Tuesday, May 28, 2013

HOW TO GET RID OF THE IRS FOR GOOD (Satire, of course)

We were driving past the Bureau of Engraving and Printing (and printing and printing and printing world without end, Amen) last night, and we got to thinking about Obama's and Bernanke's infatuation with "quantitative easement" or, in plain words, paying off U.S. debt by just printing more money.
And it came to us that if they can just cover our tab by pumping out some more semoleons, then WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO LET THE INFERNAL REVENUERS STICK A GODDAMN FINGER UP OUR ASSHOLES EVERY APRIL??
Really, now. The 16th Amendment was passed to fund World War I, way before we adopted the Federal Reserve System. Back then, the dollar was backed by silver and gold. Nowadays the U.S. dollar just represents a share of the Gross National Product, which is the value of all the goods and services produced in these United States. 
What this means is that if the government simply printed more money to cover its expenses, the dollars we earn would be worth less, but we could keep every dime we earned and not have to dick around with forms and instructions and accountants and such every year. Instead of giving the government X dollars every year, we'd simply pay more for the stuff we buy.  This is kind of like the "Fair Tax" national sales tax, but without the expense of maintaining a huge complicated bureaucracy to administer it. 
Of course, this would require the people to keep a very close eye on the politicians in order to keep the money from going from "worth less" to simply and literally worthless. So no more crap like having the Senate take a tax bill that originated in the House, stripping out all the House language and filling it in with their own bright ideas about spending money. Repeal the 16th Amendment and replace it with an Amendment stating that all authorizations for printing more money, for spending any money, or funding any undertaking not only MUST originate in the House; but they MUST be a separate bill and that the Senate may NOT amend the authorization nor attach riders, etc.; but rather must give the House measure a straight up-or-down simple majority vote within a reasonable time frame (and spell it out, because you cannot trust a politician to decide what is "reasonable").
An additional safeguard against the fatal cheapening of the currency would be the boom in business and the growth of the economy and the ensuing wealth that would result from entrepeneuers operating free from the need to keep all those damned records and withhold all those damn taxes. The CPAs and IRS employees who would find themselves out of work could - now unimpeded by federal interference - found new enterprises and become something useful instead of the pain in the ass they are today. 
The beauty of this scheme is that people could and probably would demand that the government knock off all the damn spending once they realize that the higher prices they are paying are a direct result of the government printing all that money to cover all that spending. That, and no more IRS agents holding up things or hauling people in for audits motivated by political ideology.
We started writing this as satire, but you know, it could very well work except for one damn thing.
And that is that it would curb the sway the politicians in Washington hold over We the People. Congressional representatives would return to their home districts and get an earful worse than they got while Obamacare was being debated, and every one of their constituents would be on their ass the way they need to be. And there are a lot of people in the Congress who will let that happen over their dead bodies.
Why don't one of you talk show guys present this idea on your show? It would be fun if the dolts in the lamestream media viewed it as a serious threat and tried to drown it in blather.
No taxes of any kind for anything, just print the money needed. Hell, they do it anyway. Call our idea "Make It, Don't Take It".
Could work, who knows?

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