Sunday, June 10, 2012

F. ALLEN NORMAN, JR. : 1953-2012

F. Allen Norman, Jr; editor of this periodical and independent write-in candidate for President of the United States; passed today at 3:30 AM Eastern Daylight time.

Prior to Mr. Norman's passing he sequestered himself and let it be known that he wished to do so privately so as to spare his friends and loved ones the discomfort and awkwardness of being present at the moment of his passing.

Immediately after the passing, a rush of water was heard, and Mr. Norman emerged from sequestration, advising friends and associates to venture outside before they lit any matches.

Mr. Norman expects to be writing another blog post soon. In the meantime donations can be sent to Roto-Rooter in lieu of flowers. As Mr. Norman has a bottle of Air-Wick in his loo, flowers are not necessary and in any case would likely wilt and die. This would indeed be tragic.

(Sorry, folks. But considering the title of this rag, this post was just dying to get written.)

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