ADAM KOKESH IS NUTS-O

We have mentioned Adam Kokesh before in these pages. Kokesh is yet another "professional public spectacle" for whom apparently the only bad publicity is no publicity. Up until a few days after Independence Day, he was perhaps best known for trying to rally one million people to march across Memorial Bridge from Virginia to Washington, D.C. with loaded rifles on July 4th. He was promptly informed by the Metropolitan Police and the United States Park Police that this would not be countenanced. We don't know if it was because Kokesh couldn't find one million people who were both as nutty as he is AND owners of functioning rifles; or if Kokesh himself just (wisely) chickened out. In any event, the "protest" was cancelled.

 

But Kokesh was not out of tricks. He made and posted online a video of himself loading a pump-action riot gun in Freedom Plaza on Pennsylvania Avenue. This got the attention of the Park Police, MPDC, and no doubt the Secret Service (Freedom Plaza is within a stone's throw of the White House).

 

Kokesh's house was searched and authorities came up with a baggie full of psylocybin mushrooms. He was promptly arrested and faces drug and firearms charges in Virginia and the District of Columbia.

 

What a dope.

 

Therefore, we have written a little ditty in his "honor":

 

ADAM KOKESH IS A NUT

(sung to the tune of "Yankee Doodle")

Copyright 2013 by F. Allen Norman, Jr.

 

Adam Kokesh went downtown,

loaded up his shot-gun,

Made a YouTube video and thought it was a hot one.

 

Adam Kokesh, you're a dope,

now you sit in jail,

Mind that you don't drop the soap

(we hear you can't get bail!)

 

The cops then raided Adam's crib

They turned it upside down,

They found his shotgun and his drugs;

Now Adam wears a frown

 

Now he sits in D.C. Jail,

Adam sho' is crazy

If makin' folks think he's nuts is work,

then Adam sho' ain't lazy!

 

Adam Kokesh, you're a dope,

now you sit in jail,

Mind that you don't drop the soap!

(We hear you can't get bail)

 

What can we say? Sheesh.

 

"PHONY SCANDALS"? INDEED.

The Current Resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest has spent the past few days making speeches in which he bemoaned what he calls "phony scandals" which are "distracting" Washington from his saintly goals of taking everything away from the people who work and giving it to the people who don't; and creating as large a pool of dependent non-workers as he can.

 

Obama's bemoaning of "phony scandals" is the truth. However, he cannot be talking about Benghazigate, because that IS a scandal and it is NOT going away (but it has been somewhat dormant).

 

He also cannot be talking about IRS-gate, the scandal that only becomes more scandalous every day, and the Obama team's efforts to cover it up and sweep it under the rug are failing spectacularly.

 

So, he must be talking about the Democrat attempt to hang a bunch of phony, trumped up scandals aimed at tarring Virginia Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli by hanging suspicion over the head of current Virginia Governor Rob McDonnell.

 

Leave it to the ASPs* in the Democrat Party to focus like a laser on completely legal activity and call it suspicious, while at the same time completely ignoring the Supreme Law of the Land - the Constitution - and doing what they damn well please. McDonnell took a couple of loans and some gifts from some rich guy he happens to be friends with. That is really all there is to it, but to hear the Democrats howl one would think he had gotten the money by murdering his friend's mother-in-law.

 

In a typical Democrat filthy trick, last night the local NBC (No Believable Content) affiliate ran a story on this phony scandal with a picture of McDonnell in the background. Above McDonnell's head was the seal of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The intent, of course, was to imply that a criminal investigation of McDonnell was underway. That is an excoriable LIE. NO FBI involvement in the McDonnell "affair" has been announced to date.

 

The intent of the Democrat party and their toadies in the media is not to force McDonnell to resign (although they will be very happy if that is a side effect of this smear campaign). The main target is Ken Cuccinelli. The Democrat Party would love to install the appalling Terry McAuliffe in Richmond, where he no doubt would be happy to encourage and sign (for starters) any and all anti-second amendment bills to come his way and to exercise all of his Executive power to make life hard for law-abiding firearms owners any way he could.  

 

THAT is the reason for this phony Democrat scandal in Virginia, to allow the Democrat Party to install a satrap in the Commonwealth. We can only hope our fellow Virginians will see this game of dirty pool for exactly what it is.

 

"Phony scandals"? Why, yes, we would say so.

 

*ASP= "American Statist Progressive(s)"

JUROR B-29: THE NEXT PROFESSIONAL PUBLIC SPECTACLE?

We should have known we would be writing again on the subject of the trial of George Zimmerman in the - it has been established by verdict of a jury - justifiable homicide of teenage thug Trayvon Martin. However, an incident has arisen that rises above all of the predictable and banal stupidity that swirls around this verdict and takes its place among some of the most spectacularly idiotic and dangerous things to be said about that verdict to date.

 

When I was in sixth grade, I had a teacher named Mrs. Hubler. She ridiculed the idea of a woman ever becoming President of the United States because, as she mockingly put it:

 

"Can you imagine a woman president negotiating with (Soviet) Premier Brezhnev? 'Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, Premier Brezhnev, you're so mean!' Women are just too emotional to be President." (Actual quote from Mrs. Hubler, Wayne Township Public Schools, circa 1965).

 

Comes now Juror B-29 (known as "Mandy") from the jury room of the Zimmerman murder trial, and this woman has me wondering if maybe Mrs. Hubler was right.

 

"Mandy" came forward and gave an interview to ABC, in which she said that "in (her) heart" she believed that Zimmerman was guilty of murder but that she was constrained by the fact that the evidence showed that Zimmerman did not violate Florida law. She then declared that Zimmerman "got away with murder". Then she said that the rest of the jury browbeat her into rendering a "not guilty" verdict.

 

Her statements were all over the place and it sounds to us like she is full of crap. In our opinion, she's trying at a minimum to call atttention to herself and at a maximum to cash in on her participation in this ado.  Well, if "Mandy" wants some ink, she should get herself a tattoo.

 

Predictably, "Mandy"'s pronouncements have sparked an "AH HAH!" reaction among the followers of scumbags Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. A guest on one of Sharpton's programs excoriated "Mandy" saying that if she had a feeling in her heart, she should have gone with that and not the evidence. This is an extremely dangerous attitude. Justice is not the satisfaction of gut feelings and emotion. Justice is law, evidence, and process.

 

Here's what we here at the Alexandria DailyPoop think should be done: Put all these female jurors in a wading pool full of Jello, let them have a cat-fight, put it on pay-per-view, and use the proceeds to help retire the national debt. Why not? Nearly everyone involved even peripherially with this matter has been to some degree trying to make hay from it, and things are getting more and more ridiculous. Why not just cut to the chase?

BEST PUBLIC SERVICE AD EVER!

There is a public-service ad out that's been rnning for a few weeks. It's a riot.

An old black spinster is sitting in her rocking chair knitting when she gets up to check out a commotion outside her window. She looks down on a beefy. shaven-headed black dude in his mid 30s, who is pirouetting with his left hand on his hip and his right hand snapping fingers over his head. He is chanting, "Oh, those boys are much too much, those boys are much too much!" He looks like the punch line to the world's lamest faggot joke.

The camera switches to ground level as the guy gets really campy. Then the camera pulls back and you find out that the guy is just helping his litle girl practice her cheerleader routines.

 

Awww...

 

If you haven't seen this one, you ought to.  

OBAMA DESTROYS DETROIT

After saying in his re-election campaign that Mitt Romney and the Republicans would simply "let Detroit go bankrupt"; yesterday Obama ... simply let Detroit go bankrupt.

It is the biggest municipal bankruptcy in history, and the second to take place under the watch of the Current Resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest, Barack Hussein Obama. The first municipal bankruptcy Obama presided over was that of Jefferson County, Alabama. That one was for a cool 4 billion dollars, and occurred in 2011; two years into Obama's first lease on 1600 Penn. What a leader! Because it has taken him a few months less than two years to wind up presiding over an even bigger muni bankruptcy. Detroit is short a whopping 19 BILLION DOLLARS. That, folks, is almost FIVE TIMES AS LARGE AS HIS FIRST BANKRUPT LOCAL GOVERNMENT. 

 

Some guy told us that Obama "is outdoing Clinton".  Boy, we'll say he is! Clinton presided over the bankruptcy of Orange County, California; which was at the time the holder for the world all-time municipal bustout but has been bested (or worsted) TWICE by ol' donkey-ears. And Orange County was only for a measly 1.8 billion. Detroit is TEN TIMES the disaster.

 

This is the city that Obama said would fall to ruin under Mitt Romney.  Well, he was wrong. Because Detroit just went completely to hell under him, instead.  And interestingly enough, it started going to hell around 1967, under the watch of yet another maven of the Democrat Party, Lyndon Baines Johnson.

 

This is one turd Obama won't be able to polish. Articles of Impeachment, House Republicans? Get started now so that on January 2nd 2015 you'll be ready to go. Seriously, you guys. Get busy. The country may not survive another 3 1/2 years of Obama's "leadership".

 

 

THE STRANGE CASE OF THE RACIST ASPARAGUS

Why is it that particularly some persons of African-American heritage see "racism" as the reason for every little thing that irks them?

 

 

A guy honks at him to alert him the light has changed, the guy is racist and threatening him. Somebody dawdles in front of him at the next light, it's one of those racists trying to inconvenience him because he's black.

 

And on and on, the white guy at the McDonalds shorted him a french fry out of racism. Some racist took the parking spot closest to the door.

 

We thought we were imagining things, but then we found out about a black man in Missouri who managed to find "racism" in some lousy wilted asparagus.

 

 

The asshole in question is named David Olander. He is a "Human Relations Commissioner" in University City, Missouri. Olander was shopping at the (this is all fact, we are not making anything up here) "Schmuck's" supermarket in University City when he spotted a display of asparagus which had not been set in water and had become partially dried out and wilted.

 

Rather than simply going to the store manager and asking if there was any fresh asparagus and pointing out the conditon of the display, Olander saw the dark dire demon of "racism" lurking in the dessicated stalks. Unsatisfied with the manager's explanation and offer to supply fresh vegetables, Olander went to a supermarket five miles away and was outraged to see the asparagus there sitting in water and fresh as could be. Well, by God he decided that here was evidence that racism is absolutely rampant in University City.

 

Why?

 

Because the store with the wilted asparagus was in a "predominantly black area" while the store with the fresh asparagus was in a "white" area.

 

Good freaking grief. And yes, Olander made a major case about it, and his actions triggered meetings between the upper management and the managers of individual stores, and subsequently between store managers and staff. All because some minor neglect of the produce section was enough to trigger this ludicrous claim of race prejudice.

 

This is absolutely ri-god-damn-fuckingDICULOUS. Olander is a "Human Relatiions" commissioner who is trying to fan the flames of racism - whether he thinks so or not.  We are rather inclined to speculate that the motives of Olander (and others of his ilk) are that if for instance "human relations" improve, he may wind up out of a job. So, like the fireman who sets fires so he can be a hero putting them out, Olander might just be trying to gin up as much evidence as possible that his job is indispensible. Or maybe he's just an asshole. (More like a hemmorhoid, come to think about it.)

 

Oh well. Let's all just give thanks it wasn't the watermelon display he was bitching about. (We bet Phil Hendrie will do a bit about just that within the next two weeks. Maybe he could use "Mavis" as the complainer. If you don't know about Phil, google him. His show is a riot.)

 

Racist ASPARAGUS?? Cripes.

TRIAL AND ERRORS

The verdict in the Zimmerman trial came in late Saturday night. There haven't been any disturbances around Alexandria...yet. But there have been incidents in other parts of the country.

 

The voices coming onto the conservative talk shows mostly belong to people who object to the verdict and who in many cases get on the show by pretending to agree with the host that the acquittal of Zimmerman was the correct call by the jury. They then proceed to mouth so many variations of absolute (and mostly irrelavent) bullshit that I have neither the time nor the inclination to repeat them all.

 

But a pattern is emerging of "seminar callers" making their main point the fact that Zimmerman "got out of that truck with a gun".  Well, yes he did, but he neither drew nor used it until he was pinned to the ground by a young thug and getting the crap punded out of his head.

 

The race hustlers are trying to make big hay out of this, of course. Al Sharpton said that this acquittal means that now there's a law that "allows a white adult to confront and gun down a black teenager who has committed no crime" (Hey, Sharpton. Martin didn't get shot until he pinned Zimmerman down and began beating on him and wouldn't stop. That's a crime, you idiot).

 

The rank idiocy of these people is frightening. Far too many of them said that Zimmerman "didn't prove he didn't do it".  (A defendant doesn't have to prove a damn thing. That's a linchpin of the protections afforded criminal defendants, who are presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law. But never mind, these people have their agenda).

 

I hate to even write about this, and I am sick of heaaring about it. NOTHING matters in this case, not whether or not Zimmerman got out of his truck, not what the police dispatcher told him, none of it except who threw the first punch.

 

One last observation: many callers said Martin was (this is ridiculous) frightened by Zimmerman's following him and punched Zimmerman in "self-defense against being stalked".  These same people say Zimmerman should have called the police (he did!).  Okay, so why didn't Martin call the police? If he was so damned scared, why did he call his girlfriend?

 

This is the end of the entire matter as far as the ADP is concerned: The jury returned a unanimous verdict of "not guilty". Six women, and they all agreed; and they came to the verdict fairly quickly. Period.

 

Case closed.

EAT IT, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU. NO! WAIT! STAY AWAY FROM IT, YOU COULD GET CANCER!

Here we go again with yet another food that was either denounced as being "bad for you" being suddenly discovered to be actually okay to eat or even "good for you" (like the incredible edible egg and coffee); or else having been touted for years as the way to a healthy heart being discovered to also be possibly the way to an early grave.

 

Such is the case today with "omega 3 fatty acids" AKA "fish oil". Supposedly beneficial in reducing "bad cholesterol" and other things, it is now being pointed to with alarm by dieticians and medical science as a possible cause of an aggressive form of prostate cancer.

 

Frankly, and we are not a doctor, we advocate eating what you like and using some FUCKING COMMON SENSE about it. We held the position of bicycle courier for a solid year back in the early 90s, and found that our body would absolutely lust for spaghetti and marinara sauce when we needed carbs for energy, and some meat or rice and beans when we needed protien for stamina. And we've always eaten salad as a last course because we know that a wad of fiber ought to follow what's in the plumbing rather than precede it.

 

You need fat and salt in your diet. Fat is what carries vitamins to their destinations, much as a truck carries building materials to a construction site.

 

Why in Sam Hill does eating have to be so rigorous and punitive? I remember Ann Landers telling parents that it was okay for teens to eat all the pizza they want, as long as "they have a salad with it".  And I have always suspected that the salad was less for "fiber and nutrition" than it was needed to supply a punishment for the pleasure of the pizza (this was in the day when most places served boring iceberg-lettuce-and-tomato-wedge salads).

 

So now what was formerly good for your heart can be bad for your dick. Screw it, if I a want to eat mackerel sushi or salmon I'm fucking eating it. You want to hire some Torquemada wannabe as your personal chef? Go right ahead.  As Shel Silverstein observed, you're still gonna die. And to paraphrase Chuck Anesi (chcck his web page, it's priceless!), if you could be made immortal by eating a diet of nothing but raw dog turds for all eternity, would you do it?

 

Oh, and about that prostate cancer business. Busy hands are happy hands, and a busy prostate is a happy prostate. Jerk that bad boy off at least once a day (and twice on Sunday) to keep both hands and prostate busy and happy. There's a reason that spinsters and lesbians have higher rates of breast and reproductive organ cancer than do active straight women. Be it your heart or your hydraulics, that thang needs its exercise. Grab that oar and stroke, stroke, stroke,

DSTRICT OF COLUMBIA TRIES TO EXTORT MONEY FROM WAL-MART

Gentle readers, back in the 1980s former Nixon Attorney General John Mitchell was asked if he would approve of the city government of the District of Columbia being approved to issue municipal bonds. Mitchell replied that he might, if only the District were not "run like the Amos 'n Andy Cab Company". 

 

Of course charges flew that Mitchell was "racist". "Amos 'n Andy" was a 1950s-to-early 1960s television program about the members of Harlem's (fictional) "Mystic Knights of the Sea Lodge Hall". Amos 'n Andy were the owners of a cab company. George Stevens (married to Sapphire Stevens and constantly at war with his mother-in-law whom he called "the ol' barracuda") was the head of the club, and his title was "Kingfish".  A sharpie lawyer named "Calhoun" and a slow-witted janitor nicknamed "Lightnin'" rounded out the main cast. In episode after episode, the Lodge members - usually at the urging of Kingfish - got involved in one get rich quick scheme after another, only to be thwarted and wind up in over their heads, and in the end getting rescued by Sapphire and/or her mother. It was basically "The Honeymooners" (or for all you kids out there, "The Flinstones") only with a cast of black folks.

 

What prompted Mitchell's remark is that the District was then led by Marion Shepilov Barry, who made Kingfish Stevens look like a paragon of wisdom and rectitude. We are rather surprised that Barry never proposed that the city - as Kingfish proposed (disastrously) to the Lodge - that D.C. invest in a chinchilla ranch.

 

Well, today D.C. is led by a City Council composed of a more diverse group of black, white, gay, and Asian members. Unfortunately, the Mystic Knights of the Sea would be a more competent body for the governance of the Nation's Capital. Today's post is about a case in point.

 

Time out of mind, the District leadership has bemoaned the fact that retail and grocery and dining options east of the Anacostia mostly amounted to little more than fried chicken joints and bodegas and liquor stores that kept their employees and merchandise behind bulletproof glass. Of course, the openness and convenience (and lower prices) of large groceries and other retailers were looked upon by the bad elements in the neghborhoods as opportunities, and no one in his right mind is about to open a business which could find itself robbed, pilfered and vandalized into bankruptcy in a matter of months.

 

Some time last year, WalMart decided to try and fill the gap. They lobbied the City Council to allow for not one but SIX Walmart stores in D.C..  These stores would be backed up by WalMart's ability to spend money to hire off-duty D.C. police officers as security to prevent criminal activity against either the store or its customers. WalMart could have brought jobs with a real chance of advancement to some of D.C.'s most benighted neighborhoods. Certainly most of the jobs would have started at D.C.'s overly generous minimum wage of more than eight dollars an hour. That's more than a burger-flipper gets over here in Virginia.

 

The Council gave its blessing, and Walmart started construction on three of the proposed six sites.

 

Then, yesterday, the D.C. City Council decided - as usual - to fuck everything up. They proposed to force "large retailers" - using a definition of "large retailer" that would apply to few entities other than WalMart - to pay out a special minimum "living wage" of over 12 dollars per hour. The attitude behind this move was expressed by a woman in a "man in the street" interview who said: "They can afford to pay it, so they need to pay it". 

 

Wow. Just... wow.

 

Maybe I ought to be allowed to estimate how much money you have when you get into my cab. Dulles from Alexandria? Well, let's see... Okay, you live in a $720,000 house and have three Beemers in the driveway, so I'm gonna charge you five hundred dollars for the ride, since you can afford to pay it.  What are you gonna do about it?

 

Of course you are going to tell me to go fuck myself and find another cab. And that's exactly what WalMart is doing. Pass that wage bill, they have told D.C., and the deal's off.

 

Well, maybe it's not so bad after all. See, D.C. is run by the same ilk of lefties who despise Wal-Mart because Wal-Mart sucks the life out of "small businesses".  In this case, the "small businesses" are not some cluster of overpriced boutiques and bicycle shops that sell the stuff that lefties approve of, but rather overpriced stores with justifiably paranoid (justifiably paranoid? Well, we are talking about D.C.) security that sell booze and junk food. The lefties who run D.C. despise these little shops, but they despise WalMart even more. Why?

 

Because WalMart is successful and makes a large profit. By the lights of the D.C. government, if you drink yourself into the poorhouse and near-oblivion then you are the very image of God and deserving of everything the community can give. But if you manage to turn a profit, you owe it to the City, so that they can give it to the wastrel (after, of course, the wise salons of the metropolis have taken their cut). And in his gratitude, the wastrel will vote for those who extort for him his daily sustenance, wringing his bread for him from the sweat of the brows of his betters.

 

We started this post by comparing the antics of the D.C. city council to those of the chaaracters of the old Amos 'n Andy TV show. But we feel we must apologize to these fictional characters. In none of their schemes did the members of the Mystic Knights of the Sea Lodge Hall ever demonstrate the rapacity of this city council. These characters were lower-middle-class blacks who were groping for a way to get ahead. The D.C. city council is quite possibly the most predatory and venal local government in these United States. John Mitchell (if he were still alive) would owe an apology to Amos 'n Andy.

 

 

RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND AND TELL THE TRUTH: ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ALL THE APOLOGISTS FOR TREYVON MARTIN?

We haven't said a whole lot here about the circus known as the "Martin/Zimmerman" trial down in Sanford, Florida; and if by some chance you don't know what we are talking about here then count yourself lucky (especially lucky you didn't get made an honorary citizen of Sanford, Florida and wind up dragooned into jury duty). 

 

For the rest of you, we are sure you have heard all the people on the talk shows getting all worked up and trying to convict Zimmerman and paint Martin as a saint. Basically these folks all say the same damn thing, which consists of the following series of statements; although not necessarily in the order presented:

 

"To my way of thinking, Zimmerman is guilty". Really? Well. tough shit. The standard of proof is "beyond a reasonable doubt"; not "to (your) way of thinking". Who the fuck are you, anyway? and who the fuck do you think you are?

 

"But the police ordered him to stay in his truck, and he got out. Why didn't he obey the cops?" Well, Poindexter, for one thing the 911 dispatcher (not a cop) told Zimmerman that they did not need for Zimmrman to follow Martin around. He was never ordered to do one damn thing. And the reason Zimmerman said he got out oif the truck was to check the street address he was at to inform the cops as to where things were taking place. According to Zimmerman, he was walking back to his truck when Martin - instead of just continuing on his way - "japped" Zimmerman and sucker-punched him to the ground.

 

"But that was Treyvon's voice screaming on that 911 tape!" Maybe it was (but it wasn't; but for the sake of argument). And maybe he was mocking Zimmerman sadistically. Or maybe it was some horrified bystander screaming for help; someone who has seen what happens to people who get involved in this mess and who is determined never to come forward.

 

We will save time, space, bandwidth and sanity by cutting to the chase.  After all these arguments have been shot down, Treyvon Martin's apologists then resort to using the race-card and name-calling, saying anyone who doesn't agree that Zimmerman murdered Martin in cold blood and thinks Martin is less than the Blessed Baby who was born, born, born in Bethlehem is a racist. Here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we would like to invite all you idiots using this "race card" bullshit to have a nice, frosty tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP, on us.

 

We are sick of hearing this crap. This is why we have mostly ignored this trial, but it has gotten to be too much to bear without doing a post (and besides, our readers rather expected one, so here you go).

 

Now in the (extremely likely) event that Zimmerman is cleared of all charges, we are prepared for the riots that may follow. We have been in contact with a number of people who are similarly prepared to deal with such a situation. Try Googling "What will you do if there are riots over Zimmerman/Martin" before you go out raising hell. Then think again, and let the legal system take its course. That's all we have to say about it. But a word to the wise is wasted on a dumbass. Peace out.

EDWARD SNOWDEN, FRUITCAKE

Hello. gentle readers. We promised to say what we thought of this business with former NSA subcontractor employee Edward Snowden as soon as we knew enough about what is going on to think anything about the affair at all. Here are our conclusions:

 

 

Edward Snowden is a fruitcake of the first water. What idiot hired a high school dropout to handle this nation's most sensitive secrets? And even if he IS the fucking genius that allegedly made him such a hot property, did ANYBODY in the hiring process think to subject him to a multi-phasic personality exam?? And if so, what MPPE was used? Our suggestion is to find another test to administer, because the one used obviously failed, and catastrophically so.

 

 

Snowden is living in a fantasy world wherin he - the dweeb who couldn't make it through high school - becomes The Saviour of the World and everyone acknowledges that his superior intelligence makes him real fucking valuable and he winds up getting more pussy than Wilt Chamberlain and more money than Donald Trump.

 

Damned near every country he might flee to recognizes him as a fat-mouthed moron who will blab their secrets to the world if he can. Snowden  just cannot be trusted with even what he might learn while going through the asylum process in whatever nation consents to take him in.

 

Putin offered Snowden asylum in Russia if only he would SHUT THE FUCK UP. Snowden refused that condition.

 

 

Well, Edward Snowden seems to us to be trying for a stab at the new American career field of "Professional Public Specctacle".  What he - being a DUMBASS - did not (and from all accounts still does not) understand is that the only place on the planet that crapola flies is here in the USA; which he betrayed as part of his effort to become a PPS.

 

 

Had Snowden gone through standard reporting channels, he might have garnered a bit of respect from us. We will be the first to say that what he exposed about NSA monitoring practices raises certain Constitutional issues. But Snowden's subsequent behavior has more "look at me" to it than it does an urging to look at what our government is up to. 

 

 

At last report he is still stuck at the Moscow airport. What may well be happening and what may well be far beyond his ken is that Vladimir Putin is a former top officer of the Soviet secret police. He wants to be rid of this dangerous and - more importantly - inconvenient fool. If Snowden does not leave Russia while he is still occupying his rib cage, he may well depart before his body does. We would bet dollars to donuts that right now the Russian State Security organization is attempting to find a plausible way of offing this Americanski Fruitcakeski and repatriating his cold, dead corpse to America.

 

Snowden is such a freaking fool that he does not realize the danger he's in. Our advice to him is to request the American embassy take him in and repatriate him to stand trial. Otherwise and even if he is taken in by one of Putin's pals, he will be dead before Labor Day. What an idiot.

IN MEMORIAM: AIDAN COVINGTON CHARLES, APRIL 11 1983 - DECEMBER 24 2011

I had planned to write a post today about the folks I met after the fireworks in D.C. and the knuckleheads who I had to deal with. It would have been hilarious.

 

But I observed a couple of kids doing stunts on rollerblade skates, and I thought about a guy I knew a while back named Aidan Charles; and I decided to Google Aidan and find out what if anything he might be up to. I was stunned to find out that he died at his home on Christmas Eve of 2011 at the way-too-young age of 28.

 

I have not found out the cause of his passing, and the remarks from some of his friends and admirers speculate that he might have committed suicide. I rather doubt this. Aidan was full of life, and his spirit overflowed and infected everyone I know of who ever met him. If I had to speculate I'd guess that either he died while practicing his rollerblade tricks - I have seen him do things that made me cringe - or else mixed lots of Christmas celebratory recreational substances and overdid it to the point of dying.  I don't know, but that's just my best guess.

 

Aidan and I quite literally ran into each other in the early summer of 1996. I was walking out of a 7-11 in the Westover section of Arlington County, Virginia with a 20 ounce cup of much-needed coffee in my hand when I was blindsided by what turned out to be Aidan, who had been doing skater stunts and  jumped a two-foot brick wall and slammed into me, knocking us both to the ground. The first thing I saw after I had shaken off the shock was his goofy, freindly 13-year-old grin. I couldn't have possibly been angry - although I was fixing to be before I saw that grin - especially since I had been able to break my fall and save my coffee.

 

I saw and spoke with Aidan and his pals many times in the next three years. I came to call him "little brother". He was highly intelligent - I estimate his IQ to have been in the 125 - 150 range - and quickly found out that he and I had two things in common: we loved freedom and hated "funsuckers". (When I told him about that term "funsuckers" (coined by P.J. O'Rourke and referring to the assholes who suck the fun out of everything for the pettiest and most ridiculous reasons) he cracked up and agreed that "funsuckers" were a huge problem).

 

If I were to express Aidan's character in breif, I would say that he was "cheerfully defiant and fearless". He so longed to be independent. He never ever said it - whatever it was - couldn't be done. Just sometimes he thought it might be a lame idea.

 

Once I pitched the idea to Aidan of making a video of him doing a skater's interpretation of the flamenco guitar styles of "siguriyas" and "soleares".  He rejected it as being "figure skating" and (of course) "lame". But the truth is, Aidan himself was the very embodiment of the translation-defying flamenco quality of "duende"

 

(The best definition of duende I can come up with is "fuck it", in all of its forms; from "I know the bills are due but it's time to party so fuck it" down to "Fuck it, there's no hope left." and all the gradiations between the two).

 

Some time around January of 1998 I wrote a poem in Aidan's honor. He never saw it, I've looked for my original text but it's temporarily lost in this pigpen of a studio I live in. The poem is one of a very few works of mine that I have declared to be in the public domain - meaning it can be copied and used for any reason and/or purpose by anybody.

 

It is a series of four Haiku style verses. The original title was "Four Haiku for a Skater" but I have repressed my gag reflexes and re-titled it as follows:

 

4 HAIKU 4 A SK8TER

(written 1999 by F. Allen Norman, Jr. - copyright waived, public domain. In Memory of Aidan C. Charles)

 

Skater in Summer,

By using Laws of Physics

Seems to defy them.

 

Like leaf in Autumn

Falls and whirls so gracefully,

Lightly touches down.

 

Expression of Spring,

So full of life and fearless

Moves as he pleases

 

Winter has no claim

On him. Loudly he declares:

"We need never die!"

 

I am immensely distressed to have learned of your passing,  Little Brother. 

 

 

 

 

INDEPENDENCE DAY 2013

We bet you thought we were going to deliver another solemn lecture about Liberty paid in Blood and such things. Well, no one should ever forget that freedom is most definitely not free. The Colonies had been warring with Great Britain for more than a year before the Declaration of Independence was ever signed, and KIng George III took the signatures on the document to be tantamount to confessing high treason against the Crown.

 

 

So rather, I would ask that everyone read the Declaration of Independence that was signed 237 years ago. And note that many of the violations of King George III listed as the reasons for the breakup with Britain are usurpations of freedom that over time have been allowed to sneak into our social and political fabric.

 

In particular when referring to the Current Resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest I would point you to the charge of "dissolving legislatures" (as his just breezily declaring the Senate to be in recess so he could appoint his picks for a couple of Cabinet positions without having to try to convince the Senate to okay them); and the charge of  "(Erecting) a multitude of new offices" and (sending) forth swarms of officers to eat out our substance" (Obamacare and 17,000 new Infernal Revenuers, anyone?)

 

Benjamin Franklin was on the Committee of Five that oversaw the writing of the Declaration. When asked what the Committee had given the People, he said: "A Republic, if you can keep it." And when we look at how we have let the abuses of King George sneak back into our political life, I say we may be in danger of losing that Republic.

 

But do enjoy this day, be it at a backyard cookout with Dad and Grandpa lighting off some skyrockets, or maybe you'll be down on the National Mall enjoying the Folklife Festival and one of the most spectacular fireworks displays in the country.

 

And when you finish, I and my contemporaries will be waiting to drive your tired and exhausted selves back to your homes and hotels. Maybe you'll get me, and we can have a soda-pop toast to the men who had the courage to write and sign the document that began the Republic we are so blessed to live in.

 

Happy Independence Day.

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! VIRGINIA DEMOCRATS PROTEST "UNFAIR" "UNWISE" TAX!

Well slap my ass and call me Sally. Yesterday at the Alexandria DMV there was a rally of folks opposed to a new tax that took effect yesterday, and a Democrat state legislator attended to denounce the tax and support the protestors.  This was rather shocking, since the Democrat Party is usually just wild about taxing people.

 

Or maybe not so shocking. The tax is a $100 per year levy on the owners of electric and "hybrid" vehicles.  Plus, I'm given to understand that this levy is a Republican idea (that is shocking, and I am a bit disappointed); so naturally the Democrats want to pile all the blame on the Republicans in the Assembly.

 

The ASPs (American Statist Progressives) of the Democrat Party just adore electrics and hybrids. It's hard to figure out why when these cars, which are supposed to help ease the pollution of the planet, actually pollute quite a bit more during their manufacture and in their ultimate disposal (those batteries do wear out). 

 

The reason this tax was imposed was due to the fact that the drivers of these vehicles use the road like everyone else, but pay far less in fuel taxes at the pump.  And the price of these cars is heavily subsidized at some or another level, with the "all electric drive" Volt giving buyers a point-of-sale subsidy of thousands of dolllars to buy a car with a 40-mile range.

 

But. the owners of electrics and hybrids don't like this tax. The Democrat solution: Say they don't like it either and blame it on the Republicans (and never mind that the Virginia Senate is controlled by Democrats who didn't stop it).

 

This is the way the ASPs roll: When conservatives push through a measure that is unpopular, blame the Republicans. BUT when an unpopular measure is pushed through by the Democrat Party, THEN blame the REPUBLICANS for letting it get past them.

 

I for one wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that the Democrats purposely let this measure pass so that they could have a bunch of disgruntled car owners to pander to. Remember that this is the same crowd that keeps saying they will fund this or that by "eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse";(which is why they let waste. fraud and abuse exist - so they can promise to pay for some idiotic project by curbing it) and then in the end raise taxes on everyone anyway. 

 

To a lot of my readers, this will be "news". It's not, though.

 

It's just the same ol' same-o.

A REALLY BAD IDEA

Know what would be a really, really bad idea? Having the song from Disney's "Snow White". called "Some Day My Prince Will Come" played over the canned music in the waiting room of an erectile dysfunction clinic.

 

I hope that made you all snort. Next: Independence Day 2013.