ON THE ENDING OF THE DECADE.

TONIGHT IS NEW YEAR'S EVE, That evening on which many here in Alexandria will be in need of taxicabs, which is good as I l am in need of dollars. Even though the occasion represents nothing really any more important than the rolling over of a car odometer - and arguably a great deal less - it is used by millions as an excuse to go out and get pig-faced drunk. Therefore I shall cease operations at 11:30 PM. I am so NOT putting up with a crowd of asshole drunks .

With this last post of the year I am announcing the "Winner" of the Idiot of the Year Contest. Here's how it works:

Every month I select the worst idiot I have met in the course of driving the hack. The qualifications are as follows: The candidate must be a normal person of average or above intelligence. Retards, mental cases, etc cannot help it, and this is NOT a great honor. The candidate cannot be drunk, because in the competition for Idiot of the Year, alcohol is a performance-enhancing drug.

The stupidity demonstrated must be truly stupendous and patently incommensurate with the intelligence and standing of the candidate.

Simple stupid driving does not qualify; if it did i would have too many candidates. Egregious road-raging, as with this year's winner however, does.

AND NOW THE WINNER OF "IDIOT OF THE YEAR". The winner is:

Last month I was going eastbound on West Braddock Road. An SUV ahead was turning left, so I had to stop. Some idiot behind me was blowing his horn, and when the SUV cleared the roadway he blasted again as I began to proceed. So I slammed on the brakes. And he blasted the horn yet again. THEN he began following me. I became a bit concerned so I turned down several side streets and sure enough, he kept on my tail. So I proceeded to the King Street Metro with the candidate in tow. He parked behind me on the taxi stand for abot 30 seconds and then pulled up alongside me, showing me his cell-phone and unleashing an obscenity-laced tirade about how he was "reporting" me to the "dispatcher". It was then I noticed the 6-year-old kid in the back seat. So I told him what a clas act he was putting on for the kid to follow and told him I was going to report him to Child Protective Services, whereupon he turned pale and got the hell outta there.

AND SO, MISTER ROAD RAGER, WHOEVER YOU ARE; BEC AUSE you act like a child when you don't get your way;
BECAUSE even though you were in such a goddamned hurry, you still found time to chase me around;
BECAUSE in so doing you did not know me, did not know if i might be armed, etc;
BECAUSE in so doing you potentially endangered not just your self, but a young child;
BECAUSE additionally you provided an horrible example for that child;
BECAUSE your stupendous ego is obviously of more importance to you than your own safety not to mention that of said child;

YOU, MISTER ROAD RAGER, ARE OFFICIALLY THE 2009

IDIOT OF THE YEAR!!!!

Now go suck a donkey dick, you fucking jerk.

Happy New Year to everyone else!

HEALTH CARE? OR TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION?

AS THE HOLY DAY OF CHRISTMAS APPROACHES, THE DEMON-RAT PARTY CONTINUES IN ITS EFFORTS TO SHOVE SO-CALLED "OBAMACARE" DOWN THE PROTESTING THROATS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. WHY are they so insistant on passing this gob of garbage?

COULD IT BE that they are sooooo concerned that you will get a boo-boo and not be able to get cared for? Hell no. They don't give a good Goddamn about "the little guy" they so like to say they are championing. To them, the little guy is just that, a pissant. Just ask the flight attendant that Shecky Schumer called a "bitch" for asking him to turn off his cell phone during takeoff. They don't give a flying FUCK how many people do not want this dog's breakfast of statist mandates. Harry Reid has all but told us we will get it and we will like it (or else).

ACTUALLY WHAT HAS THE RATZ ALL TURNED ON ABOUT THIS "HEALTH CARE BILL" IS THAT IT IS NOT ABOUT HEALTH CARE AT ALL. IT IS A GOD DAMNED FUCKING TAX BILL. Just like wabbits wuv cawwots, DemonRatz love taxes. Wait! you say. Tax bills have to originate in the HOUSE, and this is a SENATE BILL.

HO ho ho.

YOU SEE, DEAR READER, THE PRESENT BILL ORIGINATED IN THE HOUSE WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE AS A TAX BILL. I found this out when my Senator Mark Warner directed me to his FAQ on the topic. This TAX BILL originated in the Ways and Means committee and was sent over to the Senate, where the House language got stripped out and the Senate language was inserted. Only the bill number and title remained. So technically this TAX BILL originated in the House; but not one word of the present form of the bill has been debated in the House; and their hope is that they can get the Senate package approved by a "reconciliation committee". It is easier to bamboozle, bribe and intimidate 60 senators than it is to do so to a couple hundred Representatives.. You see the vile little game??? I hope you do.

NOW YOU MIGHT ASK WHY THE RATZ WOULD TRY TO GET A TAX BILL PASSED THIS WAY. The answer is simple. They can sell it to as many folks as possible as "Insurance"; but if it is ever challenged in court, they can say it is nothing but aa TAX BILL on income as allowed by the 16th Amendment. They want more money - hell they will need it to pay off the Senators they bribed to pass it - and they will sell their souls, your bodies, and this very nation to get this illegal money-and-power grab signed into law.

I SEE NO OTHER RECOURSE IF THIS ATROCITY IS PASSED AND SIGNED INTO LAW THAN REBELLION. Let it begin at the ballot box. Let it be unrelenting on the soap box. And let us hope we will not need the cartridge box. But this design to reduce us under despotism cannot, must not, AND WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO STAND.

THE BLIZZARD OF 2009

WELL HERE IT IS SUNDAY AND ABOUT 48 HOURS AFTER THE SNOW FIRST STARTED FALLING IN THE "BLIZZARD OF 2009" The snow finally stopped sometime around one AM this morning, making this a 29-hour weather event. Now I have been in the DC area since October of 1973; and although I have seen a greater quantity of snow I have NEVER seen it snow for a whole day and night. Hells bells, this doesn't even happen in my native Ohio very often.

I did not even bother trying to dig out until about 5:30 PM and it took me over an hour to free the cab and get going. Even now however the plow crews are just starting to get caught up. Major through roads are mainly clear but secondary streets are touch-and-go and the conditions of secondary streets depend mainly on how badly the residents wanted to get out. Some of then have been shoveled by the residents, but the plows have not gotten to most of them.

The idiots who live here in Northern Virginia however do not listen to the police when they ask anyone who does not absolutely have to be out in this to stay put. The roads are an absolute obstacle course of stuck vehicles and accidents. And lets not even mention, the pedestrians; who walk in the middle of the road and force drivers to slam on the brakes resulting in everything from spinouts to collisions. And, here in recession-proof Richie Richville we have dolts who strap on their cross-country skis and treat the snow-clogged streets as their personal schuss.

I don't know what the official total snowfall is, but around here the shit is knee-deep which in my case is about 22 inches.

There is a huge demand for cabs right now and you might think I would make a lot of money from going out and driving, and you might wonder why a cabbie is blogging with everybody and his uncle deluging the company with calls. Obviously you have never done what I do for a living. People call cabs because they cannot get their cars out of their streets; so they call us and if a driver is stupid enough to actually take a call, often as not he winds up just as stuck as the people who called; who half the time have decided they don't want to go after all. It is pretty hard to be polite to such hammerheads, especially when you wish you could use a tire iron to bludgeon some sense into them; so for my part I just cruise for street pickups.

My hat is off to the little shops and restaurants whose brave employees have opened up through this freakish event. At least I have not lacked for food, drink, etc; and some of them have asked why, since they were able to get to work, that I am not working. Like most people in this liberal-infested dump they don't bother thinking. All they had to do was drive TO work. For me, driving IS work.

However, tomorrow is Monday and despite government closures there is still going to be a ton of business, and not just hammerheads wanting to go out and get drunk. I hope to hell the plows get more work done by 4:30 AM; because snow or no, tomorrow I gotta go out and make it happen. Getting sots to a bar is not essential work. Getting people to work is. Wish me luck.

Letter From The Editor: EPA OVERREACH

I HAVE NOT WRITTEN HERE FOR A WHILE. THERE IS JUST SO MUCH HAPPENING AND SO FAST THAT IT IS HARD TO KEEP UP. Even when I have thought I could have been confounded, amazed, astonished and infuriated to the limits of human tolerance, a new outrage has come along seemingly daily if not hourly. I must add that one bright spot was seeing "president" Obama accepting his Nobel Peace Prize and then lecturing the idiot peacenik Norskers about the necessity of warfare in defense of liberty. Oh, I do not believe for a minute that he believed - or possibly even understood - a word of what he said (except the parts wherein he praised himself). But Obama is all about which way the wind blows, and right now the wind is not blowing his way. However it was worth watching the Nobel Committee sit and listen to a speech basically telling them that their pacifist attitudes need to be adjusted to reality; and seeing the looks on their faces that said (as many Americans now also feel) "Why in HELL did we vote for this TOOL??"

And then there was Tiger Woods, who evidently only uses the big head on the golf course and is guided at all other times by the little head of Mister Wiener. But really, who gives a damn about Tiger Woods? Some guys canoodle and lose everything, and everybody knows some schmoe who has done exactly that. Tiger could split the community property with his wife, pay off anyone who needs to be paid off, and still have enough dough to live very well indeed. So fuck him.

But the Left keeps throwing sucker punches; and a few days ago one came out of the blue: The Environmental Protection Agency has decided to take what they like to call a "Supreme Court Mandate" concerning regulation of CO2 and run with it.

The (Director?) of the EPA is some goddamned bitch who is a fanatical environmental wacko. She has announced her intent to agressively implement controls on CO2; which by the bye is what every living thing exhales every minute of every hour of every day. The way this Leftist battleaxe looks at things, she has the power to come into your bathroom and shut off the hot water because heating it requires burning fuel and "producing" CO2. And I am not kidding either, she is just that unhinged.

Now this obsession with so-called "greenhouse gases" is ostensibly to protect you, me, and the Planet. But in reality what this Leftist - words fail me - cunt wants is what Obama and Reid and Pelosi want with their "cap and trade" and Obamacare crapola. They do NOT give a good god damn about sick little kids, "The Uninsured", "The Environment", melting ice caps, cute little 10-foot-tall maneating polar bears (who are doing just fine thank you, "global warming" or no), or anything else save for POWER and CONTROL.

So the EPA wants to tell me I cannot have a hot shower?? FUCK YOU. I will have you know, Little Ms. Bitch; that not only do I shower every day in water hot as I can stand (The better to get the diirt off) but I also stay in there a long time with the water running at FULL BLAST thanks to the fact that I have surgically removed the idiot flow restrictor on my shower massaage unit (and now the massage is dandy!) AND I shave at the end while my beard is nice and soft.

And since I have a couple of guitars, I keep the AC on all day and night 24-7 in the summer so as to have a constant temperature so they won't warp. How you EnviroNazis like THAT shit? HUH??

The time for these jokers is short, indeed. But we in the meantime nust resist with everthing we have. If we do not, there may not be an America to have an election in come November 2010.

REMEMBER, REMEMBER

TODAY IS DECEMBER THE SEVENTH 2009. IT IS THE 68th ANNIVERSARY OF THE JAPANESE SNEAK ATTACK ON PEARL HARBOR WHICH CATAPULTED THE UNITED STATES INTO WORLD WAR II. Yet how many remembered this sometime within about four hours of rising?

When we watched the attacks of 9-11 take place, we felt a similar shock as our parents did on hearing the news of Pearl Harbor. Now we are at war with an enemy even more fanatical and a shadowy one at that.

But no mention of this from the floor of the House or the Senate. It would be an inconvenient reminder that one does not read the enemy his rights and try him in a civilian court in a war. In a war one kills the enemy until the enemy surrenders. The present government, full of weaklings, traitors and cowards, does not want to remind the sheeple of what war is. They want to pretend that we are conducting some sort of criminal investigation. Besides, they are busy trying to engineer a device called "Obamacare" which will do NOTHING to benefit the citizenry but which will open a door to total abrogation of almost every individual right we think we have.

Remember Pearl Harbor. And repulse these DemonRat sneak attacks on our freedoms.

THANKSGIVING

WELL YOU MAY WONDER JUST EXACTLY WHAT WE AT THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP FEEL THANKFUL FOR THIS ANNUAL DAY OF GRATITUDE; what with a communist nincompoop running the country (to the ground) and bowing to foreign princes and putting war criminals into our civilian criminal justice system; with a recession that just seems like it will never let up, with us personally on the verge of losing everything and we do mean everything. And we do say that we try to be cynical but it is really hard keeping up these days. But we will give it a go.

Let us give thanks that "president" Obama has not been killed, despite the fact that a couple of party crashers fast-talked their way uninvited to a STATE DINNER AT THE WHITE HOUSE OH MAH GAWD. We at the ADP cannot stand "president" Obama, but we prefer he be impeached or voted out of the White House and not carried out. Otherwise the riots that would ensue would be horrendous. And let's not even mention the possibility of "president" Barack Hussein Obama in Arlington Cemetery. Isn't it bad enough that Ted Kennedy is taking his dirt nap there?

Let us be thankful for our Constitution, which mandates that the entire US House of Representaatives and one third of the Senate be up for grabs every two years. This arrangement has forced the hand of the DemonRatz. They have gone too far too fast and America is waking up to the hustle. The "wait a minute, not so fast" instinct has kicked in. And indeed Obama and the Ratz stink so badly that not even Saturday Night Live can stand it.

And thanks be for the blessing of the talent of whomever hacked and published the Emails of a cabal of corrupt "scientists" who have been trying to scare us all about "global Warming" or "climate change" or whatever they are going to call it now that it has been exposed as a fraud.

And personally we are thankful for hope itself; and for the good friends with whom we will partake of the Thanksgiving feast later this afternoon. Whether you are feasting and hanging out with friends, family or both this day; be aware that in the end it is just that closeness and bonhommie that makes life livable even in these somewhat dark days. The smile and the laughter of a friend or a family member is something money cannot buy. But in extremity it can easily be obtained by the simple device of falling down slam on your ass.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING;
From the multiple personalities who produce and edit the Alexandria Daily Poop.

GOODBYEll OPRAH WINFREY (Has it really been 25 years?)

THE ALEXANDRIA DAILY POOP WOULD LIKE TO BID FAREWELL TO OPRAH WINFREY AND HER TALK SHOW. Unfortunately we will not be able to do this until next year. Besides, we will believe it when we see it happen.
Oprah evidently cannot wait either as she got all weepy during the announcement of her (allegedly) pending retirement. Most long-running hosts (Johnny Carson, eg) save the waterworks for the final signoff but Oprah has - face it, people - made a living out of being a drama queen. Hence the boohoohoo one year in advance..
As far as we can tell, Oprah is mainly notable for being a former fat pig who lost so much weight that she pulled a kid's wagon full of lard to show the equivalent amount of fat she had lost. That, and her book club; and most recently her endorsement of Barack Hussein Obama last year during the elections. Oh yes, and she is also one of those uber rich lefties who support higher taxes on the rich except, of course her and her ilk because; being one of the "liberal elite" she can spend her money wisely. As for the rest of us, we need to have our money confiscated for our own good.
Basically Oprah Winfrey has made her money by being a professional public spectacle. She has pulled this off successfully, but we at the Alexandria Daily Poop have for the most part ignored her as the inconsequential twit that she is. Twenty-five years? She has been in the public eye that long?

Well, toodles, Oprah. Maybe you will finally shut the fuck up and go back to porking out. We can only hope.....