OUR ANNUAL REVIEW OF 2016, THE IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD, AND PREDICTIONS FOR 2017v

Well, gentle readers, it has been some few years since we put out the New Year's Eve post. We are at the moment propped up in the sack enjoying breakfast and preparing to deal with the celebrating public for the next 36 hours (or more). We will have OUR champagne when we are finally done (Actually our traditional sparkling wine here at the ADP is Freixenet Black Spanish,which isn't - strictly speaking - Champagne; so sue us. So without further ado, let us begin with our

REVIEW OF 2016

This final year of the administration - if it can be called that - of White House Resident Barack Hussein Obama has been a real roller-coaster of ups and downs. A mind-boggling quantity of celebrities and entertainers passed away this year (But Mick Jagger evidently endureth forever). But this being an election year, politics overlaid nearly everything that was happening. And of course with the Left controlling the media just about everything was linked in some way with a sideways snark at the man they were trying to prevent from gaining the White House, our President-Elect Donald J. Trump. 

Politics, politics, politics. 2016 was all about politics, and particularly the increasingly desperate efforts of the American Statist Progressives (ASPs, because they are a bunch of treacherous vipers) to prevent the Republicans from controlling all three branches of the Federal government. And oddly enough, the weapon they thought they had was the self-same Donald Trump; who will now be sworn in on January 20th as President of the United States of America. 

The highest prize in this year's elections was of course the say in who will be nominated to the Supreme Court. This was made unfathomably more important by the untimely - and many say suspicious - death of conservative lion Antonin Scalia. And this fact alone - that Donald Trump will make those calls and not Hillary Clinton - has been the single most powerful driving force behind the unhinged protests of the ASPs and their brainwashed adherents. 

Thus Donald J. Trump is not only TIME magazine's "Person of the Year" for 2016. In our opinion Trump IS 2016 personified. We have never seen such a convulsion of the Left in this country as they realized that their whole hundred years work in their effort to cement socialism to our daily lives was about to collapse under the administration of Donald Trump. And the ASPs will not give up (we are thinking of that line in the movie Gladiator where a Roman general says that someone should tell the Germans that they've been conquered) but will continue to be as much of a pain in the ass as possible. 

THE 2016 IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD 

Since we haven't done this for a few years, a recap on the purpose and qualifications for this "prize" may be in order.

"Idiot of the Year" is awarded not to some nationally known doofus but rather to someone we have met in the course of our day-to-day operation of a taxicab in the National Capital Region. This is because we believe that idiocy on a large scale is underpinned by idiocy on a small scale. For instance, millions of "little" idiots elected Barack Obama and his idiot administration. 

Past recipients have been a federal government employee who upon being told the significance of December 7th wished us "Happy Pearl Harbor Day" (yeesh) and a man who summoned us to open the doors to his vehicle because he had locked his keys in, and then did not want to pay us because we merely reached into the window he had left open and retrieved his keys. 

The successful candidate for Idiot of the Year will say, do or brag about something in my presence which is idiotically incommensurate with his or her level of social standing, wealth, and/or education. People who are genuinely retarded or otherwise mentally defective are disqualified, since it's not their fault they are simpletons. Also alcohol and substance intoxication are disqualifying factors, as in this competition they are "performance enhancing drugs". However, bragging (while sober) about some stupid thing one did whilst drunk or high puts you into the running. Candidates for Idiot of the Year are people who damn well ought to know better.

And now we announce and award our traditional prize to the winner of 

THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP ANNUAL

IDIOT

OF

ing 

THE

YEAR

2016!

A few months ago we were waiting in front of a D.C. office building waiting for a passenger. Directly over our head was a sign that said "NO PARKING - ENTRANCE". In front of us was a "NO PARKING - BUS ZONE" sign and in back of us was a red curb with a fire hydrant in the middle of the red zone. Presently some guy in a BMW pulled up alongside me and asked: 

"CAN I PARK HERE?"

Cripes. 

Yes, of course you may, you stupid bastard. See, I not only drive a cab, but I'm also in charge of parking control for the entire DC Metropolitan Area. If you get towed, just tell them I said you could park there and they'll release your car. Hell, they'll even deliver it to you, on my orders. Never mind the signs and the painted curb. I'm feeling generous today, so just park wherever you want. 

You, you idiot, are a symptom of what's wrong with this entire country. You want to make what is OBVIOUSLY a WRONG choice and think if you get someone - ANYONE - to validate it, it'll be okay. It won't. When your car gets towed, you won't blame yourself, you'll blame ME even though it was YOUR responsibility to READ THE DAMN SIGNS AND OBEY THEM!

And to top it off, you are almost as old as me and not some idiot Millennial. When MY generation acts as stupidly as the present crop of young adults, it's nothing short of alarming. 

And so you, Mr. "Ask the cabbie for permission to break the law" are the recipient of the dubious honor of being named 

IDIOT OF THE YEAR 2016!

As usual, the "prize" is our suggestion to you that you and your offspring if any get sterilized as to avoid bringing in another generation of imbeciles. We have enough of you already.

OUR PREDICTIONS FOR 2017

In the upcoming sentencing phase of the trial of convicted mass murderer Dylann Roof, it will be revealed that the "family secret" he was trying to conceal by acting as his own counsel and calling no witnesses is that Roof is bisexual and was engaged in a sexual relationship with a family member; perhaps his own mother: and would sooner die than have this brought to light. Roof will be sentenced to life without parole and will seek protection with some "ARYAN" gang in prison, and wind up as the sexual property of some Nazi. 

Having eliminated the "60 votes for closure of debate" rule, some Democrat senator will drop dead trying to filibuster the old fashioned way (by just not shutting up when he has the floor). And good riddance. 

Donald Trump will continue to astonish and amaze opponents and friends alike with his adroit handling of the government. Within the year the position of the United States on the world stage will be restored as the world's pre-eminent superpower. 

And the ASPs will continue their lunacy until everyone (almost) finally percieves them to be the depraved loons they are. 

Russia and the USA will finally get the Middle East under control. The war on the extremist radical Islamists will be waged properly: ie; until they surrender or are all dead. 

And it is our hope here at the ADP that each and every one of our gentle readers has a very happy and prosperous New Year in 2017. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017 FROM THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP!

A TINY BIT OF WATER TURNS OUT TO BE THE REASON FOR THAT LAST POST

Before I begin, gentle readers, I would like to tell you that my Christmas turned out to be mostly okay. I did have to work for more than 24 hours straight to get caught up with the room rent, but I did get to meet up with some very good friends and have a nice Christmas dinner. Seeing as how I've been talking almost no one but cab company management, auto mechanics and the management here at this motel for more than 14 days just a few words with friends were wonderfully restorative. 

As it turns out, the problem is more than likely water vapor inside the interface between the control module in the car and the various systems. When it gets cold enough and humid enough, the vapor condenses and the damn computer can't tell the anti-theft module there's a valid key in the ignition, thus no start. This may also explain the intermittent nature of several other irksome - but mostly not disabling - problems I have been experiencing. 

So I probably won't have to spend another day at the shop until it's convenient, since I've developed a method for coping with the problem. It's still a whole megillah to get the damn thing started in the morning. It entails re-setting the system by disconnecting the battery, waiting 20 seconds, re-connecting it and then putting the key in "run"and waiting until the wiring has heated up enough to re-vaporize the mist. 

Simple. And it only took me 14 days and about three grand in lost revenue to find out. 

Oh well. Once again, Merry Christmas.

CHRISTMAS 2016

Well, here it is Christmas and I'm about miserable. "Between residences" and living in a  $300 per week motel, and maybe soon in my cab because the hack developed problems with its anti-theft system and for almost two weeks it just flat refused to permit me to start it. The good news is that the mechanic and I found a way to reset the system and it mostly starts up on the first or second try. So if by some miracle I go out tonight and work 24 hours in a row and don't wind up with every nitwit I pick up shoving a plastic rectangle in my face instead of cash, I might be able to get caught up here.  But I've lost almost two grand in income because of that damned cab, and instead of buying everybody a bottle of Benedictine D.O.M. I am struggling to stay out of the cold. 

But for all that, I'm thankful that I'm living here in the USA and not in some war-torn hellhole on the other side of the globe. And I'm happy that my friends have kids and grandkids who are for one night out of the year actually eager to go to sleep. 

And so I'm hoping for a "Christmas miracle" in the next 24 hours. And  I (and you) shouldn't lose sight of the true Miracle of Christmas: The birth of The Savior 2016 years ago. He watches over me, so I'll be all right. And so will you and yours. 

A very merry Christmas to all.

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MORE ON THE ALLEGED "RUSSIAN ELECTION HACK"

It has been given to us to understand that those diabolical Russians did not swing the outcome of the election to Trump by phonying up the vote tally. 

This of course comes as no surprise to us, for reasons we have given in our previous post on this subject. We note that the leftist media has never in any of this directly said that the voting totals were affected by the alleged "Russian hack"; but it has been strongly implied that this was exactly what happened. 

Once, however the weasels had their backs against the wall, the allegation was made that the Russians had "hacked" both the Republican AND the Democrat National Committees and ignored the derogatory things they unearthed about the Republicans and spread around the dirt they found on the Democrats. This, it is alleged, "influenced" the election. 

Well, let's see...

Among the things unearthed and distributed by somebody - maybe the Russians, maybe Wikileaks, whoever - was an e-mail from Clinton campaign chief John Podesta bitching about "needy Latinos" whining and wanting stuff. 

Now, if Podesta had never written that e-mail; then the true attitude of the Democrat Party toward Latinos - that by the lights of the Democrats they are people who should vote Democrat and accept what they get (which will be as little as possible) and not bitch - would have never been exposed. 

Now if this were a false allegation, the Democrats could have countered it with the truth. But now all they are left with is whining about how it is "unfair" that people now know the truth about their attitude toward the minorities they allegedly are trying to help.

It's a laff riot watching the Democrats and their shills in the media melt down over this. Allegations that the info hack was urged by Trump are being pushed. Meanwhile almost 60 percent of the American people think that the Democrats are full of shit. 

Meanwhile there is growing evidence that a supporter of  Bernie Sanders - a DNC staffer - leaked these Podesta e-mails as revenge for the (proven) DNC rigging of the Democrat primary in favor of Hillary Clinton. 

Is Podesta a Russian? Maybe that's what they mean by "Russian".

TRUMP HAS EVERYONE'S PRECIOUS PANTIES IN A TWIST

OH NO! Trump just nominated a "climate change denier" to the EPA! All you lefties head for the rooftops and shout the alarm!

MY GOD! Trump just picked a guy who thinks climate change is real to be Secretary of State! Plus the nominee advocated gay Scoutmasters! Oh, NO! All you righties get on the talk shows and denounce this!

OH, MY HEAVENS! Look at all the former Generals Trump has nominated for various positions! Is he planning to foment a military takeover with himself as Commander in Chief? Will his first act be a coup d'etat? What is Trump planning on doing?

Two things. 

First, Trump is putting together an Administration of people he feels are best qualified to run the agencies he appoints them to. As he sees it, their administrative skills are best suited for the jobs he appoints them to. And he will be the boss and they will damn do as they are told and they will know it. 

Second, he is splitting his critics on both sides, causing them to get confused and unhinged, nattering about his choices on both sides of the issues.

If you want to know about Trump, I'll tell you a story about a little boy of two whose family had a tradition of setting before a boy on his second birthday a Bible, an (empty) miniature liquor bottle, and a dollar bill. The idea was to predict the kid's future.

If he picked up the Bible, for instance he would go into the Ministry.

If he picked up the liquor bottle, he'd be an entertainer.

And if he picked up the dollar, he'd be a businessman. 

So when Junior toddled over and picked up the Bible, his mother smiled and touched her heart, as she always had wished her son to be a preacher. 

But then the toddler tucked the Holy Book underneath his arm, stuffed the dollar in his pocket, grabbed the liquor bottle, and toddled away. 

His mom's jaw dropped with astonishment, and her husband looked at her and said:

"Well I'll be damned, Madge. The boy's gonna be a politician!"

We think the kid's name was Donald J. Trump. 

DID THE RUSSIANS "HACK" OUR PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION? (no)

As this is being written we are watching some guy on Chicken Noodle News (CNN) going on and on about how the charge that Russia may have gained access to the vote-tallying infrastructure and manipulated the 2016 election to be so serious as to warrant a complete (and politically noisy, which is the real point) investigation.  

Let's take a look at some facts.

The United States of America consists of 50 states plus several territories having from 3 to 55 "electoral votes". Each of these States are divided into Counties, with over 3,000 counties in total. Each of these counties is further divided into voting precincts, with some having hundreds. So a conservative estimate would put the total at 30,000 precincts. 

Each of the counties (or independent cities like Alexandria, Baltimore, St. Louis and Carson City) establishes how votes shall be cast. The methods used range from simple paper ballots in a box through those old clunky lever-actuated voting machines through marked paper ballots which are electronically counted right up to totally electronic voting machines (which are self contained and not directly connected to cyberspace). 

Typically, precincts transmit the vote tally by some secure means - with observers from both parties monitoring the process - to the County or City. The Counties and Cities then transmit the totals - after verification and again under the observation of poll watchers - to the Secretary of State for the State in which the votes were cast. The State Secretary of State then certifies the vote and passes it to the Federal Election Commission using secure facilities and verification procedures. 

For any entity foreign or domestic to "hack" the vote so egregiously as to affect the outcome , the effort would entail doing so in a way that the aforementioned secure procedures would not detect such a massive discrepancy at one point or another. 

We are not saying here that the Russians might not have tried  such shenanigans. But here in America we have the world's best hackers. And most of them come down on the side of Hillary Clinton and her ilk. If anyone in the world tried to electronically corrupt our election, they - and not the Russians - are the first suspects. 

Finally, we find it surprising that these accusations come from the same bunch of American Statist Progressives who are so opposed to requiring a valid photo identification to ensure ballot integrity. if there is a problem with the integrity of the vote in America, it lies with the domestic threat thereto, and NOT with "The Russians". 

Case closed.

REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR

Three quarters of a century ago, the Empire of Japan mounted a naval based air raid on the United States military installations in Hawaii. The main target was the U.S. Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor, but the attackers did not neglect the air strips at Wheeeler and Ford fields. It was a complete surprise in that the Japanese delegation  to Washington was at that very hour meeting with our Secretary of State in talks aimed at preserving peace. 

Every battleship in the Pacific Fleet was damaged. Four, most notably the USS Arizona were sunk. 

2,408 American soldiers and sailors and 68 civilians were killed.

The next day, President Franklin Roosevelt asked for and obtained from Congress a formal Declaration of War. Treaty obligations forced Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy to declare war on the United States, and on December 11 1941 we declared war on them, too. 

Less than three and one half years later, Adolf Hitler committed suicide as allied forces closed in on Berlin. Less than three months after that, Japan surrendered after having twice tasted the fire of nuclear weaponry. 

On September 11 2001 these United States were again attacked by surprise, with a similar amount of casualties. The ensuing conflict has gone one nearly four times as long as it took us to beat out three enemies on two fronts in World War II. We need to remember Pearl Harbor, and remember how we brought three well-armed and determined criminal regimes to their knees in three years and nine months - not 15 years and change. 

President-elect Trump, once you are sworn in, remember Pearl Harbor. Let's get busy and finish this.

"FAKE NEWS" IS IDIOTS WHO THINK THE ONION IS A LEGIT NEWSPAPER

Although we wouldn't put it past Clinton campaign official Norman Podesta to be operating a whorehouse for kiddie-diddlers out of a pizzeria run by one of David Brock's old boyfriends, we rather doubt there is anything to the lurid claims circulating via "Twitter" and such. 

From what we can tell, this whole "pizzagate" matter started as a rumor on some social network and then "went viral"; which is the online term for everybody sharing idle gossip as if it were Gospel.

The Democrats and their media surrogates however see the problem as a result of people being allowed to read "unfiltered" news. Well, no it isn't. What's wrong here is that the very idiots that the Democrats had spent years cultivating as credulous boobs saw some sort of satire or parody about a pedophile ring being operated out of some DC pizza parlor and treated the story as if it were real life. 

There is no "fake news". There are only very real idiots.

THE TEN STRONG THINGS (From the Talmud)

THE TEN STRONG THINGS

There are ten things which have strength:

IRON is strong, but fire melts it

FIRE is strong, but water quenches it

WATER is strong, but it evaporates to clouds

CLOUDS are strong, but the 

WIND blows them away.

MAN is strong, but fear casts him down.

FEAR is strong but sleep overcomes it

SLEEP is strong, yet

DEATH is stronger still; yet

LOVING KINDNESS overcomes even death.