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Saturday, August 20, 2011

AMERICAN HIKERS SENTENCED TO PRISON IN IRAN

,WE HERE AT THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP HAVE LONG FEARED THE WORST FOR THE AMERICANS IMPRISONED IN IRAN FOR ALLEGEDLY CROSSING THE BORDER INTO THAT BENIGHTED NATION FROM WHAT THEY BELIEVED TO BE IRAQI KURDISTAN. LAST MONTH, HOPE WAS HELD OUT THAT THEY WOULD BE FREED AS AN ACT OF MERCY DURING THE ISLAMIC "HOLY MONTH" OF RAMADAN. HO, ho ho.

The folks in charge of Iran right now are religious nutballs who are quite as virulent - if not more so than - the "God hates Fags" assholes of our own Westboro Baptist "Church". But unlike the WBC, the Iranian mullahs are in complete control of that country. WBC leader Fred Phelps would approve of every aspect of what they do over there except for the fact that they don't accept Jesus as Lord and Savior (but then, Fred doesn't accept Him as such, either. To the Phelps clan, Jesus is a hater out to destroy everything they hate, and everything they hate has its origins in homosexuality; which the Iranian clergy also hates [although we suspect that in the case of the mullahs, it is because they don't want competition for the favors of pubescent boys. But we digress...])

From what we here at the ADP know, these hikers were a bunch of open-borders, peace-and-love, rainbow-and-unicorn shitheads who thought they could go hiking in the disputed border region between Iraqi Kurdistan and Iran and not run into any trouble as long as they obeyed their GPS devices. Idiots.

As far as GPS devices go, there are people who have taken right turns into ravines because their GPS device told them to turn right. These idiots were in a border region subject to Kurdish patrols and Iranian interlopers. To hell with the GPS, if I were stupid enough to go out for a lark in one of the most dangerous regions on the planet, I'd damn well stay well south of Kirkuk.

I bet every last one of these lame-brains voted for "president" Obama. I hope they know that he isn't in any position to save them, and he wouldn't try to if he could. The mullahs know Obama is weak and ineffectual. Ronald Reagan and even either of the Bushes would have them out of there tout le suite. Just having a couple of F-14s breaking the sound barrier 500 feet over Tehran would probably do the trick; but our one-ball "president" doesn't have the gumption for it.

However much I may deride these hikers for their callowness and cluelessness; and however much I may disdain their toddler-like worldview; they are AMERICAN CITIZENS. And that and only that is why they are now facing years in an Iranian hell-hole prison. ( IF these fools survive their incarceration, I want them put on an American prison review board. I wonder what they would say to an inmate who complained to them that the jail didn't put enough mayo on his turkey sandwich after they had spent a few years sipping chicken-butt tea with stale rice.)

The plight of these hikers illustrates vividly why we here in the USA tolerate Israel having nuclear weapons and will do just about anything to deny them to Iran. These mullahs are insane. Although their every official act, be it the slaughter of a sheep or the beheading of a criminal, begins with the intonement: "In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate"; they themselves are completely lacking in either.

Don't just take our word for it, though. Ask those poor idiots, IF they live through their imprisonment and return home. Ask them if what they experienced was "mercy" and "compassion" from the sociopathic vermin who today sentenced them to hell on earth.

(We bet these fools find a way to say yes and blame their suffering on George Bush.)

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