CLARIFICATION OF OUR TITLE FOR PUERILE IDIOTS

RECENTLY WE WERE GOING THROUGH THE STATISTICS FOR THIS BLOG. THESE STATISTICS INCLUDE THE WORDS PEOPLE ENTER IN VARIOUS SEARCH ENGINES.

Look, folks. The term "poop" is a slang word for "information" or "rumor" IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ELIMINATION OF INTESTINAL WASTE.

Well, we will admit to a tad of coyness in the title. See, it's sort of a spoof on Markos Whatzizname's "Daily Kos" idiot daily outpouring of Leftist blitherting.

Nonetheless when I am monitoring the stats for this E rag, I keep running across search words like "gloves for use in training about pooping".

ICK.

Although we rarely post daily, the information stream continues. We try to comment as much as possible, but we have a real job (unlike you fucking lefties out there).

We also do our best to keep away from references to bodily functions. But since you idiots brought it up, I need to tell you that I am closing the post because I need to drop Michelle and Barack off at the pool.

Toodles.

THE DEBT CEILING AND (SURPRISE) YET MORE GOVERNMENT CHICANERY

IS THERE NO END TO THE FRAUD BEING COMMITTED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT? Well, we hope there will be finally in about 16 months. Here's the latest revelation (although this has been going on for years)

BACK IN 1961, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ESTABLISHED A P.O. BOX IN WEST VIRGINIA TO WHICH PRIVATE CITIZENS, OUT OF LOVE FOR COUNTRY, COULD SEND CONTRIBUTIONS WITH WHICH TO "PAY DOWN THE NATIONAL DEBT". Since then, countless people have sent contributions ranging from a few dollars to several hundred and even thousands of dollars.

I was disappointed - but not in the least surprised - to find out from today's Washington Post that NOT ONE DIME OF THAT LOOT has been used to pay down the debt. It has instead been dumped into the General Fund and spent.

Caught with their fingers in the cookie jar, the people at the "Office of the National Debt" explained that the money was used to keep the government from having to borrow even more than they have.

WHAT THE F%#@K KIND OF LAME GODDAMN EXPLANATION IS THAT???

Parents, if your kid in college is using your credit card and maxes it, and you send him money with instructions to pay off the card balance; and if instead he spends it on pizza and beer and tells you that he did this because it would make it possible for him to get by without putting more on the card, would you say: "Great idea, Johnny! That's using the old noodle!"?

The real corker is that this fund was created by an act of Congress in order to enable a rich widow to donate her entire estate to the Federal Government. She thought she was helping get the United States out of debt. Instead she probably wound up paying for that slinky sequinned dress that Marilyn Monroe wore to sing Happy Birthday to JFK; perhaps for a Happy Ending by Marilyn for JFK's birthday; and possibly even for the pills and booze she OD'ed on.

Max Bialystock would be so proud. Defrauding widows. Tsk.

Now comes "president" Obama saying that Boehner "left me at the altar" because Boehner would not agree to a smoke-and-mirrors tax increase AND a debt ceiling increase with some nebulous promises of spending "cuts" (Meaning not spending as much more next year than we did this year as we had planned, which is only a "spending cut" if you are a wheedling teenager or a Democrat). Obama asked, "Is there ANYTHING the Republicans will say "yes" to?"

Well, there is. They just won't say yes to letting you and the rest of the rats have ever more of the people's cheese while you call it "austerity". Look, buster. the Republicans were voted in to BE the "party of NO". NO to any more of your shenannigans.

Right now this country borrows 42 cents of every dollar of spending. The Federal Government MUST be cut by 2/5ths AS A START.

THAT is why we here at the Alexandria Daily Poop say that, unless the Republicans get massive steep cuts with NO increase in taxes; they should deny ANY increase in the debt limit. Republicans don't want a default, and there is sufficient money coming in to finance the debt plus more. Failing to raise the US Credit Limit will NOT result in default.

It WILL result in Obama having to make cuts more massive and severe than anything the Republicans are demanding. And our side is set to play their cards right. You DemonRat goofs will get this laid right at your doorstep, where - for the record - you know damned well it belongs.

FIREARMS CORNER (NEW FEATURE)

You would think, given the photo on the masthead, that we here at the Alexandria Daily Poop might do a post or two on firearms from time to time.

Well. it's about time we did. So here goes.

We were in the bathroom the other day amusing ourselves with a back issue of a gun magazine while we dealt with our own "back issue" (if you know what we mean, and if y0u don't, then what we mean is we were reading while we were taking a shit, dumbass) when we ran into an ad that advertised a gun that embodied "The latest in muzzle-loading technology".

This is akin to offering an improved 8-track tape deck.

There is, to be certain, a special cachet attached to using original or replica versions of 18th century firearms to hunt and target-shoot. There are two systems currently in use for hunting and matches using muzzle loading firearms. Both have in common the necessity of loading the propellant and projectile by shoving them down the muzzle.

In a flintlock, the hammer holds a piece of sharpened flint that strikes a piece of steel in order to produce sparks to ignite the main charge.

In a percussion lock, a metal cap is placed over a nipple which directs the flame produced when the hammer strikes the cap so as to ignite the main charge.

This weapon touted as the "Latest muzzle-loading technology" has one refinement: the nipple for the cap is placed on the back of the barrel and is struck not by a hammer but by a spring-loaded bolt which travels straight forward instead of down.

Oh, yeah. And it has a polymer stock and fiberglass bedding for more accuracy.

Personally if I'm going to go hunting with a muzzle-loading black powder piece, I'll use a flintlock. If you're gonna go primitive, then go all the way.

I mean, you wouldn't try to prove Fermat's last theorem on a "modern" abacus, would you?

Or would you?

CHARLIE SHEEN IS OWED AN APOLOGY

ONE OF THE BENEFITS of driving a taxicab on the night shift is that I am mostly spared the idiocy that the networks call "prime time television". I do enjoy "Criminal Minds" and some other police procedureals; and "Harriet's Law" is entertaining when I can catch it. But sitcoms have been basically insipid dreck since at least the onset of the 1980s. I hated "Friends", I hated "Will and Grace"; and although I think "Seinfeld" was funny, a little bit of Jerry Seinfeld goes a long, long way.

So when I heard about "Two and a Half Men", I thought: stupid. A dad and his brother raise Dad's tweener son.

So when Charlie Sheen began acting up and wound up getting fired, I thought: well, good. He's playing a role model for a young kid on TV and then he goes acting like some hybrid of Alestair Crowley and Otis the Mayberry town drunk? Well no wonder they cut him loose. Can't have a guy like that playing the family member of a young boy!

THEN LAST NIGHT I WOKE UP FACE TO FACE WITH THE SHOW. I often leave the television on when I go to sleep, since it drowns out the sirens and loud obnoxious drunks just outside my window. When I wake up, I watch about 15 minutes of whatever is staring me in the face, and then get ready and go to work. Last night, what was staring me in the face was "Two and a Half Men."

The opening scene was of the boy and his - girlfriend, is it? - feeling their way through an awkward attempt at romance, only to be interrupted by the boy's drunken uncle "Charlie" (Sheen) who inserts himself into the conversation and changes the subject to condoms and his experience with "the clap". When the girl gets grossed out and leaves, the kid vows revenge on his uncle.

The boy's revenge comes with an opportunity to suggest to his dad (Jon Cryer) that he invite his sluttish, shrewish grandmother over to the house to celebrate her birthday. Cryer accepts, and on the way over the grandmother asks to be taken to a pharmacy to buy lubricant so she can masturbate more efficiently since her "HooHa" is rather dried up.

At the pharmacy they meet the proprietor (Martin Mull) who is sucking on a popsicle that Mull says is a "Codeine Pop" He and Grandma seem to hit it off, and he is invited to the party. He asks what to bring, suggesting various powerful narcotics. Sheen tells him to bring "whatever (he) wants to bring.

Later back at the house, Grandma is eagerly awaiting Mull. When he shows up, it turns out he has brought a 30-year-old model (who explains that she lets Mull "climb on" her a couple times a month in exchange for rent money and drugs. A round of disgusting sexual references ensues, and the evening ends with Grandma hooking up with the model for a little lesbian sex.

In the end Mull tells Sheen and Cryer that it's a pity that he took "a fistful of Viagra" in anticipation of some sex, whereupon Sheen and Cryer run out of the room.

The final scene is of Mull talking to a prominent tent in the crotch of his pants.

Firing Sheen from this series is like the producer of a documentary about pigs wallowing in shit telling a farmer that they can't use his pigs because they wallow in shit even off-camera. Real life Charlie is arguably a superior moral character to the one he plays in the show. CBS is going to have to troll Skid Row relentlessly to replace him.

To say that Charlie Sheen's private life disqualifies him from starring in this telecast of a sewer is ludicrous. And whatever actor replaces him will be marked for life by the role.

CBS owes Sheen an apology.

HERE'S AN IDEA: REPEAL OBAMACARE!

Yes, mister "president" Obama, it's time for you to eat your peas.

Since you're so damn all-fired willing to put things people like "on the table" to be cut in exchange for an increase in the debt limit, THEN WHY IN HELL DON'T YOU PUT THE FIASCO OF "OBAMACARE", WHICH ALMOST EVERYONE HATES AND NOBODY REALLY LIKES, UP FOR REPEAL??

All you are trying to do is stick it to the Republicans, and you don't much care who gets hurt, do you?

You Republicans reading this: know that if you don't raise the debt ceiling, the USA does not HAVE to default, IF "president" Obama does his duty and makes cuts more massive than the minimum you would be satisfied with. And don't let him push it off on YOU. remind everybody continually that had he just junked Obamacare, he wouldn't have had to do the cutting.

He'll offer to make you look like goons for voting for cuts in Social Security, because that hook has been set. Ditto Medicare.

But the people are not yet terminally addicted to Obamacare, and the Dems are hell-bent on holding onto that un-Constitutional piece of garbage because it will give them the tools to totally control every aspect of every person's life in this Nation.

So demand the repeal of Obamacare as a condition of raising the debt ceiling (and then don't raise it very much).

STAND FAST. WE ARE WINNING!!!

THE CASEY ANTHONY VERDICT

The jury in the Florida trial of Casey Anthony has returned verdicts of NOT GUILTY on all of the felony counts, and GUILTY of three of four counts of making false statements to a police officer.

This outcome has provoked howls of outrage among some bloodthirsty folks. But twelve good citizens all said that the State failed to prove that Ms. Anthony did anything unlawful to her daughter. These outraged folks had been having their appetite for an auto-da-fe whetted by the lurid media coverage of the case for the last three years. Any fool can see that Casey Anthony is a flake of the first water, and likely had no business having custody of a child in the first place.

But being a flake and being a murderer are two different things. Too much of the prosecution's case consisted of showing that Anthony was a flake. Everything else was speculation based on circumstance, which is a very different thing than "circumstantial evidence". Even the cause of death was vague.

As the defense very adroitly pointed out, the prosecution's case consisted of: Cute little innocent girl; flaky, weird mommy; goofy mommies have been known to kill their kids; so what else could it be?

That is NOT "evidence beyond a reasonable doubt".

We do not say here that Casey Anthony is INNOCENT. the verdict was "NOT GUILTY". She may well have murdered her daughter. But "obviously she had to have done it" is not proof beyond a reasonable doubt. That's the standard for conviction. It is a high standard, and that's a good thing. "Probably did it" is insufficient reason for sending someone to prison or the death chamber.

Suppose that everyone knows that you are a big camera buff and have been known to say that you want a very expensive digital camera, that you positively obsess over it. One morning the police come to your door and accuse you of stealing that model of camera from your neighbor's car. There are no fingerprints, just the fact that you live next door and were seen going into your house at 3 AM carrying a bag that you explain contained items you had purchased at 7-11 after walking to the store. A search of your home reveals no evidence of the stolen camera, but you are arrested because, if not you then who else would have done such a thing?? Oh, and you own a pair of gloves, which they allege explains the lack of fingerprints.

In court the prosecutor points out that you have borrowed tools and not returned them. Surely you must have stolen that camera. And maybe you did. But how should the jury rule, given the evidence presented?

In the Anthony case, TWELVE PEOPLE decided that there existed a short ton of "reasonable doubt".

You see, ensuring that the innocent are NOT unjustly punished is a higher priority than punishing the truly guilty. When the bloodthirsty fools condemn this verdict they should stop and consider if they would like to have a case involving them be "tried" by lurid TV shows and "experts" who don't know; who have never seen the evidence that is presented to the jury. The twelve jurors quite speedily came to a unanimous and confident conclusion that the evidence given them to consider did NOT constitute sufficient proof to send Casey Anthony to the death chamber. That's the end of that, and that's as it should be.

CORPORATE JETS, JOBS, THE ECONOMY AND (OF COURSE) OBAMA

I WAS GOING TO PUBLISH ANOTHER IN MY SERIES OF ESSAYS ON THE STATIST LEFT TODAY, BUT THEN OUR NINCOMPOOP "PRESIDENT" STARTED SHOOTING OFF HIS MOUTH ABOUT "PRIVATE JETS" AGAIN.

"President" Obama is trying to place into the public mind the image of a fat, rich pig with a Rolex watch jetting about the world aboard a sumptuous private jet airplane as the symbol of who the Republicans are trying to "help" via their insistence on no new or raised taxes and deep cuts in spending. He is attempting to contrast the image of a modern-day robber baron enjoying caviar and champagne whilst gadding about in luxury on his private Lear or Cessna jet; while thousands of feet below a poor mother cries as her infant child dies.

The child dies, of course, because that wealthy swine in that jet was allowed by his Republican pals to avoid paying his "fair share" of taxes, thereby denying the government the means of saving the child by providing the mother with the medical care the child needs.

Let me tell you morons who swallow this line of crapola something about private jets.

Oh, they are expensive to be sure. But Juan Valdez does not pick them off of a tree. Private jets are one hell of a big industry. Their production supports a lot of other industry, too. Cessna does not make the gyroscopes for the guidance/autopilot systems. Sperry does. Cessna does not make the communications gear. Motorola and other companies do. The steel cables to move the controls, the electric motors to move the rudder, flaps, ailerons, and other control surfaces; the high-pressure tubing for the hydraulics; the engines and much more are provided by separate companies that each employ thousands of skilled, semiskilled and unskilled workmen. Each order for a private jet represents a need for the employment of hundreds of people. These are the people who also pay taxes that pay for the government programs without which - so saith Barackus Obamus Regis - that poor woman's child will die.

But if orders for private jets drop off, these people wind up jobless. What happens when their kids get sick? All the tycoon's money can't provide for them all as well as they could have provided for themselves had not Obama's class-warfare hooey resulted in the elimination of their employment.

And the original woman with the sick kid?

The kid STILL dies, because all the out-of-work people who formerly built, maintained, and flew the fat-cat's jet have added to the demand for government "help".

Now, in my world, the woman goes to the community and the church and her family, and they help, out of their goodness. That used to be the way in this country; but such archaic notions as community are actively discouraged - save for "community organizing" to get out the vote for the Statist lefties - by the American Progressive Liberals, who want no one to come together for anything except to vote for their ilk.

Otherwise it's "divide and conquer"; and set one group against the other and play them off on each other as the situation requires.

A few years ago I ran across a young man employed as a swimming-pool digger. It was in a local convenience store, and he sneeringly disparaged my purchase of the Washington Times. We had a conversation in which he derided the "fat cats" that the Republicans support. But then I asked him if he was digging swimming pools for paupers.

I made point after point, only to have him respond with the "fat cats have all the money" drivel that too many people of his age have been taught. When I told him that not a few of these so-called "fat cats" at one point in their lives dug swimming pools or worse, he snorted in derision.

Then I found out that he was digging pools as a summer job, since his (wealthy) folks didn't give him enough spending money to have fun while he was attending George Washington University; where he was studying to become a hydraulic engineer.

If "President" Obama has his way, that kid will wind up working at The Gap or something. And maybe his kid will get sick and die. All for the lack of a corporate jet to build.

Pathetic. Truly pathetic.

THE ENEMY WITHIN PART II: THE ASSAULT ON THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM

AS WE HAVE SHOWN, THE STATIST LEFT'S ASSAULT ON AMERICA IS LIKE A CALTHROPS, A FOUR-POINTED DEVICE DESIGNED TO INJURE HORSES AND PEOPLE BY BEING SO DESIGNED THAT WHEN THROWN UPON THE GROUND ONE POINT ALWAYS LANDS UPRIGHT TO PIERCE FEET OR HOOVES. THE FOUR POINTS OF THE STATIST-LEFT CALTHROP ARE THE ASSAULT ON INDEPENDENCE, THE ASSAULT ON THE FAMILY, THE ASSAULT ON CHRISTIANITY, AND THE ASSAULT ON THE ACADEMY. IT IS THE ASSAULT ON THE ACADEMY THAT IS THE MOST DANGEROUS AND INSIDIOUS ASPECT OF THIS WAR AGAINST OUR REPUBLIC.

I say this because the corruption of young minds is historically the first goal of those who would establish a tyranny. Old farts make lousy soldiers. Stormtroopers and Bolsheviks and Squadristi need to be young and rowdy and idealistically committed. "Give me a child from the age of seven..." as they say.

The basic tactic employed at all age levels in this assault is the assurance to the young that they are wiser than their elders, so long of course, that they vomit back what they are taught by those elders who are members of (or apologists for) the Statist Left. The Statist Left trusts that these youngsters are too young and foolish to notice that (for example) the exhortation to "Never trust anyone over the age of thirty" was made by Dr. Timothy Leary, who was well over the age of thirty when he counselled the youth of America to heed him.

Would that the kids of my generation had noticed this, taken the advice at face value, and told Leary and his pack of space cadets they were full of shit and should go pound sand. Instead, a lot of us "turned on" to LSD and mescaline, "Tuned in" to the seductive message that we were the "new generation" and -being wiser than our elders - could create Heaven on earth where everybody got high all the time and food and shelter (clothing being optional) appeared magically; and "dropped out". "Dropped out", that is, from that inconvenient and unpleasant circumstance commonly known as "reality". For many if not most of us, this worked out pretty well for a time, since our disgusting bourgeois parents - the fools - kept supplying us with food and clothing and shelter (and, let's not forget, tuition).

But just as every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the fairy-tale wonder of Woodstock was the very same year exposed as a manufactured fraud by the blood soaked reality of Altamont. Even so, enough young minds refused to concede that they had been deluded into chasing a mirage to maintain the assault on the minds of the young in this nation.

There is much more background to all this, but after all it is background. We are here writing of the present state of the assault on the Academy.

In a very important way, the assault on the Academy is the linchpin of the entire effort of the Statist Left to bring down the United States as a barrier to the takeover of the globe by Leftist Statism. For it is in the Academy that the precepts underlying (emphasis on "lying") Leftist Statism are taught. The assault on the Academy is conducted on three main fronts: The myth of the superiority of Youth; the revision and misrepresentation of History, and (easily observable but just as easily obscured) the turning of the Youth against their elders.

Right now the fashionable way to corrupt the young is to involve them into the "let's save the planet" bullshit currently being discussed. A favorite technique is for a professor or high school instructor to tell his or her young charges that their situation is analogous to a frog being boiled alive.

According to this narrative, we older folk are like frogs who started out in a pan full of cold water, who have had the heat turned up gradually and don't know they are being boiled to death slowly. Meanwhile these teenage innocents are told that they are analogous to young frogs who can feel the boiling water and who jump out immediately, leaving the complacent older frogs to die.

This analogy makes these kids feel several orders of magnitude wiser than their far more experienced elders. It also encourages the young to - rather than see their elders as a fountain of experience to be learned from - see their elders as hopeless fools who refuse to see the light they have been shown, and distracts them from realizing that they are more analogous to moths being lured by a flame held by their instructors (so many of whom are old enough to be their parents) and who are being used to further the agenda of a pack of would-be dictators.

The corruption of the young is essential to the other four barbs of the Statist-Left calthrop. The justification of various Statist policies is centered on the good of the youth. If one front in the war on liberty can be said to be more important than the rest, it is the assault on the Academy, which enables the corruption of the Youth.