NOTICE: THIS IS SATIRE. THAT MEANS IT'S A GOOF ON THE JOKE OF A "PRESIDENT" WE ARE STUCK WITH.
ALABAMA, APRIL 29 2011
OBAMA TOURS TORNADO DESTRUCTION
"President" Barack Hussein Obama mmm mmm MMMMM finally found time to take a tour of the destruction wrought by the outbreak of tornadoes in that state.
"Gee, whiz. I've never seen anything like this" he said; indicating he has yet to look back on his "presidency" so far. 'Wow, that's toughie beans for these folks." He then got back into his convoy and sped off amid shouted questions about when FEMA would be coming with some luxuries such as food, water and fuel.
Once back in the White House, he briefed the White House Press Corps. Here are his remarks:
"I just got back from looking at the damage from the tornadoes down in Alabama. And you know, it struck me as I looked at the debris and the families picking through the wreckage and all of it, that these folks and Big Oil and Big Coal and the Republicans are the cause of such desolation. Global warming and the greenhouse gasses put out by all the internal combustion engines and all put all this energy in the atmosphere.
And another thing that came to mind was that so many people say that wind turbines cannot generate enough power. Well, wind did all this; so I guess there is enough wind power after all.
Ig we had been running on wind power instead of fossil fuel, there wouldn't be any wind to do all this damage. So there .. um.. wouldn't be any wind to um... what happened to my Teleprompter?" he said before walking out.
Meanwhile, FEMA is STILL a no show, leading to the inescapable conclusion:
Barack Obama hates white people.