan when they are actually going to Dulles or vice-versa.

 

 

But not this guy. This guy was the type of person who always says "National" because he's a leftie dim-bulb and cannot stand to say "Reagan" (and to tell the truth, I also use the procedure to divine whether I need to turn off Chris Plante and/or avoid talking to a liberal idiot).  In any case, he was quite miffed, and asked me if I called BWI "Marshall"

 

 

Well, actually I never have to ask, because everybody, and I do mean everybody always says "Baltimore" or "Baltimore-Washington International Airport"  When you are flying out of the next city to the north, you don't forget. It's a 90 dollar cab ride. But if I do reference the name, I call it "BWI Marshall".

 

The reason my passenger was miffed was that Reagan and Dulles were named after conservatives, and BWI-Marshall was named after Thurgood Marshall, who was not only a liberal but also The First Black Supreme Court Justice into the bargain.

 

Marshall's opinions and dissents were really no more remarkable than Samuel Alito's, but they are accorded great fanfare and respect because they were issued by The First Black Supreme Court Justice.

 

Although my ideological worldview clashes violently with that of the late Justice Marshall, I will be the first to say that his appointment and service on the high court was indeed noteworthy in light of the barriers it broke down. One thing I will say about Marshall is that his tenure helped make possible the appointment of the Honorable Mr. Justice Clarence Thomas. But I don't care if Marshall was a blond, blue eyed white Presbyterian from Bloomington, Indiana. He was still a scum-sucking liberal.

 

What is it with this insane adulation of people who were the "first" this-or-that to do thus-and-so?  "First" in that sense they may have indeed been; but that does not mean that every word they spoke must be engraved on the pedastal of a statue of the "First" who spoke it.

 

 

Look at some of the big "firsts" of the last 40 years or so. The First Deaf Miss America (and wasn't there "The First Miss America With A Colostomy Bag? I think that was just a joke, but maybe it happened. I wonder what the swimsuit competition looked like). And a Very Big Deal is made about the First Openly Gay Man to do any damn thing more consequential than opening a can of beans.

 

 

Ask any liberal and he or she will tell you that these "firsts" are "a celebration of the progress toward acceptance of diversity" or some such twaddle. That's right, I said "twaddle"; and I can back up that assertion and I will.

 

You see, these types are the same people who - correctly - state that "every person is unique".  But since "every person is unique", that means that society is neccessarily diverse to begin with.

 

Nobody on Earth has the same set of fingerprints and the same sequence of DNA as I do. There might be one or two other people with the exact same name as I have - like that damned sex-offender from Florida whose name pops up in a google check of my name and keeps holding up the instant Brady checks every time I buy a new gun - but none of them have my exact fingerprints, birth date, and DNA. Anytime I do anything for the first time in my life, I am ipso facto the first 1/8th Cherokee born in Indianapolis Indiana and raised in Dayton Ohio named F. Allen Norman, Jr. who did that particular thing. Why, the number of statues to be cast and the number of buildings to be erected in my honor would likely provide enough jobs to right the economy and get us out of these doldrums. So why isn't this being done? \

 

 

Well, because everyone would be engaged in making statues and constructing buildings; and no one would be left to pick up the garbage or grow the food. Especially considering the other mantra of the "celebrate diversity" crowd: that every person is like a snowflake, with no two alike. If everyone is unique, then everyone is the first something-or-other to do anything and everything from pooping in the potty to becoming President of the United States.

 

Everyone is unique, and there are upwards of six billion unique people on the planet, all unique as snowflakes. A blizzard of humanity, and like a blizzard this often results in a mess.

 

But if some individual is to be celebrated, by my sights it oughtn't to be about their achievement as the "first" to do anything less consequential than climbing Mount Everest. And even then, race sex and sexual orientation ought to be non-factors.

 

Let's say Danica Patrick won the Indy 500. She'd be the first woman to win, but she wouldn't have won because she had to overcome disadvantages directly caused by her sex; she would have won because she was a superior driver who also had better luck in staying out of accidents on the track and had a better pit crew backing her up. And she would also have beaten out not only the men, but several other women who were competing against her. In fact, it could be argued that the reason she didn't win in eight tries was at least patially due to her focus not on winning the race, but to be the first woman to do so. Personally, I think that this consideration put enough extra pressure on her that she made some bad decisions and lost when she shouldn't have.

 

Compare this with the homosexual basketballer who announced his homosexuality a few weeks ago. The guy was a midddling player at the end of his career. He might have faded into obscurity and opened a restaurant or a car dealership like lots of other has-beens do. He is widely hailed for his "courage".   By my lights, it would be courageous for some kid with his whole future in basketball hanging in the balance to "come out of the closet" when he announces this being chosen out of high school to go to a Top Ten college on a basketball scholarship. That would be a truly brave act. The person referenced here was getting ready to go to the glue factory himself, so he came out and ensured himself of a few more years of adulation.

 

On the other hand, the Wright Brothers were the first people (of any race or ethnic group, period) to design, construct, and sucessfully test an airplane capable of sustained and controlled flight. It doesn't matter a whit if either of them was straight, gay, or a goat-fucker. What they did was of great consequense to the entire human race. But if the Wrights had been black or homosexual incestual lovers; that, and not the invention of the first airplane, would be what they would be adulated for by the Left.

 

That, of course, is the whole point of this "everyone is special" leftist bullcrap. When everyone is special, no one is special; and then the Left gets to pick and choose which "specialness" they honor.  And it is nothing else but crap.

 

HE SAID THEY'D RESPECT US IN THE MORNING

When the Current Resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest first ran for the White House, he promised he would make America "respected again".  Yet today the Washington Post announced that presently we are held in disdain by other nations like never before.

 

And this isn't "Bush's fault" either. The dim view in which these United States are held by allies and foes alike is a direct result of the policies of the bumbling, megalomanaical fool whom the electorate voted into power in 2008 and whom last year and inexplicably re-elected.

 

No wonder the rest of the world thinks we are idiots. First, we elect an unknown obscure junior Senator to the most powerful office in on the planet. Then, after listening to him blame every failure of his administration on the previous adminitration, we give him another four years to screw things up.

 

The big issue he was elected on was the economy. Dithering and refusal to cut spending led to a confrontation that turned into a game of "chicken" which led to the current budget sequester. Obama has been caught red-handed deliberately trying to make this round of mandatory budget cuts as painful as possible - in order to blame the pain on the Republicans, of course - AND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT PLANS A VACATION THAT WOULD COST MORE THAN A TENTH OF A BILLION DOLLARS. 

 

Under the European parliamentary system that Obama seems to prefer over our Constitutional Republic, his government would have been removed about ten seconds after he announced his vacation plans. Marie Antoinette was arrested for less.

 

I have an idea. At the next TEA party rally, everybody bring a slice of cake, and stand in front of the White House holding up the slices of cake, chanting "Yes We Can Eat Cake!"

 

Really now. Obama wanted us to elect a shyster like him, and thought that we'd get respect from other nations because we have a bungling moron for a "leader"?

 

Yes, gentle readers, I realize this post is a bit rambling. But just a bit. I'm not paid to do this, and from time to time I am confronted with a situation where the breif amount of time I have to author a blog post is wholly insufficient. But really, where is all that newfound respect from other nations that this hustler promised us when he was pleading for our votes.

 

(He most assuredly did NOT get MINE, if indeed any of you had any doubts).

ONE MORE DAMN TIME: REPUBLICANS! STOP TAKING DEMOCRAT ADVICE! (OR DO YOU THINK THEY WANT YOU TO WIN?)

Here we go again with the DemocRATS saying that if the Republicans don't do as the DemocRATS say, then they will lose and become extinct.

 

This time the subject is the treatment of those currently illegally present in these United States. The Democrat Party wants to let them stay and eventually become eligible to vote legally so the DemocRATS won't have to devote so much time to getting them phony American IDs and/or registrations under which to vote.

 

This, folks, is like one Sumo wrestler telling the other one that in order to win a match between them the other Sumo wrestler needs to go on a diet and slim down.

 

It's like a contestant at the Indy 500 saying that his main competitor needs to start with one gallon of fuel or else the opponent's car will weigh too much and be made too slow.

 

It's as if, during World War II, the Germans had said that the Allies needed to stop the bombing because it was turning the German civilians against them (and I think that was actually a propaganda point in that conflict. But unlike you idiot establishment Republicans, the Allied Command kept up the bombing, and they won).

 

TEA Party Republicans, it's time for a party putcsh. Study how today's National Rifle Association leadership took over from the Elmer Fudd hunting advocates and steered that organization toward defending the Second Amendment for its original purpose.

 

And Speaker Boehner, you're putting up a hell of an exhibition for an Ohio boy. YOU AND THE REST OF THE REPUBLICAN CAUCUS OUGHT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP THE SOAP.

 

And yet every time the Democrats tell you to drop it, your only debate is where the soap should land when you do? Good grief.

THE ANNUAL 4TH OF JULY MARIJUANA "SMOKE-IN" IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

Back in 1971 (or was it 1970?) the local "underground newspaper" in Dayton, Ohio had an announcement for something called a "smoke-in" to be held in Washngton D.C. in support of the legalization of marijuana (or, as the Ohio revised code archaically spells it, "marihuana".)  But Dad wold have disowned me had I tried to attend. (At the time, possession of marijuana was a 20 year felony in Ohio.)

 

It wasn't until after I had left the Air Force and decided to settle here in the National Capital region in the spring of 1974 that I attended the event, which had become and still is an annual happening. From 1974 right on up to the sunmer of 2001 I attended the "smioke-in" every year, even though I haven't smoked marijuana since about 1995. I believe 1983 was the year I smoked a bowl with none other than David Peel of the Lower East Side Band and sang a couple of his songs with him.

 

But every year I became more and more conservative, and began to divine something sinister afoot.

 

There has been a rumor going round in high schools and junior high schools for years that at some point in the course of the protest free marijuana cigarettes would be tossed to the crowd from the stage. But aside from the bands (most of whom were - until recently - pretty good) the only thing that got tossed to the crowd of impressionable youngsters was a lot of Leftist Marxist blithering. The rumor about free pot was circulated to ensure the kiddies would be giving the speakers their undivided attention.

 

For the most part, what these speakers had to say was a laff riot, at least to an adult who knows (1) his history and (2) fraud and lies when he sees and/or hears them.

 

Most of this twaddle consisted of bullcrap about how marijuana was to everyday life what Kraft Philadelphia Cream Cheese is to food: it goes with everything. "Hemp-seed oil" was touted as a great motor fuel and a wonderful nutritional source. Go to one of these affairs and you will hear about how Thomas Jefferson and George Washington grew the hemp that made the paper the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were printed on, and many other things that just aren't so.  But young minds eat it up.

 

(I remember one year running into some 14 year old kid with a backpack with a capital "P' "O" and "T" arranged vertically as the starting letters of the words "P ersistence O f  T ime".  After complimenting the lad on his recognition of the famous Salvador Dali painting of melting clocks and watches, I gently broke the news to him that the title of the painting is "The Persistence of Memory".  The boy looked as if he had been pole-axed.) 

 

Other speakers included some old hippie in a cowboy hat and boots who - year after year - touted the addiction-battling effects of the hallucinogen "ibogaine"; plus other snake oil (or hemp oil) salespersons. 

 

However, also speaking from the stage were members of various contingents of what I call the "tinfoil-hat left".  At the last "smoke-in" I attended in 2002, one of these speakers nearly got his ass kicked by me when he compared Osama bin Laden favorably with George Washington in my presence. A United States Park Police officer saw the confrontation becoming hostile and got between us and told us to retire to opposite corners of the park on pain of arrest.

 

Since 2002 if I even bother putting up with being searched like I am entering a prison in order to attend the celebration of our Republic's freedom I only watch the "smoke-in" from a distance while sipping a beer at the concession stand on the west side of Francis Bacon Drive.  The speakers have become more strident, vulgar and more extremely anti-American and the musical "entertainment" is pure trash.

 

But I have noted that the attending "crowd" also gets smaller and older every year. Pot and leftism are both so 20th-century.

 

"Persistence of Time", indeed.

 

As I said, it's been a couple decades at least since I smoked any reefer. Mainly I don't have the time to look for it and I don't care to have anything to do with the types who deal in it. And of course, it's still against the law; and who needs to run the risk of getting arrested? But more and more the "annual marijuana smoke in" (or "hemp festival" as I believe it is currently billed) has become less about legalizing cannabis and more about indoctrinating young people against the United States. So if you are a kid, don't attend this Leftist indoctrination session; and if you are a parent, take steps to ensure your kid doesn't go anywhere near it.

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

I rarely use the "s-word" in the title to a blog post, but an article in today's Washington Post merits it - in spades.

The article in question was displayed below the fold on the front page, and concerned the fact that, even though women are a majority population in Virginia (as they are everywhere else, big duh), no woman has held "statewide elected office" (by which is meant Governor, Lieutenant Governor, and Attorney General) since Democrat Mary Sue Terry was elected Attorney General back in the 80s.

 

The article then went on to (of course) insinuate that the big bad Republicans were deliberately discouraging women from running. That's the impression one would get from the portion of the article appearing on the front page. Naturally there was no mention of the fact that female legislators are well represented in both houses of the General Assembly.  And of course the Post took pains to mention Republican Gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli in the same paragraph as the failed (and we detested this proposal) attempt to require trans-vaginal ultrasound before an abortion.

 

However, when one turned to the page on which the article was continued, the banner over the article announced that "one reason" there are few women in "statewide office" is because 'few run".

 

No shit, Sherlock.

 

The article is disingenuous because it does not recognize members of the Virginia House and Senate as "Statewide" elected officials even though their decisions affect every resident of and place in the Commonwealth. Really, we here at the Alexandria Daily Poop are more than a bit tired of the Post's sniping at the Commonwealth all the time. If the people at the Post can't just report facts and not try to twist them for partisan political purposes, then we invite them to butt out.

ADDRESS TO THE CLASS OF 2013

I cannot address every college and high school graduation ceremony to which I have been invited to speak, mainly because I haven't been invited to speak at any of them. But on the off chance that any of you high school seniors and new Baccalaureates want to know what I would say to you, here it is:

 

Well, you young folks about to take your next big step in the world, as the Editor in Chief of the Alexandria Daily Poop I would just like to offer you a bit of advice.

 

First off, avoid spilling beer on the keyboard of your computer as it makes the keys stick at a minimum and you might even knock out one or two keys and need to use the on-screen keyboard to type an address or a blog post.

 

Not that I've ever done anything that dumb.

 

Second, for you kids graduating from high school, don't waste your time and money on classes like "women's studies". (You should have had that Home Ec thing completed in 10th grade).

 

Seriously, high schoolers, we have enough freaking lawyers already. And we have a glut of the busybodies known as "helping professionals" trying to make Stuart Smalleys out of every soul that falls into their hands.

 

 And avoid "political science" courses like the plague. "Poli-Sci" is a big load of crap. Politics is not a science, it's an art like pickpocketing, safecracking, and running crooked dice games and pigeon-drop scams are.

 

Some of you think you want to be journalists. Be aware that the Left has invested possibly more time and effort into brainwashing young aspiring journalists than it has corrupting the other areas of the academy. If you have to parrot back a bunch of Leftist tripe to get that sheepskin, then do it. But once you have that degree "With all the rights and priveleges that attain thereto" you are in. Once you are, think for yourself. Don't just use a bunch of "talking points" to frame your story.

 

And beware the "student loan" trap. As a matter of fact, college financing is pretty screwed up right now. Before you take out a huge loan that bankruptcy will not rescue you from should your efforts fail, take a couple years off and get a job doing something that requires real work, like going to the Dakotas and laboring on an oil or gas project; or maybe hack a cab. (Only join the armed forces if you are ready to be deployed to some place where people will try to kill you. This war we are in has not ended despite the pronouncements of the Current Resident of the White House, and it's not likely to end any time soon.)

 

Remember that one reason college is so expensive is precisely because these student loans are available. As Frank Zappa once advised, go to the public library and educate yourself. And don't think community college is for losers. There are guys who hold an associate degree who are doing better than some snob who is barely making it but takes comfort in the fact that he can expect people to fall on their asses when they find he graduated from Harvard. And while the Community College guy is raking in the bucks and planning to take his family on a cruise, the Harvard guy is shopping for an answering machine so he can screen his calls and avoid the guy trying to collect on that damn student loan.

 

As for you new college graduates, well, you may well have just screwed yourselves royally, especially if you voted for Obama. If your major was anything having to do with the "liberal arts", then after you get your sheepskin run, don't walk to the nearest Gap, Banana Republic, McDonald's or Dunkin' Donuts and get a job before they hire some lady from El Salvador instead of you.

 

However if your major was in some aspect of business or information technology, you may well have a bright future. Unlike your fellows who went for fruitcake degrees, you chose something practical. You alone have the smarts to regenerate the economy to a point where there might be room for the kind of frippery that liberal arts majors engage in.

 

But I will save my final remarks for those college graduates who went to school on an ROTC scholarship.  Provided you make it through the subsequent military training in Officer Candidate School you will be commissioned as Ensigns or Second Lieutenants and recieve a single gold bar. When that happens, Petty Officers and Sergeants - most of whom will be your elders - will be required to salute you and obey you.

 

So remember that a non-com with several years of experience should be looked upon as a valuable assistant who can provide advice and guidance which could well save the lives of you and those under your command. Until you demonstrate that you realize this, you will be called a "butterbar" behind your back. Rank can be bestowed. Command must be attained. Remember that you are just as obligated to return the salute of an enlisted person as they are obligated to offer it.

 

Oh, and one more thing for all of you: There have been times past and there will be times to come when you have been or will be told that you are "too young" to do or qualify for this or that. Know that you can always get older (cannot help it, even).

 

Just wait until the first time you are told you are "too old". You will never be any younger. So strike while the iron is hot. Go forth and make your way as best you can.

 

Ninety percent of what anyone says at any commecement ceremony is maudlin blather. Reality awaits. Deal with it.

FOR ENGLISH, VOTE REPUBLICAN

You might think you have it bad. But if you don't live in Virginia, then at least you don't have "Meathead" Tim Kaine for a United States Senator. (And here in Alexandria we have the wife-beating Jew-hating old Boston Irish drunk James P. "Bugs" Moran as our Representative into the bargain).

 

Yesterday Meathead contributed to the Senate debate on the immigration reform bill by reading his entire speech on the Senate floor in Spanish. Since I didn't hear him say "estoy un pendejo muy grande" I suppose it was the usual pack of lies.

 

He was supposed to be debating the merits of the bill with his fellow Senators, most of whom pretty much heard: "Floppa del Ignacio como taco tico carramba duka nooka glasadio nario nada solamente cafe leche caliente del frio"  I mean, what next? Is he going to debate a bill about NASA in fucking Klingon?

 

Kaine and these damn Democrats are trying to get as many illegals to register and vote as possible. Why else is he speaking Spanish to address an English-speaking body? Speaking English is a requirement of citizenship, and citizenship is a requirement for voting (unless you can find a Democrat party operative to register you and show you how to vote) so exactly what constituency was he addressing??

 

If you believe you ought to be able to understand what your Senator (or representative or other elected official) is saying on your behalf, then on Election Day; for English, press the button to vote for the Republican.

 

Cripes, my head hurts.

POST PENDING

We are aware that many of our readers are looking up this blog to learn what we have to say about the young man who revealed the details of the NSA phone and internet monitoring programs.

 

Right now there is too much information spewing out of the various media outlets for us to even comment. It does seem to us a bit odd that the young man who spilled the beans fled to the Red Chinese province of Hong Kong because Hong Kong has "traditionally been a bastion of free speech". 

 

HONG KONG??  Go to Hong Kong and try calling Xi Whatzizname a filthy cocksucker. Say hello to a dungeon and goodbye to daylight, and sit there in the dark wondering if anybody knows where you are. This Snowden kid is at a minimum a dumbass of the first water.

 

Nonetheless, we are not at all sure we are comfortable with the scope of the government communications surveillance project Snowden has purported to expose. Once we find out exactly what is going on; or at least when we have a better idea we will comment.

 

We do live in interesting times. no? 

HASHTAG WHAT?

I have absolutely no use for "Twitter".  Putting every thought you want to communicate into 148 characters or less engenders shallowness and/or horrendous corruptions of the English language that - if experience is any guide - will insinuate themselves into common usage, even in formal settings.  

 

Take shortening "your" or "You are" into "UR".  If this is not brought to a screeching halt, someday you will recieve a traffic citation that says:"UR summoned 2 appear @ ..." 

 

One irksome thing about Twitter is this "hashtag" business. Boys and girls, THIS (#) IS CALLED A "POUND SIGN".  How did this become known as a "hashtag"?

 

Well, I have a theory. First, schools don't teach kids jack squat these days. So when people under a certain age saw a "pound sign" they puzzled at it and some called it "that cross-hatch thingie".  Then it became a "hatch-mark"

 

Then, lousy pronunciation skills mutated "hatch-mark" to "hash-mark".  Then along came Twitter, and since the pound sign was used to set a category (or something) it became a "hashtag".  Thus out of the swamp of ignorance did a new word ride the wave of modern scientific technology and arise to take its place in the majestic English language.

 

Oh, don't get me wrong; brevity has its place. The whole idea behind the Japanese poetic form known as "haiku" is to instill a profound thought into a very rigid framework of lines and syllables. (Any idiot can write something more or less coherent into three lines of five, seven, and five syllables; but to "attain haiku" involves much more than that).  And when sending encrypted messages, the shorter the message the less chance the code can be broken.

 

With that in mind, here is my view on Twitter, encrypted with a WWII German "Enigma" machine:

MKP

LPZ

CDJJS TYPUD RTMTE CTROY PLZJC

 

If any of you geniuses who love Twitter can decode that, send the translation in via comments and I'll publish it and credit the successful decryption to your name. (It's a single encrypt, not a double encryption; and it's in English. Words are set apart by "XX" in the plaintext).

FURTHER COMMENTARY ON THE VOTING AND DRINKIING AGE

I edited the last post for clarity and to correct a couple of typos. I also got an earful last night from a MADD advocate I had as a passenger. She berated me about "all the carnage" MADD's efforts had prevented (I responded by telling her that most of that prevention was due to stepped-up sobriety checks and stricter enforcement and tougher penalties for DWI, not because some 19 year old had to stay stuck in kidland even though he was an adult).

 

What's more, I have noticed ever since the nationwide 21 year old minimum age has been in effect, "drinking holidays" have become ever more tiresome to drive a taxicab during. This is due to younger drinkers, not having been adequately socialized, not knowing how to drink and behave. They do things like stagger up and try to open the doors of a fully loaded taxi, demanding a ride; or standing in the middle of the street waving their arms over their heads; or even jumping right out into the path of a moving taxi to try and force the driver to stop.  Almost without exception these are people in their early 20s. Had they been allowed to drink at an age when they were still in some respects still in awe of older adults, they would have developed the drinking customs of responsible adults and not carried behavior usually seen at an underage keg party into the streets.

 

Moreover, 18-to-20 year olds may still live with their parents and teenage and 'tweener siblings. These "underage adults" associate with classmates and co-workers who are over 21 and can and do buy booze for them. Lots of that booze winds up fuelling teenage parties. The younger siblings then develop the irresponsible drinking behaviors that they, in turn display once they are old enough to legally consume alcohol in public places such as pubs.

 

Not only this, but instead of riding the alcoholic beverage bike with beer training wheels for three years, suddenly at age 21 they are able to purchase and consume pure grain alcohol if they like. The result of that is the behavior you can witness on any weekend night in Old Town Alexandria, Clarendon, Adams-Morgan and other DC area nightlife zones. Imagine driving a cab and seeing some 22 year old kid puking while he has his hand held out trying to flag a cab.

 

And all the while the best of our 18-20s are having political discussions - if they have them at all - with younger kids than themselves and getting their "news" from some comedian on TV. \

 

(By the way, as usual the MADD activists inflate statistics by classifying for instance any crash where a passenger in the back seat had been drinking as "alcohol related" even if the drivers of boh vehicles were as sober as funeral directors. This is why Mark Twain said there were lies, damn lies, and statistics.)

 

This is why the 26th Amendment must be repealed for 24 years. It will take at least that long to re-establish a population of under-21 adults who are integrated into adult society sufficiently to trust them with the vote.

And that will happen only if these younger adults are allowed to socialize with fellow adults instead of the kids' world they have - supposedly - left. Things have come to such a pass because 18 to 20 year old adults have been forced to stay on - rather than leave - Sugar Mountain; and expect the government to pay for the barkers and colored balloons.  It's time to bring  that to a screeching halt.

REPEAL THE 26TH AMENDMENT AND LOWER THE DRINKING AGE TO 18 FOR 3.2 PERCENT BEER ONLY (AND OTHER DANDY CHANGES THAT NEED TO BE MADE)

WE HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM IN THESE UNITED STATES RIGHT NOW and its name is Barack Hussein Obama. This absolutely worst occupant of the highest office of the Executive Branch is now more and more each day being revealed as several kinds of dangerous, incompetent, and even borderline treasonous. There is a good possibility that he has been and continues to be engaged in criminal behaviour.

 

Here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we bark up that tree constantly. However, we have also been thinking about how it might be possible to set things right again. It occurs to us that without the votes of 18, 19, and 20 year olds Obama may not have made it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest in the first place; let alone get re-elected after deliberately engineering one disaster after the other in his first term.

 

Now, I know I have a lot of youngish readers out there; and I know you guys are probably corked at the idea that I am advocating disenfranchising you until you turn 21. But I have thought this through, so read on.

 

I was part of the generation who cast our first votes for President in 1972. The "youth vote" was especially powerful back then - we 18-20s nearly outnumbered our parents' generation - and there was a war on in Vietnam. The Left pushed for the enfranchisement of those who could be drafted and required to serve, hoping that they would provide a wave of victory that would propel the apalling George McGovern into the White House.

 

But a funny thing happened. The under-21s turned out to be just too much like adults. This was because in most places in the country, these people (yours truly included) could and did begin to participate in adult society rather than hanging with our younger siblings and staying jejune and simple. This was possible because at age 18, one could legally partake of that marvelous adult social lubricant alcohol. Suddenly one could go where little brother and little sis were not allowed, and could get to schmooze with more experienced adults and see firsthand what happened to adults who acted like idiots.

 

This was almost everywhere tempered by the fact that those 18 or over but under 21 were limited to beverages of lower octane than "fully fledged" older adults could consume. Typically this meant beer and unfortified wine or (as was the case in my home state of Ohio) "Three-two" beer having not more than 3.2 percent alcohol. (You can get a buzz off of 3.2, but you'll be so waterlogged that you'll have to take a whiz so often it'll be hard to get into serious trouble. Nonetheless, some guys managed.)

 

The overall effect was that those 18 through 20 were allowed and welcomed into adult society, and largely left the clueless world of childhood to explore it. Thus socialized and made to feel like adults, they did responsible things like voting for Nixon and rejecting McGovern.

 

(While it's true that the youth vote went to Carter over Ford, there was huge national disgust over Ford's ineptitude and his pre-emptory pardon of Nixon. In 1980 the youth vote helped propel Ronald Wilson Reagan to the Presidency - and again in 1984).

 

However there was a rising drumbeat being raised by what the left calls "useful idiots".  An organization called "Mothers Against Drunk Driving"; founded by a woman who had lost her daughter to an alcohol-related accident, began to shout for stricter penalties for drunk driving. Leftist elements saw an opportunity to reduce persons who were legally adults and eligible to vote to the social status of high school juniors.  The National Minimum Drinking Age Act - which blackmailed states into raising the drinking age to "21 for everyone" by threatening a loss of highway funds - was pushed through by the likes of the disgusting and thankfully late Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) and signed into law by President Reagan on June 17, 1984.

 

Still it took 24 years before the effects of a young adult crowd being socialized into adult society were fully blunted to the extent that two generations of 18-20 year olds had gone through the first years of their adulthood being forced to play parcheesi in the rec room with little brother and little sis instead of hanging with and learning from more experienced fellow adults. By that time, under-21 adults had become sullen and disaffected. Worse, once they were able to get their hands on booze legally they drank to excess and behaved horribly.

 

It was at this point that they were just ignorant enough to vote for Obama. Cometh the hour, cometh the dunbass. Obama is the dumbass, and in the land of the ignorant the dumbass is king.

 

So all you 18-20s out there, I want you to know that the Statist left is doing to you right out front what it is trying to do to the rest of us: make us into child-like dependents whom they control and who are dependent on the government for everything.

 

To deal with this situation, I propose the following amendment to the Constitution of the United States:

 

"The 26th Amendment to this Constitution is hereby repealed until 24 years shall have passed since the date of ratification of this article.  No person under the age of 21 shall be permitted to vote in any election for Congressional representative, Senator, or for the Presidency of the United States; except that members of the Armed Forces of the United States or any person honorably discharged from such forces; regardless of age; shall not be denied the right to vote in such elections unless otherwise prohibited for reasons other than age by the laws of such State as the person resides in.

 

The National Minimum Drinking Age Act is hereby repealed and declared null and void. No state shall prohibit any person being 18 or more years of age the possession, storage, and consumption of any alcoholic beverage having an alcoholic content of three and two-tenths alcohol by volume or less.

 

And no currently serving member of the United States Armed Forces may be prohibited by any State to purchase, possess, or consume any alcoholic beverage unless such service member's commanding officer shall in the interests of military good order, efficiency, expediency or for other good reason prohibit such purchase, posession, or consumption.

 

No person regardless of age who has been discharged under Honorable conditions from the Armed Forces of the United States shall be debarred from the possession, storage or use of any alcoholic beverage provided that such possession, storage, and use does not otherwise run contrary to to laws of the state wherein the possession, storage and use of alcohol by ordinary adults is controlled.

 

Pass this Amendment, and within 24 years we can once again trust our youngest voters to pay attention and make the right choices.

 

WOUND MY HEART WITH A MONOTONOUS LANGOUR

SIXTY NINE YEARS AGO ON THE EVENING OF JUNE  5TH 1944, THE BBC BROADCAST ITS REGULAR SHORTWAVE PROGRAMMING INTO WHAT IT PLEASED THE GERMAN NAZI REGIME TO CALL  THE "GROSSDEUTCHESREICH" BUT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE KNEW AS "OCCUPIED EUROPE".  These broadcasts regularly contained odd phrases which may or may not - the Germans knew not - be coded orders and information.  "The chair is against the wall" for instance might mean absolutely nothing. It also might mean that the sabotage of a train or the blowing up of an ammo dump had been green-lighted.

 

On this particular evening, one of those phrases was: "Wound my heart with a monotonous langour". It was repeated in French, and those words alerted partisans from Norway to Italy and especially in France that the long awaited invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe would begin before dawn the next day.

 

Scant hours later, paratroopers and gliders packed with soldiers began to swoop down into costal France. Just at morning's light, spotters at the costal defensive posts gasped as the horizon suddenly turned black with the largest fleet of amphibious landing vessels ever assembled before or since.  Some of these contained troops from England and the British Commonwealth bound for the landing sites of Gold, Juno, and Sword beaches. Others contained American troops bound for the two toughest landing sites of the invasion: Utah Beach...

 

And Omaha Beach at Pointe du Hoc. Omaha Beach was the most hellish part of the invasion site. German troops manning artillery and the dreaded MG-42 "buzz-saw" machine guns sat atop a bank of sheer cliffs, waiting to mow down our fighting men as soon as the ramps of the landing boats opened. Entire boatloads of young American troopers were slaughtered before the first soldier set foot outside the landing craft.

 

But there were simply more landing boats than there were machine guns, and our fighting men were able to disembark and make their way across Rommel's booby-trapped beach in sufficient quantities to execute the next stage: scaling those cliffs (while German troops fired down on them) and silencing the machine guns and cannon. There was much carnage, but the American assault was relentless. The American soldiers who made it to the tops of those cliffs eventually silenced the Nazi defensive positions.

 

Once the cliffs of Pointe du Hoc had been neutralized, American engineers began to construct a makeshift harbor on the beachhead. From this harbor began to pour - at first a trickle, then a flood - supplies, armor, and fresh troops. Hitler might have been able to conquer the Soviet Union had not the Invasion of Normandy taken place and succeeded. Had he done so, the result would have been a world dominated by the swastika and the rising sun.

 

What is now commonly known as "D-Day" began a massive refreshment of the Tree of Liberty as the blood of patriots and tyrants began to flow. Less than a year after the first American boot touched the beaches of France, the dragon of National Socialism lay dead and withering.

 

Today I picked up a copy of the Washington Post. There was not one mention of what is arguably the single most consequential day in the history of this nation and the history of this planet since the day in 1775 when "the Embattled Farmers stood, and fired the Shot heard 'round the world".

 

It seems to me that there are many now living who just don't care why they are so free to live in a sort of monotonous langour. And it wounds my heart, indeed.  Four hundred thousand American troopers died to try and free the world from an unspeakable evil, and today not a damned peep about it from the Current Resident of the White House. What? Are we all supposed to just forget about it?

 

Try if you can to remember (or if you can't remember, to imagine) a time when evil was pure deadly evil and not just some kid calling another kid a name. Try to remember when you go out to that nightclub to ogle the members of whichever sex attracts you, that some 19-year-old kid stepped out of a landing boat into 18 feet of water and drowned weighed down by 70 pounds of equipment so you could have your fun.

 

As for me, I sure as hell remember that I can write this blog and say what I damn please in a large part due to the boatloads of American teenagers gunned down before they ever disembarked. So if you didn't remember what day in history this is before you read this, you damn well do now. Read up on it and think. And if you know a World War II veteran, thank him or her and do them some small kindness. It was American blood that quenched the global fire of murderous tyranny in that conflict. And today no remembrance in the Washington Post? Pathetic.

 

 

THE NUTTY NAZI WHO NAMED HIS KIDS AFTER HITLER AND HIMMLER GETS HIS KIDS BACK

I was writing my next novel ("A Piper for Danny") on Monday with the news playing on the TV in back of me when I heard that this hammerhead who had his kids taken from him because he named them "Adolf Hitler" and (I think) "Heinrich Himmler"

 

I can't remember this goofball's name or exactly where he lives, and since he is basically an inconsequential moron I can't be bothered to look it up. (He's basically the  kind of guy who will do something to make himself a public spectacle and I'll say: "oh, yeah, that moron" and go back to what I was doing).

 

The news reader said that the man had regained custody of his sons, and then said that he appeared in court in "a German uniform". That caused me to turn around and look. Holy crap. What a get-up he was wearing.

 

"German uniform" my ass. The Nazis were very bad guys, but the uniforms were designed to look sharp and mean business. This "uniform" bore the insignia of at least four branches of the National Socialist state. Imagine this:

 

First off, the jerk had a six-inch swastika tatooed on the left side of his neck in red.

 

Next, the ensemble was based on a jacket and trousers of the color and cut of a Class-A Waffen SS officer's uniform.  But the collar ornaments were the elongated Roman numeral II in Afrika Korps camouflage denoting a field-grade Army (Heer) officer. 

 

But wait, there's more!

 

Every single department, agency, service, and branch of the Nazi regime had its own version of the "Reichsadler" or national eagle. This guy must be nuts about eagles.

 

Above the left breast pocket was the Kreigsmarine (Navy) eagle clutching a wreath and swastika. On his upper right sleeve was the Waffen-SS eagle with the pointy wings (That emblem belongs on the left shoulder)

 

To top it off, on his left arm - where for a change it belongs - was a swastika armband. But it was not the simple red armband with a black swastika in a white circle (which was worn with the black uniform of the regular SS, but not the Waffen-SS so, WRONG AGAIN). Rather it was an armband with a gold border above and below, further bedecked with a border on the insides of the gold bands consisting of oak leaves intertwined with acorns. That armband was worn by persons working for the Party Chancellory under Martin Bormann.

 

Over all what the moron was wearing was not a "German uniform". It was a bad (albeit well-tailored) Halloween costume. It looked what Oleg Cassini would have come up with if Hitler had asked him to design a "uniform" for wannabes.

 

By the bye, why is it that all these "Nazis" in this country all wear some loose parody of SS or SA officer's insignia? Where are their troopers? After all, an officer without any enlisted underlings is what we call here in America "all hat and no cattle".  This nutbar's uniform was the equivalent of some dude walking down the street in chaps, boots, and jingly spurs with no horse in sight.

 

Well, as they say accentuate the positive. So on a positive note, this "Nazi" would have Hitler rolling over in his grave if Hitler hadn't had his flunkies cremate him in a ditch (That's who this moron idolizes? Sheesh) so, good.

 

Anyway, the dude got his boys back. Something tells me that their stories won't end well. Maybe raising teenagers will straighten his head out. This family is in desparate need of prayer. Gentle readers, please provide that to this woefully misguided soul and his family.

 

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

There used to be some debate as to whether to own an AK-47 copy or an AR-15 type of rifle. The debate centered on the fact that the AK was a much more rugged and low maintenance firearm - there are verified stories of being able to kick open the bolt of a rusted-shut AK and being able to send lead downrange - but that the ammo was different from the NATO .223 (5.62 mm) round fired by the considerably higher-maintenance AR-15.

 

Now, however, we learn the happy news that Romania, having been a NATO member for some time produces AK clones firing the much more available NATO round; and these are available in "civilian legal" semi-auto versions as well. In a "Second Amendment emergency", NATO ammo would be much more easily available, but Hoppes #9 maybe not so much.

 

 

We learn from the news broadcasts that a certain police officer who was shot in the head by a cab driver is suing the company the driver was affiliated with for ten million dollars. The attorneys filing the suit say that the incident would "never have happened if (the company) had not given the driver the keys to a taxicab". 

 

We don't agree. First, there is nothing magical about a taxicab that makes it a superior platform from which to attack a law enforcement officer. Second, the taxicab in question was owned by a private individual who rented a fleet of cabs out to individual drivers. Third and possibly most importantly, before the shooter or anyone else can obtain the keys to a taxicab he or she must be investigated by the police, and the Chief of Police must sign off on his or her permit to drive a taxicab. Either the officer is going to have to name his own department as a co-defendant or the cab company might initiate a lawsuit against the police department for not conducting a sufficient background investigation. Either way, this is bound to get very nasty unless there is a settlement.

 

We support the wounded officer and his family; and no doubt the medical and other expenses involved in his recovery are going to be astronomical. But hiring a bloodsucker lawyer to go after the deepest pockets he can find on grounds however specious can only lead to a lot of unnecessary venom between the parties. So we hope the cab company and the officer can work something out. Otherwise things will get - and quite needlessly - very nasty, very rapidly. Lawyers are in general not so much after "justice for my client" as they are after 33.3 percent (plus fees).

 

Finally, the Alexandria Daily Poop predicts that Attorney General Eric Holder will either resign, be hounded out of office, impeached, or arrested for perjury some time between Midsummer's Day and Labor Day. Whatever, it will be good riddance to bad rubbish. Hope springs eternal, now, don't it?

INTERNET "FREE AMERICA" CALLING CHINA

WE were going to skip a few days - which we do anyway from time to time since this is OUR publication and we figure we can tun this here railroad however we damn please - when we noticed that we seem to be getting a lot of traffic from Red China.

 

Now, knowing what the Chicom dicatorship's policies are regarding viewing materials on the Internet, we are pretty sure Chinese citizens are prohibited from viewing this rag. And we are pretty sure that the reason is that the Chinese government does not want to be criticized. 

 

So if you are a Chinese common citizen trying to - well, we don't do porn here, so sorry; but if it's freedom in action you are looking to see, then look here, where we regularly make the case that the most powerful man in America is a nincompoop, a liar, and quite possibly may be guilty of treason. And NOBODY can do one damn thing about it!!  It's true! Look at this:

 

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS A PIG TURD

 

We are going to sleep quite soundly tonight knowing of a certainty that the "authorities" not only will not knock on our door to call us to account for the above statement, but that they DARE NOT DO SO. 

 

Try making a public statement like that about your leader, signing your own full legal name to it the way we do here. We are sure he will send his thanks - whoops, we mean his tanks - in response.

 

We are also sure that about 80-90 percent of our Red Chinese readers are Chinese secret police. Read on, you guys. If we can subvert you here and tempt you to the side of Freedom, then all the better. We'll tell you Chinese government types this much: If you think you can ruin the United States economy without ruining yourselves, think again. Call the debt and we will just print another trillion dollars and send it in. And when the resulting global financial catastrophe settles, the USA and the dollar will be on top of the heap, just like we are now.

 

Whoever you are and no matter what nation you are from, when you are reading the Alexandria Daily Poop you are seeing America's gift of freedom being demonstrated with every word, every letter, and every hit of the spacebar on this here laptop. You are not truly free unless you can - absolutely without fear - tell your nation's head of state to get bent. A leader who demands respect instead of deserving it is unfit to be a leader at all. Saying this will not get US so much as questioned by the police, never mind being sent to jail or worse. This is the RIGHT of every person on the planet. The only difference is, here in the United States that right MUST be respected OR ELSE.  Most other places, notably Red China, that is not the case.

 

And that is why the Chicom authorities don't want you common Chinese citizens reading the Alexandria Daily Poop. We are probably keeping a few of the Red Chinese secret police busy monitoring us, and that's that many fewer agents to hurt you Chinese citizens.  And you are very welcome. Thanks for reading the Alexandria Daily Poop.