ASHTON KUTCHER, CONSERVATIVE? (And other matters - mid August Break posting)

THERE IS, IT SEEMS, NO REST FOR THE WEARY. Every single time we take a break, stuff mounts up. So, for our gentle readers we feel obligated to sit down and write a small commentary on some of the biggest and/or most important and/or most unusual events of late.

 

ASHTON KUTCHER

 

We are mostly familiar with Ashton as the lovable dumbass Michael Kelso on the TV sitcom "That 70's Show"; or else from his going on Saturday Night Live sans pants, with tight white briefs showing the outline of a package that would have had PFC Bradley Manning drowning in his own drool.

 

But he may not really be a dumbass, even if he did play one on TV. Recently Kutcher accepted some kind of reward and gave a speech in which he extolled the values of hard, menial work to a bunch of kids who probably needed to hear it.

 

Ashton Kutcher is probably a Democrat, probably a big leftie, and probably voted for Obama. But the other night, he sounded eerily like US.

 

Hope springs eternal.

 

THE BRADLEY MANNING WIKILEAKS CASE

 

We were shocked to learn yesterday that PFC Bradley Manning, during the sentencing phase of his court-martial for espionage and other offenses, had said that he had told his commanding officer about his emotional instability about "transgender issues".   Further, he had sent a photo of himself wearing a wig and lipstick to his commander.

 

For his part, the commander made no move to begin administrative proceedings to separate Manning from the service. In fact, no effort was made to revoke his TOP SECRET CRYPTOLOGIC SECURITY CLEARANCE, and he was allowed to handle ultra-sensitive classified information, even though his commander knew (or should have known, and no duh about it) that he was about as stable as an ice cube in a forest fire.

 

We predict that Manning willbe sentenced as follows: Reduction in rank to basic Private, forfieture of all pay and allowances, and fifty years confinement at hard labor in the United States Disciplinary Barracks; with all but ten years suspended, a suspended fine of ten million dollars, and an Undesirable Discharge (one step above Dishonorable) upon release from custody.

 

Once that has been accomplished, a general court-martial should be convened to look into what should be done about the officers who let Manning keep handling classified material even after it was clear that he was a fruit cake.

 

 

"THE FREE SILVER SCAM" UPDATE

 

The guy who's putting out these radio ads about how to get banks to give you "free silver" by saying five words just ran another ad with the first three words at the end. these words are: "Do you have any".  Here are the last two: "half-dollars".

 

SO when you walk into a bank and say "Do you have any half-dollars", then if they do, you can trade every dollar you have for two half-dollar coins. Some of these may have some silver content, but it is almost certain that every half-dollar you recieve will have the same "shiny on the outside, phony on the inside" composition of the quarters people will drop in your cup if you quit your job hoping to get "free silver" and wind up a homeless beggar. Rotsa Ruck.