SPICE

WE HAVE BEEN HEARING AND READING FOR SOME TIME ABOUT "SPICE" SMOKING MIXTURE, TOUTED AS A 'LEGAL ALTERNATIVE" TO MARIJUANA. So when we spotted some on sale cheap (the store owner was in a hurry to get rid of the stuff before Virginia Governor O'Donnell signs a recently-passed ban on the stuff into law), we decided to give it a try while it was still legal.

Frankly we were quite skeptical that anything as supposedly "powerful" as this "spice" stuff would work as advertised. The stuff has been around for at least two years, yet the DEA just got around to banning the main ingredient?

Now, we have not smoked marijuana for a couple decades, so we did not have the needed equipment - ie; a pipe and a screen - so we took a 24 Oz beer can, made a depression in the side, punched it full of little holes, and put the "spice" in there. We lit it, and inhaled through the top opening.

This stuff is several orders of magnitude stronger than the Lebanese hashish that used to be so widely available in this country. It is a short-acting hallucinogen that is as strong and intense in its peak effect as is a double dose of mescaline. The distortion especially of time was remarkable. Colors intensified, patterns formed, the whole bit.

And the while we listened to Rush Limbaugh. Here's a note to all you Lefties who think that if you could just get us Conservatives stoned we'd mellow out and see it your way: A tripping Conservative Nationalist is just that much more intensely conservative and nationalist.

Side effects? We were able to take our pulse even in the stupor we were in. Slightly elevated. No mouth-dryness as with actual pot, and Spice seems to be a broncho-dilator. No increase in appetite, either.

Duration of effects were : rapid onset ten seconds after first inhalation, intensifying to peak level three minutes after last inhalation. Peak effect lasting for about 45 minutes, petering out to simple drowsiness over the next two hours. Total time: a bit less than 3 hours. Afterward we slept for eight hours and woke up refreshed and completely sober, a fact we verified by playing a game of computer chess and a tile-match game, winning both; and putting ourselves through a series of field sobriety tests such as the cops use. We are glad to report that we're just fine.

This is not something we'd do again. We simply do not have the time, and unlike a few beers, this stuff blows you right out of your gourd for better than half-an-hour with a "trip" reminiscent of powerful agents such as LSD, Mescaline, and Psylocybin. We only smoked 1/4 gram of this stuff.

So if you've never tried this stuff, here's what the effects are; personally reported by the Alexandria Daily Poop.

Were this stuff illegal, we never would have tried it. If it remains legal, we personally would not go there again, anyway. But if this stuff does remain legal, then marijuana and hashish should be completely legal also. Spice is MUCH more powerful.