SATIRE: AN EXCERPT FROM THE SOTOMAYOR CONFIRMATION HEARINGS

excerpt from the United States Senate hearings on the appointment of Judge Sotomayor to the Supreme court of the United States:


HONORABLE SENATOR JEFF SESSIONS (R-Al): Judge Sotomayor, Your Honor, we have at length tried to obtain at least one straight answer from you today, largely without success. Just to give us here a little room to fudge things in your favor, please answer this one question as directly and truthfully and candidly as possible: Your Honor, what time is it?


JUDGE SOTOMAYOR: Well as you may or may not know, time is told with a clock. And building a clock is a pretty intricate affair, what with all the small and large gears and such needing to be so precisely machined and aligned, it is a very difficult process, this building of the clock to tell the time, and one generally must go to a reputable jeweler or watch-maker rather than try to build the timepiece oneself. This particular watch on my wrist I have had since I bought it at K-Mart back in the days when I was in law school, and it has been running a little slow lately so it is maybe five before noon. But I just got a new battery so it might be a little fast so it could be a few minutes after noon. Do you think we could adjourn for lunch and discuss this after?