IS "PRESIDENT" OBAMA CRACKING UP??

WE HERE AT THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP LISTENED TO THE RECENT STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS - at least as much of it as we could stand - and we are rather worried that the man who has his finger on "the button" is showing signs of teetering on the "deep end". We mean to say that Obama may be going nuts.



It was a speech full of praise for himself (delusions of grandeur) , lies, and attacks on his critics (paranoia); along with a statement of intent to go right ahead pushing his healthcare crap (doing the same thing and expecting a different result).



"President" Obama really went off the deep end when he said he wanted us to build a faster train than the high-speed doodad the Red Chinese have. We already tried building a high speed Amtrak called the "Acela". But our Safety Nazis have slowed it down to the point where it really isn't all that much faster than a regular old Amtrak choo-choo, but it is still almost twice as costly to ride.



The next day, Obama met with a group of Republicans wherein he told them that his Obamacare was a "Centerist" policy. This in the face of the fact that the centerpiece of it is that everyone will be forced to buy insurance approved by the government or pay a big fine and, if they refuse to do either, face FELONY criminal charges.



THEN he goes to the Georgetown-Duke game, barges into the announcer's booth and gets photographed wearing headphones. Mike Dukakis didn't look any goofier in that tank back in '88.



We have always thought Obama to be a blowhard, a bumbler, and a fool. Now we add "incipient lunatic" to these sobriquets.

EDITORIAL: Expressions That Piss Me Off

THERE ARE TIMES when I cannot stand the way people have butchered the English language. For instance, using an apostrophe to denote a plural "s". I was saved from getting a tattoo by seeing the sign on the tattoo parlor. It said: TATTOO'S HERE. In neon, no less. Well, unless there was someone named "tattoo" on the premises, the guy who made the sign was a dumbass. Here is the diff: "I dropped the boat's anchor" is perfectly good English. "I saw lots of boat's at the harbor" is the handiwork of a dumbass. I did not want some dumbass drawing permanent pictures on me, so I passed.



Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh. After all, my late father, a highly respected senior engineer with NCR back when NCR used to really be something, still spelled "clothes" "cloths". Still...



BUT WHAT REALLY GETS MY GOAT is the expressions people use these days to make themselves sound spohisticated, weasel out of actually saying anything, etc. Such as:



"I HAVE ISSUES". What the speaker really means is that he has a problem or a difference with something. What an "issue" really is, is (1) a point of political contention (the transportation issue, the war issue, the gun issue) (2) An iisue of a magazine or a newspaper or (3) a kid (the issue of the marriage). AN ISSUE IS NOT A GODDAMNED PERSONAL PROBLEM. Why do people say "issue" when they mean "problem"?
Well, my guess is it is either because they are so egomaniacal that they think their problem deserves to be debated by all and sundry (a la a political issue); or out of "politeness" ("he has issues" sounds less mean than "he's nuts", but that is negated when - as is often the case - the comment is made with the same snideness; in which the speaker just wants to sound sophisticated); or else because the speaker doesn't want to admit he has a "problem".
This misuse of the word "issues" has gone so far that at the gun range a few months ago a guy told me his pistol had "developed jamming issues". I told him I did not know a pistol could produce a music magazine. Correctly, the pistol had developed a problem with jamming. Maybe it was a cleaning issue.

"ANGER MANAGEMENT". This is a trendy piece of bullshit. "Anger management" classes are touchy-feely seminars where it is taught that all anger is bad. Usually people get sent to these after they have beaten the crap out of someone. "Anger management" classses are usually tought by some foofer who says crap like "anger is the result of feeling helpless and impotent"; as if a helpless impotent person could kick the crap out of someone.
Now not every time one gets angry at another is an occasion to express it with violence, but often anger is a good thing. If you pull a knife on me and demand my money, I will get very angry indeed, and will likely produce my firearm and (if you do not immediately turn and flee) shoot you. A lot of people in Massachussetts this week got angry as all hell and replaced Ted Kennedy with a Republican.
But you are not supposed to hit someone just because you think they cheated on a board game. This you were supposed to have learned by the time you finished kindergarten. And if not, then you should be fined and/or jailed until you do.

BUT THE EXPRESSION THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF IS:

"I THINK WE SHOULD ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION"

STUPID STUPID STUPID! "To err" means to make a mistake. This expression translates to: "I think we should deliberately make a mistake in order to be careful". How the fucking hell do you do that? How is it even possible to deliberately err?
This is the ultimate weasel phrase, and it is commonly used by politicians. Like the other two expresions, it is meant to present a mundane idea forth in a way that sounds sophisticated. But this one takes first prize for being possibly the dumbest thing any non-retarded adult has ever uttered.

HATIAN EARTHQUAKE (PART II-WHY IS HAITI SUCH A SINKHOLE?)

SOME HAVE SHARPLY CRITICIZED OUR DISMISSIVE LAST POST REGARDING THE RECENT HAITIAN QUAKE. But Haiti was and probably will remain abjectly poor with wretched housing thart cannot withstand earthquakes. And the reason for this is that Haiti is, er, abjectly poor with wretched housing that cannot withstand earthquakes.

Let us direct your attention to Haiti's neighbor on tiny Hispanola (an island about the size of South Carolina); the Dominican Republic. The quake was felt there too, but much less damage ensued. the situation just across the border with Haiti is much different. Why?

BECAUSE THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC HAS SOMETHING CALLED CONSTRUCTION STANDARDS AND BUILDING CODES! Structures in the DR MUST be rated to withstand a quake up to 7 Richter. Hatian housing on the other hand is/was/and likely will again be rebuilt as huts made of concrete slabs. Why don't Hatians have houses that are up to Dominican standards?

ASK YOUR AVERAGE BLEEDING HEART LIBTARD and he will say that Hatians are too poor to affford such housing. Instead of asking why they are so poor (or excusing it with claptrap about "colonialism" etcetera); the Libtard answer is to give them so much money that hopefully they will stop squandering it and build decent housing. The only thing wrong with this is that there is no amount of money that a single human being cannot sucessfully squander within months. Proof? two words: Washington, D.C.

HOWEVER, THINGS IN THE REAL WORLD ARE A BIT DIFFERENT. Certainly Hatians are poor, mostly because they are unemployed. Now, what does it take to build up-to-code housing? LABOR!! What does labor mean? JOBS!!! What do jobs mean? MONEY!!! The requirement for up-to-code housing will mean that out-of-work Haitians will have money they have earned; and earned money is better cared for and managed than given money. Shopkeepers will have their fortunes increased by supplying the newly employed former poor, and hire help.

Wealth is not finite, it is created. The miner digs the ore and sells it to the refiner. The refiner makes steel and sells it to the manufacturer. The manufaccturer creates sewing needles and sells them to the retailer. The retailer sells the needles to the housewife, who uses them to sew the pants of her young son; and the retailer's fortunes increase to the point that he hires the housewife's son, who uses the money to go to college and later becomes a politician and fucks the whole thing up.

Hmm. Maybe the Hatians have just cut to the chase?

EARTHQUAKE HITS HAITI, DOES SIX BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF IMPROVEMENTS.

Come on, folks. How is it possible to make a shithole like Haiti worse?

WHAT DID I TELL YOU? THE DEMONRATZ ARE A PACK OF RACISTS!!!

YOWZAH MASSA DADDY-O! Harry Reid, the fucking idiot who is the "Senate Majority Leader" has just proven what I have said several times in this blog already. He has a book coming out in which he says that Obama got elected because he had "light skin and no discernable Negro dialect". Despite his attempts to back-pedal and apologize, he has stuck the Demon-Rat donkey dick in the proverbial meat grinder. OH! For a Conservative Nationalist this is SO SWEET! Can you imagine what the Left would say if some Republican or conservative commentator had said the word "Negro"? Hells bells folks, if you are not a goddamned communist you are not even allowed to say "United Negro College Fund" EVEN THOUGH THAT IS THE NAME OF THE OUTFIT. Let alone had said conservative implied that any African-American politician been elected becuse he had "light skin" and talked like white folks.

What Harry Reid meant - and we are NOT gonna let hin weasel outta this - was pretty clear.
WARNING! STRONG RACIALLY TINGED LANGUAGE FOLLOWS. I MEAN I AM GOING TO LAY IT ON. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE OR A LIBERAL, THE TRUTH MAY NOT AGREE WITH YOU. DOUBTLESS YOUR INTERNET TERMINAL HAS SOME AMUSING GAMES FOR YOU TO PLAY, SO GO TWIDDLE YOUR THUMBS .
Before I start in, I want to tell the black folk who may be reading this that any insult herein comes not from me or the ADP; but rather we report herein the attitudes of the party which has taken you for a ride for decades; and we want to expose who the racists in America really are. So. Here goes:

Translate Reid's remarks and here's what I heard; and if you are honest you know damn well that this translation is accurate:
"I just can't believe that we lucked into a jigaboo who wouldn't scare the white folks too much. Just a touch of pancake founndation and he almost looks white, and the way he talks it's almost as if he isn'tt even a nigger at all. Boy oh boy, the party was really getting concerned that the coons were wising up. I mean, the Sambo vote was starting to ask what we actually were doing for them. Thank God we found a jungle bunny that even the white folks would find cute. And young, too. By god these white voters thought that this fucking MauMau was JFK re-incarnated. Yeah, we were a bit worried that the boy would want to change the name of the White House to the Nigga House, but so far he is doing pretty nuch as he is told".

After Harry was outed on this, he "apologized" to Obama; and now we all - and especially black citizens - are supposed to accept the apology the way Obama did and get back in line.

DON"T.

If you are an African-American and accept this insullt and the lame apology for it you are a fool. The above translation of Senator Reid.s remarks is exactly what the Democrat Party thinks of you. Would you let a Republican talk that way about you and then offer up an apology? Of course not. WHY WILL YOU PUT UP WITH DEMOCRAT INSULTS TO YOUR RACE THEN??

Why?

NEW SPECIES FOUND IN WASHINGTON D.C.

ZOOLOGISTS CLAIM TO HAVE FOUND A NEW SPECIES IN THE CITY OF WASHINGTON, District of Columbia. They have dubbed the new animal the "Greater False Shmoo" (Pseudophilanthropis Imperious). With this new classification, the rest of the genus Pseudophilanthropis have been reclassified as differing breeds and species of "Lesser False Shmoos".





The Greater False Shmoo is a mimic in that it attempts to imitate the Greater (true) Shmoo (Philanthropis Infinitus) . P.Infinitus was known to be so oriented toward giving that if it sensed a human was hungry it would cook itself and morph into whatever dish was desired. Some skepticism has been expressed that P. Infinitus ever existed; but the existence of the Lesser (true) Shmoos tends to point in the opposite direction. These lesser Shmoos include everything from Philanthropis Holyorderis (dedicated to helping the poor and indigent) through Philanthropis Neighboris (dedicated to helping wherever it lives however it can and in many often mundane ways). Lesser shmoos can inter breed and produce many interesting variations. Oddly enough they are seldom noticed, and often taken for granted, but the nature of Philanthropis is such that they are mostly oblivious as their very instinct is to do what they do.





The False Shmoos; or Pseudophilanthropis; attempt to mimic the True Shmoos except that they expect recognition for all their "giving"; and in fact attempt to get more in return than what they give. The lowest of this order is PseudoP. Confidensis, which will attempt to convince someone to part with great value for a pittance. However all members of Pseudophilanthropis share this characteristic to some degree, but perhaps none with such clever mimicry of the True Philanthropis than Pseudophilanthropis Politicus.

PseudoP. Politicus has several subspecies, from PP. Localis (which acts locally as on homeowner associations, town councils and the like) to Pp.Congressionalis; further divided into Pp. Representatus and Pp. Senatoris. These tend to congregate in Washington, DC; and it is from among the Pp. Senatoris that the Great False Shmoo is said to have originated. (There is rumored to be a species of the True shmoos, Philanthropis Politicus, who congregate at all levels with Pseudophilanthropis Politicus; but for the most part sooner or later these tend to become infected with a mysterious virus that transforms their genetic makeup to that of Pseudophilanthropis. )

Also all variations of Philanthropis and Pseudophilanthropis can cross-breed with various results. In almost every case however the genes of Pseudophilanthropis dominate in the offspring.

The Great False Shmoo is thought to be a unique variety, the ultimate result of all of this cross-breeding and infective genetic change. Pseudophilanthropis Imperious is the mimic of the original Greater True Shmoo by leif of the fact that it promises to be anything to anyone and everything to everyone; but instead of making itself dinner it will fry and serve up any member of Pseudophilanthropis or even Philanthropis Legitimii that it can trick into the skillet.

As with the Lesser false shmoos, the Great False Shmoo is dedicated to a front of service to others while using this as a thinly veiled facade for their true purpose of self-service. Oddly enough, the Great False Shmoo, inits quest for self-aggrandizement, shows signs of leading the Lesser False Shmoos into near-extinction (see: lemming). Total extinction is not in any case likely, as dormant Pseudophilanthropis genes are likely to remain and randomly activate in the populations of Philanthropis Legitimii for as long as that species remains.