ABSOLUTELY SHAMELESS!

No, I am not talking about today's Supreme Court pronouncements concerning so-called "gay marriage". It's gonna be awhile before I know enough about the nuances of the SCOTUS ruling, including the full texts of the concurrences and dissents, to be qualified to comment.

No, folks; the entity I am referring to is my own self as a "shameless self-promoter", and I do plead guilty. I have gained so many new readers to this blog that I deem it worthwhile to inform you new readers of my novels, on sale on Kindle e-books for a measly buck ninety-nine ($1.99) U.S..

 

I know that many of you are angered because of my pronouncements about "gay marriage" and think I am a gay-bashing bastard. But my novel "The Peterson Investigation" has as a major theme the parochial attitudes toward homosexuality in the Dayton, Ohio area circa 1995.  Read that, and I assure you you will come away understanding much better where I am coming from.

 

My other novel, "Georgetown in Plainclothes", is a sketch of the culture and counterculture in 1977 in the Washington Metropolitan era. I am proud to say that I have met three police officers who have read the novel and who have been impressed enough to ask for my autograph. 

 

All that needs be done to access both novels is to go to Amazon and enter my name - F. Allen Norman, Jr. - in the search box. I tried to post a direct link, but so far I have not been able to. 

 

Besides which, haven't I done enough work writing these works?

HERE WE GO WITH THIS "TRANSGENDERED" CRAP AGAIN

The Colorado State Civil Rights Division has just ruled that a male child who "identifies" as a female MUST be permitted to use the girls' restroom (we have mentioned this case earlier, and now the ruling has come down).

 

The parents of this kid are of a mind that there is nothing wrong with their little boy who thinks he's a girl (or is it their little girl who has a penis?)

 

The official position of the Alexandria Daily Poop is that persons born with male genitals are MALES. Persons born with female genitals are FEMALES. Persons who think that they are a member of the sex other than the one they possess the genitals of are NUTS.

 

Parents of pre-pubesceent boys who insist that their son, who they say "identifies" as a girl and who call him "her" and their "daughter" and who insist that society conform to their rank denial that something is quite possibly very wrong with their son, are at a minimum self-centered lazy souls who want to avoid dealing with the fact that there's a problem with their son.

 

Now this is only our personal opinion, but we believe that these two parents are using their confused little boy to break into the quite possibly lucrative career field of "professional public spectacle". 

 

This kid is not even old enough to know what his weenie is there for, except that he can - unlike a girl - "write his name in the snow" with it. This fascination with "girl stuff" might just be nothing more than a fascination with all things female. Hells bells, folks; we were fascinated by cooking when we were very young, and when we wanted a kitchen mixer for our birthday, our father went batshit. But we continued oir interest (and our parents continued to worry) but in the Boy Scouts we were an amazing camp cook, and we were and remain very much all male.

 

Just one thing here: When this little boy starts to undergo puberty and he begins to realize what that peter of his is for, and decides he wants to get romantically involved with girls, does that make him a lesbian with a dick?

 

And what would it make him if it turned out that - like a girl - his romantic and sexual tastes ran to boys, but he liked to be the "insertive partner"?  "Transgendered" seems a bit insufficient to describe a girl who likes to fuck boys in the ass with her dick.

 

Well, we don't know what others might say about this situation, but here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we call it a train wreck. Any sane person who has read what we have written here knows that we are spot-on right. This kid belongs in a foster home, and his parents belong in a lunatic asylum, along with the officials who ruled on the matter.

 

If a train goes off the rails, you don't remedy the situation by calling it a tractor-trailer.  If your son thinks he's a girl, well...

 

Good grief. Words are insufficient in a conversation that should not be necessary. 

THE PAULA DEEN AFFAIR

Having reviewed what information we could find concerning the firing of Georgia Southern cook Paula Deen from the Food Network for her admission under Oath in a Court of Law that she has in the distant past used the word "nigger" in reference to members of the black (or negro) race, The Alexandria Daily Poop now offers the following observations:

Ms. Deen did nothing in her use of the word in question that nearly every person of her generation has not done, and was arguably a great deal less malevolent in her application of the term than a good many others of her generation.

There have been statements made that Deen was planning a Southern-style "plantation" style feast and planned to hire members of the black race to portray slaves.  This has been presented as an "aggravating factor".  But this sort of thing has been occurring every day for decades in a very well known continuing re-enactment of 18th century life in Virginia called "Colonial Williamsburg"; and we fail to see how a professional cook and expert on those times, being very well known and being an advocate of the accurate transmission of history; is in any way more "racist" than the entitie(s) who run "Colonial Williamsburg".

 

(A personal aside: Some years ago we stopped into a restaurant on Maryland's Eastern Shore and were appalled when the waiter, a young black male, came up to our table and began a tap-dance - no, we are not making stuff up nor are we trying to be "funny" - and delivered a spiel that began with "Okay, folks, wot'll it be?" and said "mmm-MMM!" when he described the Maryland fried chicken. The WTF factor could have been measured in megatons. One of our table mates made a hasty excuse about having left her purse at the (non-existent) motel we had just (not) checked out of, and we left.)

 

In addition Deen is a staunch liberal and supporter of Current Resident of the White House Barack Hussein Obama.

 

It is our considered opinion that Ms. Deen should file a lawsuit for improper and unfair termination of contract against the Food Channel. Once she does that, her attorney should put the very person who made the decision to fire her under oath and then ask him or her if, when, how often, and in what context he or she had ever at any time uttered the word "nigger". 

 

The Alexandria Daily Poop is opening comments on this post. Comments will still be moderated, however opposing views will be tolerated so long as they are (1) on topic, (2) do not contain ad hominem attacks on any person and (3) contribute to the discussion. The final decision as to whether to publish any comment will rest with the Editor in Chief, and is not subject to appeal nor to review by any other person.  Anonymous comments will be considered, but your chances of seeing your comment in print here will be greatly enhanced if you use your full legal name.

A TALE OUT OF SCHOOL

Gentle readers, there are a couple of topics I wanted to comment on today. Famous Southern cook Paula Deen got fired from the Food Network yesterday, All of the information we have right now is that she was forced - under oath- to admit that she had in the past used what is now (and over-delicately) referred to as "the N-word". However here at the Alexandria Daily Poop we do not believe in tiptoeing around. Deen admitted under oath that she had used the word "nigger". 

 

Actually, if you put everyone who speaks even marginal English who had at some point in thier lives used that word on one end of a lever and everyone who speaks English who had never used that word on the other end, the lever would have to be ten thousand miles long and the fulcrum placed ten inches from the group who had used the "n-word" in order that the weight of those who had never used it to raise the first group half an inch. But before we comment any further, we want to read up as much as possible on this, because Paula Deen is a liberal dumbass (who can cook up a storm, we'll give her that) and there may be more to this than just some utterances decades ago. So other than what we have just written here, we will withhold comment.

 

Also, today being Saturday we have witnessed a lot of kids' programming, and there was an emphasis on handling "bullies". We have a lot to say about that, but not today. However we will encapsulate our advice to younguns who are dealing with bullies thusly: Kick the bully in the balls. That's the only language they understand. We will address the bully issue soon, we promise.

 

But today we were working on our next novel, and thought about some things contained in The Peterson Investigation, our first novel (available on Kindle for a buck ninety-nine).  The story is set in my hometown of Huber Heights, Ohio and although all people and events are fictional, there are flashbacks to incidents in the pasts of the characters that were taken directly from incidents that happened back in school when I was a student at Wayne High School. These were embellished a bit, of course; and were included so as to give a flavor of where the characters were coming from culturally. 

 

(I've dropped the editorial "we" to make the mood more intimate)

 

One incident based on a true story related to this real incident. I was in 9th grade English, and we as a class were taking turns reading aloud from a story about a bunch of teenagers making supper. I had just read a passage about a girl taking a noodle casserole out of the oven and dropping it. splattering it all over the floor.  Next up was Joe K.. (I bet somebody is reading this who was right there and knows what I am talking about).

 

Joe was one of those kids who read without any voice inflection to deliniate punctuation and diacritical marks.  For instance, instead of : "Mom brought home a puppy! We were so excited!" a kid like Joe would read: "Mom-brought-home-a-puppy-we-were-so-ex-it-ed" in a flat monotone. 

 

Well, folks, Joe wound up voicing the boy who saw the noodles splatter.  What ought to have come out of his mouth was: "Oh, my!' Tom ejaculated', ("Ejaculated" in context meaning "blurted out"), 'That's quite a mess!"

 

Instead, Joe read out: "Oh my. Tom ejaculated. That's quite a mess."  Twenty five kids plus the teacher convulsed with laughter as Joe turned as red as a stop-sign. 

 

True story, readers. Hand to God, I swear to you this actually happened. 

 

Hey, it's the weekend and a full moon. Serious shit can wait. 



THE REAL MOTIVATIONS BEHIND THE CONCERNS OF THE AMERICAN STATIST PROGRESSIVES

In my last post I made reference to the supposed concerns of the ASPs (American Statist Progressives - truly a nest of vipers) concerning "diversity". But by "diversity" they mean such diversity as will serve to advance their agenda.

 

In every other area about which they voice concern, there are also ulterior motives. Let's talk about this "diversity" crapola first.

 

By "Diverse", the ASPs mean "Heterosexual white Christians in the minority".  They certainly do NOT mean "diversity of opinion". ASPs are some of the most astrigently doctrinaire, dogmatic people to walk the earth; and if you disagree with them one little bit, then by their lights you are a no-good son of a bitch.  The ASPs would gladly gas every heterosexual white Christian male if they could; and then the planet would be sufficiently "diverse" for their liking.

 

ASPs are fond of saying that Christians display an "arrogant certitude" that their beliefs are absolute, irrefutable truths; and they say that such certitude is a bad thing. What they don't say is that they think this is a bad thing because they believe that it is their beliefs that are the ultimate irrefutable truth. And while Christians are tolerant of them (pains in the ass though they are); the ASPs are some of the most intolerant people on the planet should anyone question one jot or tittle of their manifesto.

 

ASPs claim to be "pro-choice".  But are they "pro-choice" when it comes to parents choosing where and how to educate their kids? Certainly not! By their lights, everyone's kids should be required to attend the Leftist indoctrination camps that they have turned the public schools into over the last half-century.

 

So are the ASPs "pro-choice" as to the personal decision as to whether to possess a firearm? Hell no. Disarming those who might resist has always been a priority of wannabe tyrants.

 

No, the only thing the ASPs are "pro-choice" on is the choice of a woman to have an abortion. (The choice of a woman NOT to have an abortion, not so much). 

 

ASPs lead the charge against "Big Tobacco", "Big Oil" and "Big Pharma(ceutical)".  In these matters they claim their motivation is protecting public health, protecting the environment, and making life-saving medications "affordable". 

 

But the ASPs' real motive in opposing these entities is that they make a lot of money. ASPs don't really give a damn if you get lung cancer and croak. They want to ruin the tobacco industry, except that they don't bitch about Cuban cigars (which aren't really all that great anymore, because Communism fucks up everything it touches) or Venezuelan oil, because it finances a Marxist government.

 

The ASP mantra - famously expressed by Current Resident of the White House Barack Hussein Obama to Joe the Plumber - is to "spread the wealth around".  Their goal is "equality". Equality not of opportunity, but of outcomes. This cannot be accomplished by "spreading the wealth" but rather the true agenda of the ASPs is to make everyone (except them, of course) equally miserable. As my late Uncle Tom was fond of saying, to hell with that noise.

FAMOUS FIRSTS (Reductio Ad Absurdem)

A few days ago I got a fare to what the guy said was "National Airport".  As always, I asked, "You mean Reagan?".  I did this because some people get confused by their schedules and think they are going to Reagan when they are actually going to Dulles or vice-versa.

 

 

But not this guy. This guy was the type of person who always says "National" because he's a leftie dim-bulb and cannot stand to say "Reagan" (and to tell the truth, I also use the procedure to divine whether I need to turn off Chris Plante and/or avoid talking to a liberal idiot).  In any case, he was quite miffed, and asked me if I called BWI "Marshall"

 

 

Well, actually I never have to ask, because everybody, and I do mean everybody always says "Baltimore" or "Baltimore-Washington International Airport"  When you are flying out of the next city to the north, you don't forget. It's a 90 dollar cab ride. But if I do reference the name, I call it "BWI Marshall".

 

The reason my passenger was miffed was that Reagan and Dulles were named after conservatives, and BWI-Marshall was named after Thurgood Marshall, who was not only a liberal but also The First Black Supreme Court Justice into the bargain.

 

Marshall's opinions and dissents were really no more remarkable than Samuel Alito's, but they are accorded great fanfare and respect because they were issued by The First Black Supreme Court Justice.

 

Although my ideological worldview clashes violently with that of the late Justice Marshall, I will be the first to say that his appointment and service on the high court was indeed noteworthy in light of the barriers it broke down. One thing I will say about Marshall is that his tenure helped make possible the appointment of the Honorable Mr. Justice Clarence Thomas. But I don't care if Marshall was a blond, blue eyed white Presbyterian from Bloomington, Indiana. He was still a scum-sucking liberal.

 

What is it with this insane adulation of people who were the "first" this-or-that to do thus-and-so?  "First" in that sense they may have indeed been; but that does not mean that every word they spoke must be engraved on the pedastal of a statue of the "First" who spoke it.

 

 

Look at some of the big "firsts" of the last 40 years or so. The First Deaf Miss America (and wasn't there "The First Miss America With A Colostomy Bag? I think that was just a joke, but maybe it happened. I wonder what the swimsuit competition looked like). And a Very Big Deal is made about the First Openly Gay Man to do any damn thing more consequential than opening a can of beans.

 

 

Ask any liberal and he or she will tell you that these "firsts" are "a celebration of the progress toward acceptance of diversity" or some such twaddle. That's right, I said "twaddle"; and I can back up that assertion and I will.

 

You see, these types are the same people who - correctly - state that "every person is unique".  But since "every person is unique", that means that society is neccessarily diverse to begin with.

 

Nobody on Earth has the same set of fingerprints and the same sequence of DNA as I do. There might be one or two other people with the exact same name as I have - like that damned sex-offender from Florida whose name pops up in a google check of my name and keeps holding up the instant Brady checks every time I buy a new gun - but none of them have my exact fingerprints, birth date, and DNA. Anytime I do anything for the first time in my life, I am ipso facto the first 1/8th Cherokee born in Indianapolis Indiana and raised in Dayton Ohio named F. Allen Norman, Jr. who did that particular thing. Why, the number of statues to be cast and the number of buildings to be erected in my honor would likely provide enough jobs to right the economy and get us out of these doldrums. So why isn't this being done? \

 

 

Well, because everyone would be engaged in making statues and constructing buildings; and no one would be left to pick up the garbage or grow the food. Especially considering the other mantra of the "celebrate diversity" crowd: that every person is like a snowflake, with no two alike. If everyone is unique, then everyone is the first something-or-other to do anything and everything from pooping in the potty to becoming President of the United States.

 

Everyone is unique, and there are upwards of six billion unique people on the planet, all unique as snowflakes. A blizzard of humanity, and like a blizzard this often results in a mess.

 

But if some individual is to be celebrated, by my sights it oughtn't to be about their achievement as the "first" to do anything less consequential than climbing Mount Everest. And even then, race sex and sexual orientation ought to be non-factors.

 

Let's say Danica Patrick won the Indy 500. She'd be the first woman to win, but she wouldn't have won because she had to overcome disadvantages directly caused by her sex; she would have won because she was a superior driver who also had better luck in staying out of accidents on the track and had a better pit crew backing her up. And she would also have beaten out not only the men, but several other women who were competing against her. In fact, it could be argued that the reason she didn't win in eight tries was at least patially due to her focus not on winning the race, but to be the first woman to do so. Personally, I think that this consideration put enough extra pressure on her that she made some bad decisions and lost when she shouldn't have.

 

Compare this with the homosexual basketballer who announced his homosexuality a few weeks ago. The guy was a midddling player at the end of his career. He might have faded into obscurity and opened a restaurant or a car dealership like lots of other has-beens do. He is widely hailed for his "courage".   By my lights, it would be courageous for some kid with his whole future in basketball hanging in the balance to "come out of the closet" when he announces this being chosen out of high school to go to a Top Ten college on a basketball scholarship. That would be a truly brave act. The person referenced here was getting ready to go to the glue factory himself, so he came out and ensured himself of a few more years of adulation.

 

On the other hand, the Wright Brothers were the first people (of any race or ethnic group, period) to design, construct, and sucessfully test an airplane capable of sustained and controlled flight. It doesn't matter a whit if either of them was straight, gay, or a goat-fucker. What they did was of great consequense to the entire human race. But if the Wrights had been black or homosexual incestual lovers; that, and not the invention of the first airplane, would be what they would be adulated for by the Left.

 

That, of course, is the whole point of this "everyone is special" leftist bullcrap. When everyone is special, no one is special; and then the Left gets to pick and choose which "specialness" they honor.  And it is nothing else but crap.

 

HE SAID THEY'D RESPECT US IN THE MORNING

When the Current Resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest first ran for the White House, he promised he would make America "respected again".  Yet today the Washington Post announced that presently we are held in disdain by other nations like never before.

 

And this isn't "Bush's fault" either. The dim view in which these United States are held by allies and foes alike is a direct result of the policies of the bumbling, megalomanaical fool whom the electorate voted into power in 2008 and whom last year and inexplicably re-elected.

 

No wonder the rest of the world thinks we are idiots. First, we elect an unknown obscure junior Senator to the most powerful office in on the planet. Then, after listening to him blame every failure of his administration on the previous adminitration, we give him another four years to screw things up.

 

The big issue he was elected on was the economy. Dithering and refusal to cut spending led to a confrontation that turned into a game of "chicken" which led to the current budget sequester. Obama has been caught red-handed deliberately trying to make this round of mandatory budget cuts as painful as possible - in order to blame the pain on the Republicans, of course - AND IN THE MIDDLE OF IT PLANS A VACATION THAT WOULD COST MORE THAN A TENTH OF A BILLION DOLLARS. 

 

Under the European parliamentary system that Obama seems to prefer over our Constitutional Republic, his government would have been removed about ten seconds after he announced his vacation plans. Marie Antoinette was arrested for less.

 

I have an idea. At the next TEA party rally, everybody bring a slice of cake, and stand in front of the White House holding up the slices of cake, chanting "Yes We Can Eat Cake!"

 

Really now. Obama wanted us to elect a shyster like him, and thought that we'd get respect from other nations because we have a bungling moron for a "leader"?

 

Yes, gentle readers, I realize this post is a bit rambling. But just a bit. I'm not paid to do this, and from time to time I am confronted with a situation where the breif amount of time I have to author a blog post is wholly insufficient. But really, where is all that newfound respect from other nations that this hustler promised us when he was pleading for our votes.

 

(He most assuredly did NOT get MINE, if indeed any of you had any doubts).