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Thursday, July 14, 2016

POKEMON GO AWAY QUICKLY, PLEASE

Sometimes - well, rather often, of late - we wonder if many of the grown-ass adults in this country have decided to regress to childhood because they cannot handle being adults. 

I thought I had seen the worst of it with those "adult coloring books". I'd understand if they were "adult" as in "erotic", but no, these are outlines of spiral shapes and flowers to be filled in using kids' crayons. 

And proudly hung on the refrigerator with magnets, where the proud "artist" can suck on a pacifier while he/she/it is praised by his/her/its "significant other". Ho-lee...

And remember back in the late 1990s how those metal kids' scooters were being marketed to adults? By God, anybody over the age of 12 looked absolutely ri-god-damned-fucking-DICULOUS riding one of those. 

Now comes "Pokemon Go", a "smart phone" application based on the 1990s children's card game "Pokemon". Basically the "app" directs users to locations where "Pokemon monsters" of various values are lurking, and users get points for capturing them. 

So now we are seeing in Washington, D.C. people - ADULT PEOPLE - walking around museums, surrounded by fascinating displays of major cultural, scientific, and artistic significance; and they are IGNORING the exhibits and instead staring at their "smart phones" trying to find a "Pokemon" before anyone else. What's worse, a bunch of "Pokemon hunters" was recently thrown out of the HOLOCAUST MUSEUM. THE HOLOCAUST MUSEUM, which is a memorial to the victims of a mass slaughter perpetrated by a mesmerized bunch of fanatics. 

I hate to predict this, but it's gonna happen. A carload of idiot Millennials is going to collide with a tour bus full of schoolkids and kill twenty people because the Millennials were intent on getting that Pokemon monster at Mount Vernon before another gang of idiots. 

Pokemon go take a walk East until your hat floats.

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