AN OPEN LETTER TO PARKLAND SURVIVOR DAVID HOGG

To David Hogg, the Parkland, Florida massacre survivor who has been shooting his teenage mouth off about things he doesn't understand and acting like a brat, even hanging up the phone on President Trump:

Dear Child:

We at the Alexandria Daily Poop wish first of all to tell you that we understand the horror you and your classmates went through as you hid in a closet and made video records of what for all you knew were your last minutes of life.  And we agree with you that this is completely unacceptable. 

However we also find the things you and your cohort have been "demanding" (how very cute!) to be both unacceptable and based on Leftist lies. 

Your proposed "solutions" revolve around the control and banning of certain firearms. FIREARMS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM HERE.  Moreover, it is impossible to take firearms of any sort away from the bad guys.  If we wanted to have a submachine gun, for instance, we could make a variant of the old M3 "Grease gun" in a friend's basement. It would take all of 12 hours and less than two hundred buck's worth of sheet metal steel rods and pipe. Look the weapon up on You Tube. Imagine if Mr. Cruz had an M3.  

You, David, are now popular (We bet the chicks are all over you. We hope you use Brylcream(c) in your hair, as we are given to understand that the wimmens love to run their fingers through it). But we fear your popularity is due to your doing what so many teenagers wish so passionately to do: stand up to the adults and tell us we are full of shit.  You and your pals are being used as tools to attempt to completely disarm the American People.  I guarantee you your Leftist backers will quickly drop you and even try to destroy your young life should you EVER demand solutions to the REAL problem. 

The real problem is that Mr. Cruz literally did everything short of taking out a full page newspaper ad warning of what he was going to do. But he evaded trouble even after committing serious crimes because of a - words fail us - misbegotten and asinine policy designed to keep "minority" kids from going to prison after high school.  In accordance with this policy Mr. Cruz was allowed to "skate" on several offenses which would have wound up with either him in custody and unable to shoot up a school or on a local law enforcement watch list.  If the government had done its job, 14 kids and 3 adults would be alive today.  THAT's what you kids ought to be focusing on.

However, dearest David, focus on THESE concerns and just watch how fast all the free pussy dries up (You are interested in pussy, aren't you?). The praise the media has been showering on you will end, and you may even wind up facing criminal charges. (I wouldn't worry about that. Under Trump you're safe from political abuse of the Justice Department).  

David, when we were a child it was possible to order an M1 Garand .30-06 semiautomatic rifle form Sears or Montgomery Ward and have it shipped COD to your doorstep via the United States Post Office. And we NEVER had ANYTHING like Parkland or Columbine happen.  

It is NOT firearms that are the problem, David. If you want to show your leadership, then address the real problem. The trouble is, your peers don't want to hear it.