CHINESE FORCES MASS ON NORTH KOREAN BORDER WHILE UNITED STATES NAVY STANDS BY NEAR THE KOREAN PENINSULA; PRESIDENT TRUMP CALLS CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS IN FOR NATIONAL SECURITY BRIEFING.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un has gone completely batshit recently, threatening unspecified destruction on unspecified nations. Since Kim apparently has some nuclear weapons now, this cannot be taken as just some more bullcrap ranting from Kim's insane fat ass. 

President Trump has been rumored to have told China's President Li jin Ping (We think that's his name) during Li's visit to Trump's resort that Kim has to go, and that if China doesn't do something about Kim, the United States would have to. 

There is speculation that Kim may be ready to throw a nuke at Tokyo or maybe Honolulu. That would probably trigger a nuclear response by Trump, and if Kim hit Honolulu that would almost certainly be the case. 

And if Russia and China's early warning systems spot a series if ICBM launches from the United States, their forces would probably go on hair trigger alert. So Trump would have to coordinate things with Russia and China. One misstep could mean the onset of World War III for real. 

Trump has called the leadership of Congress in for a conference.  And we bet that if you were on the roadside on Washington Boulevard in Arlington tonight you could read a book at 3 AM from the lights blazing in the windows of the Pentagon.

We believe it is entirely possible all this was discussed and planned at Mar a Lago resort. A joint Sino-American invasion of North Korea to eliminate the fat nutball Kim could quite possibly be in the offing. But if Kim gets hinky and launches at Japan or Hawaii, God knows what would happen.

One indication that Kim is a blustering chicken is that he has arrested an American citizen for a shield and a bargaining chip.

One ray of hope is that the North Korean armed forces can see what nutty old Kim is doing and that he could start a war that could well leave them and/or their families dead. A coup d'etat by the NORK Military could well get rid of the Kim dynasty and replace it with a (slightly) more benign leadership. Maybe this is what China and the United States are trying to foment; probably with Chinese intelligence organizing the coup from within. But organizing a coup in a police state is dangerous business. Remember the officers who tried to kill Hitler and wound up dangling from meat hooks with piano wire around their necks?

All this is of course speculation on our part. But we bet when we check our stats tomorrow we have at least two dozen hits from China and Korea and about 10 or more from Russia. Stay tuned; we certainly will

CALIFORNIA SECESSION PHOOEY. IS IT POSSIBLE TO KICK THEM OUT?

Particularly the American Left has been fond of saying that the question of whether a state may leave the Union has been "settled" since the defeat of the Confederacy. It hasn't, at least not legally. The South was forced back in by brute force in a bloody civil war. But what if most of these United States find the behavior of one or two states so contrary to the requirements of the Constitution that they believe their statehood should be revoked?

California, the land of fruits and nuts, has been making noises about leaving the Union (and, just as in the 1860s this movement is being led by Democrats).  

Recent events including the nullification of U.S. immigration laws via establishment of "sanctuary cities" and the policies of State funded universities which claim to be "unable to provide security" to speakers whom the violent mob of the Left deem unacceptable leave us no choice but to wonder whether it might be possible to revoke the statehood of California. 

We do not here recommend that California be cut loose to become a "banana (or maybe avocado) republic" to be propped up by elements of the International Left. What we are proposing is to reduce California to the status of a United States Territory until the People of California kick their nutball leadership out and come to their senses. No Senators and a non-voting Delegate to Congress and one electoral vote in the Presidential race just like D.C. and the Virgin Islands, and the Territorial Code to be subject to oversight by the Congress. 

Perhaps certain counties of California could be permitted to petition the Congress  to be re-admitted, resulting in a narrow strip of lunacy from just north of San Diego up to the northern border remaining a Territory. 

And come to think about it, same thing for Hawaii, all of it, until they too come to know that "having Aloha" is not required by the Constitution.

EASTER 2017

Today is the day when most Christians celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ. For my part, I cram 40 days of Lent into a 3-day fast, starting with a meal of lamb on "Maundy Thursday" and ending on Easter morning with a meal of fish of some sort, preferably grilled. I can tell you that if you do this, by Saturday afternoon you will notice each and every restaurant, grocery store and food stand you pass. 

Jesus was and is Jehovah God. He is part of the Holy Trinity of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. These three are NOT three gods, they are one God in three persons. They do not disagree nor do they have arguments. 

Jesus's friends said He is God. His enemies said He is God And of course Jesus himself said He is God. 

The Old Testament says very plainly that a man can only atone for one of his own sins with his own blood. He will still be guilty of all the rest of his sins, and he certainly cannot atone for anyone else's sins. But the blood of a man completely innocent of any wrongdoing can cover the sins of the world with His blood. 

So it is with Jesus. He was miraculously conceived in the womb of the Virgin Mary; and no blood descended from Adam and Eve coursed through His veins. He, being God in the flesh, lived a blameless life. When he was tried by Pontius Pilate, Pilate exclaimed to the crowd: "I find no fault in Him!!". 

Nevertheless, the mob shouted for crucifixion. And Pilate, afraid of being reported to Caesar for tolerating lese majeste, gave the mob a cadre of Roman executioners to carry out the death penalty. 

And so after being beaten to within an inch of His life, he walked to Calvary. So badly beaten was He that a man named Simon was dragooned by the execution team to carry His cross. 

Then the nails, and the hoisting of the Cross and the jolt as it was dropped into a post hole. 

But the worst torture He endured was having the sins and offenses of the world laid upon Him. All the vile abominations of anyone past, present and future, were laid upon Him. It was to Him as if it would be to you if you were immersed in raw sewage, multiplied infinitely. His spirit departed Him, and he was taken into a borrowed tomb. 

Three days later, having shaken off this burden into Hell (where he proclaimed His salvation to its captives) He took His life back and walked out of that grave. 

The sins I have committed in my life and any future errors of mine were borne by Jesus those three days. Thanks be to Jesus, I am assured a place in Heaven. This Holy Gift is available to you. All you need do is accept it. Here is ten second salvation:

"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Jehovah God, and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, then you shall be saved"

Confess and believe, therefor. Time is short. Happy Easter, and bless the Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world and who alone is worthy to be praised.

Again, a very joyous and happy Easter to you.

WHAT AMERICAN STATIST PROGRESSIVES FEAR MOST ABOUT A CONSERVATIVE JUDICIARY AND PRESIDENT TRUMP

We all know that the ASPs were drooling over the possibility of Hillary Clinton appointing several Supreme Court justices who would rule in their favor on just about everything. Now their dreams of holding power no matter who wins any election have been dashed. But there are even worse things in store for these wannabe dictators.

Take the controversy about fake men and women - AKA "transsexuals" - using which restroom or gym locker, etc.. Most sane people in most states are dead set against this foolishness. Many of these states have ASP governors and/or legislators who support this lunacy. Taking the concerns of "Transgendered" folks to the Feds and getting court decrees and Federal directives  allows these politicians to avoid having to take responsibility for policies which would likely get them voted out of office; simply by saying "It's a Federal decision, I have no choice".

But President Trump has stated that he believes these things - and others such as "gay marriage" - are best left to the states. NOW these politicians have to campaign on these unpopular issues or else lose their lunatic base. And either way they are likely to lose. 

The days of state and local ASP politicians having the dog of the Federal government and courts as a dog to blame their ideological farts on are coming to a close. And they are not happy. 

Too freaking bad.

APRIL FOOL YOU LEFTIST SUCKERS!!

We sincerely hope that not a few lefties failed to realize  what day it was when we made our last post and shot a huge wad in their pants resulting in a huge dry cleaning bill and an embarrassing explanation to the dry cleaner about the California potato chips.

And David Brock? Fuck you very much. And the horse you rode in on (if you haven't taken care of that yourself.).

"White Privilege" is a crock of shit. And the Constitution is the Supreme Law of the Land, the Holy Bible is the Word of God and they both mean exactly what they say: the Constitution in plain English and the Bible in its original Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic.

"Social Justice" is just Leftist-speak for "getting even" And playing fields will never ever be perfectly "level". But as the game is played, if one side has to drive uphill on offense, at half time the situation is reversed. (This also negates the direction and intensity of the wind, etc.). 

Now please excuse us, as we are shopping for a Walther PPK/s made under license by the now-defunct Interarms company of Alexandria, Virginia to replace our current PPK/s made under license by Smith and Wesson. Sorry, S&W; but you folks need to stick with revolvers. We LOVE your Model 15 Combat Masterpiece and the old Model 29 .44 Magnum. 

And worry not, Gentle Readers. The last post was a complete joke. It was hard to do as we gagged on almost every word. We're still alive and kicking, and as conservative and Nationalist as ever. 

APRIL EPIPHANY - WE ARE CLOSING THIS BLOG

Gentle readers, I fear that I have been misguiding you for these past nine years. Allow me to explain.

Like Media Matters chief and former right-wing activist David Brock, I have had an epiphany of sorts. And David, I am very sorry for all the bad things I have said about you. Please accept my apologies. 

Like David I have come to realize that all my conservative ranting has its roots in my own selfish interest in maintaining my white privilege. My insistence in maintaining that the Second Amendment protects the individual right to keep weapons and carry them in public is based on a fear of other races and a wish to be armed to keep them at bay. 

I now realize that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are the two wisest people ever to try to lead this country. And I had spit in the eye of social justice when I voted for Donald Trump, who is ruining the economy and the nation with his disastrous policies.

In my perverted conservative/nationalist beliefs I have failed to recognize that the Constitution is a living, breathing document whose meaning changes with the times. As is the Bible. We don't stone adulterers anymore; so that's proof of that.

As with the Constitution and the Bible, consideration of any statement must take into account the times and traditions in which the statement was made. Therefore today, April 1st 2017, we say all the above and announce that we are ceasing publication effective immediately.

F. Allen Norman Jr.

Editor in Chief

The Alexandria Daily Poop.