WHAT EXACTLY IS "CONSERVATIVE NATIONALISM"?

When I describe myself as a "rabid conservative Nationalist", lots of people interpret the term in lots of different ways.

 

I'll address the "rabid" part later. For now, let's talk abot the "conservative" part.

 

 

"To conserve" means to keep and steward with an eye toward preservation. There are "fiscal conservatives"  and "social conservatives".  Both terms are bullshit, yet both have roots in the true meaning of conservatism overall. True conservatism is the stewardship of the preservation of the sovereignty of the individual Citizen.  The Bill of Rights enumerates certain rights that the powers that be must not fuck with.

 

 

The natural enemy of the "conservative" is the "progressive". Basically, whilst the conservative sees the Constitution as being a rudimentary set of rules, written in plain English; "Progressives" see it as what it pleases them to call a "living, breathing" set of general principles.

 

This "living, breathing" crap is straight out of Alice in Wonderland. "When I say a word, it means exactly what I want it to mean".

 

So do "progressives" see the Constitution as Holy and Sacred when it suits their agenda, and outdated and irrelevant when it does not.

 

A few years ago - back when a Citizen could just walk into the Capitol and more or less have free run of the place - you could just walk in and pester your Senator or Congressman (as is your right). Now you need an appointment,or else have to be lead around

by the nose on a guided tour. That's the way Communist regimes handle tourists.

 

Now the justification for all this flows from the terrorist attacks of 2001, and a lone nut who shot his way past the metal detectors some years ago. But in 1958, a bunch of Puerto Rican "nationalists" shot up the Senate floor from the gallery. And for more than fifty years thereafter, the Capitol remained open and freely accessible. But now, these politicians so fear the public that they restrict access severely.

 

(Meanwhile here in Virginia, citizens who have a readily obtainable State concealed weapons permit can roam the buildings and State Capitol grounds at will).

 

"Conservatism" means believing that the Constitution means exactly what it says. Don't like the Second Amendment? Well then, there are procedures outlined to repeal it. And much good to you. You might be a  "social" or a "fiscal" conservative.But if you don't believe what I've written here; if you are trying to twist the Constitution to your own personal custom desires; then in my opinion you are just a "left wing" or "right wing" "Progressive", and fuck you very much for your (dubious) contribution to our political debate.

 

Now on to Nationalism.

 

Nationalism has been tarred and feathered - mostly from the Left - as being "Facsist". Odd that, since the very founder of facsism Benito Mussolini self identified as a Leftie. Hitler's Germany was called a "National Socialist state".  But look at how Nazi Germany was run. Take away the Gestapo and the death camps, and you have Sweden.

 

Granted there are several definitions of "Nationalism".  The defnition we here at the Allexandria Daily Poop espouse is the belief that our Nation is unique and that we should do NOTHING that is not in furtherance of our National interests.

 

As to "rabid", we are indeed passionate in our beliefs. We here at the Alexandria Daily Poop hope you get the message.

JOHN KERRY, IDIOT

My last post here was a continuation of my plea for support from my readers. And believe me, my situation is quite dire.

But folks, the whole point of this blog is to try to avoid the even more dire consequence of having this ENTIRE NATION being taken over by a pack of idiots. Yet our current Secretary of State, John "Ketchup" Kerry, is a spectacular blazing screaming idiot of the first water.

 

What a time to send a moron like Kerry on a diplomatic mission. (Not to mention, what a time to engage in diplomacy). North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un is absolutely nuts. His latest statement is that nuclear war is "inevitable". HOLY FUCK!! Now, I know and you know that if Kim makes an overt move toward that end, he will quite literally be "toast". The threat and the danger lies in the fact that Kim doesn't quite seem to grasp this fact.

 

And so what does Ketchup Kerry say about North Korea's nukes? Well, the goddamn idiot first says that "North Korea will not be accepted as a nuclear power". But almost in the same breath he acknowledges that North Korea possesses "a number of devices".

 

Hmm. WHAT THE FUCK? That's like saying you won't accept your neighbor's dog as a male but admitting that he has a set of balls and a dick.

 

This is an EXTREMELY dangerous situation. Today Kim said he was planning to attack Japan with his nukes, and credible evidence shows that Kim has managed to reduce his (puny) nuke warheads to a size suitable for ICBM cargo.

 

Do you think that if Kim hit Honshu with a six-kiloton nuke that it would just be a shocking announcement on the news?

 

Back at the beginning of the second decade of the last century, a young nutbar named Gavrilo Prinzip fired three shots from a pistol and set Europe on fire. And here we are at the beginning of the second decade of this century, with a young nutbar who has much more than a pistol, and who may just manage to set the PLANET on fire (and possibly with nothing more than his stupid fat mouth).

 

And who do we send to deal with the situation? John Kerry, who is a clueless moron. Who would send a moron to reason with a psychopath?

 

Well, Barack Obama, it would seem. Thanks a big, stinking, orangey pantload for staying home on election day, you Ron Paulistas.

MOPERY

Gentle readers, there is a sort of joke among police, criminals, and lawyers. It's a spoof of "common law", and it is the crime of "mopery" (Probably where the word "mope" comes from. read on...)

 

 

The offense consists of a blind man spying on a naked woman in the dark.

 

 

I know. "Oh, posh" you're thinking. How preposterous.

 

 

Hold on.

 

 

It really isn't that silly. After all, aren't we trying to make sure everyone is treated equally? If a normally sighted person were peeping at M'lady in total darkness, he would see exactly what the blind man sees: PITCH DARKNESS. So, in the daytime only a sighted person could be charged with "Voyuerism". But in the dark, the blind and the sighted see the same thing.

 

There are hundreds of finely graded and shaded ironies in this one joke. Imagine if Mopery was a statutory offense. Imagine the trial of the blind man, with prosecutors and defense lawyers arguing it all the way up to the Supreme Court.

 

Now, if confronted with a case of mopery, the only reasonable opinion from SCOTUS would of course be (Chief Justice Roberts, writing for the unanimous Court):

 

"We hold that the premise of charging a blind man with a crime solely because he is able to see as well as anyone else when there is no light to be completely ri-god-damn-fucking-DICULOUS.'

 

'We further find that the statutory definition of "mopery" to be frivolous, and therefore find that the State's  arrest, prosecution, and conviction of the plaintiff to be null and void. We reverse the conviction of the plaintiff. Further, and so say we all, we urge the plaintiff to pursue civil action to the extent that he can; if only to give persons in the several State legislators reason to think before they enact idiotic legislation."

 

 

Of course, that's NOT what would come out of SCOTUS. There would be nine different opinions, with all knds of whacky twaddle in each one. The only person on the Supreme Court whom I would trust to write something like the honest opinion I have posited above is Justice Antonin Scalia.

 

And given the upholding of the BLATANTLY un-Constitutional Obamacare, I honestly don't know if the blind man would have to actually go to prison for looking at a naked woman in a dark room. If the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare - and they did - then why wouldn't they uphold a conviction for mopery? Hmm?

A GREAT IDEA FOR DEALING WITH NORTH KOREA

Here at the Alexandria Daily Poop, we do try to give credit where credit is due. Even if it goes to some leftie.

 

 

We were peusing the latest HuffPost article about North Korea's current tantrum when we ran across a comment from some or another person who said that the regime could easily be overthrown by dropping - not bombs - but crates filled with meatball subs marked "from your friends in America".  The commentor said that this could be done "at a fraction of the cost of war". 

 

 

Actually this is not a bad idea. It's a great idea, in fact. The North Korean regime tells the people - when they dare ask why the food rations are light - that (get this bullshit) "The Americans sank the rice ship".  No kidding, that's what the Commie thugs tell their starving people. America is to North Korea's dicatorship what George Bush is to Barack Obama.

 

Now, the only thing we are worried about in this plan is that Kim Jong-Un's propaganda machine will probably try and warn the people not to go near the subs because "the Americans have poisoned them" or something. Yeah, right. Just try getting between a starving man and a meatball sub. Just try.

 

Last we checked, a meatball sub at Subway goes for about ten bucks for a footlong. There are about 25 million people in North Korea, so a quarter-billion dollars could give them what most of them would consider the happiest day of their lives. Of course we'd need to design special packaging, something that could be dropped from a bomber and be designed so that a parachute would slow it down so that nobody got hurt. And we'd need to know where to drop the stuff so we'd be feeding the commoners and not Kim's pudgy ass.

 

 

All in all, though, not a bad plan. I say let's do it.

THE BEST AND WORST COMMERCIALS CURRENTLY RUNNING ON AMERICAN TELEVISION

There are two commercials presently being run on American TV. (Okay, there are hundreds of them, but these particular two are the best and the worst).

 

 

First, the best. That would be the Cheerios commercial which at the end features a closeup of a really cute infant in a high chair grubbing at a pile of Cheerios and stuffing them in his (her?) mouth and babbling "Num, num, num". 

 

 

How very precious. It didn't make me want me to rush out and buy a box of Cheerios, but awwwww....

 

It's a heck of a lot better than the Cheerios commercial I saw as a little boy. In that one, "Cheerios Sue" was in a castle tower being besieged by a freaking dragon. And a damn scary dragon it was, too.  And even though the "Cheerios Kid" defeated the dragon (after, of course, wolfing down a bowl of Cheerios), that damn commercial gave me some of the worst childhood nightmares I'll never forget.

 

So, General Mills, you are hearby awarded the Alexandria Daily Poop's 2013 award for "Best Commercial on Broadcast Television".

 

 Having accentuated the positive, we shall now attempt to eliminate the negative by asking our gentle readers to write AAMCO and tell them to pull this damn ad from the airwaves.

 

This disgusting travesty is the one where the voiceover admonishes the viewer that "You wouldn't trust just anybody to sit in your cubicle" as the video shows a man licking a computer keyboard only to be confronted by a shocked female co-worker.

 

The camera cuts to a scene of an apprehensive elderly woman being embraced by a bare-chested hairy ape as the announcer intones: "Or hug your mother".

 

The next scene is of a guy laying on a massage table as a Mexican wrestler perches on a bookshelf. As the announcer says: "Or be your massage therapist", the Mexican wrestler crouches, gives off a high-pitched scream, and launches himself off the bookshelf at the table.

 

That commercial is so bad that I fumble for the remote and change the channel every time it comes on. I have even gone so far as to unplug the TV when that option is handier than trying to find out where the remote has gotten off to.

 

Gentle readers, I ask you to write or Email General Mills and tell them that you love their ad. After all, in these crazy times it is precious, is it not?

 

 

And do the same for AAMCO. Except in that case tell them to get that damn ad off the air.

 

I mean, what would you rather see? A keyboard-licking pervert or a happy baby?

 

In our opinion, no contest.

SCREEN RIGHTS FOR "THE PETERSON INVESTIGATION" AND "GEORGETOWN IN PLAINCLOTHES" FOR SALE!

That's right, folks. I'm offering the TV and movie rights for my two novels for sale. The buyer may do as he likes with "Georgetown in Plainclothes" but there are a few conditions with "The Peterson Investigation".

 

 

First, "The Peterson Investigation" MUST be shot on location in the Miami Valley in Ohio. All ancilliary services such as catering and limousines MUST be provided by businesses based in the Cities of Dayton, Ohio and Huber Heights, Ohio. This is non-negotiable.

 

 

Second, insofar as possible all casting must be done using people living in the Greater Dayton Area. Particularly Amy Jane Adams and her sons Jason and Alex MUST be Miami Valley residents. I wouldn't object if you got Matthew Gray-Gubler to play Detective Ronnie Baird, for instance. In fact that's who I had in mind when I wrote the character. And if Justin Beiber were to play the role of Larry McMasters, I'd be delighted. He'd be perfect, IMHO. But the likes of Manny Radosevic, Gary Cohen, the Vandalia cops, the BCI agents and other minor players MUST be current residents of the Miami Valley.

 

Third, I MUST be hired as a consultant, and my travel, lodgings, and meal and other expenses MUST be paid for IN ADDITION TO THE SALE PRICE OF THESE MOVIE RIGHTS.

 

In addition, the sale price does NOT include the cost of the lawyer I will need to hire to ensure that I am not left with a pittance while the buyer of these rights makes a gazilion dollars. That cost will of course be assumed by the buyer.

 

I would suggest that the screen adaptation would lead off with the 1969 drag race on Rip Rap Road that started the action. Somebody recorded a song called "The Ballad of Rip Rap Road" about the drag races that would occur there. I suggest that as the opening theme.

 

 

The price for these rights is as follows:

 

 

For the rights to "The Peterson Investigation": One hundred fifty thousand dollars.

 

 

For the rights to "Georgetown in Plainclothes", Two Hundred Thousand Dollars.

 

 

For the rights to both works, Two Hundred Fifty Thousand Dollars.

 

 

Contact me in "comments" and provide a telephone number or an e-mail address so I can check your bona fides.

 

This is a serious offer. Contact me if interested.

THIS IS LEADERSHIP? NORTH KOREA THREATENS NUKE ATTACK, OBAMA LIES ABOUT FIREARMS

Nutty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has declared that a "state of war" exists between North and South Korea. Well, that's not news, because the Korean War never did end.The fighting was ended with an armistice (truce), but there have been skirmishes from time to time. So everybody pretty much yawned.

 

 

We guess Kim got a little ticked at that, so he upped the stakes by saying that he has authorized his military to attack the United States with nuclear weapons. Man, that dude is super-deluxe nutso.

 

It's doubtful that Kim has missiles that could hit even the West Coast, although Hawaii and Guam may have some little bit to worry about. However, it's doubtful that North Korea is able to produce a missile warhead... yet.

 

On the other hand, they MIGHT be able to send a submarine armed with a nuke on a suicide mission into Pearl Harbor. So here we have a nuclear armed madman threatening a nuclear attack. So what does the Current Resident of 1600 Pensylvania Avenue, Northwest do?

 

He sends Secretary of State John Kerry our to wag his finger and call Kim's pronouncements "unacceptable" (Our military has also posted Aegis guided missile cruisers where they can shoot a North Korean missile right out of the sky).

 

Obama, on the other hand was in Colorado, delivering a lie-filled speech aimed at ginning up support for abrogationg the Second Amendment. What a juxtaposition: Faced with an enemy threatening the American People, Obama concentrates on convincing them to lay down their weapons.

 

One absolutely bald-faced lie Obama said was that the so-called "gun show loophole" should be "closed" because it "results in up to 40% of all firearms sales" to be conducted without a background check. That is UTTER BALONEY and Obama knows it.

 

Obama cited polls to show the "support of the American people" for his anti-gun agenda. These polls contain loaded questions such as "do you favor promoting the right to have a gun OR do you think it's more important to deal with the issue of gun violence?".  Lies based on push-polls, told with grieving relatives of shooting victims used like props for a backdrop; lies crafted to get people to think with their emotions instead of their intellect. And this he does with the Korean Peninsula set to explode. This he does with the situation in Iran and the Middle East bubbling away, this he does as he DELIBERATELY tries to make the budget sequester as painful as possible, this he does when we have all this other trouble.

 

Note all this well. And remember it in November of next year when it's time to vote in the mid-terms. In fact, remember it now. Because the campaign is now. Pay attention.

 

 

Side item: I wasn't kidding about needing your help, friends. Thanks.