FLOYD A. NORMAN, SR.: 1925-2008; HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

Today is Father's Day, and if you are a father I hope you are proud of your kids and that they in turn are proud of you. 

If you are a son or a daughter of a decent and loving father, I hope that he is alive and in good health so he can appreciate the honor of the day. 

My own father left this life in March of 2008.

Lots of kids think of their father as an "old stick in the mud", especially when they are in their teens. But I can assure all you younger types that in the years to come (as Mark Twain famously observed) the old man will smarten up considerably.

Of course, what Twain meant was that the day will come when you observe a clutch of youngsters behaving like youngsters and mutter "stupid kids". And in that moment you will suddenly realize that you have begun to become your dad. You might not believe this. But take my word for it, you will.

The arc of my father's life began in the "roaring twenties" and when he was a young boy he helped his dad and his uncle smuggle Prohibition hooch in Indiana. Most of his childhood was spent in the Great Depression, and he would probably laugh to scorn the folks who are comparing our present state to that dire era.

He was the son of the (lore has it) illegitimate son of a 16 year old Cherokee woman, and our family name was taken from the settlement of Norman, Oklahoma. Being of modest means and the son of a "half-breed" put him at a distinct disadvantage.

But he did what was required of him to help his family; and he kept his sights set high.

When World War II broke out, he enlisted in the Army Air Corps, where he was assigned the job of manning the dorsal turret of a B-24 Liberator bomber operating out of Libya. When we kids asked him how many enemy planes he shot down, he dismissed the question by saying he didn't know that he downed any because "everybody else was shooting at them, too".

But once I had learned to use a firearm, I became aware that he must have known when he succeeded in downing an airplane. And I came to realize that he knew that what he was doing probably resulted in another young man, with people back home who loved him as much as his family in Indiana loved my dad; would not be seeing them again, nor they him.

And he knew what deadly cargo he was guarding. And he knew that even though the targets were military in nature, still women and children on the ground were going to die or suffer as a result of the release of the bombs he was helping to shepherd to the target.

And although Dad knew that what he was doing was necessary to prevent the world from being taken over by far worse, that he was ensuring that future generations would live in freedom, still it bothered him tremendously that any way he sliced it, he had blood on his hands.

He had done what had to be done. He was morally in the right. And yet to the day he died there was a hot little pinprick of regret that any of it had been necessary. He had been courageous, he had been heroic. But he was not proud of it.

True heroes seldom are.

I first saw my father as a hero the day I as a little boy living on South Webster Street in Indianapolis decided I was old enough to cross the street and do some exploring. I found a length of rope and - as any six-year-old would be - was excited by the possibilities of fun to be had. So I picked it up and began to trot home to experiment with tying knots, etc.

Unfortunately, the rope was what the man around the corner used to start his lawnmower with, and when he saw me walking off with it, he shouted at me to bring it back. Of course, this scared the hell out of me and I ran for home with the neighbor in hot pursuit.

It became apparent to me that I would not reach the safety of our front door before I was captured by what I percieved was a raving maniac. So I dove into the bushes and crouched in a casement, and the neighbor started clawing his way toward me, cursing.

Just as I thought he would reach me and pull me out and do God-knew-what, I heard the front door bang open. My dad stood there, and although I later towered above him on that day he appeared as a giant.

To the best of my recollection, the converation started with Dad saying "Hey, asshole, what the fuck are you doing with my boy?" It was not said gently, either. The neighbor was given the option of backing off or being killed with Dad's bare hands. He wisely chose the latter, and I was instructed to give the man his rope, and he was instructed in no uncertain terms to come to my Dad if there was a problem with me. 

Dad was a cash register repairman working for the National Cash Register Company from the time of my earliest memory. But as I said, he set his sights high. He worked during the day and nights and even weekends he took college and tech classes on the G.I. Bill and became an electronic engineer. He was promoted and we moved to NCR world headquarters in Dayton, Ohio.

One of Dad's last achievements - and like his others, he never bragged about it, I only learned of this at his funeral - was the design of an ATM to be placed on board Navy warships. The requirements were so daunting that almost no one thought it could be done. But Dad did it.

It's funny how you think that, knowing the time is coming, you will be able to handle the loss of your father. You steel yoursellf to deliver the eulogy and think you can handle it with aplomb, how you think you can keep the tears and other outward expressions of grief - real, burning, grief - for a private moment.

But then you convulse and choke back a sob, and then you have to pause to regain a bit of composure. When this happened to me, I looked out at the guests, and so many of them were weeping with me. And I realized that I was not alone in my loss nor my grief; and that I had truly been raised and influenced by the greatest man that most of the world had never heard of. To this day I think my most valuable inheritance was not the material things of the will, but the things I was taught; and mostly when I have failed it has b een because I had gone astray from these things.

If your father has passed on to the next life, God speed him and God bless you and comfort you in the loss that is ever-present. And in the moments - and they come, do they not? - when you wish you could have one more talk with the "old man"; when yu want to get his advice; then think back on the days when he was with you, and it will come to you, I promise.

And if your father is still with you, treasure these days and honor him. And if you have a difference with him, then know that the day is coming when you will wish you could have even that contentious conversation again. Then change your tone and tell him you love him. If you don't, I promise you you will wish you had when you give his eulogy.

Happy Father's Day to every father, son, daughter, and wife. God Bless You All.

OBAMA CRACKS UP

IT IS TIME TO PAY ATTENTION. Therefore, I hereby announce that I am ending my write-in campaign for President. I am doing this because the man I chose for my Vice-President, current "president" Barack Hussein Obama, is such a nincompoop that he must be voted completely out of Federal office.

Honestly, folks. The last speech he gave was just pathetic. The same old "blame Bush" bullcrap about "cleaning up the mess". What is he, Janitor in Chief? He hasn't been cleaning up any mess, he's been compounding it. And Bush is just one of his many lame excuses.

He made a big deal of the "headwinds coming out of Europe", a reference to the troubles in the Euro zone.  COME ON! Remember 1997, when the "Asian Tigers" of Japan, Taiwan, and Singapore had a financial meltdown? Sovereign bonds were reduced to junk status, and governments fell. And the United States prospered. Remember how gasoline briefly fell to under a dollar a gallon for the first time in almost twenty years?  A competent (and Nationalist) President would know how to work the woes of Europe to the advantage of these United States. The "European Economic Community" and the Euro were, after all, touted as competition to the United States and the Dollar.

Yes, a competent President would know how to strike bargains in return for helping the beleagured peoples of Europe out of their situation; bargains which would provide maximum advantage for the United States. But we don't have a President.

We have an incompetent nincompoop (and this would be redundant if we were not talking about Obama. The expression is sort of like "stupid idiot") of a "president" who believes the solution is for us in the USA to share the suffering with our "brothers" in the rest of the world.  This has always been the view of the Statist left, that "equality" means the equality of abject misery among the hoi-polloi; while the elite leaders fly miles above it sipping champagne and having their every need catered to while they discuss how to equalize the misery of all the peasants below.

Obama and the Demonrat Left hear the death-bell of their regime ringing, and they are becoming desparate. Attorney General Eric Holder (whose rear end Congress is ravaging over his attempt to quash the Second Amendment via the "Fast and Furious" gun giveaway) is suing Florida because Florida is trying to eliminate vote fraud.

And today Obama violated his Oath of Office by stating that he would order the Federal government to cease deporting illegal aliens and instead give them work permits.  Rush Limbaugh called this "Catch, Release, and Vote".

"Hope and Change" was a brilliant political slogan. It invited anyone and everyone to fill in the blank as to what their own private hope was and whatever change they had in mind. The trouble is - as Obama and his leftist pals are finding out - that these hopes and wishes, spread out over millions of voters, are contradictory.

Obama and the Democrat Party are in a position analogious to that of Max Bialystock in "The Producers"; where Bialystock sold a couple dozen rich old ladies fifty percent shares of a play, intending to pocket the money and produce a bomb. The analogy cracks up, though, because the "old ladies" who bought shares of Obama are also cast members of the play he wants to bankrupt.

Paychecks are due in November.

I AM NOT DEAD, PEOPLE.

IT SEEMS AS THOUGH MY LAST SATIRICAL POST HAS HAD A FEW UNINTENDED CONSEQUENSES.  NOW HEAR THIS: I AM NOT DECEASED, at least as of this writing.

However, yesterday a female acquaintance ran into me outside a convenience store, screamed, and fainted. We had not seen one another in a few years, and just by coincidence she had on Monday used a name-search program to see what I might be doing. The first item she ran into was the phony "death notice", but the search results only showed the first paragraph stating I had "passed". She had assumed I was dead, and had told several others. So when she saw me, she thought she was seeing a freaking ghost.

I am happy to report that I was not seriously injured as my lady-friend slammed me with her purse as she simultaneously giggled and wept. Emotional overload, I suppose; but I must say that it was easily avoidable. Repeat after me: IF YOU SEE SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET, VERIFY IT BEFORE ACCEPTING IT AS THE TRUTH.  A simple click on the link and a read of the entire post - scroll down, it's immediately before this one - would have revealed it as the lame joke it was meant to be.

This is not the first time this has happened to me, albeit it is the first time it has been done by my own hand.  Eight months ago I found out that when you google my full legal name, the first thing that pops up is the profile of a registered Florida sex offender. This asshole has my EXACT full name to the letter, and if you check the profile you can damn well SEE that he doesn't look a damn thing like me. This probably explains why it takes three to ten hours for the Brady Check to clear me whenever I buy a new firearm.

F. ALLEN NORMAN, JR. : 1953-2012

F. Allen Norman, Jr; editor of this periodical and independent write-in candidate for President of the United States; passed today at 3:30 AM Eastern Daylight time.

Prior to Mr. Norman's passing he sequestered himself and let it be known that he wished to do so privately so as to spare his friends and loved ones the discomfort and awkwardness of being present at the moment of his passing.

Immediately after the passing, a rush of water was heard, and Mr. Norman emerged from sequestration, advising friends and associates to venture outside before they lit any matches.

Mr. Norman expects to be writing another blog post soon. In the meantime donations can be sent to Roto-Rooter in lieu of flowers. As Mr. Norman has a bottle of Air-Wick in his loo, flowers are not necessary and in any case would likely wilt and die. This would indeed be tragic.

(Sorry, folks. But considering the title of this rag, this post was just dying to get written.)

THE PEOPLE OF WISCONSIN HAVE SPOKEN

And they have given a resounding "FUCK YOU!' to the thuggish and corrupt tactics of the Democrat party. The Democrat legislators who fled the state rather than do their jobs, the Democrat mobs who trashed the State Capitol, the union thugs who were bused in to intimidate voters, all of it failed miserably yesterday.

Even the "dead man voting" tactic, a routine Democrat ruse (Madison had a 109% voter turnout!) was not enough to negate the will of the people of Wisconsin.

Predictably, the Democrats and their shills in the media are suddenly yawning about the impact of this failed recall; even though one could easily tell over the last few weeks that they were gleefully anticipating crowing about how what they were sure would be Walker's ouster would show that people are rejecting conservatism.

Instead the Democrats got their asses handed to them, so now the "spin" is that it was due to "outside money" (as if there wasn't a sshort ton of Democrat "outside money" involved on their side). Some of the more unbalanced commentators have trotted out the lame old crap about "the Koch brothers", and individual internet commentators have even started the predictable conspiracy/Rothschild/Trilateral Commission/Bilderberg lunacy.

A bit of undoubtably selective "exit polling" showed that "most voters" planned to vote for Obama in November.

Yeah, right. Dream on, Demonrats. Dream on.

NORMAN / OBAMA 2012 CAMPAIGN UPDATE

Since our last message regarding our campaign for President of the United States, we seem to have picked up a fourth reader. So we just want to recap:

I am running as a write in candidate for the Presidency. My candidacy is aimed aat those who know that voting Obama in for another four years would be to invite irreparable damage to the Republic, but who nevertheless cannot bear to appear "racist" for voting Obama out of D.C..  This problem I have solved by advising you all to write in Obama's name with mine in your write-in votes as your choice for vice-President.

As I have said, I have promised to run this campaign solely out of this blog, and I will accept NO donations from ANYONE. This has already had a salutory effect on the economy, as monies that might otherwise be donated to me have instead been spent on those things that might just turn things around.

Now, as far as what I will do when elected:

FOREIGN POLICY

I will immediately inform the world that an attack on the Nation of Israel will be considered an attack on the United States, and will be responded to with an overwhelming and disproportionate response. The use of nuclear weapons is by no means unthinkable.

I will make it clear to our friends that they are protected and to our enemies that they need to back down before we blow them into the Stone Age.

As in any other decision I make, the interests of the United States of America will be the beginning and end of any considerations.

DOMESTIC POLICY

I will present a plan, outlined elsewhere on this blog, to phase out Social Security and other "entitlement spending". (Government pensions, Federal worker's compensation, and Veterans' benefits being part of the contract our federal employees and military personnel signed onto, these will not be touched.) I will aim to accomplish this in such manner as to ensure that persons currently depending upon or about to become dependent on these programs recieve their full benefits, with the option of recieving a lump-sum payment in lieu of benefits being dispensed over time.

Since about 40% of Federal spending is done with borrowed money, I will order all cabinet members (except defense) to cut their budgets by 2/5ths. If they do not do this, I will fire them and find people who can.

I will do whatever is necessary and proper to oversee the present tax code's replacement with one that every American engaged in productive work can understand, and further ensure that there is one rate for everyone. The first $60,000 of income will be tax-exempt; and everything over that will be taxed at a rate of 15%. Corporate taxes will similarly be simplified. And no longer will the Federal government be able to shove people into the behavior the government wants by overtaxing those who do not comply.  Federal sales taxes will be imposed on some items, and the whole gist of my tax policy (and regulatory policy) will be to get the Federal government out of the way of those who want to create wealth.

My aim will be to have a tax code that enables Dad to work and Mom to stay home and raise the kids, instead of having both parents needing to work to pay the tax burden. The more families that have a situation like that, the better off our Republic will be.

Any person found to be in this country illegally will be deported forthwith, except that those accused of crimes will be deported after they have completed the sentences for their crimes. The sole consideration for deportation will be the immigration status of the deportee. And if such deportee has children who were born in the United States, then if the children are minors the parents may place them for adoption with natural-born citizens. Otherwise the "anchor babies" will not be considered United States Citizens.

I will require every new law passed by Congress to be accompanied by a statement citing the part of the Constitution authorizing it. And if in my opinion this requirement has not been met, or if I object in any manner to the bill; even if it has passed a veto-proof majority in both Houses I will veto it and send it back, and even if the veto is overridden it will be plain that the Congress is shoving the bill down the throats of the public.

I will order the re-opening of Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest and E Street, Northwest between 15th and 17th streets. I will urge Congress  to do the same on Capitol Hill. After all, if we are doing our jobs right, then the People are our defense and not our enemies.

This is just a partial list.  I'd be more extensive, but I have to work for a living. Oh, speaking of that, I won't be going on "vacation" every other week, either. Vice President Obama can take that chore. Other than apologizing to our enemies, the thing Barack does best is vacation like there's no tomorrow.

  

 

MEMORIAL DAY 2012

Today is Monday, May 28th, 2012. The events of the weekend are finished. The Indianapolis 500 has been run and Rolling Thunder's veterans have made their annual ride, the blasting of their engines sending a message to our missing and captive soldiers that they will not be forgotten - and a warning to their captors to beware, as we as  a nation will NEVER forget.

Now it is Memorial Day, and although there will backyard barbecues and parades galore, Memorial Day is the most solemn day of this "three day weekend".

Amid all this solemnety, wafting through the nation like a stray odor from a sewage plant, is of course the belittlement of the honoring of our fallen warriors. It's all very high-minded, of course. One particularly galling comment I heard was some idiot who said he was leery of using the word "hero" because it "aggrandizes warfare".

The people who say these things are the kind of people who deplored the World War II Memorial, saying things like it is "an expression of fascism"and decried the addition of the statue of the soldiers to the Vietnam Memorial, saying it "detracted from the clean and simple lines" of the Memorial (but who in reality wanted a black, depressing ditch - for that is how they percieve The Wall - to constantly remind everyone of the "shame" of a war we "lost".  The statue reminds people of that disgusting heroism that the Left so despises (when applied to people other than our enemies, of course. to them the Viet Cong were "heroic".)

It is one huge myth, beloved of the Left, that the United States "lost" the Vietnam War. They love to point to the famous picture of the U.S. Embassy being evacuated as a portrayal of our troops cutting and running before the onslaught of the victorious Communists.

In fact, we pulled out of Vietnam leaving a stable and legitimate government in the South in late 1972. The refusal of the Leftists in Congress to send armament and monetary aid to the new government doomed them to be overrun by the Communists and engendered a blood-bath and a tyranny. Our troops who fought in Vietnam were and are HEROES, and they vanquished the Viet-Cong.

 If there is any cause for anyone to be called "baby-killer"; if there is any shame to be attached to the fall of Saigon to the North Vietnamese Army, then it attaches to the Congressmen and Senators who voted to pull the rug out from under a nation our fighting men had fought to keep free.

I myself served in the United States Air Force during a portion of that conflict. But I feel a bit sheepish to admit that my duty stations during that time were in the Panama Canal Zone and Andrews AFB in Maryland as a member of the 24th and 1002nd Security Police Squadrons, respectively. When I make mention of this fact while among veterans of The Nam, I am invariably reminded that "All gave some, and some gave all".  Thanks for the kind words, guys, but some gave a lot more "some" than others. Still, my Honorable Discharge is my proudest posession.

I find it risible in the extreme when some "peacenik" type mouths the garbage that he is "anti-war". Who in his right mind, especially the soldier, is desirous of war? Indeed as Douglas MacArthur said, no one desires peace so much as the soldier.

One of the worst times in history to be an American soldier was during the D-Day landings in Normandy. Whole landing craft full of young troopers were slaughtered by machine-gun fire before they had even gotten out of the boat. But they kept coming, and there were too many for the German guns to kill them all. They did not cower and they did not run except that they ran straight for the enemy. You can bet your soul that not one of them relished the experience and that every one of them wished they were someplace else a tad quieter. Yet how horrible would have been the fate of the world without the heroism and sacrafice that day of the American soldier?

Our soldiers today stand ready to follow and indeed follow daily orders that put them in places and situations where they may well be killed. And they do it willingly and better than any armed force on this planet. They do it out of love of country and freedom, and without them we would have neither.

And today we remember the fallen, and honor those who serve and have served. When you bite into that burger, when you take a trip somewhere without asking anyone if you may go, when especially you criticize the government or otherwise express your opinion, knowing that no one may prevent you from or punish you for doing so, remember the heroes whose blood purchased and guard that right for you.

I am going to try to supply a link to "The Changing of the Guard", a poem I wrote in 1997. If it doesn't work, it can be pulled up in this blog's search box:

http://wwwdailypoop.blogspot.com/search?q=The+Changing+of+the+guard

It may be considered a cliche' by some, but it is so true:

FREEDOM IS NOT FREE