THE LATEST TINFOIL HAT CONSPIRACY THEORY

I have a neighbor who is completely nuts. He's nice enough when he's sober or just a tad buzzed, but get him a skinful of hooch and wow.

He's the sort who sees "government spies" everywhere. I've never heard him mention UFOs, space aliens or that sort of thing, but he is certain "the government" is trying to get real nosy.  And since he knows that I agree that the government is getting too damn nosy, he often unloads his paranoias on me. His latest paranoia is directed at those damn ridiculous corkscrew lightbulbs. He is convinced that they are transmitting morse code to the government because he saw the one on the outside stairwell flicker. 

 

He and a bunch of his musician buddies have come up with the idea that "the government" mandated the use of these bulbs to spy on the citizenry. According to my neighbor, the flickering light bulbs gather information from, say, the camera on this here laptop and transmit it to the government in Morse code.

 

Now, what he says has a nugget of truth to it. Our electricity is monitored via "smart meters" that can tell anyone with the right monitoring device just how much electric current you use and during what hours. That indeed has a frightening potential for abuse.  Just the turning on and off of lights can be detected, indicating when you get home and when you go to bed. Not only that, but if somebody decides you are using too much power, the juice can be shut off remotely.

 

But as far as the corkscrew lightbulbs are concerned, they are pretty much a "jobs program" for China where (along with much of the other stuff used to promote the "green" agenda that will lead to U.S. "green" jobs in a "green" economy) they are made cheapo by slave labor. Buy a bulb for your patio, buy an AK47 for the People's Liberation Army. Replace every bulb in City Hall, buy them a bomber. Great idea (if you're Chinese).  As I tried to tell my nutty neighbor, the things flicker because they run on AC current. Try talking to a nutbar who's been drinking, however, and...

 

BUT, just in case there's something to what my nutty neighbor thinks, I am going to leave this thing on when I undress for the shower tonight. That way maybe Obama will get a chance to see the ass he can kiss as far as I am concerned. Vote Republican. :P