THAT 'TIMOTHY' SONG

Back in the day, there was a song called "Timothy', and at first hearing it seemed to be the story of three men trapped in a mine, two of whom wound up eating the third.

I just had a rather heated argument about that song. First, a little background.

The song has lyrics about how "Joe" was looking at Timothy after saying he would "sell his soul for just a taste of meat". Later when the speaker and "Joe" were pulled out alive, the speaker anguishes "God, what did we do?" as he notices that "Timothy" is nowhere to be seen.

Wikipedia fails to debunk this myth, and I can't be bothered to write on Wikipedia; so I'll do it here:

"TIMOTHY" WAS A DAMNED DONKEY YOU IDIOTS. He was a burro who pulled the coal trams out!!

Proof? Okay, for one thing, the refain goes "Timothy..Timothy..." In between the "Timothy"s  THERE IS A VIOLIN PLAYING WHAT ANY IDIOT CAN TELL IS A "HEE-HAW" RIFF.  

Not only this, but the record jacket HAS A PICTURE OF A DONKEY WITH A FLOWER GARLAND AROUND HIS NECK!! 

"Timothy" is a song about two men who killed and ate a donkey - a beloved coworker, but a donkey nonetheless - to survive a long entrapment in a caved-in mine. Hells bells, people. How do you think you'd feel if you were forced by extreme circumstances to eat your freaking dog?

How dumb can you be? Repeat after me: Timothy was a donkey. A donkey.

If you STILL think "Timothy" was a human coal miner, I bet you plan on voting for Obama. Donkey, indeed.